How To Kill Your Friend—Get Rid of Ghost 101 by Tao

Midnight Madness

"I'm home!" Luhan announced on top of his voice as he entered the huge mansion. His voice echoed off the four corners of the living room as his eyes darted all around in search of familiar faces of his friends. He found nothing, but the empty living room though.

"Hello?" Only the wind answered his call, and it was starting to creep him out of how silence the house had became especially since it was already nearing midnight. Not to mention, the house was surprisingly still intact despite harboring their school's two notorious pranksters for the whole day. He half-expected for the house to be reduced to ashes by now, and he will be welcomed home by a squad of firefighters instead. He chuckled at the thought as he ascended the stairs.

The three-storey mansion had seven bedrooms altogether, excluding the reading room and the piano room. Luhan's room was situated at the farthest end of the hallway on the third floor, and he will has to walk past Kyungsoo's and Joonmyeon's room to reach it. As he turned right after walking past Joonmyeon's room, he nearly tripped and fell on his face.

"What the —" He halted mid-words, and gasped loudly. "Baek?"

"Well, hello there. A little help here if you please?" There was no other words to describe the said male else than he looked intensely annoyed. But, what piqued Luhan's interest was the strange position the former was in on the floor with a certain tall male.

"What happened here?" questioned Luhan as he tried his best to surpress his laughter. He dutifully obeyed though when Baekhyun insisted on helping him to escape first.

"I'm going to kill that Kim Jongdae!" was Baekhyun's first word when he was finally released. There was a murderous glint in his eyes as he grounded his teeth together while throwing away the stupid net that had been trapping him with Park Chanyeol for the past few hours. "Wake this idiot up, would you? I have someone to throw off a cliff tonight." He gestured towards the snoring Chanyeol before making a move to head downstairs.

"Whoa, hold on a second there, Mister Byun." said Luhan while grabbing Baekhyun's arm. "Nobody is throwing anyone off a cliff tonight before you tell me what exactly happened here. We left you for barely a day, and you've already decided to get chummy with this?"

Baekhyun responded with a glare. "Hell no! It was all that Kim ing Jongdae's doing. There had been some sort of a blackout earlier and we were all stumbling in the dark so Minseok and I decided to split and start a bloody hunt for some candles. This two scaredy-cats got so terrified of the dark that they won't leave us alone so I had to drag this one while Minseok took the other one. Long story short, this idiot right here bumped into me and we fell into Jongdae's trap. And then, the power just had to come on at the most terrible timing ever, and I was forced to face this ert's ugly face all the time!"

Luhan blinked once, twice.

"So.." Luhan trailed off, a smirk suddenly blooming on his face. "In conclusion, are you indirectly telling me that you were having the time of your life, and I just ing ruined that perfectly timed moment?" He instantly placed a hand over his heart, and faked a sympathetic look. "Oh, I'm so sorry, my dearest friend. I didn't know, if only you have told me way earlier. Would you like for me to undo my mistake and return the both of you to your previous position? I would be more than happy to oblige for you, sweetie. Come, come, let me just get that net first--"

"Haha, real funny, Lu Han." Baekhyun interrupted, looking plainly unamused.

Luhan only laughed in response. "My apologize, Your Highness. I just couldn't resist."

"Shut up, Lu."

"You got it, Mister Byun."

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, and huffed loudly. "Come, and help me strangle the daylight out of that Kim ing Jongdae instead."

"How about him?" Luhan unwillingly gestured towards the tall brunet sprawled on the floor.

"Leave him. If he's lucky enough, the ghost that he was fussing about since yesterday will drag him away to their lair." Baekhyun snorted at the mere thought before pulling Luhan along to head downstairs. He didn't waste any time to march right ahead to the second floor, where his target's room was located.

"Tao!" shrieked Luhan when they bumped into the said male on their way to Jongdae's room. The latter obviously just arrived home judging from the direction he was coming from, but for some strange reason, he was tiptoeing as he made his way to his room. When he heard Luhan's loud shriek though, he immediately became very still as if he just got caught breaking into a national's bank.

"I wasn't on a date just now." Tao blurted out as Luhan eagerly approached him. That certainly got Luhan's brows rising higher than his forehead if that was even possible before realisation - or more like false assumption - slowly dawned upon him.

