"Look at the stars / look how they shine for you / and everything you do / they were all yellow." - yellow, coldplay

PRESENT

She lets out an involuntary shudder as the bitter liquid touches her tongue. She places the cup back on the table and adds some more creamer and sugar to the coffee, grimacing as she looks inside and sees it’s still pretty much dark. She sighs.

The coffee is one of the reasons why she hates hospitals so much. They always sell the blackest coffees. Also, there’s something just eerily creepy about hospitals. People die here. The moment you come in looking for medication, 74 percent of the time you’re not sure you’re coming out alive.

Another involuntary shudder as she imagines all the screaming and crying and breaking down happening in the emergency rooms right now and she wishes with all her might that she’ll never step foot there. Years of coming in this hospital to visit her best friend’s mother and she’s still not used to the stillness of the air.

A tall lady wearing a doctor’s coat stops in front of her. Looking up, she smiles. “Hey, weaker Nayoung.”

“Stop calling me that,” she mutters, taking a seat in front of her and looking down expressionlessly at the coffee. “Since when did you like bitterness?”

“Since I met you,” she replies drily, eyes half closed. She slides the cup across the table, stopping in front of her. “You like black coffee, don’t you? Drink it.”

She takes it. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m admitting someone here.”

A raised eyebrow, cup stopping close to the lips. “Who?”

“Um, remember Sejeong?”

Placing the cup carefully back on the table without a sip, she sighs. “How can I forget? Is she sick? Suhyun might’ve mentioned meeting her again a week ago or so. She never told me what changed though. She immediately latched on a story about Eunwoo getting them both arrested Friday night.”

Nayoung pinches the bridge of her nose; she never heard that story before. But of course her friends did something stupid again. “Why did they get arrested?”

“They played around in a store and put unpaid condoms on the other’s bag. They both went out and the alarms just, you know what alarms do. They paid for it immediately but apparently made some crude remark about the cashier's chest, so they still got arrested.”

“Those two idiots, I swear- anyway, they’re not the reason why I’m here.”

“I surely hope so,” she retorts, face still expressionless. “Their brains are damaged beyond repair. So, what is it? Is it Sejeong?”

“No, it’s Mina.”

“Mina?” She looks at her expectantly and Nayoung knows that if it was Heehyun she was talking to and not the other Nayoung, she would’ve already been smacked on the head for not answering clearly.

“Sejeong’s child. She has a hole in her heart.”

Im places the cup back on the table and folds her hands. “That’s not such a bad thing. Some holes close on their own as the child grows up. But, I assume Mina’s haven’t?” Nayoung nods. “A surgery is needed, of course you know that. It’s a pretty easy process and this hospital has 99 percent good results.”

Again, like one of those head bobbing animals on cars, she nods. “I know, I researched. I just- I need to ask you a favor.”

“What is it?” she asks, looking up her eyelashes at her same-name friend. She never liked asking for favors before, and she’s sure she haven’t changed.

“I need you to be one of the doctors in charge.”

She puts the cup back on the table and gives her a blank stare, but there’s some kind of sympathy hidden underneath. “Kim, I am not yet licensed to-”

“I just need someone I know and trust to take care of her.”

She stares at her, scrutinizing her. And after a long moment, she shrugs. “You can trust all doctors here.”

“I only need the best doctors for her.”

“Kim Nayoung, a hole in the heart is not that big of a deal.”

Nayoung’s expressions quickly changes. “Not that big of a deal? There’s a freaking hole in her heart where it shouldn’t be, how can that be ‘not that big of a deal’?”

“It’s not like cancer or anything.”

“Of course it’s not like cancer, it’s a ing hole in her-”

“You need to chill.”

Her frown deepens as she looks at her friend. “Since when do you say ‘chill’? Did Pinky teach you this? Which reminds me, where is she? She’s a nurse in the children’s ward, isn’t she? She has to be part of the team managing Mina’s surgery.”

“She’s busy with the wedding planning, remember?”

