03- Gray

She feels hot, her body feels like it’s sweating but is cold at the same time. She pulls her blanket up--too hot-- she pushes her blanket down--shivering cold. She opened her sleep lidden eyes and sees a bear staring at her worriedly.

She must be hallucinating.

It must be the side effect of this weird temperature changes she’s feeling. Yes, that’s probably it. She groaned.

“Unnie, you’re heating up” she groaned, turning sideways but halting when her head felt like it’s going to explode.

“I’ll stay with her.” came a soothing voice. She barely heard anything else after that as she drifted back to sleep, breathing a bit labored, and skin tingling from being hot and cold.

She woke up hours later, eyes trying to blink the heat searing through it.

“Wendy~” a familiar voice spoke and she had a bit of trouble moving her head because it felt too heavy, eyes instantly locking with monolid ones and it seems like all the pain and heaviness in her system had muted, her heart calming at once.

“S-Seul?” a smile and a nod.

“I brought you soup~ Well, I asked Yuri unnie to cook because I don’t want to accidentally...poison you...or something...” her bear muttered sheepishly. “I also brought a copy of my notes from today’s lesson… are..are you feeling okay now?” she can hear the worry coating Seulgi’s voice and she can’t help but give her a smile, moving a bit to try and sit up but was instead met with her room circling around. Seulgi was on her side in an instant.

“Ughhhhh”

“Don’t move, Wen~ Here, let me help you.” She felt arms encircle her shoulders and felt her body gently being moved in a sitting position, back hitting the pillows placed on her headboard. “There we go~ Now you can eat~~”

“I’m not hungry.”

“At least take a few bites so you could drink your meds~” Seulgi cajoled her, placing the bowl of soup in front of her. “I’ll feed you~” she smirked.

“Ah~~” she opened and watched as Seulgi eye’s went wide before scooping a spoonful of soup, blowing on it, and feeding it to her.  “Hmm, I can’t taste anything.”

“......Wen.. if you didn’t want the ride I offered yesterday, you could’ve at least taken my umbrella instead of running in that heavy rain.” she can hear the dejection in her friend’s voice and was alarmed to see the sadness radiating from Seulgi’s eyes.

“It--It’s not like that! I honestly thought I brought my umbrella...but it turns out that I forgot it here.” she defended and that seemed to ease the bear.

“Yeah, Joy said that Irene unnie walked you home? I should thank her for that.” Her heart sped up at the name and her face warmed some more. Why is she reacting like this? Her heart shouldn’t be thumping way too hard at the mere mention of a name. “Oh, that’s unnie’s jacket right?” Seulgi pointed at the jacket hanging on her dresser and she grinned.

“Yeah, it’s Irene unnie’s~” she feels like she could fly just by saying that name. She paused.

Oh.

A realization hit her.

“I think I might have a crush on Irene unnie.”

It’s been weeks since she heard that...confession? Can she call it that? Wendy didn’t mean to blurt it out to her but still...it was haunting her.

“.....crush on Irene unnie...”

“.....crush on Irene unnie...”

“.....crush on Irene unnie...”

“.....crush on Irene unnie...”
 

“AHGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” she screamed, paintbrush digging into the canvas as the colors mixes horrendously at the sunset she once made. It’s not helping that the following days after that confession, Wendy had been trying so hard to become closer to Irene, which by the way had made Joy and Yeri unleash their full satanic powers, almost burning the knitting club that their classmate Sejeong was in. How can they even start a fire there is something that she doesn’t want to think about nor ponder on.

She pulled her paintbrush back, eyebrows meeting in the middle at the once sunset that is now lined with a gray color. She groaned.

“What has your in a twist, unnie?” she turned around and saw Joy leaning on the doorframe by the art club. She sighed, turning back around and shrugging. “It’s my dwarf sister, isn’t it?” She visibly tenses but still didn’t turn back around.

“Don’t call her a dwarf.” She heard some shuffles then footsteps and a chair being pulled and placed beside hers.  Joy looked at her then back at the painting before placing her head on her shoulders before sighing.

“I know, unnie.” and she knows it means an entirely different thing from what she just said. It means that Joy knows and sees what her emotions are right now. “I won’t tell.”

