It was a beautiful occasion. Yunho’s dog Taepoongie was to be married. Yunho wanted to celebrate by making the most beautiful wedding cake imaginable, but he'd have to practice first and he would need the help of his trusty hand man, Chimpmig. It had been a while since Chimpmig had finally agreed to move back into the apartment with him. It had taken a lot of persuasion, but Chimpmig was finally swayed with the promise of free food (food bought and paid for, that is). And according to Yunho, things seemed to be going well lately. Chimpmig rolled his eyes as Yunho flamboyantly tied a strawberry shortcake character apron around his waist. His horse thighs jutted out from the sides and cause the apron to wrinkle up. Chimpmig eyed his watch, wondering how he had gotten himself into such a shameful predicament. The world knew Yunho's cooking was comparable to the slop Yishmoop duked into the slosher after eating a week old hoagie. But even worse he knew that tasting Yunho's fungus muck could immediately catapult anyone into the final stages of rigor mortis. 

Yunho cracked each egg with the gracefulness of a freshly birthed walrus skating on ice. Chimpmig eyed the bowl full of yoke and egg shells with utter disgust. 

"It's ok Chimpmiggie, a bit of shell won't hurt anyone. Let's just mix in the butter. An added crunch can be good for the pallet." 

Before Chimpmig could lift a finger, Yunho was mixing the contents with a withered micky park yishmoop lightstick that had a thick coating of dust covering the white designs printed on the front of it. Chimpmig's lips quivered in his rage as Yunho dipped one of his crusted tendrils into the mixture to give it a quick taste, after giving it the old whisk. After a slick nod of approval at his work, Yunho added what he thought was the sugar, but was really Jakeem's secret meth stash. Yunho began humming as he mistook robitussin for the vanilla extract and finalized the lethal batter for the oven. With a swift movement he shoved the pan in the oven like Jakeem shoves the fillers up his nose and turned to face his not so enthused baking partner. 

"Well, you know what they say Chimpmiggy....Always bake the cake."

Chimpmig was too busy devising the best time to carve out Yunho's internal organs so as not to be found out by the local police. He knew he could probably get a good price for them on the black market if he went about it the right way. Yunho pinched Changmin's plastic honker to re-gain his attention. This earned him a slap to the face, which caused his gorilla nostrils to flap open and cause a great wind. Everything blew off the counter and the house shook. Chimpmig held onto yunho knowing his 600 pound body would not be affected by the great winds. When the snuffler typhoon was over the oven dinged to signal the cake's completion. Yunho proudly pulled the grisly gunk out of the cooker and placed it on the counter. The wallpaper began buckling from the stench. 

"Holy , that's worse than the dairy dookies yishmoop puts out on his worst night"

...chimpmig wrinkled his nose as much as the plastic surgery procedure would allow. Yunho, clearly hurt, shoved a piece of the demonspawn putridity down Chimpmig's throat, causing him to regurgitate it immediately back into his fellow member's calloused paws. 

"I'd rather slurp from Yishmoop's sewage pipes than eat the rotted putrefaction you just cursed my tastebuds with. You can't do anything right you in irrelevant . You dance like a ing orangutan in heat, you sing like you've had a in headcold and sudden intake of helium even though they only give you two in lines, and you can't even cook a in cake."

Yunho was not please with the cold tea Chimpmig was serving up tonight. With a confident billow Yunho clapped back.

"Irrelevant? Message me back when you have a whole article devoted to your you skeleton lookin lipped . By the way, everyone knows you got your in nose done the bridge is taller than the in burj kalifa. Keep your shirt on too, the fans are tired of looking at your sweaty shaped belly button, no one wants to see that hairy puckered mess. Talk to jakeem about getting it bleached."

With that, Yunho sashayed out of the kitchen with his cake and left chimpmig there to question if his looks were almost as tragic as jaffit's.

THE END