She returns her gaze stubbornly, as she always does when it comes to this girl who supposedly ‘stole’ her name. “Then what are you doing here? Are you letting your future wife deal with all the pre-wedding madness by herself? Because I’m telling you, that girl is bat crazy already, you can’t let her-”

“Eunwoo’s helping her.”

Her gaze falters and she frowns. “Eunwoo? Eunwoo, like, our Eunwoo is helping her? Pinky’s childhood friend, Eunwoo?”

“I’m pretty sure she’s the only Eunwoo we both know, yes.”

Nayoung almost laughs. If Eunwoo’s hosting a farewell party for her dying heart, she wants in. She shakes her head in disbelief; why on Earth did God put five complete love idiots in one group? Who the will kick their asses every time they mess up like this – which, by the way, happens every single day?

She directs her gaze back at the doctor in training and wonders if she really doesn’t know that Eunwoo’s embarrassing teenage love for Pinky is still alive and kicking (her poor heart, probably). “That would be a disaster.”

Im shrugs, face expressionless. Nayoung leans forward to try to decipher her but to no avail. Even after growing up with each other, Im is still excellent at hiding things. But of course, there are some slight changes in her eyes that only a friend like Nayoung can see. “Suhyun’s also helping with the cupcakes. Anyway, have you talked to Dr. Ki?”

She’s changing the subject, it’s obvious. But Nayoung lets her because she’s a grown woman and can take care of herself quite well. (Eunwoo, on the other hand, she can only shake her head to.) “She’s busy right now.”

“Has Heehyun talked to her?”

She inhales deeply and shakes her head as she blows it out through semi-pursed lips. “Not since the day she told her she’d take care of Chaeyeon’s child, no.”

“Have you talked to your mom?”

“Eh.” She shrugs, feigning lack of concern. “Heehyun’s talking to her.”

“When did you exchange mothers?” Im asks, exasperation lacing her words. “You know, maybe you should­ just-”

Nayoung abruptly raises her wrist, obnoxiously making a scene out of looking at her watch. Im rolls her eyes. “Ah, look at the time. Gotta go, weaker Nayoung.”

“You know, placing adjectives before a name doesn’t make it sound ‘cool’.”

“I can’t hear you over the ice surrounding my hotness, weaker Nayoung.” She quickly gets up and hugs Im tightly from behind, inhaling the scent of her friend whom she hasn’t seen in at least a month. “I missed you slightly weaker Nayoung. I trust you’ll only have the best results for Mina, okay?”

Im nods, patting Nayoung’s cheeks awkwardly. Nayoung laughs at how awkward they are despite being friends since they were five, but hey, that’s the beauty of their friendship. She stands up straight and pats her head, an action that the younger used to hate. And still hate, apparently, as she slaps her hand away with a scowl. “Alright, bye Im. I’ll go talk to Better Ki.”

-

She walks through the halls of the hospital, her feet taking her to Dr. Ki’s office unconsciously. It kinda makes her sad how she’s so familiar with everything in this hospital yet Heehyun, the real daughter, hasn’t been here since five year ago. But then again, Heehyun visits Nayoung's mom every week and most probably memorized every corner in the entertainment agency's building.

She tries to shakes the sadness off her body as she walks past Dr. Ki’s assistant with a smile. She enters the office without knocking and finds the woman stacking papers on the desk, frantically looking for something.

“Hey, Better Ki.”

She looks up and instantly smiles. Nayoung feels some sort of warmth wash over her, the feeling she always imagined little her feeling every time her mother came home from work. “Kim dear, what brings you here? It’s been two months since you last came. You need something?”

She smiles and hugs Heehyun’s mom. “I’m sorry, the studio’s really busy these days.”

“I understand. At least you visit.” She sees the sadness hidden deep within the lady’s eyes and wonders how she can hide it so well. “Where are Suhyun and Eunwoo? Those two never visit me. I see Dr. Im all the time. She’s really good, y’know, all the doctors are-”

“Heehyun’s doing great,” she interrupts, knowing that’s all Dr. Ki actually wants to hear, “And Chaeyeon’s also doing great, you probably know.” She drops a pointed gaze at the opened magazine on the Doctor’s table where Chaeyeon is posing and an interview about her family is printed. “Dani’s still being corrupted by your child. She’s a sweet little girl, really – takes after her better mom. But sometimes her other mom teaches her bad things.”