“Thank you.” and they stayed in their position, silent and just understanding. A very loud clearing of throat got their attention and they looked up and see Irene looking sternly at them.

“What is happening here?”

“Oh, umm, I’m just telling Joy about my Yuri unnie looking for her childhood friend and how I’m trying to help her….” she lied, hands going to her bear shaped ears and eyes avoiding the older one.

“Oh? Wow, a childhood friend, huh. I want to help out.” Her head whipped back to look at Irene, small eyes getting wide.

“Really, unnie?”

“Joy would help too, right?” Irene asked, looking at the youngest curiously.

“Uhh..yeah, sure, okay?” and the eldest smiled.

“Great!~”

“We’re going to the hospital on Saturday to ask around...If you want, you can join? ”

“That sounds perfect!” Irene grinned.

“What sounds perfect, unnie?” Wendy appeared, looking at the eldest with sparkly eyes. She had to contain herself from rolling her eyes, Joy did that for her already anyway.

“Uhh, helping Seulgi with finding her Yuri unnie’s childhood friend.” Irene smiled, glancing at her as Wendy gently held the older one’s arm in excitement.

“That’s so sweet and cute and sweet of youuuu~~!” her best friend gushed and this is where she had finally succumbed to rolling her eyes before looking back at Irene who was donning an awkward smile and looking at Joy in a somewhat plea for help. She sighed.

“Hey, Wen, join me for ice cream? My treat.” she grinned and Wendy looked at her, locking eyes and the constellations from inside her had just gotten bigger. For a moment, she felt scared that she wouldn’t be able to hold this growing galaxy inside her but a small smile from her best friend had made her feel like she can carry a whole universe with just one hand.

“Irene unnie, do you want to come with us?” and just like that, the unfearful feeling of carrying whatever is inside her had vanished as she looked down, trying hard to remain stoic. She barely heard Irene refusing to go with them before she looked up, the well practiced smile plastered on her face.

“I just remembered… I need to go to the art store to buy some new paint and canvas. You and Irene unnie can go eat ice cream instead.”

“Yah! WHAT ABOUT ME?” Joy screamed and she looked at the youngest, still with that smile.

“I thought you’re going to go with Yeri? You wanted help for the math test coming up, right?” She and the tallest had a staring contest, her smile not fading and Joy’s eyes questioning her intentions before looking away.

“Y-yeah, I remember.”

“I can help you study!~” Irene piped up, looking excited, “We can go to the library so you can concentrate~” There was silence as Joy looked back at her then back to Irene then back at her, then to Wendy before looking back at her again, eyes questioning.

“Uhm.. uh.. You know what, Yeri’s probably waiting for me anyway. Better not let my partner in crime wait for too long, ok bye!” Joy dashed off followed by Irene who was shouting ‘Wait!’ and Wendy glancing back at her. She looked her best friend straight in the eyes, speaking to her without actually talking, trying to at least make her stay but Wendy just looked away and speeded of in hopes to catch up to their other friends. Her plastered smiled quirked down as she turned around and looked at the painting she was making, the once orange and blues now has a streak of gray on top.

Saturday came by and Seulgi and the others had met in the hospital where her Yuri unnie had been confined for most of her childhood. She had grabbed her sister’s arm, suddenly feeling like she’s  four again and is on her way to make sure her Yuri unnie doesn’t cry while the I.V. bags carried her unnie’s medicine inside the tubes connected to her older sister’s hands. She never wanted to see her sister be inside a room in any hospital again. It induces anxiety from within her.

She felt someone hold her other hand and she smiled, knowing the all too familiar warmness. She looked beside her and sure enough, Wendy was staring back at her fondly, mumbling,

“It’s okay, Seulbear~ We’re just here to ask. Your Yuri unnie is fine and healthy~” she believed every word her best friend said. Her heart and mind were assured as ever and she let go of the hold on her sister and instead gave her full attention to Wendy.

“Are you sure you don’t remember a girl going in this room before?” She heard Joy ask one of the nurse in the reception. The tallest one had been nagging at nurses since they came in with Irene flashing an ‘I’m-so-sorry’ smile to every nurse that Joy had pissed off.

