III. NAYEON

When Nayeon was ten, she first experienced the feeling of butterflies fluttering in her stomach. At the time, she was still wearing her cheetah printed prescription glasses, shoulder-length hair tied up in a poor imitation of a french braid. Her bangs hadn't evolved to their current version of cool, and all in all, she was an awkward kid.

(Things haven't changed a lot since then. Nayeon is still awkward, though the glasses are gone - replaced with soft lenses now - and after learing how to use a straightening iron, her hair has Glo'd The Up, as her classmate Ahn Hyejin would say.)

But anyways, butterflies.

Ironically, Nayeon doesn't clearly remember who it was. During that period, she was technically Kim Jiwon's 'girlfriend' after he'd proposed to her with a ring pop during recess, but Jiwon never made her feel shy or stutter the way Kim Mingyu did with his canine teeth and sun-kissed skin.

"Mom, is it normal for me to feel like I want to throw up whenever I see Kim Mingyu's smile?"

Nayeon's mother nearly choked on her herbal tea upon hearing her daughter's question, but after a few more minutes of coughing and spluttering, the older woman blinked in confusion at the splitting image of herself (but much, much younger) sitting across her with an curious tilt of the head.

"What makes you ask that, sweetheart?"

"I don't know." Nayeon shrugged, picking on her food with her fork. "Maybe it's because his teeth are scary," she mumbled, taking some broccoli with the fork and grimacing upon hovering it in front of . "Do I really need to eat this? I'm ten, mom."

"Ten year-olds need their strength too, little woman. Now eat that broccoli before I feed it to you - wouldn't want that do we, you independent lady?" Upon hearing the threat, Nayeon shoves the food in , gagging at the taste but swallowing it down with a chug of mineral water. "Now, what is this I hear about wanting to throw up and Kim Mingyu? Is he bothering you?"

"I mean, he's not - he's actually pretty cool - or maybe he thinks he's cool but he's not, but..." Nayeon trailed off, chewing down on her lower lip in thought. Was it really Mingyu who made her feel all nauseous but at the same time, a little warm and jittery as well? Or maybe it was Jiwon, who seemed to be around wherever Mingyu was as well. Teen stuff was so difficult!

"Do you like him, sweetie?"

Her mother's question threw Nayeon off-guard, causing the ten-year old to gulp, and heart thumped as she thought about her mother's question. Did she like like Mingyu? But it didn't really make sense, if she did like like him, then why did seeing his face (or maybe it was Jiwon's, again, the possibility still stood) make her feel all sick and nervous?

"Have you heard about something called the butterflies, Nayeon-ah?"

The little girl blinked owlishly at the term, her answer quiet and unsure. "Aren't they an insect?" Her mother laughed softly, and Nayeon whined, pounding her fists on the table gently. "What did I say?"

"Not those butterflies," her mother began in a matter-of-fact tone, causing Nayeon's head to tilt in confusion, mouth forming a small 'o.' "These butterflies are what you feel when you like someone."

"So, there are actual butterflies in my body? Isn't that dangerous?"

"They're not real butterflies, they just... feel like butterflies. That's where they get their name. It makes you feel jittery; maybe sometimes your stomach feels a little fluttery too."

"Did dad make you feel butterflies, mommy?"

"Every single day, sweetheart. Every single day."

That day, Nayeon learned a new meaning of a familiar word. Butterflies. Nayeon decided she disliked butterflies - maybe having them meant she liked someone, but they also meant her feeling all nauseous and a little sick, and she was not here for that.

(Besides, seven years pass and in the end Kim Jiwon moves to ia and Kim Mingyu ends up being an , so Nayeon didn't really miss out.)

High school is a scary place, but Nayeon is much tougher than she looks - she'll be okay.

"Can I see your math homework?" Sojung is sitting next to her in class as usual, a white earbud plugged in her right ear. Nayeon hears the latest music released by her brother's band and nearly sighs, either because it's the sixth time she's heard it this week or the fact it's Sojung of all people listening to her brother's music, she doesn't know (and frankly, she doesn't care - the music's good enough, it's just like the case of overplayed songs on the radio.)

"Why didn't you do it yourself?" Nayeon grumbles, but fishes the piece of paper out of her brown backpack anyway, sliding it over to her best friend who clutches it like a lifeline.

Frankly, Nayeon doesn't blame her. Their math teacher is horrible, and if she was in Sojung's position, she'd do the same as well.

"I was reading webtoons," Sojung mumbles under her breath and Nayeon's ears perk upon hearing it. "By the way, tell your brother his new album's good. Like, really good. Good to the point I can't believe I even legally bought it."

"Gee, thanks for legally funding my brother's band for once."

"You're welcome!"