Dr. Ki nods, face unreadable. “I don’t need to know about them.”

“Yeah? Why? Because you think you know them so well by reading all of Chaeyeon’s magazine interviews?” She walks past her and settles on the chair in front of the table, grabbing a few candies from the tray. “Heehyun will forgive you, just… just ask.”

“Will you forgive your mother?”

Of course she won’t. She rolls her eyes, candy halfway to her lips. “No, but we’re a different case from you. My mom abandoned me when I was 11. You abandoned Heehyun when she made a mistake which clearly turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Dani and Chaeyeon make her happy, you know.”

She hears a sigh and waits for the older woman to sit on front of her, the sadness now reaching the surface of her eyes. “I know they do. I’ve never seen her so happy.” Her gaze is on the magazine, on that one particular picture with Heehyun and Dani.

Nayoung follows her gaze. “The pictures can’t compare to the happiness you can see personally. I mean, she’s an and of course I don’t want her to be that happy, but I’m glad she’s happy. You’d be too if you see her laughing every time Dani runs to Chaeyeon to tell on her.”

“I know I will be.” She looks up at Nayoung. “What brings you here?”

“Oh, right. I’m admitting someone here.”

“Who?”

“I told you about Sejeong before right?”

A thoughtful look crosses her face, then a teasing smirk appears. Nayoung groans, the two Ki’s are too familiar when being s. “That girl you were so in love with?”

“Correction: I loved her, she never loved me back. So, it’s not ‘with’ but an entirely more tragic term.”

“Fine, fine, you tragic little girl. So, what’s wrong with her?”

“She… she gave birth here, right?”

“Four years ago? Yeah, I think so.”

“Why didn’t you see the hole in the kid’s heart?”

Her gaze flicks to the girl’s face and a frown mars her face. “A hole? I don’t- we always fix those as soon as we see them. How come-”

“She left as soon as she can, huh?” Nayoung scoffs, heart constricting despite the blank expression on her face. “Probably didn’t want to see me.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” She fakes a smile and inwardly grimaces at how much she’s faking it these days. “Anyway, I need Mina to be treated by the best doctors in this hospital. And Im and Pinky to be part of that team.”

“A hole in the heart isn’t that-”

“I know, I researched. But I just- I’m still scared okay? I just want the best for her and I need her heart to be healed the same way mine can never be.”

“Oh, geez, do you write the songs Eunwoo sings?”

“Stop being an ,” she mutters, face red. “Besides, have you heard about Eunwoo helping Pinky with the wedding? I’m pretty sure her is more tragic than mine.”

She laughs, eyes crinkling in that manner only a strong old lady’s would. Nayoung feels a rush of protectiveness and pride towards her and wonders if her mother never left her, would she feel the same towards her?

“I know all about the wedding plans. Dr. Im cannot stop talking about it.”

She crinkles her nose at the term. “She’s not even a doctor yet.”

“She will be soon. And I know she’ll be great. Anyway, I can help with the child’s heart. I’ll give her to the best heart doctor in this hospital. His name’s Dr. Jang Keunsuk.”

The name rings a bell and she thinks it’s one of those doctors Im is always talking about whenever they meet up. She’s just not sure whether she talks good things or bad things. But of course, this is Dr. Ki who thinks he’s the best, so he probably is. “Great. Thank you. Just… thank you.”

“Anything for you, dear.” She looks down with that expression on her face that Nayoung knows too well. “She was asking about you.”

And she knows who ‘she’ is. “Oh, she can talk? Funny, she never talked to me in years.”

“She’s just scared.”

“Much like how you are?” Hurt flashes in her eyes and Nayoung suddenly wants to close her lips but she can’t. “She found a daughter in Heehyun, I found a mom in you. Can’t we just stay like this?”

