White.

 

It was a blank horizon that trailed on in her sight, ceasing to never end. Just the desolate empty space left hanging, drowning in the still silence like a desert. The scenery was nothing but a colorless tone screaming that something wasn't right. A mix of emotions swirl in the pit of her stomach in a jumbled mess as she has no idea how to absorb the situation.  

 

“.”

 

She presses the bottom of her hand to the throbbing headache that ceased to return.

 

There wasn’t a single thing she seems to remember even if she were to spend the longest time sitting in silence. (The painful pounding in the side of her head didn’t help either). Despite trying her hardest to delve into the recent memory of her previous actions before waking up here, nothing reminisces back to the surface. Nothing but panic and confusion clouds her thoughts, fear traveling to her trembling movements. She grips tight on the monochrome varsity jacket she has on, nervously fumbling with the buttons. Couple of long sighs spill out to growing groans when she throws herself on the ground, back first.  

 

Unnecessary possibilities run through her thoughts. And the more she thinks, the more she feels like she's in one hazy blur of a lucid dream. Or even at the possible reasons, she could be dead at this very moment. Just at the thought, a shiver cascades down her spine from a sudden chill. Goosebumps scatter her skin when she slides her hands up and down her arms. She was unsure of everything in her current surroundings to which she can only lay quiet in this still environment.

 

But there's something she is definite about and that’s her name, forever attached till death.

 

Ki Heehyun.

 

Her eyes slowly flutter open to a blank sky. However, there she notices above her floating objects shaded black. Three dimensional shape of rhombuses litters across high up and down low near the ground. She questions about it to herself, quite amazed at the sight as they stand out bright like stars in night skies. Strangely it was unbelievably calming, a spell entranced on them. And if heehyun wasn’t so concerned about her current situation, she would lay all day, immersed.

 

Still splayed out on the ground, her ears pick up to the sound of shoes dragging across the ground. She happens to ignore it, listening to it unconsciously when the walking stops a few times to only continue going a few seconds later. Hesitance radiates from the person’s light steps, quite strange. It also happens to head in her direction, seizing loud when it comes closer. So finally, heehyun turns her head to the side, feeling one’s presence above her. Their white pristine sneakers invades her sight, blocking the rest of her view. Quickly, her eyes shoot to look up to only find a young girl facing down back at her.

 

“Um.” Heehyun continues to stare. “Who are you?”

 

The girl crouches down. “Are you Ki Heehyun?”

 

“Yeah?” Heehyun's face contorts to confusion. she peels herself off the ground to sit, legs outstretched.

 

Her hand clasps around a phone like device, shifting her eyes back and forth from the screen twice. “You died on May twenty first, one thirty in the morning.”

 

“Excuse me?” Shock pours out in her expression. “What do you mean I–”

 

“–welcome to the afterlife.”

 

To heehyun’s disbelief, the girl spreads a innocent smile on her lips, more less a growing toothy grin.

 

But next thing Heehyun does, she feels the guilt crawling up her back in slow taunts. It all mounds in the tight fist stuck by her side on her right. Thoughts of already smashing in that pretty face of hers got her in a predicament. “I’m sorry-” she starts speaking  before raising her arm. The girl in front stares clueless at Heehyun’s intentions.

 

A swift punch lands on the other’s face before another word is spoken from the either of them. She stumbles backwards on her back to the ground after several shaky steps back, pressing a hand on her nose.

 

Heehyun immediately makes a run for it, not taking a single look back. She sparks a sprint down to wherever her legs takes her. There was no way Heehyun was going to believe the bull that uttered out of the girl’s mouth.

 

Absolute regret sprouted in her as when she realizes there was really nowhere to run off to. All her surroundings were the same, nothing but the white blank slate of vast horizon in front. Stuck in her thoughts, Heehyun doesn’t notice the girl catching up to her in quick speed, footsteps trailing behind. A revelating gaze of her bolting towards in high speed sends a loud yell to rise from , burning.

 

“What the !” Heehyun shouts, voice shaking.  Breathless pants escape as she tries to run faster, eventually thrown effortless. In the end Heehyun falls forward to a body colliding from behind, weight shifting all onto her. She topples first to the ground, slamming her side harshly to the ground. Her face stings red, a long scrape dragging across her cheek and the air in her lungs squeeze out when the young latter sits on top of her. “Get off me!” Heehyun thrashes out her arms in midst of tangled limbs, flailing them in the air.

 

“Why would I when you punched me!” She hisses, clearly boiling anger while she pins her arms down.

