*Chrysanthemum symbolized a dead person in Korea if I’m not mistaken. And the ‘dropping/putting the flower’ part was inspired by Bookmark’s very own choreography; looking like they’re waiting for the dead.

2 years before Mijoo moved into her new place.
 

Mijoo was hugging Soojung who was crying because of her who was distanced. Honestly, Mijoo would love to cry along with Soojung because the latter’s confession was exactly what Mijoo felt for her as well. She too actually started liking Soojung way back before turning 17, which she didn’t know exactly when. But Mijoo was certain she liked Soojung so much by the way how she was jealous at the books that Soojung spent time with rather than her.

And it was just a book, not even a human being.

Just as she was still hugging Soojung, Mijoo spotted with her eyes the same store she went to purchase or precisely hand-making a gift for Soojung before from across the road. Without hesitation, she broke the hug as she slyly flashed her smile at Soojung before recklessly started running to the main road to cross and get to the store.

It frightened Soojung at the sight that Mijoo ran towards the main road recklessly and it made Soojung’s breath almost taken away when she witnessed how close a car speed up at the main road towards Mijoo and almost crushing her friend’s body.

“Yah, MIJOO-YAH!” Soojung wasted no time to think anymore as her body responsively ran ahead towards the main road as well. The only thing occurred in her mind that moment was just to SAVE MIJOO.

Soojung actually meant to crush her body into Mijoo to the ground together but the car was almost too close to Mijoo that Soojung didn’t think twice but to push Mijoo ahead to the ground until the car actually bumped into Soojung’s body that her head hit hard with the front window and blood splashed right then and the window glass cracked. Soojung’s fallen back to the ground and the last thing she saw before closing her eyes was that unconscious Mijoo from the other end also head filled with blood.

Soojung thought her time ended right then.

*

Opening her eyes slowly, trying to adapt her view with the sickening lighting right above her at the ceiling, the first person Mijoo recognized came greeting her sight was Seo Jisoo. Mijoo noted the red eyes of Jisoo but did not ask her why she had been crying.

“Where am I?” Mijoo asked with her weak voice. She then moved her eyesight to look around her and noticed her surrounding was so white; almost looked like a hospital.

Hospital!

“Mijoo, do you remember anything?” Jisoo asked with somehow hoarse voice and right then Mijoo confirmed Jisoo had been crying. Mijoo wanted to say she remembered but she didn’t exactly remember actually what had happened to her.

“We’re in a hospital. You almost got into an accident!” Jisoo slowly told her after receiving no reply or response from Mijoo. The latter girl knitted her eyebrows in confusion.

Right! Mijoo remembered crossing the road to get to a store but a car was coming her way. After then Mijoo didn’t know what actually happened but she guessed of course she got hit by the car, what else explain the wrap bandage on her head. But Jisoo said she almost got into an accident which was strange to Mijoo.

“Almost, you say?” Mijoo’s talk was almost a whisper that Jisoo had to focus totally on her. The bedridden girl also remembered before she crossed the road, Soojung was with her and she felt intrigued to ask Jisoo about her love friend. “Where’s Soojung?”

Jisoo was unable to give Mijoo any promising answer. She was afraid if she said it, Mijoo would lose her sanity right there and Jisoo would be more helpless. When Jisoo’s lips were quivering like she was about to say something, the ward’s door opened and Mijoo’s assistant class rep, Jiae came into her vision.

“Mijoo, you’re awake?” Mijoo spotted Jiae’s eyes were exactly in the same condition as Jisoo. “Why are you guys here with me? Where’s my family?” Mijoo’s eyes frantically searching for her parents and sister but none of them were caught anywhere near in her sight.

“Mijoo, you have been unconscious for three day…” Jiae’s response did not answer to her question and Mijoo felt she’s raging up. “Where’s my family? Where’s Lee Soojung?”