“Darling, you know that’s not-”

“I know I’m not enough. I know Heehyun’s still who you both want. And that’s okay, because if I were to pick between me and Heehyun, I’d also pick Heehyun.” She opens to counter but Nayoung immediately raises her wrist the same manner she did with Im. “I need to pick up Sejeong and Mina. I’ll see you next time.”

She walks out the office with a heavy heart and stares just straight ahead as she tries to remember her mother’s face. It’s fading, and there are no pictures around to make it clearer.

So as she walks to her car and drives to Suhyun’s cupcake shop, she lets her mother’s smile fade from her thoughts.

-

She walks in Suhyun’s cupcake shop, rolling her eyes at the sign in front as she always does. Who on Earth names their cupcake shop “The Ministry of Cupcakes”? Only Suhyun, of course. She glances around the shop, resisting the urge to roll her eyes again at the over the top Harry Potter themed interior and the bad spell puns written on random corners.

She is greeted by the cashier, Juna, “Yo, Nayoung.”

All she does is wave because she knows Juna will do all the talking anyway. And she does. “I hear from the big boss that you’ve got some love interest from the past coming back?” Of course Suhyun just cannot keep shut. “I hope that doesn’t mean you’re going to bail on your date this Wednesday.”

Her eyebrows meet and she sends Juna a confused look. “What date?”

“I can’t believe you forgot,” Juna exclaims, husky voice breaking. Then she smirks and Nayoung is slightly scared. She reaches in the pocket of her jeans and takes out a piece of paper and hands it to Nayoung. “You agreed to go on a blind date with one of my friends. You even signed an agreement.”

She mentally slaps herself. How could she forget? Juna spent an entire hour ignoring costumers and showing Nayoung just how miserable her single life is just so she'll agree on a date. “I can’t, I’m engaged.”

“You weren’t last week. And I’ve got your signature. Besides, we pinky promised.” She leans over the counter with a look that’s a mix between a glare and a challenge. “You never break a pinky promise. That’s the eleventh commandment.”

When has she ever won an argument against Juna anyway? Nayoung tries to recall at least one time but her mind can only draw a blank. Juna’s the very first worker that Suhyun employed in the cupcake shop and has done nothing but infuriate and win arguments against Nayoung since.

“Fine. But a deal’s a deal, and it says here in your crappy handwriting that you’re paying for the food.”

“Sure, get the cashier who has no cash to pay for the food even though you’re rich as and own your own photography studio.” The sarcastic look on her face is quickly replaced by a eating grin and Nayoung wonders how does it. “But you know what? Since I’m the most loyal person ever and will fight an entire ship of pirates to death just to make you happy, I’ll pay for it.”

“You won’t fight an entire ship of pirates for me. You won’t even jog down the block for me.”

Juna winks. “True, true. But I will pay for the food because I really need you to go on a date with my friend. She’s been miserable since her ‘one true love’ in college left.”

“What’s her name?”

“Why should I tell you? That takes the fun out of blind dates.” Another wink. Nayoung starts to worry about her eyelids and contemplates whether she should bring her to Dr. Ki’s hospital or not.

She obviously won’t because Juna’s been doing nothing but driving Nayoung up the wall since they’ve met. She glowers at the cashier. “You er, fine. Just get your boss already so we can leave.”

“Aye aye captain.” Another wink and Nayoung almost reaches across the table to scratch her eye out but Juna quickly leaves the counter and walks up to call her boss.

She sighs and wonders when the idiots in her life will be replaced with better citizens.

-

“Where are we picking them up?” Suhyun asks her, hands on the wheel.

Nayoung takes her phone out and reads Sejeong’s last text. “It’s… beside the amusement park we first saw Mina in.” She receives two raised eyebrows but she just shrugs. “All our questions will be answered once we get there, okay?”

“Why are you even doing this?” Eunwoo asks from beside Suhyun, eyes trained out the moving scenery. “Sejeong hurt you like a thousand times, you still haven’t got enough of it?”

