a/n: YAY I finally got inspiration for starting this fic after thinking about my ex and where I am now, I just thought about he was my first love and how he made me feel, and then thought of how all my friends are telling me to enjoy being single now that I’m over him, and that I should try to find myself without being fully committed to someone n stuff. Luckily I’ve gotten a lot more involved with thing my grade does and the people in my graduating class so I feel like I have the first hand experience I need to start writing this well.  Here’s a little prologue. I hope you like :)

     Junhui walked out, coming face to face with the disapproving look in his roommate/best friend for life's eyes; once again coming out of his bedroom half with hickeys all over his body, disheveled and dirty. Minghao felt sorry for him. “Who was it this time?” He asked.

   Junhui shrugged. “Some chick from my foreign films class...I don't know her name…”

    Minghao rolled his eyes and sighed. Grabbing Junhui a glass of water, he spoke up again. “You need to stop this.”

    “Stop what?” The older asked.

    “ yourself around like you think you're worthless or something. It's not right. You're worth so much more than countless, nameless one nightstands.”

    Junhui scoffed. “I like okay. So what?! Who gives a damn?”

    “I give a damn!” Minghao said. He turned around to face his friend, clearly frustrated. “What you do isn't just about liking . It's about self destruction and all your pent up daddy issues and misplaced self pity. You ask me ‘so what?’,  well you wanna know what? I have to see you walk around as if you're dead and worthless all the time. Unless there is someone in your bed or you're flirting with someone at the bar, even then you're only half alive! Have you ever been in love, Junhui? Like, really and truly been so in love with someone that the is just a plus. That all you really need and want is to just hold them and talk to them. When you feel their arms wrapping around you and holding you tight despite them not actually being there? Knowing that there is that one person you'll be able to go back to forever, that they're the one person who is everything right and perfect in your world, makes breathing so much easier because you no longer have to do it alone? Because I have, and I'm always alive and always happy when I'm talking, kissing, holding or thinking about Hansol. Because he's my everything, my very source of light. So have you ever been in love Jun?”

    Junhui looked down at the floor then leaned against the wall. “No, but I love you, you're my childhood best friend. That's something.”

    Minghao handed Jun the water. “I hope, for your sake and mine, that you fall in love; soon too. Because loving me isn't enough, me loving you isn't enough. It's not the same, and I can't hold your hand forever. You need more than just me.” Minghao places his hands on Jun’s shoulders and presses his thumbs into the skin for comfort. Jun bit his lip and pondered all that his best friend had to say.

    “...I'll...I'll get a cat.” Jun said, slight smirk on his lips. And Minghao rolled his eyes, playfully this time, before pinching Juns arm.

    “Please find someone Jun…fall in love. If not for you, than for me. Find someone sweet, someone nice. I worry.” Minghao smiled sweetly.

    Jun smiled a small, tiny smile. “I'll try.” Minghao let out a shaky breath. “Only because you’re asking me too.” Junhui finished.

---

    Wonwoo was sitting on his best friend's couch in his apartment, Mingyu beside him and rubbing a hand up and down his back. “Why? What is so wrong with me that every time I love someone they run screaming?” Wonwoo pouted, he’s been single for almost a year, his last boyfriend had very literally ran away from him when he told him he loved him.

    Mingyu’s boyfriend, Seunggwan, spoke up from the kitchen. “Why don’t you just...try to sleep around a little bit? Don’t focus on trying to find someone to grow old with and marry...find someone who makes you feel like you’re jumping off the edge of a 50 story building. You need someone exhilarating, someone powerful that keeps you coming back for more no matter how many times you tell yourself you shouldn’t, that they’re bad for you. Try finding the wrong one. It’ll sure help you clear your head and your heart, trust me. I was a lot like you, then I met some guy named Vernon, and boy was he just terrible for me, nice guy, really sweet but we did not just get on well. But it was fun, and it restarted my heart to be opened up again for the one person I know that I can spend the rest of my life with...I can trust Mingyu to love me. Besides having with someone that you know is wrong for you is just ing amazing-”

    “Seunggwan please. Stop talking about Vernon.” Mingyu glared at his boyfriend. “You know I don’t like that kid…”

    Seunggwan waved his boyfriend off. “If we didn’t have history and you ever met him in real life, you’d like him.”

   “No, I wouldn’t, he sounds like a-”

    Wonwoo cleared his throat. “Last time I checked, we were here for me.”

    Mingyu sighed. “Listen to Seunggwan...date someone that makes you feel like they can rip your heart out of your chest any second, but they also make you feel like you’re on LSD all the time. Do something...wrong, something dirty...something that’ll break your heart so completely that it’ll rebuild as something brand new. You’ll be prepared for it. It won’t be as bad as the others, because that kind of love is not something...not something final, not something that you’ll hope to last. It’s going to tear you apart, but it’s refreshing. Don’t date someone you can see yourself with for the rest of your life, don’t date someone you want to grow old with. Date someone where everything you do is now and in the present. It’ll end...but it’ll be worth it. Get down and dirty, lose yourself so you can find yourself. You’re a serial committer. You always commit to someone and it never ends well.” Mingyu smiled. “We’ll be here for you every step of the way.”

