It's Over
Smoke
“We will always be each other’s smoke Soojung-ah. I hope you remember that.”
"Thank you so much Singapore!!!"
"For the last time, we are- f(x)!!!"
"Wow, great show tonight guys."
"Yeah... Way to end the last day of concert here in Singapore."
"Hands in!"
"Hana, deul sset-"
"F(x)!!!"
The four girls hugged together and thanked everybody in the hall from the back up dancers, KLAV their mascot, the production team and of course the choreographers who came all the way from Seoul to support them.
Finally, they all got inside of the van after making sure they treated everybody dinner before heading back to the hotel. Well, the three of them are.
"Vic unnie you just got here and now you're flying back to China?" Luna looked over to her right to see Victoria deeply sighing.
"I have to. I have a shooting."
"You need to be healthy."
"I know… Which is why I re-read your messages."
"Aweeeeeee!!! Come here and gimme popo~~~"
"Yahhhh, stay away from me." She playfully pushes Luna's pouting face which caused the four of them to laugh.
After a few minutes of talking to one another, they have finally arrived at the airport and bid their leader good bye before actually going to the hotel. And since Luna was really clingy that night, knowing that she would separate from them for weeks since she was casted on the musical called Pitch Perfect. And since she was super duper clingy, she decided that the three of them should stay in one room for their last night in this country.
When they arrived at the room Amber immediately jumped on rolled around the bed.
"Ahhhh... So this is the way Llamas claim something huh." Luna chuckled. "Unnie, are you sure that you're older than me?"
"Which is why don't call me unnie." Amber said while her face was still buried on the pillow.
"Aigoooo...” Luna just shakes her head. “Come Soojunggie, let's clean our faces and then get some sleep."
It was probably 2 in the morning when Amber wakes up from her deep slumber and went to the comfort room to do her business there. When she comes back to the bedroom she rubs her eyes to see that there was one person missing inside the room. She looked to the farthest right corner of the room where an unmade bed was present. She looked back at the bed in the middle where Luna was sleeping soundly making these weird exhale sounds that she got used to over the years. She looked back at her own unmade bed and then back at the bed where a person should be sleeping and then back to Luna.
She was in a deep battle with her own mind. She knows that she should not do it… What was stopping her from refraining doing it? She was doing well over the past few months. She did not go and visited her there for she knows- no… She doesn’t know what will happen if ever she’ll try and go there for her relationship with that person right now is far more complex than any other equation in this universe.
But she had to check up on her or else she’d be up all night what was she doing up there. So even though she did not want to, she wants too as well. She was too confused with herself but she’ll just figure it out soon. Knowing Singapore was their last stop before coming home to Korea; she could maybe try and speak to her. Back there in the balcony where nothing mattered but just the two of them.
She got her robe and slowly sneaks outside of the room for she knows Luna was a person who easily gets irritated by unwanted sounds and that’s the worst thing that can happen for her tonight. Getting caught and answering all those questions even her can’t answer herself.
Taking the emergency exit of the hotel she goes up 3 floors and finds herself in the door that leads to the balcony of the hotel. Right when she was about to open the door knob there was this sudden hesitation again. She bites her lower lip in confusion because honestly she doesn’t know what to say if ever she was there but she says in her mind ‘ it’ and just opens the door.
She immediately stops in her tracks when she came across the back figure of the person not even turning her head around to see who was this person who invaded her private time. So slowly, like baby taking its first steps she now finally stands beside the person whose eyes were busy wandering around the busy streets of the city. Again, she swallows the lump on and starts to formulate questions in her mind to start the conversation with the person beside her.
“Been a rough day huh?”
“Yeah. I guess you can say that.”
“I thought you’d be surprised that someone suddenly comes in.” She chuckles lowly. “Did you kind of figure out that it was me?”
“No, not really. It’s not like I own the place you know what I mean? I mean- everyone can come here.”
“Ahhh yes. Of course…” She looks away from Krystal. “Stupid me.” Krystal said nothing after that so she decided to make an effort to make the conversation going. “Well, the concert was great right?” She tries in a livelier mood. “The crowd was so happy and we were all hyped up. Are you not happy too?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
And then there was silence again. Amber was running out of questions to ask her. She doesn’t know what else to do… It’s like Krystal wasn’t even trying to keep the conversation going and would just shut her down with simple answers that she cannot continue asking her for more. Now Amber starts to think that maybe she came here a bad time. Maybe Krystal was having her personal time and now she’s there and ruined the moment. Maybe that’s why Krystal is not trying to converse with her for she was there in the balcony just to calm her thoughts or enjoy the breeze or maybe the silence that only this place could offer. Amber felt bad… Maybe coming here was a bad choice.