“Like I said, I don’t. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have patients to attend to.” The nurse answered as she glared at Joy. They heard her sister sigh and she felt the warm hands of Wendy leave her and was instead replaced with warmness in her heart as her best friend approached her sister, an unopened water bottle in hand.

“Here unnie.” Wendy gave her Yuri unnie the drink, “Don’t worry about it too much. I think the nurse was new so we better ask someone older, yes?”

“That’s a good idea, Wendy~” Her unnie smiled, looking at Wendy like she’s happy and touched about what her best friend just did. Her sister glanced at her before looking back at Wendy with a smirk before shaking her head like she just thought of something.

“Yul?” Someone called out and she had turned to look at the person who just called her sister’s nickname, “Yul! Is that really you?! You’ve grown so much! What are you doing here?” An older nurse had hugged her Yuri unnie tight and her sister hugged back. She cocked her head to the side in question, barely hearing Irene pulling Joy to stop harassing the nurses.

“It’s nice to see you again, Narsha unnie!” her sister greeted. Narsha? Narsha???? Who’s Narsha?

“My, my. Now what are you doing here now? And bringing-- is that Seulgi? Aigoooo~ your sweet sweet adorable sister that never wanted to leave your side had grown into such a pretty young lady! And you’ve brought friends!” Narsha gave her a quick hug. It was awkward on her part because she doesn’t really remember her. Once she was let go, a hand grabbed her arm and she looked at her best friend in question.

“Who’s that?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged.

“Then why did she hug you?” a raised eyebrow in question was given to her.

“I don’t know?” she answered, but it sounded more like a question. Wendy eyebrows scrunched before her arm was being squeezed a bit.

“Stay with me.” her heart might’ve been hammering loudly on her chest, on her pulse points, and on her ears, and she wishes and hopes that nobody can hear it, nobody can hear the stars inside her connecting to each other, forming constellations, and making a whole beautiful galaxy circling all over her. She looked away, eyes connecting with Joy’s as the latter held a smirk while wiggling her eyebrows which just made her face heat up.

“I remember her wearing blue and purple layers.” she heard her sister explain and she focused on that instead of the feeling of wanting to burst from the growing galaxy inside her.

“That girl! Yes, I remember her!”

“And?”

“She has long brown hair. A very radiant smile. I see her go into your room often.”

“Yes! That’s her!” Her Yuri unnie’s getting excited and that made her grin. She only wants her unnie to always be happy.

“Isn’t she one of your friends? From school or something?”

“N-no, unnie, she wasn’t.” her sister’s voice broke along with her excitement and she frowned.

“Oh, really? I thought she was. She would always traipse on these halls wearing that pretty dress of hers and would just enter your room like she knows it like the back of her hand.” There was silence between Narsha and her sister after that. “I’m sorry, Yul, that’s all I know of your friend.”

“It’s okay, unnie. Thanks for the info though.”

“No problem. I’m glad to see you well and happy, Yul. I have to go now, a lot of patients to care for~” Narsha waved goodbye to them and Seulgi had found herself taking her hand away from Wendy’s and giving her sister a comforting back-hug.

“It’s okay, unnie~You’ll find her~”

“Why don’t we get some ice cream to cheer unnie up?” Wendy asked.

“Yes! Irene unnie will pay!” Joy exclaimed.

“YAH! Joy, you little-” Irene was about to say something mean when Wendy cut her off.

“I-I’ll pay unnie! Don’t worry about it!” Wendy’s face was a bit red and she looked on over the other side to contain her emotions.

“Oh, you don't have to do that Wendy~” Irene sounded worried, she inhaled a large amount of air before looking back, the all too practiced smile plastered on her face once again.

“N-no! I insist!” Wendy exclaimed, eyes set with determination, and cheeks getting redder from the eye contact she’s giving Irene. Joy had bumped shoulders with her, a small smile playing on the younger one’s lips.

“I’ll buy the ice cream as a thanks for helping me out.” her Yuri unnie voiced out and they started gushing excitedly at the thought of free ice cream, ignoring how the galaxy inside her is slowly being painted gray.