IV. HANBIN

A teenager research shows that if a parent tells their kids they're special when they're younger because of high grades from elementary school, there's a high chance the kids would be sorely disappointed when high school comes around and they're failing half of their classes, but they're too used to the words from their childhood to get a book and actually study.

Hanbin himself is an example of said case.

While he's somewhat of a prodigy in music, whatever else he thought he'd been a child genius at - mathematics, science, biology, even sports - turned out to be the kind of phase a lot of kids go through when they're... kids, otherwise known as the Adult Manipulation of the Mind. Most teenagers would be down upon discovering said fact, and Hanbin was too, for a short time (a time period consisting of mostly locking himself in his room and playing far too much video games, watching too much anime), but since Kim Hanbin is an opportunist, he got his together and just continued to do whatever it was he does best: bullting through life, and a little bit of music and writing as well.

Oh, and also, he meets up with a professional therapist from time to time. It helps a little, accepting the truth for what it is and that no, Kim Hanbin, you are not a child genius - but if you're good at something, then you push that talent, and hope it gets you far.

"How've you been?" His therapist, a middle-aged woman named Choi Hyojung with her dyed auburn hair tied up in a pencil bun, sits in front of him in her office, a steaming mug of coffee in her hand.

Hanbin shrugs, palms grazing the pristine table. "Decent."           

There's a clicking sound, and Hanbin doesn't need to look in order to see Ms. Choi has started scribbling some notes about this meeting, likely for future use. A few seconds pass and the pen is placed down on the table, along with the wooden clipboard, and his therapist prods him to meet her gaze. Hanbin does so with awkward movements and uncomfortable eyes, and he nearly cringes at the stern look she points at him.

"Hanbin, I am not getting paid just to hear you lie to me." The frankness from his therapist doesn't really shock him - they've known each other since Hanbin was thirteen and he'd asked his parents if he could get a therapist, which, considering the amount of money his family had, was really not difficult at all - and through the years, Hanbin considers Ms. Choi to be his only adult friend. (It helps she always picks up his calls, even at ungodly hours in the morning whenever Hanbin needs someone to talk to.)

"Sorry," he mutters, fingers tapping the material of the desk in a constant rhythm. The silence is a little hard to bear, so he drums his fingers - it calms his nerves. "I didn't think what happened the last time would've happened again," Hanbin admits, looking down, refusing to meet the eyes of the older. He hears a soft sigh, and even if he isn't looking, he can feel the quiet pity rolling from her in small waves. (He doesn't need pity. It does nothing.)

"Have you been taking your meds?"

"Sometimes."

"Hanbin..."

"Look, I'm fine," he snaps, adding an emphasis on the 'fine' part. His voice is raised, and the deadpan stare Ms. Choi is giving him after he's raised his head does nothing to fuel his confidence. "Sorry," he says again, this time a little quieter, more regretful. "It's just... it was just a two time thing. It won't happen again, I've got it under control - I don't need meds."

He half expects her to give out more medicine just to give him an unspoken ' you', but Ms. Choi simply regains her composure and pulls out a brown notebook. His brows furrow at the unfamiliar sight, eyes taking in the empty pieces of paper and the small pen included inside. "Do you want me to start writing in a diary or something?" Hanbin snorts, lips curled in a sneer.

Ms. Choi ignores his statements. "Write down the things that you're good at - or, just the things that make you happy."

Writing would be a less strenuous task than avoiding his parents or locking himself in his room with a bucket of teen angst, so Hanbin obliges, albeit a little reluctantly. He scribbles down on the empty page, brows furrowed in concentration, lips pressed into a thin line.

1. Music

2. Dancing

3. Writing

The list ends at that, almost disappointingly. He slides the book back towards her using the sleek surface of the table, eyes watching as her expression doesn't waver while reading his list of talents. (It's a pathetic list - he's pathetic.)

"Kid, we need to work with your confidence issues." He chuckles humourlessly, as if to say, ya think? "But we can work with this. Let's see, music, dancing, and writing? Very artistic. Have you ever tried auditioning for a company?"

"And be an idol? As if."

"You're not that bad looking, my niece saw a photo of you and she thinks you're cute," Ms. Choi remarks absent mindedly, and Hanbin chokes on air. "But you need to be likeable to be an idol, so I don't think you can do it."

"Gee, thanks. Thought you were supposed to be my therapist - make me feel all better and all."

"This is me speaking as your friend," she countered, smirking slightly. "Alright, I'm going to write down a few ideas on what you can do, and you'll have to start doing one of them. Okay?"

Hanbin frowns, a little puzzled. "What if I don't like any of the choices?"