“Sorry if I came here and-“
“Like I said, everyone can come here.” Finally Krystal was the one who looked at her first this time. “Anyway, I should head down. Can’t have Luna wondering why she’s all alone in the middle of the night right?”
Amber looks at Krystal for a moment before slowly nodding her head. “Knowing Luna, she’ll just ask nonsense questions.”
Krystal says nothing but nods her head too. “Good night Amber.”
“Good night.”
Krystal said nothing after that and just left the place without even trying to look back at Amber. After she hears the door closes, Amber felt sorry for herself. She felt sorry because she knew that this could’ve happened but still she believed that she and Krystal would really talk like the way they used to be. When they would open up to one another anything about their day or how happy they are whenever they’d have event overseas and get together with all of their fans. She thought that going here tonight would finally be the start of placing things to the way they used to be. Because even though they both decided to be friends a few months ago, Krystal and Amber were not really Krystal and Amber. And Amber knew that… Amber knew that there would be changes but she wasn’t prepared for this kind of change.
Looking at the busy street lights, she just sighed to herself for the wasted mental battle she was having back at their hotel room. She shakes her head and just tries to place it at the back of her mind. ‘Well, at least I tried’ she tries to comfort herself. Looking down to her feet as she wiggles her fingers to shake off the breeze of the early morning- she furrows her eyebrows as she notices something on the concrete floor. She bends down as she picks the thing up and was shocked to finally see what it was.
She was still in furrowed eyebrows as she tries to understand the meaning of this object in the balcony. It was still warm as the morning coffee, like the ones you get at 7 in the morning and try to cool it off to not burn your tongue. She tried to picture out that maybe someone was here before them and just made it quick before coming back to work or back to their rooms. She can’t- no. She knows it wasn’t her. Krystal was pure and she hated this kind of stuff… If she would’ve liked it, then she wouldn’t ask her to stop doing this years ago right? No. No it can’t be her. I am sure of it.
Krystal hates smoking. She hates it.
But ever since that happened, Amber never looked Krystal the same again. She tried to at first but then it became so mysterious when she would suddenly disappear during practice or she’d pour a lot of perfume after her sudden disappearance or when she would eat that something with a very strong flavor. On the other side, she knows that Krystal hates the smell of the smoke so why would she do something like that?
So she tried observing Krystal more as the days go by. She tried to look at Krystal’s lips to see if they have been darker than they used to be or does she lose her breath easily. But no, she wasn’t. Besides the fact that she suddenly disappears, she concludes that nothing has change. But she knows she had to figure out more… And so when Krystal makes her sudden disappearance again, she starts to ask Luna.
“Hey Lun?”
“Wassap Amber?” She smiles at her band mate.
“I wanna ask you something.”
“Well if it’s not related to Math then let’s do it!” She says as she wipes her face with the towel.
“Well… Do you notice something about Krystal?”
“Something about her?” Luna thinks for a while. “No… Not really.”
Amber furrows her eyebrows. “Really? Not one thing at all?”
“Nope.” She then looks at her group mate. “Why? Do you notice something in her?”
“Not much… Except the fact that she suddenly disappears.”
“Oh that!” She clasped her hands together. “I know the meaning behind it.”
“Really?” Amber was happy. She would finally end this concern she has for her co-girl group mate. “Well, what is it?”
Luna looked doubtful at first but then she just sighs. “Okay, she just goes out for a few minutes to hang out with Kai.”
“Hanging out? With him?” She cannot believe the answer she was getting. It was far from what she expected.
Luna nods her head. “It’s just a 5 minute talk. They do it whenever Kai gets the chance to escape their practice time and they’d talk for a while before coming back. Did you not notice? She’d check on her phone first before going out. Probably, she was waiting for him to text that he’s already out there waiting for her.”