Jisoo saw Mijoo’s body was acting up like to say she was mad that her question left unanswered, thus Jisoo decided to stand closer towards Mijoo before gripping on her shoulder and cupping her face afterwards. “Mijoo, you have to be strong…”

Mijoo shut and her heart began to beat rapidly in anxiety. “Soojung is gone. 15 minutes ago…”

Silence, breathless, tension, all sorts of the negative things rose up in the situation. Her mind couldn’t comprehend with Jiae’s words, it’s like her brain was shut off. “What do you mean?” She shifted her glance to Jisoo from Jiae. “Jisoo-yah, what did she mean by gone?”

The said girl almost broke down at Mijoo’s reaction. “Mijoo-yah, Soojung had been in comatose for three days like when you were unconscious, until 15 minutes ago. Soojung is not in this world with us anymore!”

Her heart felt like had been torn by sharp knife, dug over and over again. It was so suffocating, the feeling. It was hard for Mijoo to accept the painful truth when her relationship with Soojung was in the verge of reconciliation. The fate was so cruel towards them, and unfair.

“Your family is with Soojung’s mother right now. She fainted when she heard about the news!” Jiae added with her shaking voice, following Mijoo’s steps to cry.

No wonder she hadn’t seen her mother, father and sister, because they were with Soojung’s only guardian, her own mother who’s in shock after receiving her daughter’s death news. Who wouldn’t be in the same state when your only family left, your precious daughter passed away before her mother? Mijoo couldn’t imagine how awful Soojung’s mother must have felt when she’s already so vulnerable.

“Soojung-ah…” A soft sniff turning into a hard sob when Mijoo felt like it’s too unreal to know Soojung had passed away. Soojung, a friend from elementary, her best friend, her first love who taught her a lot of good things in the world and created many beautiful memories together, had gone from the world Mijoo was still living in.

Witnessing Mijoo’s vulnerable state made Jisoo felt worse. Right then, she was confirmed unofficially by Mijoo that the latter was still in love with Soojung despite dating her. Seeing Mijoo cried helplessly upset her more and Jisoo blamed herself for this thing to happen. She then went to hug Mijoo to comfort and coax the latter.

Meanwhile, Jiae felt it was more heartbreaking for her to stay in the room and watch Mijoo crying over her lost. Thus she decided it’s best to leave Jisoo and Mijoo alone and went to get to Soojung’s mother. After all, Soojung had been a friend Jiae looked after to once in a while.



After being left with just the two of them alone, Mijoo finally got to know the real story from Jisoo. It was believed that while Mijoo crossed the road so recklessly, Soojung ran ahead as well to save Mijoo and pushed her to ground but Mijoo’s head hit a brick hardly. Due to the impact, she went unconscious immediately and resulted to a wrap on her head. That information was according to the police.

However, because of her reckless action, Soojung received the hit from the car in her place and her life was taken away. Mijoo blamed herself more than anyone. “We just made up to each other…” Mijoo tearfully murmured and Jisoo heard her. Nobody could ever feel how regrettable Mijoo was feeling right then. Soojung was her best friend and they just got back in good term, Soojung even confessed her love but it was so cruel how the good thing was taken away from her in a blink of an eye.

Mijoo was the last person Soojung saw before the accident, and Mijoo couldn’t even see Soojung when the latter took her last breath.

Mijoo never felt so stupid and ty in her life.

*

Mijoo was allowed by the hospital to be discharged early just to attend Soojung’s funeral. Fortunately by the time she came out with the accompaniment by Jisoo and Mijoo’s sister, Soojung was still at her house before taken away, her ash.

By the time Mijoo arrived at Soojung’s place, the first thing she did was to kneel before Soojung’s mother. “I’m sorry, mother. I failed to protect Soojung!” cried Mijoo. Tears were flowing out mercilessly as Soojung’s mother sobbed so hard. She then hit Mijoo’s shoulder, like pushing her away to vent out her anger. Mijoo wasn’t exactly at fault, because everybody should know it’s just Soojung’s time to be taken away from the world. But she needed someone to blame on even for just a little while.