“Why are you helping Pinky with the wedding then? Are you hoping for a miracle or are you suicidal?”

And maybe she shouldn’t have said that because Eunwoo immediately stiffens and becomes quiet and Suhyun sends her a glare. But maybe her friends should learn how to stop holding on to things that don’t want to be held. Maybe they should stop being like Nayoung, because she knows it’s sooner or later going to tear their heart apart and she doesn’t want them to go through the same pain she went through the moment Sejeong walked out of her life.

She mutters a small sorry and just sinks low in her seat, staring out the window and wondering why people have to suffer so much because of love.

-

They reach the amusement park in silence and with Suhyun’s awkward stares flicking from Nayoung to Eunwoo and back.

“So, um, where are we supposed to find them?” Suhyun asks, peeking inside at the colorful rides and screaming kids holding huge toys and tired adults getting dragged by said kids.

“Kitty!”

Turning around at the familiar voice, they find Mina waving her hands excitedly at them, an unfamiliar woman behind her. “Is that them?” Mina nods as the woman scrutinizes them. “Huh, she could’ve done better.” She gestures at them to go to her with two lazy fingers.

They do. “Hey, Mina,” Nayoung greets the kid who smiles at her with that adorable smile only kids can have. She looks back up at the woman. “I’m Nayoung, these are Suhyun and Eunwoo, and you are?”

“Chungha.” Her voice is clipped and Nayoung hears Suhyun whisper ‘rude’. The woman – Chungha – directs her cold gaze on her and she immediately fakes a smile. “Anyway, follow me.”

Eunwoo and Suhyun cower behind Nayoung as they follow Chungha and Mina around the amusement park. It seems like Chungha knows this place by heart and Nayoung starts to think that maybe she lives here. And as she remembers the address Sejeong gave her, maybe they do too.

They maneuver through the crowd and rides and arrive in front of a cabin at the far end, just behind an old ride that’s not being used anymore.

“You live here?” she asks her, lips curled in distaste. “Why?”

Chungha stares at her with that same cold eyes, but now it turned colder. “I’m so sorry, princess, not everyone has parents as rich as yours. Not everyone is spoon fed until they’re fifteen and still cower at the sound of their full names coming from their father’s belt.”

“Alright, that is over the line-” she places an arm to stop Eunwoo from stepping forward. “Nayoung, she just-”

“I know what she did.” She gives Chungha a smile, she gets a blank look in return. “I’m sorry for questioning your life choices. Can we go see Sejeong now?”

A shrug and a jerk of the chin towards the cabin. She takes uncertain steps towards the door and slowly turns the knob.

“This isn’t a horror movie, rich girl, no ghost will come out.”

“Of course I know that,” she grumbles, pushing the door forward.

She is greeted by the sight of Sejeong sitting on a suitcase and trying to close it on her own. She coughs and Sejeong looks up, embarrassed. “Hey guys. That's Chungha, another one of the performers here. Chungha, you know who they are.” Chungha rolls her eyes before plopping down on the couch and staring at her trying to close the suitcase. “It won’t close.”

“Probably because it’s almost going to burst,” Eunwoo tells her before coming forward to take out a few clothes. “Don’t you have another bag?”

“Uh, no. They’re also filled with other things.”

“I have an extra one you can use.”

Nayoung doesn’t pay attention to them, her mind is on the slightly filthy couch and the old TV and the cold, hard ground. She’s not judging, just wondering. Wondering what would’ve happened if Sejeong never left? Would they live on Nayoung’s apartment? Would she have been there as Mina grows up? Would a lot change?

She starts to feel bad for everything they’ve been through. Sleeping in a cabin in an amusement park probably filled with cockroaches and rats isn’t what she wanted for Mina. But then again nothing about what she wanted for Mina happened, she has a hole in her heart for crying out loud.

“Hey, we’re ready,” Sejeong tells her, a hand placed on her shoulder.

She nods. “Let’s go, Mina. Say goodbye to Chungha.” Mina’s eyes turn wide and watery. Nayoung panics. “What did I do?”