Amber tried to remember what she has observed over the past few days. And truth to be told she does remember Krystal checking her phone one time before coming out of the practice room. Maybe she only notices Krystal suddenly disappearing and she hadn’t noticed the other times that she’ll check her phone before leaving the place. Amber wanted to believe what Luna was telling her… But deep inside she knows that there has got to be a deeper meaning than meeting with Kai.
“Hey… Is everything okay Am?” She puts her arm around her friend’s shoulder.
“Yeah. Everything’s okay Luna. Thank you for answering my question.” She smiles at her friend.
“Why were you suddenly intrigued anyway?”
“Oh.” Amber paused for a while. “Nothing. I keep on thinking that she continuously goes outside the building. I am just concerned for her safety.”
Instead of getting a nod as a form of response from Luna, she got Luna’s doubtful look. “You know, if I didn’t know you for so long Am- I would think that you’re still not over Krystal and that you’re still pissed off at Kai.”
This time Amber lets out a scoff. “Really Luna? You really think lowly of me?”
She just gives her a shrug. “I don’t know maybe. It’s not like I can read your feelings like Krystal does right?”
“Luna…” Amber sighs. Both of them were in this talk again. “I’ve already told you- millions of times-“
“Yeah yeah yeah.” She waves her friend off. “I’m not stupid so I understand okay?” Amber just nods.
“Hey guys wassup?” Krystal finally comes back.
“Where have you been?” Luna asked suddenly. “Amber was worried for you.”
Shocked could be seen all over Krystal face as she looks at Amber who couldn’t look her way. “W-w-w-were you-“
“Y-yeah.” She evidently looks away from Krystal’s gaze.
“O-oh.” There was a long pause. “Well, I was just out talking with Kai.”
Amber looks at Luna as she gives her the ‘I told you so’ look. Maybe Amber was all wrong with her hunch. Krystal could- and would never do something like that. She should just stop this doubting and carry on. Besides, Amber should focus more on memorizing her Thai language all over again for they were doing a small event there for all of their fans in Bangkok.
After finally finishing of having a talk with the marketing head regarding her solo tour, Amber was free for the night. She could finally crash her apartment and sleep there for a few hours as they get ready to fly in Thailand. She greets the guard farewell as she hops down all the way to the stairs to get her bicycle. But right as she was about to get on and leave the SM building, she hears a familiar voice.
“Krystal get back here we are not yet done talking!” It was Kai’s voice. She was 100% sure of it.
“We are done talking and there’s nothing to talk about seriously Kai. You’re annoying the hell out of me!”
Amber knows she has to hide or else she’d be seen by the quarreling couple. And so behind the Red Velvet’s van was Amber’s hiding place for a while which was beside Kai’s sports car and just a few meters away from Kai and Krystal who were both trying not to scream at one another.
“I wouldn’t be as annoying as I am now if you would just answer my question.”
“I already did. You just won’t accept my answer!”
“Because I know you have been lying! Like you always have been!”
“I told you I’ve stopped!!!!”
There was this long silence that followed after Krystal’s outburst. Amber couldn’t believe it but she finally hears Krystal being angry after a long time. She slowly peaks her head outside to see Kai looking away from Krystal’s ice eyes. She knows Kai is doing the right thing for he’ll freeze in that spot forever if he plans on looking at her eyes again. Believe me; Amber has been there countless times.
“I’ve already stopped. What’s so hard to understand about that?” Krystal says. “I thought we were suppose to trust each other if we are planning to make things work. So why the hell are you not giving me your 100%? I wasn’t questioning you and your business anymore right? So why are you questioning mine?” Kai just remained there standing still as he waits for his girlfriend to finish ranting out. “You know what, if you’re just going to keep on doubting me, maybe we should just-“
Suddenly Kai pulls Krystal into an embrace. “It’s okay now. I’m sorry if I doubted you. You know I am just looking out for you because I care about you because I love you.”
Krystal said nothing as she wraps her arms around him. “I know that. But just trust me on this.” She cups his cheeks. “I’ve stopped. And that’s all you need to hear and believe from me okay?”
Kai nods his head as he hugs her tightly and securely in his arms. Amber looked away and leans on the van. She felt like she was watching some kind of intense drama that she herself was holding her breath. After a few minutes, Kai’s car finally disappeared and Amber stood up and dusted herself off before leaving the building and before someone catches her there.
