"."

"........."

"."

".........."

"Douchebag."

"Done yet?" Kris finally lifted up his face, and stared into the other's fuming face. 

"No!" yelled Tao while banging his hand on the table. "Of course not, you stale ham sandwich of a human! What do you take me for, some ruddy hoe you could mess with whenever you want? I think not!"

"What do you want me to do, Zi Tao?" said Kris tiredly as he slouched even more in his seat. He distractedly stirred his drink in a slow motion while staring at his own hands. "I've apologized for the umpteenth times already."

"Yes, but you started a new chain of a whole new level of monstrosity by asking me that horrendous and the most absurd request I've ever heard of in my entire life!" argued Tao heatedly while fanning himself. His face was a clear expression of are-you-ting-with-me-right-now.

Kris nearly dropped his jaw to the floor. "Have you always been this dramatic?"

"How dare you! Did you just indirectly implied that I'm a drama queen, an insensitive one on top of that?"

"Actually, I'm stating it rather than implying." interrupted Kris. "There's a difference."

Tao gasped, mightily resembling a typical K-drama ahjumma at the moment. "Oh, the disrespect! Haven't you learned of your manners, young man?" (Yepp, definitely typical K-drama ahjumma it is.)

Kris massaged his temple, already foreseeing an incoming headache. "Look, all I ever ask is for you to just pretend to be my lover while we're at school so my fangirls would leave me alone. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I'd really rather be gay than being ually harrased at every given opportunity, thank you very much. You just so happened to be standing there while I was being chased down by those rabid girls earlier so I had no other choice, but to make up my mind fast and chose you. Not to mention, we're living under the same roof for the moment so that's definitely a bonus point."

"Bull." spat Tao. "There's other people too around me at the time, but just - why - it - had - to - be - me?" Tao nearly growled at the other as he gripped tightly onto the poor table.

"Well, you were the only one who was facing.. me?" said Kris hesitantly in a tiny voice.

"I'll ing slap you to Africa." Tao deadpanned.

"But—"

One look from Tao, and it was enough to stop Kris from continuing further. The poor lad heaved a loud sigh as he lowered his head with defeat, looking wildly disappointed but unable to do anything since Tao was glaring daggers in his direction. Slowly, he pushed his chair back noisily, and rose from the table.  Without a single word, he began walking towards the counter to make the payment. (If you're curious why he is paying for Tao like a good boyfriend, the latter was so furious earlier that he had threatened to skin Kris alive, but he barely managed to calm the guy down by offering to buy him some cakes.) He kept his head down all the way, and fixed his gaze upon his shoes even as he came into a halt, and queued up behind a petite lady in red dress, unable to shake off the dread originating from the sheer thought of having to face his rabid fangirls all over again tomorrow.

"Kris oppa!" Kris looked up faster than you could blink an eye, and visibly gulped at the sight of two girls approaching him. 

"What are you doing here?" The shorter one greeted him as she eagerly latched onto his arms. Oblivious to Kris' growing discomfort, the other mirrored her action, and Kris ended up of getting sandwiched between them despite his much taller stature.

"Umm.." was all that Kris managed to get out before he was rudely interrupted.

"Are you all alone here?"

"Poor you! Would you like us to accompany you? We don't mind, don't we?"

"No, of course not—"

"MOVEEEEEE, ES!" There was a loud commotion as someone suddenly shoved the two girls away from Kris, sending them stumbling onto the floor. Surprised, Kris instantly looked down to see the owner of a pair of strong arms that had suddenly sneaked its way around his own, only to find Tao glaring with distaste at the two girls scrambling to get up on the floor.

"Tao?"

"Stay away from my man, ." Tao warned while looking at the girls dead in the eye. "You ever come near him again, and I'll make sure I'll send you flying to North Atlantic this time."

Feeling intimidated by the male's furious glare, the girls knew better than to hang around. They quickly muttered a quiet apology, and scurried out of sight as fast as they can. That left Kris with a stunned look on his face there as he openly gawked at the other.

"Tao - what - I thought you—"

Tao huffed, and turned to look at him. "Not - a - word." Then, he was off after hurriedly releasing his hold on Kris' arm.

"Wait!" Kris struggled to detain him as it was finally his turn to pay, and the cashier was looking at him expectantly. "Here's the cash. Keep the change."

"There's no change.." said the cashier as he looked at Kris weirdly. But, Kris wasn't listening as he took off the moment the money exchanged hands. "Kids these days."

"Tao, wait!"

"Go away, Wu."

"B-But, are we like together together now?"

"I said not a word!"

~~X~~

Now, you might be wondering if Kris and Tao ended up at a cafe because of Kris' quick thinking, where in the hell are the rest of their stalkerish friends? The answer is..

"Where are we?"

"For the umpteenth times, we're in detention and it's all your fault!"

"Why is it my—Who the throw a ing ball to my head?"