 

“Self defense! It was self defense!”  The moment Heehyun looks up, she spots the deep red blood dripping out from the other’s nose, freely dribbling down to her upper lip. Her face scrunches up in pain. An evident red blotch marks one side of the girl’s face making Heehyun feel a little apologetic. “I was in a state of panic. I’m sorry,” Heehyun splutters out.

 

With a frown, the girl gets off Heehyun to set herself down on the ground. “You could’ve at least punched me somewhere besides my face.” Her sleeve rubs across her nose, smearing out the blood in a slow wipe. It stains a dark hue of red on her beige coat, popping bright. She cleans the rest with the back of her hand, in low grumbles.

 

A weak chuckle stifles out of Heehyun as she rubs her now aching ribs. “I mean you could punch my face for us to be even.”

 

Sniffling, she shakes her head with a taunting a grin. “If I did, then I would’ve killed you.”

 

Heehyun scoffs. “Oh really? What are you? God or something?”

 

The girl’s face lights up. “No, not really.” She makes a v shape with her finger and thumb, putting it under her chin. “But I guess you could call me Chaeyeon,  a reaper.”

 

v

 

As told, Heehyun obediently props herself up on her feet, expression still grim. Rigidly, she pulls her arm out the sleeves of her jacket the slipping it off her shoulders.

 

“Why am I doing this?”

 

“For me to check something,” Chaeyeon says, immersed in taking the piece of clothing. She lifts it up by the collar, shoving her hands into the pockets. Heehyun quietly watches in curiosity as the girl slips something out. “Cigarettes,” Chaeyeon murmurs as she shifts a box of them out of Heehyun’s pocket. A simple lining of the color gold wraps around the box while the label gleams in bold red. Her eyes trail it up and down once or twice, face contorted of disgust. She releases a loud sigh, giving a quick glare. Heehyun simply rolls her eyes, arms crossed.

 

“You also have a knife?” She checks the other pocket, sliding out a closed pocket knife. Heehyun shrugs. chaeyeon drops it underneath her shoe, hidden beneath the sole.

 

Sliding her hand into the same pocket once more, she grazes upon a touch of cold plastic. It's a thin bottle of pills that rattle in between her fingers when she pulls it out in the open. Chaeyeon’s eyebrows burrow in deeper, eyes never leaving the other. The bottle of pills resting on her palm hides within her tight grasp as she opens to say something. It’s a meek audible whisper that leaves a bitter taste on the tip of her tongue. “You killed yourself.”

 

Widening eyes and raised eyebrows, Heehyun freezes in her movements, hands mounding the fabric of her jacket to a tight fist. “What?”

 

A bite of her bottom lip, Chaeyeon tilts her head slightly to the side in habit. “Your cause of death...overdose on sleeping pills.” She lifts the small cylindrical container up to Heehyun’s view. “You intentionally killed yourself.”

 

Heehyun angrily snatches it from Chaeyeon’s hand, talking in between clenched teeth. “I–I–shut up. You don't know that.”

 

“But it's obvious, since all these things that came with you after death are all the things that were killing you or killed you.”

 

Two hours into a mental break down according to Chaeyeon, Heehyun’s still curled up on the ground in sniffles. Reminiscing her life back on earth wasn't a pleasant memory she wishes to have kept, but when all the previously forgotten memories fade back, Heehyun’s become an utter mess.

 

“I know, it's hard isn't it.” Chaeyeon stays unfazed at the sight, but her eyes flicker to a dim glimmer. “humans are weird. they’re always so full of...regret.”

 

“Why wouldn’t I be. I’m actually dead.” Heehyun mumbles as she remains lying on the ground.

 

“Quit moping around,” Chaeyeon sighs, “I’m not wasting my time watching you cry. We have to get moving.”

 

“Moving where?”

 

The reaper takes Heehyun’s arm, pulling up the sleeve of her jacket. “Remember this?” She lifts up Heehyun’s arm, pointing to the black wristband loosely linked around her wrist. “This is your ticket signifying where you belong. And if you’re smart enough you’ll know what a black ticket is.”

 

Heehyun numbly stares at the band, she creases her brows. A look of disbelief spreads on her face moments after in realization. “You’re telling me I belong in Hell?”

 

“Yep.” She nods. “Black ticket is for Hell. White is for Heaven. And as a reaper, it’s my job to take you there.”

 

Repeatedly in refusal, Heehyun shakes her head. “No way I’m going down in the hell hole. I don’t deserve that.”

 

Chaeyon gives her a look.

 

“Okay fine, I did do a lot things I shouldn’t have, but I did things to balance it out.” Heehyun explains. “That’s not fair.”

 

“I’m not the one making the decisions here.” Chaeyeon says. “We’ve got a train to catch.”