Now back at her home and done doing her good night procedures, she slumps in her bed with her cat and dog sleeping soundly on the other side of the bed. Just as she was about to sleep soundly- she remembered what she just witnessed over a few hours ago. She knows that couples fight, but not as intense as Kai and Krystal fights.
Just as she was about to believe that Krystal was just out there because she was meeting with Kai, now another theory rises in her mind. What if Kai was there to also look out for Krystal? What if she was really right that Krystal was smoking all along? Moving on the other side of the bed she sighs to herself. Why was she so concerned about Krystal in the first place? It’s not her responsibility anymore. Krystal’s a woman and she can look things out for herself. She’s very independent and so she must trust Krystal too.
But what does Krystal meant that she stopped? And what was Kai’s business? Was she talking about his vices too? Does Kai even have a vice to begin with?
“Ahhhh! These two are messing up my mind!” She sits up.
Hearing her phone ring from the desk, she turns over and grabs the gadget as she turns again and opens the message.
Hey. Been recording all night for this drama T_T I guess I won’t be home until tomorrow morning which is the same time as your flight in Bangkok. When will we meet eh? Kkkk. Anyway, have a great flight babe. I love you. Good night.
Amber sighs as looks as her pets that were in their weird sleeping positions. “I guess it’s just me and you guys tonight.”
“Waaaaaa Amber unnie saranghae!”
“Luna unnie jjang!!!!!”
“Soojung! Saranghae!!!”
Finally they have arrived in the warm heat of both the weather and the welcome that the fans were giving them as soon they’ve spotted them going outside the airport. Same set-up Victoria could not come due to conflict in her individual schedule in China plus they all know that their leader needs a good long sleep because if Victoria came here with them, then her body clock would be so messed up adjusting every now and then her system.
Getting inside the van they headed out to the penthouse suite of the hotel that they were staying in, settled down for 3 hours before actually going to different radio and TV station visitations. And in one of the short television showbiz show in the country, Amber was accidentally being put on the hot seat.
“Amber, what can you say about Luna’s solo activities being the veteran in the group?”
“Well I tell her although it’s very different because now when she does her solo she’s not going to be singing just one or two stanza but the entire song is for her, I always remind her that although the performance stage might look big, she has a big personality that I know for sure can conquer any stage or even concert stadiums. Luna is the brightest gem in the group and so I am complacent that she will do well in her solo activities.”
“Not about a month ago your started releasing songs like teasers. Is it a sign for another album?”
“We’ll see. I am just happy the company lets me release these songs.” She smiles.
“We’ve asked fans here earlier and asked what is their favorite song out of the three songs you’ve released so there’s no doubt now and I know you know that you are the crowd favorite.”
“Unnie is so cute that’s why she’s love by everybody.” Luna’s words made everybody cringe.
“So their answer was On My Own.”
“Ahhh.” Amber was silent for a while and tried to hide the sudden change of her own facial expression.
“So can you tell us briefly about the song?”
“Well it’s just a song that suddenly came up in my mind. It’s about someone who even though has everything, he still feels alone once he’s on his house and he’s struggling so hard because the person he loves isn’t there for him anymore. The song just tells that we all need someone to stay in our lives basically because they’re the only person that can understand you. They’re the person that you love. I mean-“ Amber pauses for a while and doubts whether she has to say this or not. “Who doesn’t want their love one to stay right?” She then gives them a small smile.
“I see. Well I bet now you made the person you love stay in your life seeing how happy you are right now with your relationship with Soyeon.”
“Yeah. She’s pretty amazing as a person.”
“How did the company react? And how did your members took the news?”
“The company was okay with it seeing that I wasn’t the first person to be out in the public and it’s kind of okay and acceptable now back in Korea so it’s fine. And as for the members…” Amber looks at her two group mates.
“We support her in every step of the way knowing that she is a very responsible person and just like what she said, it’s okay nowadays in Korea so I am happy that they could show off their love in public.” Luna says and then passes the microphone to Krystal who looked like she was still doubting to speak or not.
“Ummm…” Krystal pauses and then bites her lower lip. “I’m okay with it and I am happy for them. It’s really hard not being able to show someone you love them publicly because of certain limitations but just like what they said- Korea’s okay with these types of relationships and so I am just happy for her that’s all.”