"Then fake it until you make it, kiddo." He senses the conversation is over, and she starts jotting down her ideas, leaving him to watch as the clock continues to tick. It's only three minutes until six PM, and then he can go and be free to listen to Drake's new album. Yay.

He blinks, a little surprised, when Ms. Choi gives the diary slash journal thing back to him, and his eyes scan over the words (he practically squints to make out her doctor-like handwriting) of the activites she'd suggested - tap dancing, ballet, russian dance, theatre - until his eyes stop at one option.

Band.

Hanbin feels like a high school, less awesome but still kind of awesome version of Nick Fury forming his own band version of the Avengers.

(Technically he only personally approached one person, but still. Awesome analogies make for awesome analogies.)

"Do you think he'll say yes?" He asks Mina over Skype the evening after he asks Jeon Jeongguk to join his upcoming band, watching intently as his childhood friend shrugs, silent as she continues to sip her Capri Sun.

"I don't know. How well did you convince him?" Mina returns, throwing her drink in the trash once it starts slurping a little too loud for the container to not be empty.

Hanbin taps his chin, lips pursed as he thinks. Did he convince Jeongguk enough to get the kid to join his band? Jeon Jeongguk is a little bit of a mystery in the school, and that's saying something considering the impressing rumour mill, and the only thing most kids know about him is that he's a) emo, and b) good at playing the bass, but they really only know that because he joined a talent show during his first year (apparently to impress a senior, although that's another secret nobody knows the answer to - if said rumour is true, then Hanbin needs to add a third point - that C, Jeon Jeongguk is a romantic.)

"I'm guessing that's a no," Mina says dryly after seeing the look on Hanbin's face, cackling as her best friend splutters. "I'm kidding, Hanbin. I'm sure he'll say yes." There's a pause as Hanbin mulls over her words and Mina ties her hair in a ponytail, and he coughs awkwardly at the sight of her exposed neck - he's always been awkward around girls, his own friends included.  "Why did you personally ask him, by the way?"

"Just a feeling," Hanbin answers, swinging his wheeled chair around carefully. Mina looks as if she's waiting for him to elaborate, but Hanbin doesn't, and she sighs.

"I've got a math homework for Prof. Changmin to finish, but I can multitask. Do you want to watch some movies?" She offers, giving him a small smile.

"Yeah, yeah. Why not," Hanbin readily agrees, fingers already typing away on their keyboard to set up their usual movie night chat room. "How about some Marvel movies?"

Mina raises a brow at him, an amused smile on her lips. "Alright, you Fury wannabe. Marvel movie marathon sounds good?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a plan."

"I call dibs on Cap."

"Fine, I like Iron Man better anyway."

Like every recruiter would, Hanbin does intensive background research on his recruits.

(And by intensive background research, he means a quick check on their criminal records with the help of his acquaintance Kwon Soonyoung, the school's resident hacker, because he really doesn't want to be in a band with an ex murderer. That would be… bad.)

By the time Friday (not) the 13th rolls around, he's gotten six interested parties - a little bit of a letdown since he'd expected there to be at least ten applicants, but it's better than nothing - and thankfully, all their records were clean, so he's pretty sure his paranoia had nothing to worry about.

The lineup was somewhat unexpected, if he could say so himself, but as a wise man (himself in middle school, actually) once said - whatever works, works.

Mina meets him outside the biology lab once classes end, looking more official and proper than she usually is. He can tell she's put in at least some effort, considering the concealer under her eyes to hide the eyebags - he feels a pang of guilt, but then he remembers they're both in it together, hence the said guilt vanished - and how she smells a little like vanilla - like her mom's perfume, actually, instead of her usual go-to drugstore perfume. (Her reasoning is simple: it's cheap.)

"Look who's excited," she states, rolling her eyes as Hanbin practically vibrates as the pair continue to walk towards the music room - well, Mina was doing more sauntering than walking, and Hanbin was somewhere in between bouncing, skipping, and actually using his legs normally - they manage to survive heading in the opposite direction of most of the school's hallway's users without having to squeeze and push their way through, and Hanbin thinks of it as good omen. "Don't get me wrong though - I highly prefer when you're being excited instead of a grump," there's practically a smile in her tone, and Hanbin refuses to meet her gaze, knowing if he does he's only going to see Myoui Mina looking at him with a (blegh) motherly smile.

Yes, it is that kind of friendship.

Unsurprisingly, the music room is still empty when the both of them walk inside their audition spot, though Hanbin attributes it to the fact both him and Mina practically wasted no time in coming towards the room. They're going to come, Hanbin. It'll be just fine, he tries to reassure himself, but hearing his own voice trying to make himself feel better doesn't help, and so he reimagines the words in his head, only this time around he uses his therapist's voice instead of his.