For Mijoo, she deserved the hit more than anything. Of course it was painful for her mother to watch her being hit by someone else, but Mijoo was willing to be hit many times, even if it hurt. “I’m sorry…” whispered as she sniffed more.

Surprisingly for her, it was only for a short time until she felt Soojung’s mother warm hug on her body. The both of them cried together in each other’s embraces. The scene was the most heartbreaking sight Mijoo’s family had ever seen in Mijoo’s life. It was the first time for them to see Mijoo wailing so hard in her life; probably because they understood Mijoo had a special connection with Soojung and her mother. No one could blame her.


It still didn’t feel real to Mijoo as Soojung was going to be taken away. As Soojung’s mother agreed when Soojung’s corpse was decided to be taken away and prepped for the funeral, Mijoo knelt still before her, refused to send Soojung away. As they were ready for the funeral, Soojung’s mother, close acquaintances, Mijoo’s family and Soojung’s other friends in school which included Jisoo’s classmates and journalist club members were preparing to tag along, but not Mijoo.

Mijoo’s strong denial and refusal were frustrating her family. And they decided to leave her alone like that except for Jisoo. The other girl was loyal to stay by Mijoo’s side anytime.

“I still can’t believe it…” whispered Mijoo as another lone tear escaped from her eyes. “Nobody does…even me,” responded Jisoo. The two weren’t looking at each other but the cold floor. Their minds were blank. But that was until Jisoo finally looked up at her supposed girlfriend. “But still, don’t you want to go see her, for the last time?”

It was a hard option for Mijoo; to see and not see Soojung for the last time before taken. With her untidy mind, she her hair messily and her hands went down to her neck. Jisoo’s last question hit her hard into realization.

She couldn’t stand not seeing Soojung for the last time.

It was so sudden for Jisoo when Mijoo suddenly stood up and dashed out to catch Soojung’s coffin.

“WAIT A MINUTE!” Mijoo’s loud shout successfully received attention from the people and they stopped their pace as Mijoo arrived by the people who lifted the coffin. “Can you please put that down for a while? Let me see her for the last time, please?”

Mijoo’s begging and crying weakened their hearts and eventually put down the coffin and opened it for her. Soojung’s cold and paled face made Mijoo broke down. She knelt and mourned for Soojung again. The next thing she did make the people around caught off guard.

“DON’T TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME PLEASE! LET HER BE WITH ME!” Mijoo cried and shouted as she attempted to shield Soojung’s body from being taken. Mijoo’s crazy act drew attention from everyone to the point that her father had to step up and drag her child away from the corpse. Mr. Lee then commanded to take the coffin away quickly before Mijoo did even crazier things.

Jisoo hurriedly went besides Mijoo’s dad and gripped the daughter for him. She then told Mr. Lee to go with the others and she would take care of Mijoo.

Mijoo struggled to be free from Jisoo’s grip who’s now hugging her from the back firmly. She shouted and did not stay still from Jisoo. She wanted to chase them and keep Soojung’s body with her but Jisoo was much stronger.

Mijoo cried helplessly and frantically shouting. “SOOJUNG-AH, DON’T GO! DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M SORRY!”

Jisoo cried with her as she held Mijoo in her arms even more firmly. Soojung’s mother shed more tears at Mijoo’s act. She understood the young girl’s feeling, but there’s nothing she could do to help. Soojung had gone and there was no way to undo that.

“Soojung-ah…” Mijoo eventually was exhausted and grew weaker at the end. Mijoo’s sister ran to her side to aid Jisoo and stayed with her sister.

Mijoo fainted just as soon in her sister’s arms.

*

The funeral went on at night until the next day. Soojung’s mother didn’t have that much relatives so most guests who came and gave respect were close neighbors like Mijoo’s family or Soojung’s friends. Mijoo sorrowfully sat not too far from Soojung’s mother and leaned her back on the wall. How did it feel like to lose the only family member she got left, Mijoo could never imagine but she could see death was waiting.