When Nayeon's lips are about to move, voicing more opinions about her brother's band, a girl takes the seat precisely in front of their table and the words die in . Nayeon coughs, almost awkwardly, and after Sojung notices the other presence, her best friend quiets down as well. It's always been a habit of theirs to suddenly stop their conversation when it comes to Nayeon's brother if someone else arrives, and while Sojung doesn't get it - think of how cool you'd be if people found out you're his sister! - Nayeon already hates the attention enough, having people knowing her celebrity relation would practically be her High School Horror Story.

"The weather's nice today." Nayeon rolls her eyes at Sojung's attempt of a subject change in conversation, but she smiles fondly, and Sojung's face stretches in a grin. 

Sojung takes her phone out of her pocket and types furiously onto the keyboard, and a few moments later, Nayeon's phone vibrates in her pocket.

From: Main Hoe (Sojung)
why don't u want to be like ur brother btw???

To: Main Hoe (Sojung)
What, be all gross and sweaty and spectacled? No thanks.

From: Main Hoe (Sojung)
i mean music-wise lol
don't u like music, like him??

To: Main Hoe (Sojung)
I love music. I just don't want to be in the spotlight, unlike him.

From: Main Hoe (Sojung)
is that why i caught u almost signing up to the school's talent show

To: Main Hoe (Sojung)
...

From: Main Hoe (Sojung)
mMMMmmMM oh my god

To: Main Hoe (Sojung)
Don't.
Hoe don't do it.

From: Main Hoe (Sojung)
stop fukin' lyin!!

"Is this really the nature of teenagers today?" A voice mocks, and Nayeon's head tilts to find the resident boi, Kim Mingyu, peering at her and Sojung's phones. With reflexes she never knew she had, Nayeon places her phone screen-down, and locking Sojung's phone in one go. (She swears she could've heard the wind rustling as she did it.) "The two of you are sitting right next to each other but you still feel the need to text, instead of speaking what you need to say."

"Stop acting all high and mighty Kim Mingyu, I've seen you making eyes and texting under the table with a girl sitting two chairs away from yours," deadpans Nayeon, sounding as unimpressed as a high school teacher seeing their student saying 2 + 2 is a fish instead of a four. (Her best friend's guilty of doing that, but still.)

"Aw, does goody two shoes Im Nayeon pay attention to me? I'm flattered." Mingyu places his hands in front of his heart, patting it with an obnoxious smile as if to show just how impressed he is with her observational skills. Nayeon exhales a sigh, lips twitched downwards in a frown.

"I pay attention to everyone. That's why I'm the student council president."

Next to her, she hears Sojung whoop a loud 'BURN!' and before Mingyu has the chance to reply, the classroom door is opened, and her brows knit in confusion upon seeing a first year at the door. Mingyu's attention turn from her to the freshman, and when Nayeon notices the small smirk on his face as his feet change its direction towards the door, about to start walking, she holds him back by his arm and ignores the dumbfounded look he sends her.

"Don't scare the poor kid." Nayeon's tone shifts from hostile to friendly, however, as she places her trademark I'm In Charge smile at the junior. "Are you lost?"

"U-Uh, no sunbaenim.. Is this class 2-3?" The younger asks awkwardly, an expression of terror etched on his features. His eyes are huge, Nayeon notices, and he keeps fidgeting by the door. Nayeon nods, still smiling at him. "Hanbin hyung sent me here to announce something, am I allowed, or...?"

Hanbin? Nayeon drums her fingers on her table, brain searching up a familiar face to pop out with the name she's sure she's heard before. The image of someone with a big nose but freakishly talented in music — the teacher's pride — appears, and she wonders why a kid like Kim Hanbin would need to send lowerclassmen to announce things for him. (Her opinion on him, albeit neutral, lowers slightly at the thought of him having a few underclassmen under his belt to do his bidding, but she has to pinch herself as a reminder not to make assumptions.)

"Go ahead," she urges, gesturing to the spot in front of the whiteboard and in the center of the classroom. The lowerclassman pales, and in the corner of her eyes, she sees Sojung flashing him a sympathetic smile. "Everyone! The - uh, what's your name?"

"Jung Chanwoo."

"Yeah! Jung Chanwoo has an announcement, quiet down and listen to him." Nayeon stands up, raising her voice to her classmates, and the chatter in the class ceases to low murmurs.

Chanwoo seems to take it as an opportunity to start his announcement, as he begins to speak a few moments afterwards. "Good morning, sunbaenim. I'm sorry for disturbing." He pauses to bow ninety degrees at the class before continuing his announcement. "Hanbin hyung asked me to pass the word, and he's holding auditions for a band. The audition will be held on Friday in the music room after school, and if anyone is interested, just tell him by texting him or messaging him on social media. His phone number is..."

Against her better judgment, Nayeon scribbles down Hanbin's contact on her notebook, and when she looks up, their teacher's already arrived and is already forcing Chanwoo out of the classroom. (Chanwoo does end up going outside the classroom, but not before doing a few more hasty bows from the door and sprinting away to his first class. Nayeon ends up reminiscing to her disastrous first year of high school, and she cringes.)

