jaemjug was finally coming home. after 2 long year in the most difficult of militarry tasks he was finally going to be relieve of his duty. military band was no joke. if you think the navy is tough hear this: you have to pracetice all night long blowing the trombone and if you mess up the officer in charge hit you until you get it right. sometimes the soldier playing the piccolo next to jaemjug play the wrong note but jaemjug got wrongly punished by accident instead. what a tough job. jaemjug cheeks always sore and red like a ripened cherry tomato from blowing as hard as he can by the end of the night. despite being a very busy man in the military army of the republic of south korea jamejug had a bit of free time for some very important task. firstly he got his braces after 30 years of living. his teeth already perfectly straight but he decide to get bottom braces because he have money to spend. he also get his top dentures put in so they shine whiter than the stars. it look like one big tooth grill made from pearl. second he wear his military flag patch up side down with his gucci watch to start big scandal in south korea media so he can stay relevant. third he get a new tattoo on hand to show everyone he work very hard in the military band and have no time for extra curricular activities. jaemjug didn't want people to think he was like bark yishmoop who spend days in the public service office filling his lungs with coal and flirting with massage parlour employees on the kakao talk. what a embarrasment. 

but today was finally the day he come home to his empty mansion. thousands of fans had gather in the acrtic tundra in the wee hour of the AM to greet their oppa. after what seem like a eternity jaemjug show up in his uniform and military cap. no gucci watch this day and he place korean flag patch right side up this time so the media couldn't nab his wig this time. jaemjug look at the fan as puff clouds of smoke emerged from his mouth since it cold as balls. he thought he wasn't getting pay enough to stand here and greet them in this antarctic weather. he mumble under his breath how stupid his fans are but they mistake it for him say saranghae so he flash his horse teeth and make a salute so they will continue to love him and spend money on his overprice memorbelia. then it time for a show so jaemjug crank out the tears as fast he can almost a minute after he arrival. but the tears were real because he have not yet popped on the new nose for the new year and time is running out. he also need to raise fund for the procedrue so he dip from the discharge area in his limo and change into moldir attire at speed of light so his fans will go online and buy more. 

later he run into foreign fan name sofie. sofie wear her moldir bornfreeipiss sweatshirt that costed 1,000 dollars. jaemjug smile and think he glad stupid fan like sofie exist to spend money on his bootleg designs. jaemjug give sofie a little wink before introducing himself. he feeling a bit smug knowing that she a big fan and decide to a little. 'sofie i wish all my fan were as beautiful as you' sofie smile and jaemjug know she fall for his charm. 'can i tell you a secret' sofie say. jaemjug smirk to himself knowing she probably want to give her cheesy confession. all fan say the same dum thing he thought so he lean in and put his ear next to sofie mouth to listen. sofie whisper softly "micky yoochun is still more relevant than you. better looking too. sorry the surgery didn't go well oppa. happy new year" and she walk off in search of micky park brown public office to deliver a special gift of love from her wallet. jaemjug stand in the street very shock at what he just hear, but since he no longer relevent the story ends here.

END.