Even with the lost of Soojung got Mijoo literally a dead soul.

She refused to eat or even drink. Even Soojung’s mother persuasion was no use to her. She only wanted Soojung back in her arms.

Just as she was drowned in her thought filled with memories of her and Soojung since elementary, a girl suddenly dropped on her knees right before where Soojung’s picture framed placed at. It startled Mijoo as she wondered who that girl was which on the verge of crying out loud.

“Soojung unnie…” whispered the girl and broke down. It made Mijoo panicked but she didn’t know what to do until she saw Soojung’s mother stood up and coaxed the crying girl. “I’m sorry, my dear!”

That girl sobbed hard on Soojung’s mother shoulder as she said between her tears – “I couldn’t even get to see her for the last time…”

“Soojung wouldn’t like to see you crying, and so am I…” Soojung mother whispered back. Once at a time, Mijoo saw Soojung’s mother would kiss the girl on the forehead. Mijoo was still wondering the girl’s identity until she saw another person, a man around Soojung’s mother’s age knelt down beside them as well. “Soojung-ah…”

That girl was Yein, Soojung’s younger sister. They had separated since little when their mother and father decided to part ways and divorce. Yein inherited her father’s look a lot and even had his gene in terms of height as she was a lot taller than Soojung who took after her mother’s small figure.

There were too many times Soojung wanted Mijoo to see Yein but didn’t have the chance to since Yein stayed with her father in the States. It was hard for the sisters to contact each other and at the thought that Soojung didn’t get to see Yein before her last breath was heartbreaking for Mijoo.

Her lips quivered as she followed Yein to start crying as well, silently. At this state, Mijoo was sure she was going to cry every day.

*

Lovelyz – Bookmark

Mijoo started going to the library more often now after Soojung had dead. She neglected her netball practice and would just lean her back on the spot where she waited for Soojung every day before. What added to the difference for that routine was there was no more standing Soojung beside the bookshelf and read her books. Mijoo felt miserable.

Nobody would want to hear Mijoo’s problems, so she started to write diary on her own. Her relationship with Jisoo was an unsaid break up. No official statement or anything came out from Mijoo and Jisoo understood her. She was willing to let go even though Mijoo wasn’t going to start any other relationship other than with Soojung.

Diary,

How cruel fate is to be honest? I’m dying every day.
Soojung is gone and take my life away.

Diary,

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
We were so happy, then why did she leave me?

Diary,

Soojung had gone.
Yet here I am still praying she would come back to me.

There was no other place for Mijoo to wait for Soojung other than the library. It was the only place and Mijoo would stay there any time in hopes Soojung would see her.

She prayed Soojung wasn’t going to take her time too long until she came back. But the result was disappointing every time as Mijoo visited the library again.



After asking the students around, Yein finally found the person she’d been searching for in the library. They were right about Mijoo being sorrow in the library alone. Yein heard from them that the place was exactly where Mijoo was with Soojung while the latter was alive. It was painful to see that side from Soojung’s closest friend.

While Yein was cleaning Soojung’s room and her belongings to gather in one place neatly, she found several pictures of Soojung with a friend and Yein learned a bit later that friend was Lee Mijoo. She also discovered that Soojung and Mijoo had feelings for each other for more than just a friend but both were afraid to confess, according to Yein’s reading in Soojung’s diary.

Furthermore, Yein discovered more of Soojung’s belongings which somehow connected to Mijoo, and she had to read about it.

“So here you are…” Yein said after she finally found Mijoo who was sitting on the cold floor writing something in a book with tears silently flowing out from her eyes. Yein sympathetically seated beside Mijoo to accompany her.

“I’m Yein, Soojung unnie’s sister.”

It was an unneeded introduction from Yein to Mijoo. By the time she saw Yein approaching her, Mijoo already recognized who the younger girl was.

“I heard about you and Soojung unnie. And the accident…” Something tugged at Mijoo’s chest as Yein resumed speaking – “…mother doesn’t blame you. And so am I.”