After the closing remarks of the show, the host took some photos with them before they went to the awards show which they were invited to perform and eventually won the prize of one of the categories in the said event. It was late at night when they’ve finally returned to the hotel and had dinner and midnight snacks before actually going to sleep.
Well not for Amber of course. Once again she slips on her bathrobe and goes to the rooftop of the hotel to see the nice city view before heading to Japan for another SMTown concert. Still doing the same process of heading using the emergency exit stair case she was actually happy at the end of events today. They made the fans happy and plus they won an award and made some guestings that could help and boost their fandom. She also face timed her girlfriend who is all alone and was busy finding the cat and dog food inside their apartment.
Finally reaching the rooftop she heaved out a sigh of exhaustion. It has been a long time since she was able to step inside of the gym and so she reminded herself to visit one time in Japan after their concert. But of course, life is like a rose full of mysteries and surprises because now she also sees another female figure with her back facing her tonight.
Amber suddenly remembered their last night in Singapore where she tried reaching out and tried to make things okay for the two of them once again but then she was left with rejection that night. So now the once peaceful mind of hers is now in a dilemma. Should she leave the place? Or should she try reaching out again?
She figured out that maybe there was something wrong with her approach during in Singapore which resulted her continuous rejection to her approaches but now, Amber thinks to herself that she’ll just let it all out to Krystal and maybe she could have a better response than the previous right? So with a smile on her face she starts heading out to the place beside the girl with the jet black hair. But what she saw next made her stop in her tracks.
For she sees Krystal, with a stick of cigarette in one hand and a bottle of whisky in the other.
She was just there dead still in her tracks as she watches Krystal pulls the stick closer to , stuck the tip in between her lips and inhaled, burning the cigarette and making it shorter than it used to be and pulls it out as she inhales a little bit further before closing her eyes and puffing out the smoke as her eyes wander around the little stars in the sky. She followed a huge chug of whisky too and letting out a sigh of relief, just like when old men do after having a shot of Soju back in Korea. And of course, things had to get even more awkward because the back of Krystal turned around making them look at one another in the starry sky in Bangkok.
Eye to eye Amber suddenly felt indifferent. Although she was still in contact with the latter’s eyes, her insides felt a little weird. She wants to furrow her eyebrows in confusion. The Krystal she once knew and her vision about Krystal not doing this kind of stuff was immediately thrown out on the window. She was right all along… Krystal does smoke now.
On the other hand, Krystal just eyed Amber until she turns her back on her and back to what she was doing and by that Amber was brought back to reality and was able to blink her eyes. Now back into reality she remained calm inside and walked towards her destined position- beside Krystal. When she got there, all of the things she wanted to open up to Krystal disappeared. It seems like now, instead of opening up, she wanted to ask questions and those questions needed answers. But she doesn’t know to probe without being nosy. It’s her life after all.
“Bad night?” Amber starts and waits for the person beside her- hoping that she would answer her simple question.
“I guess. It’s been a long day after all.”
“I see…” And then her mind went blank. She does not know what to ask. She does not know how to get those answers she wanted. “So… You smoke now.”
“Yeah…” She trails off.
“For how long?”
“For around almost a year now.” The latter answered truthfully.
Almost a year… Same time as they promised to stay friends despite of their break-up. If this didn’t happen, then probably Amber wouldn’t notice that a year has almost passed her by. She wonders to herself but doesn’t want to assume that she might be the reason why Krystal turned to this kind of addiction.
“Don’t have plans on stopping?”
“I want to… I mean, who doesn’t right?” She playfully scoffs and pulls another stick. “But I guess there are some things that you were so used to have and when they’re gone you’ll go nuts looking for it… I think that’s what I feel towards this addiction of mine. I want to stop… But-“ She shakes her head. “Seems like I can’t.”
“I… I’m sorry Krys.”
Now Krystal was the confused one. “Why would you say that?”
“I felt like I am kind of at fault. I mean, I did introduced you to smoking right?” Krystal remains silent and continues to listen to what Amber has to say. “If I didn’t do it then-“
Surprisingly, Krystal laughed. And that caught Amber by surprise. “Oh Am…” She shakes her head and pulls out another stick and lights it up. “It wasn’t because of you believe me.” She answered before taking another swig of whiskey. “It was because I wanted to. It’s that simple…”
Was it really? Amber thinks to herself. She didn’t know why she sounded so disappointed. Never in her life that she wanted to be a reason why a person is destroying his or her life.
