Walking to her lonely apartment gave Nayeon an unsettling feeling, worse than that when she realised the recent occurrences. Jaehwan usually accompanied her to the door, kissed her on the forehead and wished her goodnight. A sinking feeling crept up on Nayeon when she knew she would never experience that again. It haunted her... insidious in nature and she was clueless on how her life would follow. The gloomy apartment didn’t help her unsettling feeling and she knew nothing would. Everything in the apartment just reminded her of Jaehwan and the worst thing was she didn’t know if the constant reminders of Jaehwan was a good or bad thing. Dropping her keys on the front counter she noticed a single red rose with a cream envelope next to it. The letter was addressed

To my dearest princess Nayeon

Nayeon obviously knew it was from Jaehwan, he was the only person who had keys to her apartment and it was common for him to call her his princess. She stared at it for awhile, contemplating whether to open it or not. If she opened the envelope would it make her even the slightest bit happy or would it make her even more upset on this gloomy day? Warm tears started falling down Nayeon’s cheek for the millionth time. Those promises they made to stay together, marry each other and finally move in were all long lost just like Jaehwan. All long lost… but definitely not forgotten. Nayeon’s heart pained and longed for Jaehwan’s smile to bring her out of her misery. She was lost without Jaehwan, he was her rock. When all was lost and she found out about Jaehwan it was like a rude awakening from a peaceful dream.

“Why the hell would he just leave…” Uncontrollable sobs overcame her as she threw her bag to the floor, clutching her heart and wanting this nightmare to end. “He just left me like this?!”

Nayeon began to hiccup, trying to control her crying. “I… need” She sniffled and quivered, barely finishing her sentence. “Jaehwan… that’s all I need”

She was a complete mess as she climbed up from the ground and made her way to the couch, cream envelope in her hand. Nayeon curled up into a ball and snuggled with the red fluffy blanket that reminded her of the times Jaehwan would place a blanket on the couch for scary movies. Whenever a scary part of the movie came Nayeon would duck her head into the blanket and Jaehwan would chuckle but always ended up giving her a kiss on the forehead. Reminiscing Jaehwan, fresh tears made their way down Nayeon’s face. Her eyes blurred the living room in front of her and soon she fell asleep on the couch. Since this afternoon Nayeon hadn’t realised how tired she had been, all she could think about was Jaehwan. She kept thinking about all the good memories she had with Jaehwan and the new bad memory that was fresh on her mind.

If Nayeon hadn’t been tired out from the day she would’ve been tossing and turning from her thoughts about Jaehwan. Early morning she had woken up, face sticky from her previous tears. Nayeon groaned with her groggy voice and stretched her arms and legs, realising she had fallen asleep on the couch. As she continued to stretch she heard a small crackle and realised the cream envelope was still laying beside her… coincidentally close to her heart.

She sat upright on the couch and held the envelope in her hands, her fingers smoothed out the edges as she questioned

“Should I open it?”

She her lips not knowing how she’d feel if she read the letter. Slowly she took a deep breath and placed the envelope down on the bench as she decided breakfast would make her feel better. Nayeon moped around the kitchen, eyebags clearly evident as she realised breakfast wasn’t helping her emotions at all. Her stomach wouldn’t settle the cereal, the milk gave her a churning feel yet she never had stomach problems due to milk and knew it was all because of Jaehwan.

“Jaehwan you…” She suddenly shouted, angry that her life had fallen apart. Anguish was written on her face as she tried to complete her rant but her voice became softer as she whispered “I love you so much… Jaehwan. I wish you were here”.

Nothing could really describe how she felt. One moment she blamed Jaehwan for everything, for leaving her, for making her believe her life was a fairytale when in reality it was the complete opposite. The next moment she blamed herself, wanting time to be turned back so she could do something… anything that would possibly have made him stay.

Silently, Nayeon tried to eat the rest of her cereal but everything tasted off, her cereal became soggy and she was left even more unsatisfied. Nothing was right. Her eyes kept shifting towards the cream envelope and the rose. The sweet smelling red rose, full of life and beauty contrasted Nayeon who sat sulking in darkness with a tearstained face and dark eyebags.