    “...That sounds...new.”

    Seunggwan laughed loudly as he walked out of the kitchen. “Don’t worry about not being used to it...and I know you won’t know what to do, so we can get me and Junghan to find someone for you. We know everything about everyone.” He patted Wonwoo’s head. “Now, let my boyfriend go make dinner because I think I just managed to burn water.”

    Mingyu jumped up. “Seunggwan oh my God...how?!” And he ran off to the kitchen, his younger boyfriend trying to explain best to his ability.

    Wonwoo still sat on the couch. “Someone wrong…” He whispered to himself.

    Over the next few weeks, Wonwoo thought long and hard about what his friends told him he should do. He still couldn’t be sure about a decision, almost deciding to just stay single for the rest of his life. But first, he had to sit through the first day of his 2nd  year of college. Luckily, this year, he finally got an elective this year, and he decided to take an Art History course, because he loved art, and if something happened and he couldn’t get a job as an English teacher, he could always do Art.

    He picked a seat at the back of the small and nearly empty lecture room. He was 20 minutes early to class; always arriving on time, if not early, for everything, and laid his notebook and laptop out on the dest. Nearly 15 minutes later, the room started to fill up with students, and someone sat beside him. When he turned to look at whoever has occupied the previously empty seat, he had the breath knocked out of him at the almost otherworldly beauty of the man. His eyes looked over the man, he was facing the front of the room, brooding look on his face, wearing ripped jeans and a ripped shirt and a leather jacket that was extremely unnecessary because it was still hot out - but Wonwoo thanked the Gods for it because it looked damn good on his new classmate - and looking like he had partied too hard the night before, which unfairly was still a great look on this kid. The brunette rolled his head to stretch out a kink in neck, and Wonwoo saw hickeys littering the pale skin.

    As if sensing someone staring at him, the boy turned to look at Wonwoo. Wonwoo blushed and cleared his throat, his eyes look down and away. The man chuckled lowly, and mumbled something about Wonwoo being cute, which lead to Wonwoo blushing harder, ears turning red. “Hey…I’m Wen Junhui.” He held his hand out towards Wonwoo, and Wonwoo looked back up. Junhui’s eyes were slightly watery, and a little red, Wonwoo would’ve thought that the man had been crying earlier if it wasn’t for a faint scent of weed lingering around him. (Wonwoo wanted to thank Junhui for not smoking something overly skunky, the smell of skunky weed tends to make Wonwoo nauseous.)

    Wonwoo smiled and shook Junhuis hand. The feeling of their skin connecting sending shocks through his whole nervous system and chills down his spine. He continued to stare into the others eyes as he spoke, “I’m J-Jeon Wonwoo.” He his lips. “It’s uh...it’s nice too meet you…” He said shyly.

    Junhui let go of Wonwoo’s hand and leaned back a bit, as if taking in Wonwoo and his pastel yellow sweater in all of it’s glory. He gave a crooked smile. “It’s nice too meet you too. I hope we get to know each other more.”

    “M-me too…” And the Junhui finally looked away, leading Wonwoo too feel like he could breath again. Wonwoo looked to the front of the class, the Professor just beginning his introductory lecture, and began taking notes.

    30 minutes into the lecture, Wonwoo felt a tap on his left shoulder, he turned to see Junhui giving him a lazy smile. “Do you happen to have a writing utensil I can borrow?” He looked tired, but relaxed.

    Wonwoo nodded, and grabbed one of the extra pencils he had out on his desk, it was purple, and had little silver hearts all over it; a gift from Mingyu from valentine's day last year, he’d yet to of gotten to use it. “Here you go Junhui.” He smiled kindly, handing the drop dead gorgeous man the pencil.

    Junhui looked him up and down. “...Call me Jun.” He winked, and turned back to the front of the room.

    “O-okay...Jun…” And Wonwoo cleared his throat, trying to regain focus on the Professor.

    When the lecture had ended, Wonwoo almost ran for the door; not bothering to ask Jun for his pencil back, then waited outside of it for Mingyu, who had a class right across the hall that ended only 5 minutes after his own finished. They’d agreed to meet after their lectures then meet up with Seunggwan for lunch.  Wonwoo needed to tell Mingyu about Junhui.

    Right as he saw Mingyu’s class had ended and people started filing out of the room across from him, Junhui stepped in front of him, Wonwoo almost falling over in surprise. “May I see your notebook?” He asked with a smile.

   Wonwoo raised an eyebrow but handed over his notebook anyways. “Sure?” He watched as Junhui opened it, and started writing something on the inside of the front cover with his girly little heart pencil, before handing it back to him.

    Mingyu had just walked out of class and started making his way over to Wonwoo, a confused look on his face. Junhui smirked, again. “Thanks. I’ll see you next class.” And with that, he walked away, Wonwoo eyes never leaving him.

    Mingyu raised an eyebrow at Wonwoo, pointing to the still open notebook. Wonwoo followed his finger, a phone number scrawled out in large and slightly shaky handwriting. Wonwoo looked back down the hall, barely able to see Jun all the way at the other end of the hall, but, still able to find him. “Who was that?”

    “That, Mingyu...was the wrong one.”