 

“No, I did not spend my twenty years suffering to only end up in hell.” Heehyun snaps. “Isn’t there a way for me to swap my ticket?”

 

Pursing her lips, Chaeyeon averts her eyes. “There is  a way.”

 

Her eyes widen. “Wait, there really is one?”

 

Meekly, Chaeyeon nods. “I should've told you from the beginning, but if you are able to obtain one hundred tickets,” Chaeyeon explains. “you’ll be granted a way to heaven or a chance to reincarnate. But until then you're stuck in Hell for eternity.”

 

“One hundred tickets? Tickets from where?”

 

“From others such as yourself.”

 

“So you’re saying all I have to do is take someone else's ticket to increase mine?"

 

Instantly, Chaeyeon regrets opening . “It’s nearly impossible though. I haven’t seen a single ghost make it that far and if you get your ticket ripped...you eternally erase from existence.” Her head tilts, chin up, pointing to the black rhombuses hovering in the air.

 

Confidence however washes over her face. “It doesn’t sound that bad. A second chance at life doesn’t either.”

 

“What do you mean, not bad? You could eternally perish.” Chaeyeon argues back.”You could always accept where you belong and we could take the train to hell now.”

 

“There’s no need for that.”

 

“My god.”’A long audible sigh hangs in the air. “I’ll give you two weeks then and if you don’t have a hundred tickets, I’m dragging you to hell myself.”

 

“Deal.”

 

v

 

“You’re just abandoning me?”

 

“Did you forget that I have a job.” Chaeyeon bends over to pat the crown of Heehyun's head. “I've got dozens of other ghosts to check in as a reaper.”

 

“,” Heehyun says aloud, letting her legs dangling off the edge of a cliff. “When are you coming back?”

 

A shrug lifts from her shoulders. “I don't know. In a couple of weeks? I guess? Heehyun I'm not your mom.”

 

“Who am I supposed to talk to then?” Heehyun whines.

 

“Other ghosts?”

 

“They’d probably want steal my ticket since they’re all crazy according to you.”

 

“I did not say all.” Chaeyeon makes a motion with a hand. “I said...most.”

 

“Okay fine, I'll make friends with the one percent of those who aren't ticket hungry.”

 

“Also don’t run into other reapers. They’re not exactly all friendly.”

 

“Got it. I got it mom.”

 

“Good then. I'll leave now.” Momentarily, before turning to depart, Chaeyeon panics. “Just...don't die again, okay?”

 

“Why not.” Heeyun aimlessly says.

 

Bluntly, Chaeyeon responds. “Because, well, I actually like you and seeing you die for a second time isn't my forte.”

 

Even at the slightest compliment Heehyun gleams joyfully. “Well, you’re my favorite reaper.”

 

“I’m literally the only reaper you’ve met.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Okay, just don’t go off creating a havoc.”

 

A pair of thumbs up appear and reassures Chaeyeon. The reaper makes her away to opposite direction, fleeing to a location. And Heehyun watches her turn to little speck of black in the long horizon until she disappears off into the distance.

 

She's left alone in engulfing silence once again where she can only sigh heavily to which she wonders if anyone can hear. Till now, she’s been clinging by the reaper, Chaeyeon, at every step she took. She’d diverge away from others knowing what would happen if the fragile ticket around her wrist were to be ripped. Everything part of her eventually collapse to form the black dipped rhombuses hanging in the air.

 

But she needs tickets to reincarnate. To receive the second chance she needs to escape the after life. It's the thought that she’d still be committing murder even after death, wiping someone from existence stopping her. She leaves with a nauseous feeling, hesitant to remove anyone else's band. She hasn’t thought about it at first when Chaeyeon introduced the idea, and she regrets her boastful words. Maybe she should’ve taken the trip to Hell instead.

 

Squinting to the several lone figures walking back and forth, she’s able to pick someone vulnerable. A thin old man stands shaking underneath the cold, easily blown over. He’s barely standing on his own two feet, still trembling. To anyone else, this was a perfect opportunity and Heehyun thought so too. She carefully rushes down the hill.

 

And unexpectedly when she approaches him, he weakly raises his arm with the ticket, presenting it. After she asks for it, he surprisingly nods for her to take it.

 

“You...you said you needed this, didn't you?” He croaks out, shivering from the lack of warmth. “Take it and give me some clothes instead, it's so cold.”

 

Creasing her brows, she bites down hard on her bottom lip to leave jagged marks. “I–I can't”

 

“Wh–what do you mean you can't? Take it and get me some clothes in return.”

 

Guilt coursing in her again, heehyun shakes her head, pushing his arm away. “Sorry, I–I don't need it actually, so keep it.”