It helps.

"Who do you think will arrive first?" Mina asks, nose scrunched as she thinks.

"Probably someone unexpected," he remarks, almost off-handedly, and Mina tilts her body's angle slightly so it faces him before raising an unimpressed brow.

"And what makes you say that?"

Hanbin shrugs. "These things always turn out to be an unexpected challenge." They don't dwell on the conversation. It looks like Mina has more to say as Hanbin catches the sight of opening, but before any words get the chance to go unrestrained, their first applicant opens the door quietly and peers his head inside the room, dyed hair sticking out from the beige colour scheme of the class.

"Is this the band auditioning place?" The person asks quietly, and Mina stands up from her seat, walking towards the newcomer to (presumably) give him a little run-through of whatever it is that's going to happen.

"Indeed it is! Welcome." The way the newcomer visibly relaxes at the sight of Mina's practiced disarming smile just about reminds Hanbin as to why it's imperative to have Mina helping him, obviously his people skills are nowhere as good as hers, but even Hanbin can't help to restrain the hint of smug pride that's pretty much just going all go best friend that’s my best friend like that one viral vine. She's so cool. "I'm Mina, by the way. I don't think I've ever seen you around."

"I'm new," the one with the dyed hair explains, almost sheepishly. "A transfer student, actually. It's nice to meet you, Mina. I'm Dongyoung, but you can call me Doyoung, if that's what you prefer - I don't exactly have a preference, you see, I mean both are pretty similar and they're also nice names -"

Oh, great. A rambler. (That was sarcasm.)

"While I'm sure the matters of your name origins are fun, I'm afraid we haven't quite introduced ourselves yet," Hanbin smoothly interrupts the conversation, offering Dongyoung or Doyoung or whatever it is a smile he mirrors from Political Animals. There's a hint of assessment in Hanbin's gaze as he tries to analyze what Doyoung's specialty might be - he'd listed something about dancing when Hanbin initially asked through Kakao messages, but considering the fact the band isn’t going to become a high school produced boy band, he’s not sure what Doyoung can bring.

Either way, he’s somewhat desperate for band members, so beggars can’t be choosers.

“Right. Um, yeah. Sorry.” Doyoung does at least six bows in two seconds, and if that isn’t a talent, Hanbin doesn’t know what talent is. “Do I just sit here and wait, or…?”

“Yeah. He doesn’t like repeating himself,” Mina answers for him, gesturing to the floor as a place for him to sit. Doyoung gets the hint and seats himself in a way that’s just too old school for a high school student (what the is a way to seat that’s ‘too old school’, his passive aggressive conscience reprimands) and the waiting game begins again.

Hanbin’s timer shows three minutes and twenty-six seconds pass before the next person arrives, and in the corner of his eyes, he can see Mina stiffen upon seeing the girl who enters the music room with graceful steps and perfectly windblown hair. (“Seriously, I didn’t think it was even possible for hair to be perfectly windblown. This isn’t a movie!” Mina protests later on, an approximate six hours after the auditions as she and Hanbin splurge on ice cream.)

Zhou Jieqiong is a sight to behold, no matter how many times Hanbin has seen her strolling past him in the hallways. Or anywhere else, really. The girl’s reputation precedes her.

“Hanbin, right?” Jieqiong says casually, and Hanbin nods mutely. The transfer student doesn’t bother to greet Mina, much to neither her or Hanbin’s surprise, and Hanbin would swear on his home theatre he could literally see Mina clenching her first as Jieqiong proceeds to sit down next to Doyoung, looking slightly startled to see the new student there. “Oh, hi! Are you planning to audition too?”

Doyoung nods, flashing the girl a shy smile. “Yeah. How was the chocolate milk, by the way? Did it help?”

Jieqiong nods hurriedly, showing her enthusiasm. “Of course! Thanks for that again.”

Hanbin feels a painful nudge to his ribs and he lets out a strangled gasp of pain, though Mina, the cause of said pain, only serves him a disgruntled look. Using Hanbin’s Best Friend Telepathy Senses, he predicts Mina is thinking something along the lines of “what the hell why didn’t you tell me Zhou Jieqiong was going to be here” and “how the do those two know each other??”, and in response Hanbin shrugs, the universal symbol of I Don’t Know. (Or, maybe it’s not the symbol of IDK in some countries, but Hanbin wouldn’t know.)

While the unlikely pair of Jieqiong and Doyoung continue to chat as if they’ve been friends since forever and Mina keeps staring at Hanbin like he’s committed some horrible atrocity, the door to the music room slides open again, and this time, the entrance is not a quiet one.

