Sungjong knocked on the man's door, uncertainly. His backpack was slung over his shoulder and his eyes were red and puffy. 

He hated himself. He hated himself for leaving like that. By now, Myungsoo was awake and had seen the letter. By now, Sungjong had hurt the only person he'd never, ever wanted to hurt. And he hated himself for it.

The door opened to reveal a shorter man, with a thin face and dark hair. The man raised his eyebrows at the sight of Sungjong.

"Well." He said, crossing his arms and leaning on the doorframe. "Isn't this a surprise. 

"Hey Jokwon..."

"What brings you?" Sungjong swallowed.

"I... I ed up." Jokwon sighed and moved from the doorway.

"Come in." He said. Sungjong walked in and surveyed the room. It wasn't much different than he remembered. Simple decorations, including a large couch and armchair. On the table was an empty pizza box.

"You can sit down." Jokwon said and Sungjong sank into the couch. He pulled off his backpack and set it down. "Want some coffee?" Sungjong shook his head. "Suit yourself." 

A minute later, Jokwon sat down next to him with a mug in his hand.

"So," he said. "What happened?" Tears started to fill in Sungjong's eyes again, but he willed himself to not cry.

"I hurt Myungsoo." He whispered. "He- he's loved me for so long, and he's given me so much, and he's done nothing but be good to me and I got scared- Jokwon I don't know how to deal with being loved like that! But I'm a disgusting person and I couldn't take it and I felt so suffocated and scared, and like I was lying to him, so I just... I- I wrote him a note, because my cowardly ing couldn't even face him, and I grabbed my stuff and I just left and I came here and I don't know what to do, and I've probably ruined Myungsoo's entire ing life and he deserves so much more, and he deserves everything I can't give him and I just-" And that's when he broke. It was like a cord inside of him had snapped and he became a house of cards, tumbling in on himself. He burst into tears and then Jokwon's arms were around him and he was whispering to Sungjong, trying to console him, even though both of them knew it was hopeless.

Tears streamed down his cheeks, and all he could think about was Myungsoo. His beautiful dark eyes, which shone every time he smiled. The little laugh that escaped him when he was surprised it caught off guard that he hated so much, but Sungjong had loved so dearly. His hands, and his long slim fingers that were rough and calloused from his guitar. His dark shaggy hair that was a constant mess and would fall over his eyes and grow even more until Sungjong would demand Myungsoo cut his hair. His crooked smile that made Sungjong's heart stop and his breath catch. 

The smile that he might never see again. The eyes that would become clouded with grief and pain from Sungjong's betrayal. The fingers that would shake, as though adrenaline was rushing through him, though it was the exact opposite that he'd be feeling. The laugh that might never sound again.

"Jokwon what do I do?" He managed to gasp out between sobs. He buried his face in Jokwon's chest, his years soaking the older man's shirt. He was holding onto Jokwon like a lifeline, just trying to keep himself grounded, even a little. Jokwon his hair, his other hand pulled Sungjong closer.

"I don't know." He whispered. "I don't know, but I swear to God, I will help you find out."

Jokwon had always known that something like this might happen. That Sungjong might show up at his door, confused and lost and scared, but he hadn't expected anything on this level. And he hadn't ever expected Sungjong to have fallen so deeply in love with someone that he might resort to hurting himself so much because he was scared. Sungjong was selfish, and careless, but he had tried so hard to make people he loved happy. He had tried to fix himself on his own, without the proper tools, and had only succeeded in breaking himself more.

And Myungsoo... Oh God, poor Myungsoo. The boy had devoted every bit of himself into Sungjong. It had never been a good idea, loving someone who so quickly threw himself into things. Who had been broken so badly that it would take a miracle to fix him. Myungsoo had known, know the chances he was taking for Sungjong, but he hadn't been prepared to lose him. Myungsoo had tried so desperately to give Sungjong everything, but hadn't realized that Sungjong wasn't ready to receive it. 

The two were broken from the start. Two lovers who loved each other but didn't know how to love, and thus they couldn't last. 

And Jokwon just hoped that maybe the future could change that.

Myungsoo knocked on the door. He barely remembered walking here. He couldn't think straight, he'd just known he needed someone, something, that could pull him back to reality.

The door was opened by a tall, slender man, whose eyes widened as soon as he meet Myungsoo's blank stare.

"What he hell happened?" He asked, pulling Myungsoo into the apartment. Myungsoo didn't answer for a moment. Just let himself be dragged along by the older man.

"Sit." The man ordered and lightly pushed Myungsoo, so that he sat down on the couch behind him. The man sat next to him and looked at him expectantly. After a moment of silence, he spoke.

"Sungyeol..." Sungyeol raised his eyebrows, a worried look on his face. "What do you do when you lose the person you love most?" Sungyeol's mouth opened slightly, but he seemed at a loss for words.

"What happened?" He asked after a moment. Myungsoo stared at his shaking hands, which rested in his lap, clasped slightly.

"Sungjong's gone." He whispered.

"Gone... How?" Sungyeol asked and Myungsoo swallowed, blinking back tears.

"He left. I- I woke up to find a note with my name on it and I opened it and read it a-and..." His voice broke. "And he wrote that he couldn't handle it. He felt like he couldn't breath, and that he was scared and I-I just... Did I drive him away?" Tears had started to slip from Myungsoo's eyes, which were glassy and full of a sort of raw pain which Sungyeol had never seen before. "Did I suffocate him so much that I scared him into leaving?"

"No... No, Myungsoo I'm sure that's not it." Sungyeol grabbed Myungsoo's hand, but Myungsoo didn't even acknowledge him.

"He apologized so much but I can't help but feel it was my fault." Myungsoo's voice was cracked and choked and Sungyeol felt sick. He'd seen Myungsoo upset before, but not like this. "Hyung, he ran away because I shoved too much on him and he wasn't ready for it. I hurt him that much, and I was just so selfish, and I can't even-"

"Myungsoo. Stop. Stop blaming yourself. Sungjong wasn't ready, yes, but you didn't know. If he didn't tell you, then you couldn't-"

"I could've." There was almost a desperate sound in Myungsoo's voice. He met Sungyeol's eyes and Sungyeol felt his heart miss a beat. Myungsoo's normally calm eyes were wide and full of a terrifying desperation, a wild and almost primal look that scared Sungyeol. He looked scared and angry and sick and hurt and a hundred other feelings. It was such a human and personal look that Sungyeol felt like it was something he should have never seen. It was a look that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Sungjong had been Myungsoo's world. Sungyeol had known it the second he saw Myungsoo look at Sungjong. And even then, he had been scared that Sungjong would hurt Myungsoo. He had seen the way Sungjong spoke, and walked. The way he set his shoulders to show he wasn't scared. The forced pride on his face. He has reminded Sungyeol of an alleycat. Pretty, making smooth movements and stalking around like he owns the world, and yet the smallest thing could scare him away.

Myungsoo hadn't been ready. He would never have been ready for Sungjong being scared away. He had befriended the cat and gained its affection but one day he approached it too fast and scared it away.

"I could've." Myungsoo repeated. "I should've- I should've asked. Gone slower. I should have given him space, time, let him breath. But I didn't. Sungyeol, this is all my fault, I drove him away. The only person I ever loved and I just-" Myungsoo's voice broke again and he burst into tears. Sungyeol wrapped his arms around the younger boy, holding him, trying to keep him from falling to pieces.