“Sorry .. for kissing you the other day.”

Mark closes his eyes and bites his trembling lips hard. He was about to going out from the locker room but heard a companion next to Jaebum. He doesn’t want to disturb them because he knows this is the moment – where the librarian ask Jaebum to be his boyfriend. Mark feels a sharp pain inside of him – heart – when he knows Jinyoung kissed Jaebum. He never kiss those lips no matter how tempting and hard to resist it.

“I’m disappointed. You just have a little crush on me when I’m totally fall in love with you.”

Mark holds his breath and his tears. He is definitely losing his princess, his Jaebum, his- He sighs when he couldn’t even say Jaebum belongs to him when he never have a gut to confess – how much he loves his bestfriend. But Mark is afraid of losing everything and he cannot fight for his right, just like now. So he leaves the bag at the entrance and leaves using the other door.

“You look bad.”

Mark ignores his roommate, Bambam and pulls his blanket to cover himself completely. He doesn’t have time for any or any mood for anything. He has been living like a zombie (but he makes a hot vampire though). He barely alive along this week after what happened outside of the locker room. He guess that Jaebum is dating the librarian, who turns out to be his classmate in one of Mark’s subjects. He never knows about that since he isn’t an observer unlike Jinyoung. When Jinyoung approached him just to ask about Jaebum, he just feel his fist was ready to fly – but the wings were broken.

“Where’s Jaebum ? I don’t see him this week.”

Mark never shares his feelings with anyone but Jaebum because he never feels as comfortable as with Jae including his roommate. Though they both foreigners, Bambam is a diva guy. He does give a good advice but Mark doesn’t have time with his sassy-ness and high-confident level.

“Suit yourself. Just don’t die here.”

Mark could hear the sound of door closing before moving back his focus on the small screen of his phone. He feels dumb for watching their videos and pictures together but not as dumb as he let Jaebum slipped off his fingers. Jaebum indeed called him countless times but Mark is being Mark. He is afraid he couldn’t put a nice-friend face anymore. He is happy that Jaebum is happy but his heart is dying so bad. He smiles when he hears all of those voicemails that Jaebum sent and the message videos.

“I’m so stupid, Jaebum .. I should confess to you so you won’t be anyone’s but mine. I’m a jerk.” Mark sighs.

“Yes, you are.”

Mark surprised to hear a voice and quickly sits up, throws the blanket off him and found Bambam leaning against the door. Mark is quite sure that he heard Bambam left. Perhaps he pretends to be. Bambam looks at him with his usual judging face and arms crossed on chest.

“How many times are you going to shut him out and replay all those videos ? He is not dead yet.” Bambam said.

“I’m not shutting him out ..”

“Seriously ? Where is the flirty Mark that I know ?” Mark raises an eyebrow.

            Since when I’m being flirty ? He thought.

“Don’t give me that look. I know you aren’t that type but you easily, so flirty infront of public with Jaebum. You have the guts to do it but not saying ‘I love you’ at all ?” Bambam shakes his head lightly.

“I just doesn’t want to lose him.”

“Yeah but whatever you’re doing right now is exactly opposite of what you objective is. Before you regret this in 5 years- it. In 5 minutes, 5 hours later, you will regret it for not fighting for him. At least, let Jaebum decide which side are you; friend or love.” Mark sighs.

“I can’t.” Bambam frowns.

“Suit yourself. Don’t act too sad when you’re the one who choose to lose him.”

Bambam walks out from the room for real. Mark never share his feeling with Bambam but anyone could see how deep has Mark fell in love with Jaebum. The whole school noticed it but them both. Whatelse could be the reason the school thought they are lovers if it wasn’t because of their actions ? Mark sighs and ruffles his hair. He is fragile but Jaebum is more so. He clicks at the latest voicemail and he is definitely feel extremely bad for what he did to his Jaebum.

“Mark .. Did I do wrong ? I’m sorry if I did anything that you hate but I really don’t know what is it. Please answer my call, at least. You never shut me out. You promise to be with me always. So where are you now .. “

The voicemail ends and Mark starts to hate himself. He gains as much courage as he need to call him back. Jaebum was crying because of him. Jaebum is getting hurt because of him. His own promise is broken by him.

“Jae ..” Mark hears a sniff.

“Where the heck are you ?”

“Let’s meet in the café.” Mark suggested.

“No.”

“Rooftop then.”

“No !” Jaebum rejected.

“…. I’ll see you in the rooftop.”

Mark ends the call without further do. He quickly changes into a better looking and gives himself a pretty good slap as a wake-up call. He walks to the rooftop but Jaebum is nowhere to be