"I knew it!" Luhan exclaimed loudly as he instantly rushed forward to envelope Tao into a bone-crushing hug. "It's about goddamn time for you to get laid, my little panda, and I'll take whatever it is even if your partner is an overgrown, ugly dragon and a friend of that piece of little !"

"The —"

"Hush, hush. I just need you to know that there's absolutely no need to be ashame of your status. There's nothing wrong with being one so you should embrace it, my child."

", you're a too!"

Baekhyun's palm made contact with his forehead as he witnessed the two bickering back and forth to prove who's the best between them. He was so going to murder both of them if they won't shut up in the next three seconds. One, two, thre—

"How about you, y?" Baekhyun instantly jumped on the spot, clutching his heart as if it might fall off any moment from now. He whipped his head around so fast he saw stars circling around his head before fixing his gaze on the bloody intruder. It was Park. ing. Chanyeol. How he woke up so fast when he had been snoring away almost the entire time they were trapped together, he had no idea, but he knew for damn sure that his to-kill list just got longer in the span of a few seconds.

"What about me?" Baekhyun hissed. "And when did you wake up anyway?"

Chanyeol shrugged nonchalantly. "Just now." He inched closer to him until their faces were barely an inch from each other. "Are you a too?" He was so close that Baekhyun could smelled the smell of kimchi in his breath.

"You better stay the away from me, you dim-witted bloody because I'm telling you, your breath stink like hell." Baekhyun said slowly before he abruptly shoved the other away. "And really, that's none of your bloody business."

"Oh, but it is." Chanyeol replied in a strange tone as he stared at Baekhyun with a creepy grin plastered across his face. 

Baekhyun mustered his most murderous glare before pulling Luhan and Tao in the direction of Minseok's room despite the two's loud protests. Chanyeol quietly trailed after them, the smile not faltering even once. When they burst into the room, they found Minseok and Jongdae hurdled over something at the far corner of the room. Since their backs were facing them and they were positioned so closely together, they were unable to see what was attracting the two's attention, which immediately attracted their attentions as well. Luhan made a beeline towards the two first before the rest followed except Chanyeol, who simply stood at the doorway.

"What are you doing?" Tao spoke up first as he towered over the occupants of the room. 

"Shh." Minseok hushed them without looking.

Tao gasped with a hand on his heart. ", did you just shh shh me? Oh, I can't believe this. First, that stupid-looking Kris Wu with his oh-so-conveniently-executed plan, and now even you? I'm going to have to perform an exorcism to remind you all who's in charge here—" The dramatic poor lad never got to finish his words though as he was abruptly shoved to the side by an absolutely pissed off Byun Baekhyun.

"Kim ing Jongdae, you're so going to die in my hands tonight." Baekhyun spat with a malicious glint sparkling in his eyes like some bloody sportlight. "Dieeeeeee!" He cried out as he wrapped his fingers around Jongdae's neck from behind. That was when chaos ensued as Minseok jumped in to prevent a possible murder from happening while Luhan fell backwards when he accidentally got in the former's way. His fall sent him toppling over Tao since the other was standing right behind him, and both of them rolled over until they nearly ended up under the bed.

"Tao, stop feeling me up, you ert!"

"I did not—Hold on, was that your that I just touched? Euw! That's some real nasty, most placid object I've ever touched, and that's saying a lot!"

"H-Help!" Jongdae's strangled voice came out in between the noise. ", this.. guy got s-some strength."

"He learned judo before he even knew how to talk." Minseok explained - talk about a bad timing - as he tried his best to wrestle Baekhyun from strangling Jongdae to death. "Baek, stop! You're going to kill the idiot."

"Normally, I-I'll take offense on that, but I'll.. let it past just once today so get him.. the off me!" Jongdae urged as he choked even more. He could feel himself getting dizzy from the lack of air, and his labored breath was drastically slowing down.

"I'm trying!" Minseok was sweating from all of the effort as he attempted to pull Baekhyun's hands away for the nth times. The latter didn't budge, and he might as well try pulling a huge mountain instead. "Oi! Little help here if you please!" He yelled towards the two bickering idiots near the bed.

Tao and Luhan stopped fighting at once, and stared at Minseok as if he had grown another head. Then, they slowly exchanged a look with each other before they eventually scrambled to help the latter. Well, after Minseok yelled at them for the second time anyway, and he may or may not had threatened to slit their throats with the dullest knife he could find.

