Finally

Jimin's Struggle

Jimin left the room in an angry cloud.  The more he walked, the less angry he became and the more depressed he felt.  It seemed like everything he had worked so hard to fix had come back to slap him in the face.  All the energy he had used to think positive had been wasted.  For the first time in months, Jimin was beating himself up.  He let thoughts like “I’m fat” and “I’m ugly” penetrate his mind without a fight.  Tears streamed down his face as he walked out of the hotel and into the busy streets of Hong Kong. 

He didn’t have anywhere to go, so he just started walking.  He didn’t know where he was going, or how he was going to get back, but he didn’t care.  His thoughts overwhelmed him.  He couldn't hear the noise of the city around him.  Blinded by his tears, he stopped in an abandoned street alley.  He leaned his back against the cold brick wall.  The chilly December air helped to clear his head, but the shame was weighing down on him more than ever.  He closed his eyes. 

 

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Yoongi looked all over the hotel, but he couldn’t find Jimin.  He asked the lady at the front desk.  She said he left about ten minutes ago.  Yoongi frowned.  Where would Jimin go?  He didn’t know anyone here, he couldn’t even speak to anyone!  For the first time in a long time, Yoongi felt afraid.  Anything could happen to Jimin. 

Yoongi ran back up to his room, where all the boys were still softly discussing their plan.  He didn't bother to knock, bursting throught the door.  His expression immediately captured the others' attention.  Yoongi never looked flustered or scared, but now he did.  Everyone panicked.  Yoongi told them what he had discovered.  Namjoon paced nervously.  Hoseok began to cry; Taehyung couldn’t comfort him anymore.  Jin spoke urgently. 

“We need to get people looking for him.  Who knows where he might go or what he might do…” 

 

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Jimin wasn't sitting in the alley very long before he loud voices caught his attention.  They didn’t scare him; they were only children's.  He could tell they were coming closer because they were getting louder.  The more Jimin listened, the more concerned he became.  It sounded like angry voices, almost like yelling and angry words.  He opened his eyes and looked towards the other end of the alley.  Sure enough, a croud of children were there.  They appeared to be no more than 8 years old, but there were quite a few of them.  They all carried backpacks, probably on their way to school. 

Jimin’s attention was drawn to one boy of the group.  He was different than the others.  He was not slender, but he couldn't be called fat.  He had round cheeks like his own.  Jimin couldn't help but find him adorable.  His cute little eyes and nose made Jimin smile.  Suddenly, one of the other boys shoved the cute kid to the ground.  All of them seemed to gang up on him.  The biggest boy started to kick dirt and dust into his face. 

Well, Jimin couldn’t just sit there. 

“Hey, stop!  Stop it!” 

He ran towards the kids, yelling at them.  They were all frightened.  They hadn’t known he was there, and they couldn’t understand what he was saying.  Shoving each other, they ran away, leaving the cute kid in the dust.  Jimin thought about running after them, but he stopped when he reached the lone boy.  He was covered in dust, and he looked up at Jimin with a scared expression. 

Jimin knelt down and smiled.  “Hi,” he said in Mandarin.  He offered his hand.  The little boy took it hesitantly.  He was not as scared anymore.  Jimin helped him up and brushed the dust off his clothes.  He knew he couldn't say anything to the boy, but he wished he could.  He should have been a better student in school... 

Well, it was the boy's turn to surprise Jimin. 

“Mr., who are you?” 

Jimin's eyes widened.  The kid could speak Korean. 

“How do you know Korean?”  

The boy smiled. 

“I am from South Korea.  My family moved here two years ago when my father found a good job.” 

“I see…” Jimin pondered.  He grinned because the boy was even cuter up close. 

“Excue me Mr., but you still haven’t told me who you are.” 

Jimin smiled.  

“Oh, you’re right.  I’m sorry, my name is Jimin.  What’s yours?” 

“Seun.” 

“Well Seun, may I ask you why those boys were being mean to you?” 

Seun’s face fell when Jimin brought it up.  He shuffled his feet while he answered. 

“They tell me I’m fat because I have round cheeks.  And they say I’m ugly because I’m not Chinese like they are.” 

The boys sniffed and Jimin could see his eyes tear up.  He got on his knees so he was eye level with Seun. 

“Listen, I know it hurts, and I understand, you know how?” 

Seun shook his head. 

“Because people have done that to me before.  They told me I was fat because of my cheeks too.  See, we have the same cheeks.” 

Jimin placed his hand on his cheeks and made a goofy face.  The boy’s eyes lit up, and he giggled.  Then he did the same thing back.  Jimin smiled. 

The boy seemed to become sad again. 

“But they won’t stop teasing me.  I want my cheeks to go away.  I wish I was like them so they wouldn’t hurt me anymore.” 

Jimin could feel himself start to tear up.  But he kept his voice comforting and strong. 

“Seun, let me tell you something.  You’re not fat.  Do you think I’m fat?” 

“No” Seun shook his head. 

Jimin continued. 

“And we are the same right?” 

Seun agreed. 

“So that mean you’re not fat either!” 

Seun smiled, his little mind processing Jimin’s argument. 

“But they think I am…” 

Jimin took a hold of the boy's little hands. 

“They are wrong.”

At that moment, everything was clear to Jimin.  All the things he just said to Seun he should have been telling himself.  It was the truth, he knew it.  He felt a tear role down his own face. Seun saw the tear, and his face suddenly became concerned, his eyes widening. 

“Mr., are they mean to you too?” 

Jimin couldn’t speak.  The lump in his throat choked him.  Seun placed his little hands on Jimin’s cheeks and looked him in the eyes. 

“You are not fat either, so we are the same.  They are wrong.”

Jimin felt more tears escape his eyes.  Seun’s words penetrated his heart, even though they were a repetition of what he just said.  Hearing them from someone who understood meant more than anything else, even if it was from a 8 year old.  The boy’s heartfelt emotion seemed to free Jimin from the evil thoughts and emotions that consumed his mind.  He smiled brightly through his tears. 

“You’re right Seun, thank you.” 

The boy smiled wide. 

“You’re welcome!” 

Jimin stood up. 

“Now, you better head to school so you aren’t late.” 

Seun nodded. 

“Yes sir.  Thank you for helping me.” 

“No Seun, thank you.” 

With that, they bowed and parted ways.  Jimin watched the little boy run away towards his school.  He would never forget him. 

 

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A/N:

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't updated lately.  I've been so busy finishing up school and working, by the time I get home I'm so exhausted!!  Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  The next chapter will be the last one.  Let me know what you think in the comments! 

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Comments

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ma_qiaoli
#1
Chapter 8: going to read taetae's fic now while preparing my feels :)
ma_qiaoli
#2
Chapter 8: This was really beautiful and well-written! I teared up at some parts because it hurts to read about chimchim's feelings about him being 'fat' (which he never is lol he's beautiful and more smol and adorable than me) but I loved how this fic felt like reality to me. It was melancholic, but I absolutely loved how it ended :) I wish I could show this fic to everyone with eating anxieties so they could know how much they are loved just for the way they are huhu ;-;
chewychoc-o
#3
Chapter 1: WOW! I LIKE THIS
Jinsoneandonly #4
Definitely ;)
johncenaisbae #5
Chapter 3: Sometimes I think it is your goal to make me cry