Sejeong sends her an assuring smile as she walks over to Mina and wipes the tears just about to fall. “She hates the word g-o-o-d-b-y-e.”

Suhyun whispers something to Eunwoo, making her look at her incredulously before whispering her reply. Nayoung knows the dumber of the two just asked what g-o-o-d-b-y-e is. She ignores them. “Why?”

“I… don’t know. But we don’t say it here because she throws a tantrum whenever she hears it. The only reason she’s not throwing one now is because there are more strangers than familiar faces in this house.”

“I’m not a stranger," is her insulted reply.

Sejeong rolls her eyes. “Let’s go now? Chungha, see you.”

The girl hugs Mina and Sejeong and watches them leave. Nayoung has a feeling she won’t be treated so nicely by this girl and wonders if this is what Sejeong feels whenever Heehyun glares at her. She shrugs it off, she doesn't need to impress anyone, this is just temporary.

-

As her hand reaches for the door knob of her apartment, she pauses. “Hey, is Mina afraid of animals?”

“Uh, no,” Sejeong replies. “She’s actually fond of them, why?”

“Great.” She opens the door and they’re greeted by a furry friend jumping on Nayoung, she quickly catches it. “I have two dogs, one cat, and several fishes.”

“See how sad she is?” Eunwoo says as she passes by them and enters Nayoung’s apartment with one of the suitcases.

Suhyun follows her, a frown on her face. “Hey, animals don’t equal sadness, especially if the person who gave it equals happiness. Which is me, Sejeong, just so you know.”

“I kinda caught on, yes.” She tries to walk in but Mina stays in her place, eyes afraid of the unfamiliar surroundings. “Hey, it’s okay, baby. It’s just Nayoung’s apartment.”

Just Nayoung’s apartment. Well, of course, it couldn’t be called home yet anyway. She waits for Mina and Sejeong to enter before following them with Simba in her arms.

Nayoung kneels in front of Mina and shows her Simba. “Hey, um, this is Simba.”

Mina waves skeptically, and mutters, “King Simba.”

“What?”

“I think she’s saying you should’ve named Simba Mr. Puffyhair,” Suhyun yells from the kitchen, probably tearing through her fridge again.

Again, she ignores her. “What did you say, Mina?”

“King Simba. He’s a king.”

She quirks an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Because we’re all kings and queens and princes and princesses,” She says, stumbling over her words just a little. She points at Sejeong. “Mommy’s a queen.”

“That she is.” She catches a glimpse of the husky behind the sofa. “Hey, wanna name my new dog?”

Another doubtful look, cheeks puffing and lips pouting. But she nods anyway and follows Nayoung to the couch. “This dog?” She asks, patting the dog’s fur slowly. “Can I call him King too?”

“Of course.”

“King Pegasus.”

“Why the hell- alright.” She sees Sejeong smirking at her, she glares back. “Fine, we’ll call him King Pegasus.”

She introduces her to Blair (whom Mina keeps calling ‘Brr’ because Blair is too complicated for her) and her fishes: Nemo, Dory, and Deb (which are all clownfish and Mina frowns at their names).

She keeps Mina company while Eunwoo and Suhyun help Sejeong unpack. After they finish, they leave.

Sejeong sits next to them on the couch. “We’ll sleep here.”

“Wait, here here? You have to sleep on the bed,” Nayoung quickly argues. “I mean, Mina has to.”

“What about you then? You only have on bedroom here.”

“Well, I never found the use of another bedroom. We can all sleep on my bed, it’s big enough for all three of us.”

“Nayoung-”

“Look, if we’re going to try to make this fake engagement thing work, we have to be comfortable with sleeping on one bed. We used to do it all the time anyway during thunderstorms when it was too scary to sleep in our own beds alone, remember?”

“Fine.” There’s that pout she missed so much. “Hey, um, I have a singing gig in a coffee shop this night. Can you, I’m really sorry, but can you take care of Mina while I’m gone?”

“What time do you need to go?”