"Jeez, what's wrong with you, Byun Baek?" Luhan panted as they joined force to pull the mad boy from the nearly suffocated other. But, Baekhyun was clearly not listening. In fact, despite his sudden surge of strength, the boy appeared to be not aware of his surrounding and seemed rather dreamy instead. Well, dreamy with a hint of raging madness anyway. It was almost as if he was.. possessed! Luhan came to the same conclusion almost at the same time, and his eyes widened comically.

", did he get possessed?" Luhan gave up his hold on Baekhyun's arm, and crouched next to the latter instead. He grabbed the other's face, and forced it to face him, causing Baekhyun to end up in the weirdest position ever which could only be possible if you were ever possessed by a ghost before he began squeezing the possessed boy's cheeks and moving it all around. "Baek, do you hear me? Are you there? Do - you - hear - me?"

"Possessed?" Tao's immediate reaction was to jump as far away as possible from Baekhyun or hid in the closet. He did both, but poked his head slightly from behind the closet's door. "There's ghost.. here?"

"You do know.. a closet is usually the f-first place a ghost will appear from in.. horror movies, r-right?" Jongdae choked out in spite of the receding light in his eyes. His words successfully made Tao jumped out of the closet though, and he rushed forward to hide behind Minseok instead. He figured that if the ghost ever got bored of Baekhyun's lame body, and suddenly decided to leave in search of a new victim, Minseok might be just the one to act as a human shield for him. (Let's keep this as a secret between us and not tell him that though.)

Minseok instinctively rolled his eyes. "Shut up, you idiot. It will only make it much harder to breath."

"Damn, he's really possessed for good!" declared Luhan.

"Don't you think I know that?" Minseok snapped back. He was right though. At this point, it was no brainer that Baekhyun was indeed going through some sort of spirit possession from the way he was not behaving like himself. Not to mention, the surge of strength that he had despite being held back by three very healthy boys was definitely inhuman. Minseok was actually much more concerned about Jongdae, who was gradually turning blue. "He's turning blue." said Minseok anxiously as he kept on trying to pry Baekhyun's hands off.

"Oh crap, this is not good. Someone go and get some holy water or something!" 

"I-I'm dying.. Tell my parents that I l-love them."

"You're not dying on me, you prick!"

"Google! Yo Tao, get your phone out and start googling how to stop this , you lazy !"

"Oh? Oh! Google, right, Google—Wait, how do you spell exorcism? Is it c or s? Oh , I didn't finish typing yet and EXO came up. Oh wow, this one's a total hottie."

"Huang ing Zitao!"

"D-Dying here.."

"Oh, right, on it!" Tao began typing furiously with lasers practically shooting out of his eyes as he read all of the results at an incredible speed. "Alright, I found one! Well, at least this one seems decent enough compared to the other bulls—"

"Tao, hurry the up!"

"Alright, alright, grumpy much. First, say this out loud and wave your hands around on top of the victim's head." Tao looked up from his phone, and stared expectantly at Luhan. "Well?"

"Fine." Luhan bedgrudgingly positioned his hands on top of Baekhyun's head.

"Say out, out, you go, oh ghostie daisy prissy." instructed Tao with an unnecessarily dramatic voice. "Out you go, and disappear you from this poor soul's body. Yes, you, you, you!"

Luhan glared at the taller male. "Are you sure that's what it says?"

Tao gasped with an offended look. "Of course! I'm not a bloody repulsive, manipulating liar! That's what it says here eventhough I have no idea what's the connection between ghost and daisy. Is it supposed to mean that all ghosts like eating daisy?"

Luhan rolled his eyes in response. He huffed loudly, and began doing as instructed.

"Oh, and don't forget to do it ten times. It says here the ghost should be out even before you can count nine or eight for the more lucky one."

Luhan muttered - or more like cursed - incoherently under his breath, but he dutifully obeyed the instruction. However, nothing changed even after he completed the tenth round of doing the ridiculous act. Baekhyun's hold around Jongdae's neck remained strong as ever, but thankfully, Minseok had managed to pry off several fingers so Jongdae wasn't as suffocated as he had before.

"It's not working." said Minseok dryly. "Maybe we should go and find some daisy instead."

Tao frowned. "But, it should work! Oh, nevermind then. It says here that it happens sometimes and here's another way to get rid of the ghost."

"What is it?"