 

He lifts his arm once more, but Heehyun resists and politely makes her way past. He turns to look at her leave, dangling his arm up in the air, waving the ticket strung around his wrist.

 

“Hey, old man!” Heehyun shouts as she parts further away, “Protect your ticket! You're done for if you lose it!”

 

v

 

It's a horrid encounter Heehyun faces on the fifth day.

 

The loud rupture of her beating heart pounds in her ears, palpitating the blood through her veins in adrenaline. She stares down in shaking hands, eyeing the deep red hue stained brightly. Unpredicted blots of slight red pink splatter on her white shirt as she frantically tries to cover it up with her jacket. She knows the exact premise of the situation and the beaten body in front of her doesn't have to say anything either. Her knuckles unbelievably bare bloody, soaking in red taints across her skin.

 

As if choking on the miserable truth of reality hanging behind her back, Heehyun nearly suffocates in her putrid metallic stench. Something burning arises up when she frighteningly reaches for the ticket around the bleeding man’s wrist. Inconsistent mumbles rupture out her lips, barely audible through the cracks in her voice. She snaps the ticket off, storming off in a sprint, running far away as possible.

 

When she thinks she's run far enough, she attempts to rub off the excess blood remaining on her hands and face. She scrapes it on the grainy white dirt on the ground, hoping it’ll at least fade the red away. Her eyes continuously drift her wristband whereas her second ticket already added itself on the previous one. though obtaining at least one ticket was to be considered a victory in her part, there was no sense of happiness lingering.

 

Then she realizes she’s lost count on how many days it's been since Chaeyeon was last seen. Probably Heehyun was overreacting, but she was desperate of an actual conversation between someone. She would have to say she was mentally and physically deprived. Rather she was also growing lonely.

 

Lost in her thoughts, she doesn’t notice Chaeyeon taking a seat next to her. She quirks a brow when  Heehyun forgets to bid a hello, mum in words. Her eyes travel to the ticket wrapped around her wrist and catches sight of two white lines going down vertically. “You were able to get a ticket?”

 

As if finally snapping out of the daydream, Heeyun stiffens. “O-oh yeah. I did.” She turns her head, peering over to where Chaeyeon was sitting. The girl’s expression was unreadable as she leans closer with her hands raised. Gently, Chaeyeon’s finger graze just below her eyes.

 

“Heehyun?” Chaeyeon worriedly calls for, eyes widening. “Heehyun? Why are you crying?”

 

v

 

Mentally, Heehyun keeps track of the passing days. It’s been ten days since her first ticket and she knows there’s no way getting a hundred tickets was possible within the following week. It’s also been the tenth day with old school jazz to disco taped cassettes clicking into the player on repeat.

 

“Do you have any other music besides disco?” Heehyun points to her ears. “I’ll literally go deaf if I listen to this cassette one more time.” She waves it in the air, holding the urge to snap it in half.

 

“I have classical,” Chaeyeon offers. Another cassette tape files out of her coat pocket and she outstretches her arm to hand it over.

 

With a grumble, she gladly takes it. “With that horrendous taste of music you have, I wouldn’t be surprised if my ears start bleeding.”

 

Chaeyeon narrows her eyes. “Oh, shush.”

 

The given cassette fits perfectly in, replacing the other. Heehyun hears the popping click protrude and she closes it shut to press play. Taking a few seconds to get it going, Heehyun slightly jumps from the spot startled when a clash of piano emerges loudly. Loosening the tight grip she had on the small cassette player, she removes a hand from her chest too. Airy violin and skillful play of the piano sounds the place and Heehyun can only sigh in relief.

 

“Why do you even have cassettes?” Heehyun asks, placing it between her and Chaeyeon.

 

“Someone gave them to me,” she starts, “they thought I would be lonely under all this silence in the afterlife.”

 

“They had cassettes?”

 

“It’s like how you had your pack of cigarettes or knife.” Chaeyeon fumbles with her fingers. “They had cassettes and a player with them when they arrived here after death. Kind of strange if you ask me. But to truthfully tell you, I despised their taste in music.”

 

A smile grows on Heehyun. “So you do agree disco was horrible.”

 

“You get used to it after listening for a couple of years.” Chaeyeon laughs. “And it was the first gift I’ve ever received, so I couldn’t just throw it away.”

 

“I guess that’s true.”

 

They sit in silence after, submerging into the deep slow versatile music of a soft piano. Heehyun thinks it’s been ages where she’s perceived a sense of calmness in her life to the point where maybe being dead wasn’t so bad. If maybe Chaeyeon were to be there by her side, even hell might be an exception.

