Kang Mo Yeon’s POV

Today, I officially turned 33. I’m blessed beyond measure.

I’ve gone through this past week on normal. I still go to some broadcast stations for recording and help out in the operating room every so often. Yoo Shi Jin and I are still in contact with each other. We exchange texts every morning, noon, and night until we fall asleep regardless of the time difference.

The last time I’ve seen Seo Dae Young was at the coffee shop. We’ve never bumped into each other again since then. I’ve tried visiting the same coffee shop every morning before going to work, but he never shows his face – he won’t. Maybe because the coffee shop turns out not to be as vacant as the last time we visited? Only heaven knows.

“Dr. Kang, there’s someone in front of the entrance insisted on seeing you. And he’s wearing a military uniform. Is he your boyfriend?”

I jump up, having hopes of seeing the man I’ve longed for soon. While being on my way to the main entrance, I’ve been holding myself back from reaching my destination hurriedly so that I won’t destroy my last pair of high heels. Thanks to the volcanic eruption though, for making me have to smash my favorite shoes up in order to run around while coming to the aid of the sufferers.

At the front door, I spot Seo Dae Young leaning his back against his car door.

“What brings you here, Sergeant Major Seo?” I politely ask as I get there.

He takes out a washed out white envelope of his pocket and hesitatingly passes it on to me.

“What is this?”

Why does it feel like I’ve been in the same situation before? Don’t tell me –

“Read it for your own sake.”

“NO!” I yell at the top of my lungs. “He’s supposed to be back today, right? Tell me he’s hiding at the back seat of your car. Tell me he’s waiting for me to get the filming done. Tell me he’s still alive!”

I push Seo Dae Young’s sturdy figure away and open the door abruptly. But I find nothing. The seat is empty.

Despite not muttering a single word by now, his look says it all.

Yoo Shi Jin had to break his promise for the second time. He failed in keeping his responsibility.

“Get in the car.”

My mind’s lost its sanity, can’t come to its senses but to do what SM Seo said. I’m not sure if I still have an interview after this, or how many patients are waiting in line at the hospital to get examined. I’m just mustering up the courage to hear what the commander has to explain – I’ve learned it by heart because this one and the same state of affairs are just like a rewind of the last year’s incident.

SM Seo doesn’t bother to sympathize with me; he just drives attentively and silently. I wonder if Myeong Joo has gotten back in good condition or not. Only SM Seo knows. If he’s tough enough to confront it all alone, why can’t I be? It’s my second time going through this to boot.

This time, I don’t get to read Yoo Shi Jin’s final say and decide to take Myeong Joo’s advice not to read it right away, because it means that I’ve accepted his eternal rest.

***

“I doubt you haven’t been here before, but this is Yoo Shi Jin’s room.”

Different from last year, this time, I’m not being taken to the military headquarters. I gaze around at the familiar surroundings. To answer SM Seo’s previous statement before, yes, of course I’ve been here before.

“I’ll leave you alone.” With that, SM Seo closes the door behind him.

I seat myself on his bed, reaching for the framed family portrait on the bedside table. In the photograph, Shi Jin and his father were wearing the uniforms every girl fantasizes about, lips curved to a smile, and holding tight on a photo of Mrs. Yoo. I lay my fingers right on his smiling face and gently caress it, “Have you met your mother in heaven? Say hello from me to her. Express my gratitude to her for giving birth to such an amazing man like you.”

As much as I’ve tried to hold it in, the pain comes out from my throat like an uproar of a silent scream. The beads of water start streaming down on my cheeks one after another and I can’t seem to stop it.

On our way to Shi Jin’s house, I made an impossible silly promise to myself not to shed a tear. I knew it was impossible, but why did I still give my word to do it? Even Yoo Shi Jin kept making an impossible promise and broke it eventually. Was my plea for him to return safely too difficult to keep?

The more I think of it, the more I wonder how Myeong Joo could manage not to open SM Seo’s written will until he rose from the dead. Was she not dying to know about his word of farewell? Will Yoo Shi Jin also come back to life if I commit myself not to open it until next year? Silly Mo Yeon. The miracle does only apply once in a blue moon. History won’t be repeated, take it as read.

I immediately rummage around my purse for the washed out white envelope SM Seo gave me earlier. I carefully tear the envelope and spread out the letter.

Remember the first time you rested your head on my pillow? You came out of the bathroom, didn’t even bother to close the door afterward, causing the smell of your shampoo to ooze out and filled the entire room. You were too exhausted. And I understood that. That’s why I let you put your head down on my pillow and fell asleep in a little while. I wanted to wake you up and towel your hair dry for you. But as soon as I watched your peaceful sleeping face, I instantly urged against it, not wanting to brush off the beautiful scenery I beheld. The next morning, I wondered how could you wake up with a perfect, tidy and sweet-scen