“And I believe it’s in the blood. My dad still smokes even though his health condition forbids him so I guess that’s where I get it.” She shrugs. “I don’t really know.”
Amber looks at Krystal. “But you should stop soon… You should think if you want to end up the same with your dad.”
“A life with a very supportive wife, a successful career and two beautiful and independent rich daughters? Yeah… I think I can live with that.” She drinks the alcohol again.
“Krystal… This is not you.”
Krystal had to scoff at that. “No Amber- this is not you.” She looks at Amber. “You’re not- scratch that- you were NEVER this nosy.”
“It’s because I care about you. I’ve been that stage where you cling onto that cigarette stick like it’s your life support. But it doesn’t have to be that way always. You can slowly get rid of it and all you have to do is you have to want to stop smoking. You’re gonna get the people around you so concerned.” She wants Krystal to remember her family and even Kai who only wants the best for her.
“Why don’t we make a deal?” She turns to the tomboy. “I’ll promise to you tonight that I’ll occasionally smoke.”
“Okay… So what’s my promise then?”
“You…” Krystal puffs the stick to its last moment and throws the on the ground and steps on it. “You’d have to tell me- what did Kai promised you?”
“Hey noona, it’s me. I’m right here at the balcony. We can talk here.”
“Okay. I’ll be right up.”
_
“What would you like to order noona? My treat.”
“I’ll have latte.”
“Okay, one cappuccino and one latte.” Kai says to the waiter before disappearing. “Amber noona, thank you so much for accepting my invitation.” He bows down to his senior.
“It’s fine.” Amber tries to control herself.
She never wanted to be here. How could she? She just can’t hang out with the person who stole her other half. She can’t be okay with him after what he has done to her relationship. If she looked at him in the past as an adorable junior, then now she looks at him as someone whom she doesn’t even want to be in the same room with. She just cannot deny the fact that she despises the existence of someone named Kim Jongin here in Seoul.
“So…” She waited for the waiter to leave after placing their order. “What is it that you want to talk about?”
“I… I suppose you already know my relationship with- with- Krystal.”
Amber wanted to scoff. Was he ing kidding her or does he just wants to rub it to Amber’s face that she just got replaced? “Yeah I know now. Me and Krystal… We already talked about it.” Referring to her last talk with the girl she loves at the balcony one night and letting her know how much she’s hurt.
Kai nods his head. “I sincerely apologize. I know I destroyed something that could still be fixed.”
“No, don’t be. I get where you’re coming from.” Kai looks at her. “I’ve always known she was your ideal type of girl like the other guys. I can’t blame you, you know? You saw this was your chance to finally get noticed by the girl of your dreams. You seized the opportunity and you are victorious. So you can keep that sorry for yourself because I don’t want to accept it right now.” Kai remained silent. “How could you Kai? You know how much I love and how much I can’t live without her. You know that my relationship with her could still be fixed. If you had some sense of decency, you would’ve let us fixed our first before deciding to make a move!” She lowly hisses at her junior. “Do you know how much controlling I am doing right now to not hit you on your ing face? Do you know how much I hate you?”
“You… You have all the right to be mad at me. You’re right, I am a relationship wrecker and a selfish person. But I love her and I know I can treat her better than you do. In fact and with all due respect noona but you had countless chances in your hands. You had so many chances to fix things with her. You know yourself that something wasn’t right with her but you were selfish too right? You were selfish because you still decided to pursue your solo career instead of paying attention to your girlfriend who was slowly breaking down. You had countless chances… I only had one. Tell me why shouldn’t I take the opportunity?”
“…”
“You had this amazing girl. And all you do is not notice her brightness… You did not take care of her well enough. Because if you did- she still would’ve chosen you despite my confession to her right?”
Amber was secretly balling her hands into fists. She’s gonna explode anytime. “You sure you’re going to treat her better than I do?” She slowly leans in- “Then promise me one thing.”
There Amber saw the determination in his eyes. “Okay. What is it?”
“I told him to not do the things you did not like doing and I made him sure that he doesn’t do that. I told him the things that you like doing and I made him promise that he would do that with you. Like how you always favored flavored tea rather than iced coffee in the morning or how you liked baking and making and perfecting tarts or how you disliked talking to other girls too much…” Amber trails off. “Or how you liked weird photos and I told him to always appreciate you.” She answers. “That was all I made him promise to me.”
