Two days later, Jimin was released from the hospital.  The IV had brought life back to Jimin’s complextion.  He was still thin, overly so, but he was healthier.  He walked out of the hospital with strict orders.  Three meals a day.  Must keep the food down.  Jimin cringed when the nurses told him to eat.  He knew that his brothers would be watching him all the time, and that he wouldn't be able to get away from them anymore.  There was a part of him that was angry, yet another was grateful.   

Over the next few weeks, Jimin was faced with many challenges.  All the boys made sure Jimin ate well and kept it down.  They were determined to help Jimin, no matter how much he hated it.  A few times, he tried to get to the bathroom after eating, but his hyungs were quick to catch on, especially Hoseok and Namjoon.

A few days after being released from the hospital, Jimin sneaked into the bathroom when his other hyungs weren't looking.  He locked the door behind him.  He knew he shouldn’t do this, but he felt so disgusted by the food in his gut.  He had to get rid of it. 

Before Jimin could get to the toilet, Hoseok was banging on the door.

“Jimin, open the door, NOW!” 

Jimin was frightened by Hoseok's violence.  He froze for a moment before kneeling in front of the toilet.  He had to, he just did.  Otherwise, he would get fat.  He couldn't let that happen.

Just as Jimin lifted the seat, there was a loud crack.  It scared Jimin.  His head whipped around to see what had caused it.  The doorknob lay broken in half on the floor.  Hoseok burst into the room, a hammer in his hand.  He had broken the doorknob just to stop him!  Hoseok dropped the hammer.  Jimin was frozen for a moment, shocked at what his hyung had done.  Then his emotions kicked in. 

“Leave me alone!” he screamed.  “I can’t, I can’t be the fat kid anymore!” 

Jimin quickly turned towards the toilet, attempting to stick his fingers down his throat. 

But Hoseok was fast.  He grabbed Jimin, pulling his arm away from his mouth, and yanking him back from the toilet.  Jimin screamed in rage.  He struggled to be released.  By this point, Namjoon and Jin had made their appearance.  Jimin clawed at Hoseok's arms, drawing blood in desperation.  He screamed like a mad man.  His hysterics frightened all of them.  But Hoseok would not let go.  His brother needed his help, no matter what. 

Namjoon and Jin helped Hoseok hold Jimin down.  Jimin’s violent fit ended once all three boys were holding him.  He knew he didn’t have a chance anymore.  Defeated, he burst into tears.  The boys loosened their tight holds on Jimin, but he didn’t try to fight anymore.  He lay on the bathroom floor, surrounded by his three hyungs.  He knew they were only trying to help him, but he was desperate.  He didn’t know what he needed to stop.  It was overwhelming!

The three others took a deep breath.  They had stopped him, that was all that mattered.  Jin noticed Hoseok's bleeding arm. 

“Hoseok, you should probably take care of that.”  He nodded towards Hoseok's arm.  He seemed to notice it for the first time. 

“Oh, uh…”  Hoseok's voice trailed off.  The sight of his own blood made him squeamish.

 Jimin was still in hysterics.  He couldn’t control his crying.  He covered his face with his arm, not knowing what to do. 

“I…I…I can’t, I, please, no… Hoseok hyung, please… I can’t!  I can’t!” 

Jimin reached for his hyung, who ignored his wound when Jimin called for him.  He took Jimin’s outstretched hand in his own. 

“Yes you can, I know you can.  You are strong Jimin.  You will get through this.  I’m here for you, we all are.” 

Jimin’s tears flowed freely.  He attempted to sit up, but got dizzy from all the crying and hysterics.  He would have fallen back on the floor if Hoseok hadn’t caught him.  He let Jimin’s unconscious form rest against his chest, supporting his weight and brushing his hair off his tearful skin.  He cared so much for Jimin.  Namjoon   and Jin observed the way Hoseok held Jimin.  They knew those two had an exceptional bond, one that would never be broken.  They couldn’t have been closer if they were real brothers. 

********************

All the boys went on high alert.  They realized just what Jimin was willing to do, and they had to be strong to stop him.  It was painful for the others to think about having to hurt Jimin, but if they couldn’t stop him any other way, then they would have to. 

The first week was rough.  Jimin tried a few other times to sneak away, but he never got as far as the first attempt.  The boys didn’t understand what Jimin felt to be like this.  To Jimin, when he ate the food, it felt like a stone in his stomach.  He felt sick and shame poured over him  Thoughts like “ You’re going to get fat." and “Nobody will ever love you if you get fat." ran through his mind at every meal.  Sometimes Jimin would actually cry while he ate.  The boys noticed, but they didn’t know what to say.  Sometimes Hoseok would place a gentle hand on Jimin’s shoulder for comfort.  He appreciated it, but it didn’t help much.

The others decided the less they talked about the issue, the better.  If they drew attention to it, Jimin would have a harder time letting go.  So the boys made a special effort to do things together.  The made sure to include Jimin in everything they did.  For Jimin, it did help a little, sometimes.  There were moments when he wouldn’t be depressed, and would actually forget about his problems.  Of course, then meal time would come again, and he was back to the dread and despair. 

After two weeks, the boys noticed a change in Jimin.  He had become much quieter than he usually was.  When he was starving himself he seemed happier.  He still exercised and practiced for hours without resting, but he didn’t speak anymore.  His smile wasn’t seen for days at a time, and when it did appear, it wasn't the same smile they had known before.  All the boys were frustrated over what to do.  They didn’t want Jimin to become depressed, but they couldn’t let him starve himself.  They were at a loss. 