“I need to be there at 8 pm.”

Nayoung looks at the clock Suhyun gave her as a Christmas gift, one with Suhyun’s faces instead of numbers. She frowns. “It’s already 7.”

“Exactly, I have to leave now.”

She tries not to panic.

She does panic. “I can’t take care of Mina on such short notice I don’t even know what she’s allowed to have and what she’s-”

“She has to be asleep by at least 8:30 so all you need to do is clean her up and tuck her in. She can usually sleep on her own.”

“But-”

Sejeong’s phone rings and she gives her an apologetic look. “I really need to go now. I need this gig. I trust you, okay?” Nayoung knows she can’t ever say no to Sejeong when she looks like that. So she doesn’t and just watches Sejeong kiss Mina on the cheek and tell her she’s going to buy something outside, and leave with her own duplicate of the keys and without saying the word goodbye.

As soon as the door slams close, Mina locks eyes with her. Now, maybe she’s overreacting but she swears she feels some sort of energy flow through where their gazes meet. And it’s not the good kind. It’s like Mina’s asking her if she can really take care of her this whole night.

She wishes she can, she kinda knows she can’t.

-

It’s almost 10 PM and Mina’s still wide awake and watching horrible cartoons on the TV. She can’t help it, every time she says the word ‘sleep’, Mina just looks at her with those wide eyes and pouting lips and chubby cheeks. Who can say no to that?

(Damn it, it runs in the family.)

“Mina, we have to sleep,” she mutters, begs even, eyes tired from watching TV too much. “Your mother will kill me once she finds out you’re still not asleep.”

“I’m not sleepy,” is always her reply, and is still reply this time.

Nayoung sighs. She wasn’t there to influence Mina but why does it seem like she takes after her insomnia?

A light bulb lights up in her head as she remembers what she used to do when she can’t sleep. “Hey, hey kid. Go find your jacket, we’re going somewhere.”

-

She drives to the beach near the apartment, ignoring Mina’s countless questions of ‘are we there yet?’ She gets out the car and helps Mina out too, handing her the pillows and taking the blankets. “Let’s go.”

“Where?”

“Just follow me. You have too many questions.”

“Mommy says kids with many questions are smart.”

She glares at her. “Mommy is wrong, okay?”

“Mommy is never wrong.”

“Fine, just follow me.”

She leads her near the shore and spreads the blanket on the sand. She plops down on it and Mina mimics her. “What are we doing here?”

“Look up the stars.”

“Why?”

“Because the stars will sing you a lullaby to sleep.”

Mina frowns. “Stars can’t sing.”

Nayoung drops her jaw, acting insulted. “They can too!”

“They can’t.”

“They can. They have breathing lungs and pumping hearts.”

“They’re not alive.”

“Yes, they are,” she insists, then she points up at one star. “That’s Sirius. You know him?” Mina shakes her head. “He’s the best of the Marauders.”

She continues pointing at stars and telling Mina their names, even showing her how to find constellations despite the blank look on her face whenever she utters the big words. While she was talking about the stars, Mina sat on her lap and she just stayed there, listening to Nayoung’s made up fairy tales about the moon and the stars and the constellations.

It’s not until her head dips that Nayoung realizes she’s asleep. She smiles to herself and twists Mina so she can cradle her. Her gaze magnets back to the sky and memories of their old apartment and the old mattress and Sejeong’s fingers threading hers cloud her mind.

She doesn’t know how long she was staring at the sky, but she sees the time on her phone once it rings, it’s almost 2 AM. She swipes a finger and puts it on speaker. “Hey.”

“Where are you? Why aren’t you at your house? Where’s Mina?”

“Relax. I’m at the beach near the apartment. It’s just a few blocks to the left of it. You’ll probably have to take a cab though. Come here if you want, I’ll meet you beside my car.”

“Why are you­-”

“I’ll only entertain the questions once you’re here.”

She hears a sigh and a click. She chuckles. Still impatient, huh. She looks at Mina and smiles, something warm and unexplainable overwhelming her heart. She tries to stand up with Mina still in her arms but with strength as weak as hers and a body as healthy as Mina’s, that’s obviously impossible.

