Somewhere in the darkness, he felt a cold hand on his wrist. The touch burned into his skin. Whispers wreathed around him, hissing, speaking. They scratched softly around the edges of him and sought a way in.

You’re broken, the whispers told him.

The burning touch trailed up his arm. It hovered in the crook of his elbow. Acid seeped out of those fingertips, bleak thoughts creeping over his skin. You’re a failure. A burden. Worthless. Everyone would be better off if you were dead -

NO!

He came awake with a rush and a struggle. His eyes flew open and he tore a gasp of ozone-scented air into his lungs. He scrambled back on the bed and yanked his arm away, eyes wide and frantic as he searched the room for the source of the whispers.

“Kibum, Kibum-ah, calm down, it’s okay -” Someone was trying to catch at his arm. He jerked away again with a cry of terror - but the person reaching for him was not Dr. Ji. His hands were caught and held gently but firmly, and Kibum was enveloped by the familiar smells of new plastic and coffee grounds. His eyes stopped their panicked darting and locked onto Jinki’s face.

“Hyung?” He was ashamed to hear the quiver in his voice.

“Yes, it’s me, it's just me. Calm down, you’re safe.” Jinki was trying to soothe him, but his new-plastic worry was so sharp. Kibum could sense it through the contact of their skin. As his extended senses zoned in on Jinki’s hands holding his, he was hit with a sudden vision, abrupt and shocking as a blow to the face.

He saw himself lying motionless on an emergency room bed, face as white as the sheets he lay on, eyes closed and shadowed a bruise-like purple. A figure bent over him, fingers on his wrist, taking his pulse. Kibum gave an involuntary shudder as he recognized Dr. Ji. He watched as Dr. Ji’s hand moved up his arm to insert an intravenous line into the crook of his elbow. Then he blinked and the vision shattered, to be replaced by Jinki peering worriedly into his eyes.

"Kibum-ah?"

Kibum stared back at him. He had just seen himself through Jinki’s eyes. Jinki had been watching Dr Ji treat him earlier, and when he’d caught Kibum’s hands, Kibum had seen what Jinki saw.

He swallowed, and carefully pulled his hands out of Jinki’s, wishing with all his heart that he could do so without noticing the thick fragrance of lilies that blossomed among Jinki’s scents. He was hurting Jinki again.

“What is it?” Jinki asked gently. His face was creased with distress. “What are you afraid of?”

“The doctor.” Kibum answered Jinki’s question without thinking, but he regretted the words as soon as they left his lips. Who was scared of their own doctor? But the words held the ring of truth, and he could not call them back. He looked down, focusing on interlacing his fingers with each other as if this was a highly complex act that required all his concentration. He felt Jinki’s confusion in the swirling of his essence smells.

“You mean Dr. Ji?” Jinki asked.

“Yes. I don’t like him, hyung. There’s something about him – I can’t explain…” he trailed off, appalled to find tears welling up in his eyes. He knew he sounded like a child, frightened of monsters under the bed. But he also knew, though his extended senses, the pity and protectiveness that rose up in Jinki at his words. He knew how Jinki wanted nothing more than to pull him close and hug him until all the fear was gone, and how he held himself back, knowing how Kibum had reacted to being touched lately. He knew that Jinki would do anything to protect him, and whether the danger was real or imaginary made no difference to Jinki. The sudden understanding of all this was enough to tip the tears b in his eyes over the edge of his lashes. They fell, making two wet drops on the white hospital bedsheet.

“Get me out of here, hyung,” he whispered.

“Okay,” Jinki said. “Okay. Don’t worry. We can change your doctor. I’ll go ask them right now.” Jinki was projecting confidence into his voice, but Kibum sensed the uncertainty behind his words. He was trying to reassure Kibum, even though he wasn’t sure of anything himself. But even though he knew Jinki's words were hollow, he found himself reassured all the same. Jinki was on his side.

Kibum lay back on the bed. His heart ached with the need to be comforted, to be held the way Jinki wanted to hold him, but he couldn’t. His extended senses made it too painful, too overwhelming. He sniffed and rubbed the remaining tears away from his eyes, and thought about what had happened to land him back in hospital.

He’d managed to sort of clamp down on his senses, consciously shut them down. It had been instinctive, like jerking a hand out of a flame, done before he could consciously think of it. The problem was, this new clamping ability seemed to be an all-or-nothing solution. It shut down all his extended senses but took out his regular ones too.

That brought him to Jessica’s appalling smell. He couldn’t understand it. Kibum had known her for years and never had the slightest sense anything was wrong about her. She was always friendly, always kind. She ought to have had a nice essence smell too. But the rotting smell didn’t have the same feeling as an essence smell. It was something else. He wondered if perhaps she was sick, and her sickness had overwhelmed the scent of her essence smell. He frowned at the ceiling. Jessica didn’t seem ill. She