“…”
“When you secretly broken up with me and when I found out that you guys were really dating, I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was so mad… I was so mad because you’re in love with someone and that someone is not me. And I was ing envious of him.” Amber pauses for a while, slightly getting mad just remembering that memory with Kai. “His perfection… “ She trails off. “He stole you from me… You were the one who supposed to hold me down and comfort me when everyone’s against me. You should love me and not him, you were suppose to kiss me not him. But I was wrong you know? I was so mad at you guys for betraying me. But then I noticed that life goes on and you go on and live in the present. What you have with him now is wonderful… And you both deserve every bit of happi-“
Amber wasn’t able to finish what she had to say because she came across Krystal’s flying hand and it landed to her cheek. And believe me, it landed there hard. She looked at Krystal who was still immovable while she held onto her cheek. She wondered why the latter suddenly slapped her in the face. She wanted to think that it was only because she was drunk. But now looking at her eyes, she knows it’s a different reason from what she’s thinking right now.
“Even after breaking up with me… You still decided to be selfish huh? Well that’s just great Amber. Just ing great!” Krystal could not control it anymore and threw the whisky bottle at the concrete wall. “Could you not get what he was trying to say?! He told you that he’s better at taking care of me!”
“I ing understood that!” Amber retorts.
“THEN WHY WOULD YOU TURN HIM INTO SOMEONE LIKE YOU?!” She screams. “Why would you make him promise you that?! Didn’t it occurred to you that I only like doing those things- disliked doing those things- hated those things all because of you?!” Amber did not know what to say. “I preferred flavored tea because your doctor told you to stop drinking strong coffee in the morning and so I had to influence you. I liked baking because you’re in love with bread!” She tried controlling her voice because she did not want any attention. “I hated person who talked to girls so much because you’re too friendly with everybody and I was afraid to lose you! Can’t you see that? I liked and disliked stuff all because I love you! And here you are, turning him into someone like you! Do you really want me to be all alone by myself!?”
“Of course not! I did not want you to be alone Krystal. I wanted you to be with me!”
“So that’s why you’re trying to make a carbon copy of you by making him promise those things?! That’s ing stupid! It’s like you never want me to move on from you!”
“See that’s where you’re wrong. I wanted you to be happy… Even if it’s not with me then fine. As long as your happy.” Amber spoke softly and with sincerity hoping she’d feel it. “That’s all I ever wanted in the first place.”
“If you want me to be happy- then you should’ve never made him promise those things. I fell in love with him because he’s him. He’s Jongin… Not because he’s some premium copy of Amber Liu.”
And ever since that night, the chances of being truly friends with Krystal have been sunk deeper than the Titanic nor RMS Republic.
Ever since that day- Amber saw the sudden change in Krystal and her relationship with Kai. She saw how romantic and how vocal the two have been. In SMTown Japan, the two couldn’t be separated and of course the fans cheered on and on for them and even went viral every social networking site. It was all Amber could see from her friends’ snapchat, the trending from twitter and in instagram too. Speaking of the photo sharing application, both have been vocal there too. Leaving comments on each others’ posts and even posting their date pictures together. They also spent the vacation in Paris, the most romantic place in the whole world right after they went to Hawaii for another series of SMTown where again, the tandem stuck together like they were bonded by hard glue.
During practices, Kai would just drop by and give treats to the girls and give roses to Krystal and would wait up for her. He would even drop by her house early in the morning to have breakfast not just with Krystal, but with her family as well. And of course, Krystal’s family adored the guy. He was all over Krystal and became their bet in becoming Krystal’s future husband.
And how would Amber know all of that? Simple. One morning she was about to bring some apology breakfast over at the Jungs’ and hoping to reconcile with her but then she saw a very unfamiliar car parked just right outside of the house. And there she saw while hiding in one of the electric post, Kai and Krystal hand in hand while saying and having last conversation with her parents before heading off to another one of their dates that she’ll surely see in the social sites later on.
Amber wanted to be okay with it. But it was too much like it was all over the place and now she’s becoming irritated. Like right now, where Henry and Scott are over her apartment enjoying a peaceful Saturday afternoon. She used to be okay after playing games and music with them. But when Henry opened up the topic about Kai and Krystal- they’ve just talked about it non-stop.