Luhan's hand shot up first. "I did! Why? You've got something against that, valet boy?"

Jongin grumbled under his breath, and threw back the ing soccer ball back towards its owner. Sadly, it didn't hit any of Luhan's important arteries since the guy was infamous for his athletic skill.

"It's ballet, not valet, idiot." interjected Sehun lazily from behind, where he was sitting with crossed arms while looking boring as ever.

Luhan rolled his eyes. "That's the joke, you head."

"It's not even funny."

"You want to see something funny? I can always shove your head up your ."

"Oh, shut it, you two." Joonmyeon interrupted frustratedly. "We won't be here in the first place if it wasn't because of your endless bickering."

"In my defense, I'm a newly transferred student that is still struggling to even remember my way around this place so how am I supposed to know that the science lab is a highly restricted section, and you get a month's detention if you even get near it?" said Luhan defensively.

", you moved here like a year ago." Sehun deadpanned. "There's no way in hell you still can't find your way around unless you have a memory span of a goldfish, that is."

"Do not insult my intelligence, Oh Sehun. I'm obviously way smarter than you ever will, dickhead."

"Wanna bet?" Sehun argued heatedly.

"I'll bet I can slap both of you into next week if you won't shut up." Kyungsoo interjected. That certainly shut them up real quick.

"Are we seriously going to attend detention everyday after school from now on though?" Yixing suddenly piped up from where he was seating at the back of the class.

"Yeah, dude." Jongin answered with a sigh.

"Awesome!" Yixing exclaimed before he started clapping like a seal. The rest instantly whipped their heads around to stare at him with a judging look.

"Mental this one, I'm telling you." Luhan whispered towards Kyungsoo, who was sitting at the table right next to him.

"Not as much as you are." Kyungsoo retorted back.

"I'm hungry." whined Jongin as he slumped his whole upper body onto his table. Since he was seated at the front side of the class, it gave the rest quite a clear view of his backside when he edged forward in his seat and caused his shirt to raise even higher and higher than the Empire State.

", ain't nobody want to see that!" shrieked Kyungsoo loudly as he immediately slapped a hand across his eyes while his free hand threw whatever that he could reached towards the shameless male. It just so happened to be Luhan's ball, and it went flying right into Jongin's head.. yet again.

"I'll ing throw this off the window the next time it landed near me again!"

"Oops."

~~X~~

After three torturous hours of being locked up in detention, the teacher eventually released them for the day. But, not without reminding them of their impending punishment in days to come. That was the only time they were ever in complete sync with each other as they groaned in unison.

Afterwards, they immediately separated, and went on their respective ways despite living under the same roof. Kyungsoo even went as far as to take the farthest way home by riding a bus that was going to the completely opposite way before transferring half-way through the journey. Ironically, he ended up as the first one to arrive at the mansion since Luhan disappeared the moment they stepped out of school while Joonmyeon had to stop by at his house to meet his father. (Let's not even try to ask him where is the rest of his other housemates.)

The huge mansion seemed awfully quiet at the moment, and there was no sight of Siwon's car in the garage. Kyungsoo halted after walking past the iron gates, reluctant to enter the house just yet. Instead, he began heading towards the backyard instead. His feet instantly brought him to the small house, where the supposedly gardener lived. 

"Hello?" Kyungsoo called out while inching closer towards the wooden door. He knocked once, twice, but no reply came. "Is anybody home?"

"Obviously no." The sudden voice that appeared from behind him nearly made his heart leapt out of his throat. He turned to glare at the intruder, instantly recognizing the voice as one belonging to a certain dickhead when he recovered his wits.

" off." Kyungsoo snapped as he met eyes with none other than Kim Jongin himself.

Jongin, being the dramatic queen he is, instantly gasped while placing a hand over his heart. "How dare you? You don't even own this place!"

Right, thought Kyungsoo bitterly, but that won't stop him from coming up with a witty answer.

"Why are you even stalking me in the first place?" 

Jongin gasped even louder if that was even possible. "I did not—Stop giving me that look!"

Kyungsoo, who was currently giving a shrewd look in the other's direction, nearly laughed out loud in response out of pure amusement, but he was quick enough to mask his emotion. Instead, he snorted loudly and rolled his eyes.

"How about no, Mister Stalker? " Kyungsoo retorted back, emphasizing the last words out of spite.

Jongin opened his mouth to argue, and he honestly looked ready to give the shorter one a piece of his mind, only to close it back with an exasperated look for Kyungsoo had chosen that exact moment to completely ignore him. The wide-eyed male spun his whole body around, and began marching ahead towards the small house before letting himself in. Would it even surprised you that Jongin quickly scrambled to follow suit? I guess not. The idiot was obviously too dumb to take a goddamn hint that Kyungsoo was trying to escape from ever being left alone with him.