She sighs and calls Sejeong, speaking before she even say ‘hello’. “On second thought, meet me on the shore. Your kid’s heavy, takes after you, I suppose.”

“Hey­-”

“See ya.” She bites back a laugh just imagining the annoyed look on Sejeong’s face. She knows she should stop acting like nothing changed in four years if she wants her heart to survive this whole mess, but she can’t help it. Old habits die hard.

A few minutes later, she sees a silhouette making its way to her, and few moment later she sees the annoyed look she was just imagining a while ago. “I am not heavy, okay?”

She smiles. “Hello to you too, Sejeong.”

Sejeong takes Mina from her and she folds the blankets and pillows. Then she asks for Mina from Sejeong. “Why?”

“I just want to carry her,” Nayoung sheepishly answers, and Sejeong hands Mina to her with a smile she’s trying to hide. “Also, there is sand on the blanket and I hate it.”

“Of course,” Sejeong grumbles, rolling her eyes. She picks up the blankets and they start walking. “Why are you here?”

“Well, your kid didn’t want to sleep. I swear she’s too young to have insomnia, what have you done to her?” Sejeong opens but she doesn’t let her speak. “Anyway, I always went here when I couldn’t sleep. So I took her here and just… told her stuff. She fell asleep while I was telling her the myth about Orion.” She clicks her tongue in annoyance. “She lacks respect for the intelligent stuff, I see, much like her mother.”

Sejeong only smiles, eyes trained up at the stars.

There’s something about this whole situation that’s very familiar, or maybe it’s just the feeling. She thinks it may just be the feeling of warmth and comfort. She chooses to ignore the complaints of her heart, the screams of terror, the inevitability of pain as she walks to her car with Mina snuggling her cheek to her shoulder and Sejeong looking up at the skies with a peaceful smile, their footsteps left behind, proof that they were there, and they may not have been happy, but they were contented at least.

And even though those footsteps will fade, and the memories do too, the feeling in Nayoung’s heart, she’s sure she’ll never forget.

Because it’s the feeling of coming home.

-

She feels a poke on her cheek, and another, and another. She wonders when Simba grew fingers and lost his claws. The thought circles her mind a few more times before she realizes that’s impossible and that means there’s a stranger in her house. She opens her eyes, alarmed.

And she finds brown eyes staring back at her, curving almost as soon as she opens them. “Good morning, Nayoung.”

She squishes her eyes close the opens them again, still clouded with sleep. She smells pancakes cooking and feels something furry trying to snuggle her hand. As her eyes adjust to waking up, she sees Mina smiling at her. “Mina, oh. Good morning.”

“Mommy’s cooking breakfast and she wants you to wake up and eat.” She holds out a hand which Nayoung takes and drags the grown woman to the kitchen. “Mommy, Nayoung’s awake.”

Nayoung’s gaze lands on the pet feeders and sees that they’re half full, she glances at the aquarium and sees fish food floating, she looks up and sees Sejeong smiling warmly at her. “Morning.”

“Morning. I cooked breakfast, hope you don’t mind.”

“Oh, no. I don’t mind at all,” she murmurs, sleep still evident in her voice.

She pets the husky – King Pegasus – as she stares at Sejeong cooking and Mina waiting patiently by her side.

She can’t help the smile breaking out on her face, because she really doesn’t mind waking up to this every morning. And maybe it doesn’t matter that it’s temporary. She grabs the iPad she keeps in the kitchen for when she’s searching up recipes and snaps a picture of the two.

This whole pretending might be temporary, but the pictures aren’t, and she’s determined to take as many as she can even though she knows it’ll hurt to look at once this ends.

But she doesn’t care, because sometimes it’s okay to just dwell in the now and forget about the pain she’s bound to feel in the future

A/N:

This turned out to be so much longer than I planned, I'm sorry if this was a boring chapter. I needed to include it to introduce some of the conflicts. Thanks for reading!