warning: innocent bath scene, a bit of ual humor(?) only a teeny tiny atomic bit tho! like come on, theyre guys they have these jokes 70% of the time lol oh and lots of dialogue bc meh

Taehyung sighs for the fifteenth time for that hour, hastily wiping his cheeks when he hears a knock on the door.

"Come in," he breathes to compose himself.

Taehyung is surprised when he sees a frowning Seokjin enter, eyebrows creased and eyes red-rimmed, with shadows on his face making him look very restless. Maybe Seokjin really was very restless.

Taehyung cast his head downwards in guilt, evading eye contact and only watching each of the older's steps as he approaches him who was sitting slumped on the bed.

"Taehyung? Hey," he greets, voice gentle as always but raw in the way that the owner of the name called could figure as crying one's throat out. He must sound the same if he talks now.

"Are you okay now? Don't lie, please," Seokjin starts his interrogation, lips pressed together tightly and jaw tense. Taehyung sighs his sixteenth.

Taehyung was honestly really just exhausted from everything that happened but he could never find it in himself to ignore Jin, he realizes, as he finally locks his eyes with Seokjin and gives him a weak smile.

"My head hurts, hyung," he admits. Seokjin looks more worried and alarmed as possible. "My stomach hurts and my whole body.." The older panics, did the doctor lie to him about Taehyung being stable?

"..is aching for your love,"

"God damn it, Taehyung." Seokjin spat, face flashing irritation before fading into genuine concern. He rubs a hand to his forehead. Taehyung laughs.

"I was so worried, you idiot." Seokjin breathes, relieved before dropping his hand and unconsciously making a pained face, "I couldn't sleep,"

Taehyung purses his lips, keeping himself together despite the constricting of his chest and the familiar weight crawling its way back to his throat. He caused so much inconvenience, he caused so much disappointment. He doesn't deserve to even feel bad. "Sorry,"

"Don't be," Seokjin's tone is reassuring, now sitting on his bed and facing the younger. "I just need to know if you're alright now,"

Taehyung nods but his head stays lowered after, rendering him unable to see Seokjin reach his hand out to him but taking it back half-way.

"I see," Seokjin instead pats Taehyung's thigh. "You're still not alright,"

And as if Seokjin turns on a tap, Taehyung eyes starts to water and he cries, "I'm sorry, hyung. I'm-" he manages to croak out weakly, gripping his blanket a bit too firmly, "I'm really sorry that I messed up,"

Taehyung lets his tears just flow, "It's all my fault. I disappointed our fans. I disappointed them all, hyung. I disappointed you guys. I am such a disappointment." he rants, bringing his hands to his face. "It's all my fault. I'm a mess. I'm sorry,"

Seokjin sighs and leans forward to ruffle Taehyung's hair, "Hey, Tae." he calls the younger softly, "I want you to look at me,"

Taehyung shakes his head and buries his head deeper in his palms, "You saw me. I look like ."

"You know you don't."

Taehyung drops his hands down to his lap, all the while looking solemn, "..You're right. I know I don't look like . But i feel like ."

Seokjin rolls his eyes before cupping the trembling Taehyung's cheeks to make him look at him. "I want you to listen to what I say very well," he orders before running one hand through Taehyung's soft hair. The younger nods meekly.

"It's not your fault, Tae."  It's my fault. Seokjin's mind whispers.

"It was an accident. Nobody is at fault." Except me.

Taehyung frowns, sensing something wrong, "Hyung, I-"

"Shh," Seokjin shushes him. "Just rest and recover, okay? That's the best you can do for our ARMY."

Taehyung makes to reply but Seokjin is already on his way out of the room. The older turns the knob before turning to look at him a last time. "I'll be back. Sleep well, okay?" And he's out the door, leaving a confused Taehyung alone.

If only I wasn't so selfish. I would have noticed.

Seokjin sighs, back pressed to the door and hands gripping the ends of his shirt forcefully until a gruff voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

"Stop it," Yoongi who was beside him clad in a hospital gown says, irritated. "It's stupid."

Seokjin arches an eyebrow, "Excuse me?"

Yoongi scoffs, "Stop pitying yourself. It's painful to watch." he rolls his eyes. "You're not the only one suffering here, okay? It's pissing me off."