Around the third week of recovery, the boys were sleeping peacefully.  It was the middle of the night, and they had a concert the next day.  This would be their first concert since Jimin’s incident.

Taehyung was sleeping in his bunk, hard as ever.  But for some reason he woke up.  He never woke up.  He opened his eyes to the darkness, wondering why he was awake.  There was no sound, no movement.  He sat up and looked around.  Everyone seemed to be sleeping fi… Jimin was gone. 

Becoming wide awake, Taehyung slipped out of bed, careful not to wake the others.  He didn’t know if he should or not.  He walked over to Jimin’s bed just to make sure.  There was no one to be found.  Taehyung silently made his way to the bedroom door and out into the hall.  Carefully shutting the door behind him, the first thing he did was look towards the bathroom.  It no longer had a lock on the doorhandle so Jimin couldn't attempt anything.  But the door was wide open and the light was off. 

 Taehyung entered the living room.  At first, he didn’t see Jimin on the couch.  Movement caught the corner of his eye.  Taehyung jumped like a cat, trying not to yell.  It took him a second to realize it was Jimin.  But Jimin hadn’t expected Taehyung to react like that; he couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Taehyung, your face, you looked so frightened!”  

Taehyung chuckled nervously, embarrassed at being scared so easily. 

“I didn’t even see you there!  Were you trying to scare me?” 

Jimin grinned.  “No, but if I had I couldn’t have planned it any more perfectly.” 

Taehyung smiled.  Jimin actually sounded like himself again. 

Taehyung motioned to sit down, and Jimin moved for him.  He sat cross-legged on the couch with Jimin by his side, knees tucked up to his chest.  Neither spoke.  Taehyung rested his head back against the couch.  Jimin stayed curled up, staring at nothing.  Taehyung decided he wouldn’t say anything.  He would just sit there with Jimin.

“Taehyung, why are you awake?” 

He looked over to Jimin. 

“I don’t know.  I was sleeping fine, and I don’t think you woke me.  But I suddenly woke up, wide awake.  I saw you weren’t in bed, so I came out here to look for you.” 

Jimin didn’t say anything.  He stared at the ground.  Taehyung relaxed back into the couch.  After another unknown amount of time, Jimin spoke up again.  

“Taehyung, I can’t do this anymore.  I feel like I just want to curl up and die.” 

Taehyung looked at Jimin, who didn’t look at him.  He could tell he was crying.  His voice was shaky and his breathing was loud.  Jimin continued.

“You don’t understand, I don’t expect you to.  But every time I eat, I feel so guilty.  It’s like I’m sinning, committing some great wrong.  This horrible feeling washes over me, and I feel sick.  I try not to think about it, but I don’t think I will ever be normal again.”

Taehyung was quiet, contemplating what to say.  Jimin looked at Taehyung and saw his deep expression. 

“What are you thinking?” Jimin asked.  

Taehyung met his eyes. 

“I’m thinking I understand more than you realize.” 

Jimin was quiet.  Taehyung stared at his hyung, deciding whether or not he would share with him.  He decided it would be best, so he began. 

“Hyung, I went through a hard time myself.  It was two years before we debut.  I was just starting to train with the boys.  I was 16.  Everything was so foreign to me.  I had never tried dancing before, and although I could sing, I had never taken vocal lessons.  There were so many demands placed on me, so much pressure to perfect everything.  It was hard.  I ended up finding a way to cope, but it was the wrong way.”  

Taehyung switched on a lamp next to the couch so Jimin could see him clearly.  Then he stood up.  Without saying a word, he pulled down one side of his pants to reveal his hip and upper thigh.  At first, Jimin had no idea what he was doing and felt very uncomfortable.  But when Taehyung motioned for him to look, he saw what he was supposed to. 

Taehyung had scars.  They were deep, deeper than normal scars.  Each were only a few centimeters in length, but they were noticeable.  It looked like someone had repeatedly reopened the same wound, making the scars worse each time.  Jimin looked at his dongsaeng.  Taehyung gave his hyung a sad smile. 

“I would use a sharp piece of metal I had found.  It seemed to be an escape, a way to forget about the pressure.” 

Taehyung fixed his pants and sat back down. 

“It helped for a while, but pretty soon it consumed me.  If anything went wrong, the need to harm myself became so strong I couldn’t control it.  Jin found me one time in the middle of the night, kinda like this.  I was beyond sanity, recklessly destroying myself.  I was a bloody mess, and probably scared poor Jin half to death.  But he helped me hyung.  He told me how much I meant to him, that he would be my friend no matter what.  Then he stayed with me, and kept me accountable for my actions.  It was hard for a while, but he helped me escape from those horrible chains.  So I am determined to help you Jimin, because I do, to a point, understand.”

Jimin was shocked to hear about Taehyung’s dark past.  He never would have guessed he had done something like that.  Of all the boys, Taehyung had the highest morals and self respect.  How had he fallen so far?  But what amazed Jimin most was that he overcame his problems.  He was able to recover.  Maybe there was hope for him too.  Jimin let his tears stream down his face. 

“Taehyung, please help me!” 

Taehyung smiled wide. 

“Of course!” 

He rested his arm on Jimin’s shoulders. 

“You and I, we’re brothers after all.  We're going to get through this, together” 

Jimin felt a sense of relief flood his heart.  He was so thankful for his amazing brothers and all the support they gave.  He knew if he didn’t have them standing by his side, he wouldn't be able to overcome.