"Well, aren't this one a wild one?" Tao whistled appreciatively. "It says here that ghosts are scared of people so you should definitely.. strip in front of it?"

"Next." Luhan deadpanned.

"B-But, it says here that this method works the best—"

"Next." Luhan narrowed his eyes, a hint of underlying threat lacing his voice. The message is pretty simple ; you insist on that and you're dead.

"Fine." Tao scrolled down the article, and instantly guffawed. "Aha! This one is an easy one. They ought to put it as the first of all instead!" He abruptly stood up, and placed himself right behind Baekhyun. With one swift movement, he hit somewhere around Baekhyun's nape before the latter immediately collapsed on the floor. 

"Oh, thank goodness!" Jongdae breathed in relief as he rubbed his sore neck. "Like ing finally. You took so ing long that I swear I even saw my dead grandpa just now."

Luhan blinked. "What the—What did you do?"

"It's nothing." said Tao dismissively. "It's just a little trick that I picked up during my wushu lesson. He will be knocked out cold for a few more minutes, but he's perfectly fine."

"No, I meant what about the ghost?"

"Oh, it's probably gone by now," Tao tapped a finger against his chin with a thoughtful look. "—I supposed."

"Tao—"

"I don't know, okay! It says here to go ahead and feel free to knock the stubborn little out instead if all of the above still won't work." said Tao defensively while cradling his phone against his chest. "Oh, and there's a little tip from the article. Get a bottle of insect repellent and apply all over the victim's body to discourage the spirit from getting near him/her again."

Minseok furrowed his brows. "Are you sure you are reading it right?"

"Of course!" Ignoring the rest in the room, Tao began craning his head all around in search of any visible insect repellent before finding it hidden inside of the opened closet. He quickly rushed towards it before coming back with the insect repellent already in hands.

"Whoa, whoa, you're not seriously planning on using it on him, right?" Jongdae interrupted while gesturing towards the unconscious Baekhyun. "Dude, even I'm not that crazy when it comes to my friends."

"He's certainly not." said Luhan firmly before snatching the bug spray away, earning a loud whining from Tao.

"But, Luhan—"

"No."

"It says here—"

"Tao, no." Minseok also warned.

".........."

"Where in the hell did you find that article anyway?" Jongdae questioned with a raised brow. "Sounds like a whole lot of crap to me."

"Well, that crap saved your life!" Tao snapped back before turning towards Minseok with puppy eyes. "Are you sure we really can't—"

"Tao, we've been through this just five seconds ago and it's still a no."

"B-But, don't you think we should at least spray him with just itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny amount of the bug spray? You know, just to be.. safe?"

A sudden groan instantly made all heads turned as they fixed their gaze on the previously unconscious male.

"Where am I?" Baekhyun croaked as he grabbed the back of his neck. There was this deep, throbbing pain there, which he had absolutely no idea why it was even there in the first place. "And, why in the hell did I feel like I just got run over by a truck, and then, the driver backed up and rolled over me again?"

No one said a thing for one short, terrible moment as they looked at each other, communicating solely through their eyes. The general idea was it would be unlikely a good idea to reveal the truth towards someone who just went through such a horrifying experience, right? Luhan, being the good friend he is, was the first one to act upon this fact.

"Oh, look at the time!" He abruptly commented while making an exaggerated act of checking out the clock on the wall. "I didn't realise it's already so late. It's nearly 1 in the morning already! We've still got school tomorrow, don't we? How about we all head back to our room now, shall we? Baek, you should go with—Wait, where's the giant freak?"

Tao furrowed his brows. "I swear he was there just seconds ago." He muttered as he stared at the empty doorway.

"Nevermind then. Come, Baek, I'll take you to your room." Luhan quickly helped the other up, and guided him out of the room before he was able to question anything. There was no way in hell he was going to let Baekhyun walking around unaccompanied after what just happened, but the other didn't have to know about that. 

Once they reached Baekhyun's shared room with Chanyeol though, Luhan nearly dropped his jaw to the floor because of what was waiting for them. Much to his surprise, a certain tall male was already peacefully snoring away on the large bed with a huge Rilakkuma stuffed toy snugly nestled against his broad chest. It wasn't until Luhan stormed into his direction and began shaking him like crazy that he began to stir and looked up at them with droopy eyes.

"What?" He questioned with a hint of annoyance and drowsiness.