Mijoo tried to smile in between her tears. It’s easy for Yein to say but Mijoo still blamed herself for that. Yein took Mijoo’s silent as a way the older girl let her spoke more. “Soojung unnie won’t like it if you keep this behavior!”

Sniffling before tilting beside her, Mijoo asked – “How are you so sure?” with her hoarse voice. The younger girl with a lone tear slowly came out from her right eye took out a book from her tote bag and gave it to Mijoo. The older girl was now holding the book in confusion.

“It’s the last gift Soojung unnie meant to give you.”

Mijoo frowned as she read the title of the book; ‘Finally I Fall in Love’. Judging from the book, it didn’t look too new or untouched because the plastic wrap had already been uncovered. When Mijoo flipped the pages of the book, she found a bookmark at a specific page. The top words at the page said – ‘and I fall in love with my best friend.’

Mijoo felt something stuck at that she almost couldn’t breaths in as she hissed to prevent her tears from falling again. It was a message from Soojung to let her know about Soojung’s true feelings. She then noticed the bookmark was the same bookmark Mijoo gifted to Soojung.

The one that Mijoo dropped in Soojung’s locker during recess and Soojung really made a good use of it. It was a handmade bookmark, the one that Mijoo personally made at the store she was supposed to go to when running towards the main road so recklessly. The bookmark was made by the way Mijoo designed it and contained her printed handwriting. Mijoo’s quote for Soojung said;

‘Romance will bring you to a whole new different level of feelings. So Soojung-ah, read some romance too, and not just about detectives!’

Anyone would break down at Mijoo’s state if they were in her place. Even Yein who didn’t feel as painful as Mijoo could relate to her since she loved Soojung just as much. It really she didn’t get to see Soojung before her sister passed away. Yein wiped away her remaining tears as she took out another book that Mijoo believed was Soojung’s diary. The older saw how Yein flipped the pages until it stopped at particular date Soojung wrote. Yein then handed the diary over to Mijoo.

Mijoo began to read the neat handwriting belonged to Soojung:

‘I stopped by at a bookstore the other day, and accidentally found a romance novel entitled ‘Finally I Fall in Love’. Then I remembered Mijoo’s advice telling me to read a romance genre and decided to give it a try.

I never knew how the book is so relatable with me and so accurate about how I feel. The plot was about a girl who learned about love when she finally realized how precious her best male friend is to her. The only difference it made between the girl in the novel and I was that my best friend whom I fall in love with…is a girl namely Lee Mijoo.

Mijoo taught me how to love. Thank you Mijoo-yah…I’ll give the book for her to read someday to let her know how I feel about her.

Love, Soojung Lee’

Mijoo’s feelings at the moment hit the rock bottom. It was too late the moment she realized it. Everything had been done and Soojung had gone. Every dream was shattered and vanished.

At least it was until Yein became the healing point for her. Although Mijoo still every day kept going to the same place and cried over her lost, Yein was always there to make her feel better. And Yein finally entered high school, enrolling in the same place as she lived with her mother in place of her late sister and could finally experience the same uniform as Soojung.

Yein looked so pretty on her uniform in her first day. Tears started streaming down on her face as she stood before the mirror to see her reflection and whispered – “How awful it is that you couldn’t even get to see me entering the same high school as you.”

Until the very end, both Mijoo and Yein were still looking forward until the day they get to see Soojung again.

Officially ended…

***I broke my promise to update sooner, I’m sorry ~_~ I was so busy streaming and tweet voting for #Lovelyz1stWin project! It’s maddening… I’m supposed to write whom Jisoo and the rest of the girls end up with but decide to make it just as it is. And Sujeong’s name hasn’t even appeared once. I’m sorry again L Please know that little Sujeong’s character was supposed to be Yein’s new and best friend in high school. Thanks for the supports, comments and upvote! I really treasure it! Thanks, you guys are the best! #Bookmark