“Yeah man. I mean it was so romantic to get out of his schedule just to see Krystal even for a few minutes.”
“A friend of mine saw them together in Myeongdong enjoying food trips together. She knew it was him. She was an avid fan of the group and you know fan girls.”
“Yeah.” Henry nods his head. “I have a lot of them.” That made Amber secretly roll her eyes.
“I am just glad that they are so over in the hiding stage and just have fun in each others’ company.”
“Yeah, totally. I truly root for them. Kaistal is real as … I am not gonna wonder if they’re gonna announce their marriage soon.”
“OKAY!” Amber suddenly stands up. “Anybody wants to talk about anything else other than other people’s relationship?”
Both of the guys looked at her weirdly. “You’re such a weirdo.”
“I’m the weirdo? You guys are. You sound like fan girls of them.”
“So what if we were? What is it to you then?”
“Then maybe you should call other supporters of their relationship and have some group meeting somewhere else other than my house. You two are irritating as hell.”
“Why? Is it because she’s your ex and you can’t get over the fact that she’s in love with someone else?” Scott suggests.
“No. I am so over that fact okay?”
“Or maybe because you hate Kai so much for stealing your girl because you still feel the same way.”
“What?” She looks at her friends with such disbelief. “Are you guys sure you are my friends?”
They both shrugged. “So what if we are talking about them Am? I mean, you should be happy too right? She’s as happy as you are now.”
“She’s happy now I get it okay? I know how inseparable the two are whenever we have concerts overseas. I see them walking around the stage hand in hand. I also know their date and the sudden visits because I am there practicing and trying to focus on my own but their sweetness to one another won’t just let me. Oh, and do you guys want to know something? Her parents really like him so much that I might think that they’re gonna be the ones to buy the ring, give it to Kai so that he can propose to Krystal and then maybe Henry, your theory is gonna be true and you are probably going to be the happiest person on Earth! So yeah! I know that she’s happy. She’s ing happy and I couldn’t be happier for her trust me. Is that what you want to hear from me? Do you want some tea and some macaroons to go while we continuously talk how perfect they are for each other?”
The two men just stared at Amber while she moves her chest up and down, trying to calm herself from the sudden outburst. Even she was surprise at the gradual rising tone of her voice. Her friends made sense. They could talk about the two even if they were in her apartment. They could talk about their sweetness even if she was stuck in the middle there. They could talk about it even if Amber was the recent ex of Krystal. Because only a few days left before marking their anniversary for the break-up. And in that year, it wasn’t only Krystal who founded love. Amber founded love too.
“Whoa Amber chill. If you don’t want to talk about them just say so and we’re gonna shut our mouths.” Scott calmly says. “No need to beef up on us.”
Amber wanted to roll her eyes. That’s what she has been trying to do for the past minutes. “We’ll just head out Am. Clearly you need some cleaning need to do. And I am not referring only to your apartment.”
Amber sighed. “Sorry guys. I never meant to-“
“Hey.” Henry taps her back. “It’s cool. We’ve been talking about them non-stop. Sorry about that…”
“Thanks guys.” She gives them a smile. “Let me treat you some other time.”
“Now that’s what I am talking about!” Scott and Henry did a high five.
Amber did not send them out. They knew the way out… She just started cleaning the mess they have made due to the playing games and thrashing around. But she surely heard Henry suddenly say-
“Holy . I mean- hey Krystal.”
Hearing that from Henry suddenly made Amber furrow her eyebrows in confusion. She just shakes her head and continues what she was doing. Really? Krystal visiting her home? That’s impossible. After what happened between the two of them in Bangkok, she might as well whales are purple and dolphins are pink if Krystal is-
“Did I came at the wrong time?”
DON'T CRY BECAUSE IT'S OVER. SMILE BECAUSE IT HAPPENED.
IS IT REALLY OVER THOUGH? ;)
You better go and wait for the part 2. And before I forget-
I JUST NEED A FEW COMMENTS TO SHOW HOW MUCH YOU GUYS MISSED ME. IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH YOU KNOW. HAHAHAHAHA.
I'll see you really soon guys.
DonkeyASS is walkin' out! :P
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