"How long have you been here?" 

"Since forever?" mumbled Chanyeol incoherently, obviously on the edge of drifting back into dreamland. "I crawled into my room not long after you guys left me, which is so not cool by the way, if that's what you meant."

"Weren't you with us at Jongdae's and Minseok's room just now?" Luhan popped out the question hesitantly, feeling the hair on the back of his neck standing up all of a sudden. 

"I don't know what are you high on, but I have no idea what are you talking about, you weirdo." Chanyeol shot him a judging look in between his drowsy state. "I can barely open my eyes right now so do you really think I want to leave this warm, and comfortable bed? Think again, you uneducated carrot!"

Luhan gulped, feeling the cold shiver running down his spine. Baekhyun, who had been listening from the side, instantly furrowed his brows. 

"That's a whole bunch of bull. You even talked - or more like trying to flirt - to me before that." Baekhyun pointed out.

"I do fancy flirting with you, princess, but not today. I'm feeling really ty right now because of those ty pills they gave me this morning, and I could barely keep my eyes open for long. That is strong as I'm telling you." 

"Oh, stop the lies, Park Chanyeol." argued Baekhyun as he joined the said male on the bed. He pulled the Rilakkuma stuffed toy away from the other, and began hitting him with it.

"I'm not lying!"

"Yeah, right. I must be the foolest person on earth if I ever believe anything that comes out of your filthy mouth."

"My mouth is not filthy!"

"How would you know that?"

"Like this! Ha, ha, ha!" One thing for damn sure, Chanyeol was long past his drowsy state as he lunged forward, and struggled to position his face near Baekhyun's so he was able to exhale in the other's face. He figured the best way to prove his mouth's cleanliness was by letting Baekhyun smelled the rotting flesh smell fresh odor.

Meanwhile, Luhan stayed rooted to his spot with his gaze fixed on the two. He eventually grew tired of watching the two wrestling each other on the bed while spouting nonsense towards each other so he quietly slipped out of the room, and made his way to his own room. As he ascended the stairs though, he couldn't shake the thought of what just happened earlier. Chanyeol's words kept on rewinding itself in the back of his mind, and he found himself trying his best to come up with a logical explanation for it, only to no avail. A sudden thought brought him back right to this morning's event, where Chanyeol and Jongdae had insisted that they had saw something - that shouldn't have ever been seen by humans - yesterday. He shuddered at the thought, and without a second thought, he immediately broke into a run towards his room. 

 

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QianRenXin
I'm so sorry for the super duper late update, but it's been crazy hectic in my life lately that it's almost impossible for me to come up with something to present to u guys. I hope u guys do forgive this lacking author of yours. T_T

Comments

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Missanion
#1
Chapter 9: What? So...Chanyeol sleeped the whole time since they left them with Minseok and Baek? WHAT? Did the ghosts take his form ? Or was he possessed since the beginning? ? Where are the others?
Missanion
#2
Chapter 8: I feel sorry for Yifan. He seems to be quite afraid of Tao and not as anoying as his friends. He is big and tall but helpless haha.
Kyungsoo is the bravest of them all.
Missanion
#3
Chapter 6: Chanyeol exposed Jongdae 😂😂. What a good friend he is
Missanion
#4
Chapter 5: Hahaha this chapter was really funny. Tao and Yifan's relationship will change from here. Same goes for Baek, Yeol, Dae and Minseok.
Missanion
#5
Chapter 4: Who is that supposed 'gardener'?? It is strange that Siwon didn't mention him at all. And Kyungsoo dear, it is not very smart from you to follow a stranger alone in the dark, in a placer you don't know.
Missanion
#6
Chapter 3: I love Jongdae hahaha.
Missanion
#7
Chapter 2: Why would they even agree to go there for an inheritance coming out of nowhere from someone unknown to them? ? They didn't even question the fact that the unknown person asked for them specifically? When they are not related at all? ? That should had sound a little bit fishy ,shouldn't it? ?
shennlingg
#8
Chapter 18: I really like this fic! But since it has been a long time since it's been updated... I feel the need to ask: is this already cancelled? It's not an indirect or something to make you update right now but I'm just asking so I don't wait in vain... 🥹
Missanion
#9
Chapter 1: It is interesting. I want to know who the 2 figures are.
Missanion
#10
I like The crack part, not so sure with the horror but I will give it a try.