"So you're saying," Seokjin feels a headache forming and his jaw clenches, "That I can't be angry with myself that you two got sick and discontinued the concert even if I'm at fault? Why-"

"Because you aren't!" Yoongi snaps. "You aren't at fault! Can you even hear yourself? You're not making sense! We're sick and what the does that have to do with you?!"

"Suga hyung..." Jimin, who was beside Yoongi all along, tries to calm him. Seokjin's patience was wearing thin.

"Jin hyung, don't ever reason that it's your fault just because you didn't ing notice we were sick at first." Yoongi jabs his index finger to Seokjin's chest. "Jimin didn't notice at the start, too. But can you blame him?"

Seokjin doesn't reply. Jimin whines in protest.

"Right. You can't. Because he doesn't have anything to do with us being sick. The same goes with you. It's all my fault that our stomach hurt and that we disappointed our fans. You have nothing to blame yourself with so ing stop. It's stupid." Yoongi backs away. "And stop looking at me and Taehyung like that or I'll gouge your eyeballs out. I've had enough pity to last me a lifetime." he threatens before storming past the older. Jimin sends him an apologetic smile before choosing to follow the mint-haired's tracks.

Seokjin stands still, guilt still eating him. Because, seriously? How can he not be at fault? He was always the first to notice. It was his job to always make sure the members are always well. It was his job to observe if something was wrong and then fix it before it blows up. It was his responsibility to take care of them and he neglected that responsibility just because he couldn't look the two in the eye without lashing at them because of his jealousy.

He was so immature. So what if Taehyung chose to go on a date with Yoongi on Christmas instead of him? So what if Seokjin was too sissy to ask Taehyung to hang out with him before it was too late? So what if Taehyung and Yoongi entered the dorm, smiling like they had real fun that they never could get with Seokjin? It's not like they meant it to hurt him and make him jealous. But of course he had let his emotions get the best of him and failed to do his duties well.

"Oh and Jin hyung?"

Seokjin turns his head to see a blank-faced Yoongi who came back to say something more.

"You're not our mother. So please stop being hard on yourself."

--

There was a rhythmic knocking on the door and Taehyung's smile appears because he knew exactly who the visitor is already. No one would be normal enough to knock in his door with tune of their recent song RUN. Especially Suga hyung's rap part. Except one person.

"Hi, hyung. Are you my doctor for today?" Taehyung greets Seokjin in a childish voice.

Seokjin humors him. "No, I'm your mom. Drink your medicine, son. It'll make the pain go away."

"But it's bitter!" Taehyung whines.

Seokjin snorts, "What are you? Four?" Jin rolls his eyes, putting their impromptu act to a stop and placing his plastic of snacks on the bedside table.

Taehyung pouts, "I don't feel great,"

Seokjin hums, unbelieving, he trusts the doctor when he said that Taehyung's fine, unhurting and will be discharged later. "Which part of you is sick?"

"Well, not sick. Just lonely. My lips are kinda lonely," Taehyung puckers them for emphasis, "Would yours like to meet mine?"

"My fist is kinda lonely, too." Seokjin deadpans, "Would your face like to meet it?"

"Ah, no thank you," Taehyung grimaces at the horror the memories of Seokjin's clenched fist bring him. "Is that for me, though?" he points at the plastic bag Seokjin was currently rummaging in.

"For you?" Seokjin arches an eyebrow. "I'm already offering you my very sincere and very exciting company yet you still ask me for my food? Don't you think you're pushing it?"

"Pushing? So you're saying.." Taehyung gasps, bringing a hand to his heart in mock-hurt, "I didn't know food is more of a priority than me, a sick person. I thought I was important."

Seokjin just  grins, "Here," The older hands him a pack of chocolate cookies, "Stop being so dramatic,"

 "No, It's okay." Taehyung refuses, "I like strawberry milk and cookies but I would rather have you. "

"You're so gross," Seokjin groans, opening the package and taking one for himself. "Have you finished your water?"

"I haven't." Taehyung purses his lips, "But I'm getting there..?"

The older glares at him, "Yah, you want to recover fast but you don't do what you have to do?!" he screams.

"Jin hyung," Taehyung tries to calm him, "Please don't shout at me. I'm sick."

"And you're not doing anything to make yourself better," Seokjin scolds while pouting, his cheeks full of food. Taehyung internally squeals at the adorable sight of his hyung. The younger cups Seokjin's cheeks.