Sojung leaves her behind during lunch break, though Nayeon understands her best friend just wants to have some of the doritos being served, so she can't really get angry. (The school's lunch menu is usually disastrous and tastes more like cardboard than actual food, but doritos - now that's a lifechanging experience.)

As she unpacks her lunch box from her backpack (she remembers getting the bag back when she'd first started middle school and she's still using it now, despite all the bad days the bag's been through), her mind drifts from the inviting scent of homemade jokbal to the first year's words from earlier, as well as the little text conversation she had with Sojung a few minutes prior to the opportunity being announced - and against her better judgment, she takes out her phone to dial her brother's number.

It takes a total of three rings before he picks up, and she hears the sound of laughter and chatter in the background, as well as the melodious playing of instruments. (It doesn't take a genius to figure out he's currently having band practice, and she feels a little guilty for disturbing him.)

"Nayeon! Hey, what's up? Guys, my little sister is calling!"

And just like that, all the guilt is gone, replaced by a feeling of embarrassment only an older brother could cause.

"Shut up, Jae," she hisses into the phone without any malice, and Jae laughs, hearty and rumbling and infectious. "Listen, I..." Nayeon pauses, finding the words difficult to say, her pride restraining her from asking. Swallowing down the remainder of whatever pride holds her back, she continues. "I need your advice."

She nearly slams her forehead to the table when she hears Jae's version of a dramatic gasp - too exaggerated, not exactly necessary either - and the disbelief dripping from his tone when he answers. "Is the end of the world near? I can't believe you're actually asking me for advice, isn't it usually the other way around?"

"If you keep being like this, I'll just retract my question."

"And the man is now silent!"

"Good. Okay, so... ugh I don't even know how to say this - "

"Did you get a boyfriend?" Jae nearly shouts into the phone and Nayeon cringes at the loudness of his tone, and she shakes her head, despite knowing he wouldn't see it anyways.

"No! God no. School comes first, you know? I have so much responsibility and having a boyfriend would just hold me back," Nayeon rants, her tone sounding more exasperated than actually annoyed, mostly from the boredom of having to explain this more than a few times to her family. She's not that bad looking, if she could say so herself, and it's not like she doesn't have suitors - the amount of chats she has in her messaging application just proves that - but what's the point in having a boyfriend if she can't get accepted into Seoul University, or even Yonsei, if she didn't make it to SNU?

"I know, I know." She practically hears the pout in his voice, and she almost sighs again. "So, what's the matter? Anyone bothering you?"

"Um, no, but I have a dilemma, of a sort." Nayeon inhales, trying to think of a way to explain it to make sure her brother could give a neutral-fueled advice, mostly because if she just comes out with 'should I join a band or not?' she's already able to predict her brother's holler of 'hell yeah!'

She hears a sound of shuffling feet from the other line, and when the background noise turns more silent, Nayeon knows her brother just stepped out of the practice room to talk to her more privately. Or maybe he just needed some air because of a member's farts, she doesn't know.

"If you had a passion, but you don't want the spotlight to be on you even more and an opportunity arises for you to do something with said passion, what would you do?"

"Even if I didn't want to get more attention, I'd still do it." Jae's answer is blunt as she'd expected, but she waits for him to elaborate. He does. "If I didn't take the opportunity, I'd just be haunted by what ifs, you know? Man, I sound too serious, don't I?"

Nayeon rolls her eyes, but she smiles fondly. "Your serious side seriously scares me. But, thank you. I'll let you go back to practice now, see ya." She hangs up, and with a feeling of finality, her fingers touch the screen to type a message to someone whom she knows needs this more than she does.

To: Dongyoung
Hey, choir boy. Heard about the band thing?

From: Dongyoung
what band thing

To: Dongyoung
Someone's starting up a band.
Do you want to audition?

From: Dongyoung
why are you asking me, though?

To: Dongyoung
I know you.
Don't act like I haven't seen your increase in emo after the incident.

From: Dongyoung
... you noticed?

To: Dongyoung
Doesn't take a genius to notice it, my friend.
Come on, please?
I don't like seeing you like this. :(

From: Dongyoung
i guess i'll give it a try..
only for you tho :/

To: Dongyoung
YAAAASSSS.
Aww, friendy poo.
I'll text you the details.

From: Dongyoung
will you come, though?
i know you can play.

To: Dongyoung
IDK yet.
We'll see, I guess.

Author's Note

how did i pump out three chapters in one week

I hope you're all liking this story so far! I have a lot of fun writing it. The characters are all different from each other, and that's what the main plot of the story focuses on. Instead of being too plot drivened, I also want the story to be driven by the characters' development as well.

Please leave a comment. They're what encourage me to write. Don't be a silent a reader :-)

P.S. This story will only be revised / edited once the story ends, so please be patient with me if there are a few grammar or spelling mistakes!