“I’m so tired! And hungry!”, Chansung growled as he entered the dorm with the others after an intense practice. “You’re always hungry, so your second complain doesn’t count!” As always Junho had to . But the youngest just shrugged and went off to the kitchen to find something to eat. “Just cook for everyone when you’re in the kitchen already! But don’t burn it down again!” Chansung ignored it and started cooking for himself and his hyungs.

“I still wonder why you eat so much every time. It can’t be that you’re really hungry, can it?” Minjun asked for the nth time. So many years of living together, but they never solved the mystery of Chansung’s eating habits. But again the maknae didn’t answer and just ate his food in silence. He’d never tell them why he’s so addicted to all kinds of food…


“Channie, you have to eat. Please!” the young girl sitting next to him pleaded, but he shook his head. She sighed. “You’re getting thinner. You have to eat to survive, you know? Please…” But he shook his head again. “Sangmi, I don’t want to. And just go home already…”, he sighed. But now it was her time to shake her head. “No. I won’t. Not until you ate and told me what the is wrong with you!” She seemed angry now. But it was justified since Chansung was like a different person for the last few days. But her best friend wouldn’t tell her why he suddenly changed like that.  


“Channie?...” No reaction. “Chansung?” Still nothing, just a staring into space maknae. “Man, you’re really creepy!” Wooyoung said and looked at the others expectantly. This has never happened before and he didn’t know what to do. But reading their faces no one of them had an idea what was wrong with Chansung.


Chansung knew that he had no chance against Sangmi’s pleading. She was too persistent. But he couldn’t tell her the truth. He just couldn’t. Because all of this was about her. Or better said because of his feelings for her he recently discovered. How was there anything good to fall in love with your best friend? He knew she’d never feel the same for him. It was a lost battle for his heart before it even started. They were neighbors, friends. Best friends. But there was no chance that there would be more than this friendship. So he kind of fell into a depression. He didn’t knew how to go on. He couldn’t be near her, because he feared that his emotions would take control over his words and actions. But he couldn’t be apart from her either. He needed her like a fish needs water.


Suddenly Chansung stood up, leaving half of his food untouched. “I’m going to bed.” was his quiet murmur before he disappeared into his room and closed the door behind him. “What is wrong with him? He left food!” Wooyoung frowned and also the other member seemed very worried.

Inside his room Chansung curled up on the bed, holding an old photo in his hands. “Why does it still hurt this much, Sangmi? Why do I still love you after all this years?” he whispered as he over the photograph’s surface. It showed him and Sangmi. She was tugged in his embrace, both smiling happily into the camera. Their fingers were laced together, showing their couple rings proudly.
As he watched his own face from much happier times, tears started to escape his eyes. Everything had started off so well. And now he was lying here in his bed, crying and all he got was this old photo and his memories.


“I’m… I’m in love.” Chansung finally said as he couldn’t see Sangmi’s desperate face anymore. She instantly widened her eyes and gulped. “What?” “I’m in love with someone. But I know she’ll never like me back.” he explained finally while looking at the floor. He felt his heart getting less heavy at the indirect confession. But the guilt and pressure was still there. “Who is it? Do I know her?” Why was her voice so bitter suddenly? But before he could ask, she continued. “And how can you be sure she doesn’t like you back? How can one not like you? You’d make the perfect boyfriend. You’re smart, handsome, romantic yet manly. You’re surely what every girl dreams of.” Chansung stared at her. It was such a twisted situation. On one hand it was so sweet of her, her words towards him. On the other hand it hurt, ‘cause she encouraged him to confess his love and didn’t seem to have a problem with the fact that he had feelings like this for ‘another person’. So he felt confirmed that she won’t feel the same as him.
“Channie?” he heard her voice loud and clear even if it was just a quiet whisper. So he looked up, directly into her face. He hadn’t noticed that she was this close to him. But now it came like a blizzard. He could smell her, he could feel her warmth, he could see her beautiful eyes. His heart started beating fast and hard against his ribcage and he gulped down some salvia. And then it happened. His fear became reality: his emotions took control over him and he leaned forward and placed his lips on Sangmi’s. After a few seconds he let go again. “Am I also what you dream of as a boyfriend?” he asked and chewed on his bottom lip, looking into her big orbs.
Sangmi took a deep breath and then she smiled brightly and her eyes were sparkling. “You have no idea how long I’m already dreaming of you that way, Channie.” she confessed and caressed his check, before she kissed him. It was a sweet kiss of a young love and soon both of them were just lying on the bed in each other’s embrace. “How stupid are we that we didn’t realized our feelings for each other?” Chansung asked and they chuckled. “Too stupid. But the way doesn’t matter if your destination is correct. And I think we finally reached our right destination.” Sangmi said and all Chansung could do was nod and kiss her again.
Best friends finally turned to girlfriend and boyfriend. And it just felt so right.
  