"What the is this place?" said Jongin first as he scrunched up his face with disgust. The place was fairly decent, but it was obviously far from being as impressive as the main house. There was also this unpleasant smell lingering in the air the moment you stepped inside.

It was Kyungsoo's turn to look exasperated. "Why are you even still here?"

Jongin looked up, and blinked a few times.

"Oh, right." He snapped out of his daze, and shrugged. "I have nothing else to do."

"And you just have to decide to honour me with your presence?" It doesn't take a genius to sense the thick sarcasm lacing Kyungsoo's words, but as you can see, Kim Jongin in one hella thick fella.

"Yeah." He said off-handedly as he snooped around the place. "You should be bowing your head with respect by now."

There was a clear expression of disbelief on Kyungsoo's face as he trailed his eyes after the other's every movements. His moment of disbelief was stopped short though when Jongin suddenly let out a high-pitched scream as he unceremoniously fell on his .

"Help!" shrieked Jongin while looking up at him with wild eyes. 

Despite that, Kyungsoo was far from being convinced. He simply narrowed his eyes, and stayed rooted to his place. (Ladies and gentlemen, this is what happened when you have a reputation of being a drama queen.)

"What? Did you find a goddamn mirror or something?" questioned Kyungsoo while rolling his eyes. "It's about time you realise just how unattractive you are in contrary to your trash talk about being the reincarnation of Zeus all of this time."

"Hey! I take offense on that." Jongin glared at him. "And it's Perseus, not Zeus, you uneducated cabbage."

"Whatever." said Kyungsoo as he reluctantly made his way towards the other. When he saw what exactly the other was so terrified of though, he nearly considered of smacking the male on the head with a chair.

"Get rid of it!"

"It's just a rat." Kyungsoo retorted back. "A small one on top of that." He added as he observed the tiny creature scurried off somewhere out of their sight. 

"Gross!" whined Jongin. "Look at those tiny feet a-and those furs and whiskers! Especially the whiskers!"

"I'll keep in mind that you'll love a rat's whiskers as your toothbrush in the future." taunted Kyungsoo, earning a constipated look from Jongin. "Hold on a second." Kyungsoo suddenly noticed something peeking out of the bundle of clothes nestled closely towards where the small animal first appeared. He reached out and pried off all of the clothes before grabbing the object hidden underneath all of those mess.

The action attracted Jongin's attention as he immediately quietened down all of his whining, and scooted closer to take a better look. He peered over Kyungsoo's shoulders, and instantly furrowed his brows when his gaze fell upon the object. It was a framed picture of a small family consisted of the parents and their two children. The little girl looked no older than six, and she had her much older brother's arm wrapped around her shoulders. Meanwhile, the parents hovered over the two with bright smiles while hugging them from behind. 

"Who could this be?" pondered Jongin.

Kyungsoo didn't answer right away. "This one.. is the gardener of this house." He finally said while pointing at the little girl's brother. Despite being slightly younger in the picture, Kyungsoo recognized the sharp features of the gardener just fine.

"How would you know that?" Jongin raised a questioning brow. "Wait—we have a freaking gardener? Why not a butler as well while we're at it?"

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, but opted to ignore the comment. Instead, he brought the frame picture closer to inspect it more carefully.

"Where in the hell is this so-called gardener then? Doesn't he has work to do around here? Seriously, who in the hell hired this lazy ?" Jongin blabbered while craning his neck around in search of the said male.

"He's just a part-time worker so he's not always here." explained Kyungsoo without looking. "He looks pretty young when I met him last night and I think he's probably a college student so he should still be in class now." 

"Is he hot?" prompted Jongin all of a sudden.

Kyungsoo snapped his head around so fast he nearly broke it before shooting a judging look towards the taller male. "The —what kind of question is that?"

"Well, you obviously need to get laid, and that gardener might be just the one." replied Jongin. He smirked, and there was a mischievous glint sparkling in his eyes. 

At first, Kyungsoo became very still and only stared back at him. Then, there was a loud smack! smack! sound resounding all over the place.

"Ow!" Jongin rubbed the sore spot while glaring at the satisfied-looking male. "That hurts!"

"Good." Kyungsoo deadpanned before shifting his attention back towards the framed picture on his lap. Strangely, the picture attracted him like a moth to a flame. He just knew somehow that there was more to it than meets the eyes, and that certainly peeked his interest. Not to mention, the instant he saw the little girl, he immediately had this nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he was missing something terribly important right now. It was as if he was trying to complete a puzzle, and yet, a crucial piece of it had gone missing so he was struggling to locate its whereabout.

"You know what," Jongin suddenly interrupted his train of thought. "I'm tired, hungry, and I ing stink so I'm leaving your sorry here."

"Should have done that way earlier." muttered Kyungsoo under his breath. Thankfully, Jongin didn't hear him since the latter was too busy standing up with a great deal of noise.

"By the way, if your boyfriend comes home later, tell him I say hi."

Smack! Smack!