Ruining the silence of the room, her phone buzzed signalling someone had messaged her. Nayeon couldn’t help but feel even more upset knowing it would never be Jaehwan… even though he was always the first one to message in the mornings.

“Nayeon, open the door. I’m here.”

Nayeon was greeted by a simple message in which she followed and opened the front door to her apartment. Her older brother Hakyeon stood there, pity written across his face. Nayeon shuffled to the side and he quietly moved into her apartment, figuring out what he should say. He fiddled with his fingers as he stared at Nayeon who made her way to the couch without a word. Hakyeon followed in suit and sat beside her.

“I’m so sorry” His voice was so soft, not knowing if his words were the right things to say.

Suddenly Nayeon’s head turned to him “What? Sorry about what?” She gave him a judging look, eyes piercing Hakyeon’s skull with her eyebrows arched, she knew her brother was just trying to make her feel better, but nothing except Jaehwan could actually make her feel better.

Hakyeon’s eyes widened as he started waving his arms around and blurting out random incoherent sentences trying to fix the situation but Nayeon cut him off.

“Look you don’t have to be sorry about Jaehwan it was his decision”

Nayeon was being blunt and Hakyeon knew this wasn’t her true feelings. When their parents divorced Nayeon acted out that she was completely fine but on the inside she was a complete mess and Hakyeon recognised this was a similar situation. He rested his hand on her shoulder but she moved away, a frustrated look planted on her face.

“This isn’t like you Nayeon. Stop trying to push everyone away. Jaehwan meant the world to you. I know you’re feeling upset and it’s okay to feel that way”

“Jaehwan never meant the world to me. You’re talking bull” Her voice seethed with venom but Hakyeon was not fooled. He knew Jaehwan was her prince and will continue to be in her heart.

“Stop acting Nayeon. Jaehwan obviously meant something to you and you’re just trying to hide your true emotions”

Nayeon was hurt by Hakyeon’s words, obviously knowing Hakyeon said the truth. Tears formed in her eyes but she didn’t want to cry in front of her brother she wasn’t ready to let everyone know she was lost and confused. But her tears gave her away and Hakyeon pulled her into a hug, holding her head.

“You don’t get it… He broke up with me by committing suicide. How am I supposed to feel?” Nayeon whispered into Hakyeon’s chest, her voice strained as her tears soaked his sweater.

He hummed a sweet tune as he consoled Nayeon, continuously telling her Jaehwan truly loved her. Nayeon’s sobs became softer as she lifted her head from Hakyeon’s chest and mouthed her thanks. Hakyeon looked at his sodden sweater and crinkled his nose in an attempt to lighten the mood. Nayeon giggled slightly. She bit her inner cheek, not knowing what else to do. The siblings sat in silence, Nayeon’s head on Hakyeon’s shoulder. This is what she needed, a shoulder to cry on. Usually it would be Jaehwan but in this case her brother was the closest she could accept at the moment.

“What’s this?” Hakyeon motioned to the envelope with Jaehwan’s neat handwriting on it.

Nayeon sniffled, her nose congested from the amount of crying she had been doing, “Uhm…. Jaehwan left a message before you know…”

Hakyeon nodded knowingly in response and gave her a tissue which she accepted. He picked up the envelope and placed it in Nayeon’s shaking hands. She looked up and questioned him.

“Make sure you read it. It might give you some closure” Hakyeon wrapped a blanket around Nayeon’s shoulder before he made his way to the kitchen.

Nayeon watched Hakyeon weaving his way around the kitchen. She hesitated not sure if she wanted to hear Hakyeon’s answer to her next question  “... and what if it doesn’t?” Nayeon’s lips pursed as she sat there, feeling uncomfortable about Jaehwan’s letter.

“If it doesn’t then that’s fine. Jaehwan addressed it to his princess and he expects you to read it. Not everything is a fairytale ending” Not knowing Hakyeon would continue his sentence, Nayeon felt discouraged as she always wanted to live out her life like a fairytale. “Don’t feel discouraged. Not everything may be a fairytale ending but I know for sure this isn’t your fairytale ending yet”

He placed a cup of warm coffee on the table in front of her, squeezed her cheek and smiled. “You’re still Jaehwan’s princess but just because the prince is gone doesn’t mean your fairytale ends her”