Jeon Jeongguk and Im Nayeon show up at the same time, the both of them looking thoroughly annoyed with the other. While Nayeon usually looks prim, proper, and definitely like she has her together - and Hanbin knows said usual appearance because of reasons, really - the girl’s face expression is dark, eyes narrowed and curling in an unusual grimace. Jeon Jeongguk himself isn’t much better, although the death radiating off his person isn’t as surprising considering that’s… just how Jeongguk normally is. Kind of like how the sky’s usually blue.

(“She’s absolutely demonic,” Jeongguk would hiss later on, when him and Hanbin are working on lyrics together as they devour more than enough bottles of Yakult.)

For a moment, it seems like Nayeon’s about to say something obscene at Jeongguk when she opens , but then her eyes catch the sight of Doyoung and her whole face lights up like christmas lights. It’s confusing. Hanbin doesn’t understand girls, and despite knowing Mina practically his whole life, he doesn’t think he ever will.

“I knew you’d take up the offer!” Nayeon cries out, ecstatic, but it only lasts around three seconds before she seemingly realizes there’s still an unsolved matter at hand: Jeon Jeongguk. The smile is immediately replaced with a frown, and she pokes her finger at Jeongguk’s chest, brows knitted in annoyance. “Now listen here, you rascal-”

And, like a saving grace from the awkwardness that’s bound to happen to the rest of the room, the door bursts open once more and squarely hits Nayeon in the face, muffling the girl’s words with (literally) a bang. (Or is it a smack?)

“Am I late?!”

A flushed and sweaty Kwon Soonyoung becomes the new target of Nayeon’s glare. If Hanbin squints, he can see Jeongguk send a prayer of thanks to whatever God the kid believes in.

An awkward silence comes soon after, nobody really responding to Soonyoung and said Soonyoung’s skin turning white as sheet upon spotting the icy stare from Nayeon’s eyes. He gulps audibly, and everyone else remains silent, until someone breaks it. (It’s Mina, who Hanbin is starting to think is a lifesaver.) “Is anyone not here yet?” She says quietly, taking a peek at her clipboard to check whoever’s left. “Oh. Someone named Song Yunhyeong’s not here yet.”

In that precise moment, Hanbin’s phone chimes, and his face falls as he reads the text.

From: Yunhyeong Hyung
Turns out I can’t make it, sorry. My cat died…

To: Yunhyeong Hyung
ughhh hyung are you serious right now

From: Yunhyeong Hyung
Please send my cat your dearest condolences. :(
He was supposed to turn three next week.

To: Yunhyeong Hyung
no i am very disappointed at his owner
who very specifically promised he’d show up
and make all the other auditionees sweat bullets

From: Yunhyeong Hyung
Sorry…
But my cat is more important than bands. :-(
I’ll see you at school, yeah?

“The last guy dropped out,” Hanbin mumbles, still feeling a hint of resentment in his chest, and also a little pang of sadness because Yunhyeong’s cat was probably the cutest cat Hanbin had ever seen. At least, until said cat died, but still. “His cat died.”

A series of mumbled “that ” and “poor him” echo around the room, and Hanbin waits an approximate of twenty seconds before everyone is silent. “Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s just start. Anyways, I’ll be calling out your names and everything, whoever has their name called can just take an instrument and play.” He pauses as his eyes scan the positions they’ve all applied for, and his lips twitch in amusement. “Conveniently for most of you, you’ve all applied for different positions, so it’s really a way for me to see whether you’re actually good or not.”

“You said most - who’s the exception?” Nayeon interrupts, looking a little too worried to be considered relaxed.

“Soonyoung and Doyoung, actually.” The boys mentioned pale upon hearing their names, although Hanbin doesn’t blame them - if he was in their place, he’d be intimidated as well. “So, we’ll save that one for last!” Hanbin claps his hands together with a cheery grin, not noticing the exasperated sigh courtesy of Mina.

“Let’s start with you, Zhou Jieqiong.”

Author's Note

i am, in fact, alive!!! this chapter was actually already in the works since two weeks ago but i kept procrastinating and only finished it now. anyways, i'm here to tell you while i'll try to bring a second update this week, i have exams very soon so if i don't update until my exams are over, please blame that!! my exams are on the twenty fourth of may but i'm going to put a lot of work into studying.... i...... must..... work..... hard......

in other news, thank you so, so much for all the interest towards this story! you guys are amazing, and the comments you leave motivate me to get off my lazy and actually write. thank you again, feedback is something i think every writer appreciates.

also, things will only be fully proofread once the story is over, so if there are any mistakes, i apologize in advance. i typed most of this at 1AM when i was half asleep and my brain was just slurring words at me to write.

stay awesome, people!