 

She lays down on her back, hands resting in her abdomen. “Chaeyeon.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Y’know you could’ve told me you had classical music like beforehand.”

 

A toothy grin stretches on her face. “I know.”

 

v

 

Fifteen days and counting, the day Chaeyeon finds Heehyun, she’s soaking in blood while hand in hand with a little girl attached to her side.

 

“God, what did you do this time?” Engulfing into a stage of worry, Chaeyeon runs her fingers through her hair in a nervous habit. Frantically she walks over to Heehyun, attaching her hands to the sides of her face. They bathe in red, smearing across her cheeks. Her clothes too douse in blood, crimson in color. Her eyes travel towards the little girl gripping onto Heehyun’s jacket, cowering behind in obvious fear. “And where did she come from?”

 

Heehyun holds the child’s hand tighter, giving a strangling cough when she talks. “I saved this kid...had to beat a guy to the pulp...things just got messy.”

 

“She followed you?”

 

“Who?”

 

“The kid.”

 

Her eyes peer down to the kid, who’s still hiding behind her in a iron grip. “Yeah, she wouldn’t let me go the entire time we walked back.” Gently, Heehyun shifts the girl forward ushering her to greet Chaeyeon.

 

Crouching down to meet eye level with the small girl, Chaeyeon lifts a warm smile with a short wave. “Hi, I’m Chaeyeon.” Seeing the fear still swarm in the girl’s eyes, she tries to reassure her. “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.”

 

Dani gaze flickers back up at Heehyun for some sort of confirmation, and she nods when Heeyun motions that it was alright. “I-I’m Dani.” She plays with the hem of her shirt nervously, slightly flinching when Chaeyeon moves closer.

 

“I guess it’ll take a while for her to get used to you.” Heehyun places a hand on Dani’s shoulder.

 

Chaeyeon stands back up, sighing. “That’s fine. It’s best not to keep someone uncomfortable.” She reaches into her pocket, holding the cassette player in her hands. “She could use my cassette player as a distraction.” The player settles in Dani’s hands when Chaeyeon hands it over to Heehyun.

 

Eventually, Dani becomes occupied with the player immersing as her company while Chaeyeon pulls Heehyun over to talk.

 

“Who’s ticket did you take?” Chaeyeon asks under her breath.

 

“It was just another ghost.” Heehyun begins to rub her hands. “He tried attacking the poor girl for her ticket.”

Chaeyeon takes a look over her shoulder to find Dani fumbling the cassette in her hands as it blasts Heehyun’s least favorite disco track. “Dani’s?”

 

She tips her head. “Yeah, her’s.”

 

Hesitantly, Chaeyeon asks, “did you take his ticket.”

 

“No.”

 

“Then.”

 

“I…” Heehyun her lips. “I gave them to Dani instead.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

She inhales deeply. “She needs it more than me. She's stuck here because of her parents. It's unfair for her to go to hell without reason.”

 

Before Chaeyeon parts open to speak, Heehyun interrupts.

 

“She’s an abortus.”

 

v

 

Leg crossed, shoulders bumping side to side, the three of them sit on the top of a hill. The cassette perches on Heehyun lap, echoing a light melodic tune. Dani’s fallen asleep on her lap, curled up and Chaeyeon presses closer to Heehyun’s side.

 

“What are you going to do now? You know you only have a day left.” Chaeyeon whispers.

 

“I don't know, accept my fate?” Heehyun lets out a sigh. “Two weeks and I've only managed to get two tickets. I was so confident about it at first too.”

 

“It's pretty funny if you think about it.”

 

A weak chuckle emerges. “I only got these tickets because someone attacked me and the other one was for a good cause.”

 

“And sometimes I wonder why you belong in Hell.”

 

Heehyun shakes her head. “I did a lot of bad things,” she starts out, voice depleting to a quiet whisper. “You wouldn't want to hear about it.” Heehyun buries into the varsity jacket around her, fear trembling in her pupils at the remembrance of reeking blood filling up the bathtub. A knife grips tightly in her hands as the only thing visible was the dim flickering light and carmine pigment shading her sight. She tries to forget about it. “Reincarnation seemed like my second chance for redemption.”

 

“The world had always been unfair,” Chaeyeon mumbles. “That's what everyone has told me.”

 

“I could tell you that too, but I was much happier when I was alive.” Heehyun plays with the ticket around her wrist. “But at this point, Hell doesn't sound that bad either.”

 

—————

i kinda want this to have a pt.2 but idk comment down if u think there should be. but this whole au was based off a korean webtoon named hellper. i recommend everyone to check it out.