This was one of Chansung’s luckiest days. Nobody was surprised when they announced that they were a couple. Also their parents expected it long ago and Chansung and Sangmi felt even dumber. But that didn’t stop them from being happy teenagers in love. But around two years later she was gone. Overnight she just disappeared and even her family didn’t know about her whereabouts. She was just gone. Chansung was broken but he had just auditioned at JYP and was about to start training soon, so he had to concentrate on other things as his missing girlfriend, even if his heart was still broken.

*****
 
The next morning just 5 member came to the kitchen to eat breakfast. “Who goes looking for Chansung?” Taecyeon asked and looked around. Minjun was the one to stand up, feeling responsible since he was the oldest. He silently stepped into Chansung’s room and found the youngest still sleeping. The sight broke his heart. It was clearly visible that Chansung had cried last night and he held a slightly crumbled photo in his hands. Minjun couldn’t see it, but it was sure that it was very important to Chansung, since he held it tight to his chest. He was sure that Chansung never before looked that fragile and vulnerable.
“Sleep well and get better, Channie…” he whispered and softly over Chansung’s cheek. The younger flinched but continued to sleep, so Minjun left his room. “He’s still asleep. I’ll let him since our schedule isn’t until 3 hours from now.” were his words as he entered the kitchen again. There was an unisono sigh from everybody.

But around an hour later finally Chansung came out of his room. “You look like , man”. Wooyoung words were harsh, but he hugged the taller one comfortingly and ruffled his out-of-bed hair. The corner of Chansung’s mouth lifted slightly, before he went to the fridge to get something to eat. Wooyoung and Taecyeon, who were still at the kitchen, watched him as he put his food on a plate and sat down on the table to eat. A little smile spread over Chansung’s lips as he started to eat.
“So food actually does make him happy.” Taec sighed and left afterwards with Wooyoung following him. “Oh, if you just knew…” the youngest whispered into his food as his hyungs had left.


“So, are you willing to eat again now?” Sangmi asked as they left Chansung’s room. It just had been half an hour since their confession. “Mh, if you’ll cook for me.” he grinned and she just laughed and headed to the kitchen to cook for her boyfriend. “You’ll definitely have to eat more!” she said and put some ingredients onto the kitchen counter. “Just think about me when you’ll eat!” Sangmi winked at him and began to cook. Chansung sat down on at the kitchen table, following all her movements with a lovely stare. “Do you want me to get fat and ugly? If I’ll think about you everytime I’ll eat, I’ll love food as much as you. And maybe it will have a side effect. Like… I’ll just eat to think even more about you?” They both laughed heartily. “You’re doing too much sports and also your metabolism is great, so you’ll won’t get fat. And even if, I’ll still love you~”


And it was true. Chansung didn’t get fat, no matter how much he ate. If food was around, he automatically had Sangmi’s smiling face before his inner eyes. He wasn’t happy because he ate, he was happy because of her. Even after she disappeared, everytime he ate he thought of her. So it got his habit to eat to remember every single moment with her. It was hurtful but he couldn’t stop. He still needed her, even if she was gone.