Bexter

I. Our Anacrusis [Dahyun]

Maybe I’m just lucky, was something I would often think to myself when I listen to the life stories of my friends or even strangers I’d probably never meet ever again. It starts the same way, ever since a young age teachers would ask, “Who has been bullied in their life at least once?” and everyone around me would raise their hands. I did too, but not because it happened but because I felt guilty. Why haven’t I been bullied before? Then, when I grew up the cycle would start again. Why was I never into all of the stupid high school drama? I had friends who live with – for the lack of a better word – trash. It was hard to imagine just how tough their lives must’ve been. Yet, here I was. From birth until now, never experienced a hitch. Life was as smooth as ever. I guess I really am just lucky. Will my luck ever run out?

“Have you prepared for your solo performance?”

I glanced over at a friend of mine I had gotten the pleasure to know through the Music Club of our school. Park Jihyo was her name, and she was the best singer I had ever met. I dangled my legs off the edge of the stage of the auditorium and watched her amble her way over to where I was. “I guess” I hadn’t even chosen a song yet, but no one needed to know that.

“You guess?”

She was definitely questioning me as I saw her eyebrows rise, “What? You don’t believe me?” I flashed her the one expression she hated: the smirk. I pushed myself off the stage to be on the same level as Jihyo in order to face her properly. She was a big fan of eye contact and it was the main determining factor to see whether she’d deem someone as a liar or as honest. “Don’t worry about it, I got it under control. I’m the only pianist here that can live up to your ridiculous standards anyway” I reassured her with a playful wink.

“You have got to be the most arrogant person I’ve ever met.”

My joking demeanor clearly did not amuse Jihyo at the moment but she’d have to deal with it like she always every other day. Rehearsals were over and I needed to lighten the atmosphere of this auditorium before I left. It was like my lucky charm. If I didn’t do it, I’d feel horrible for the rest of the day and it’d bother me to no end, “Hey… who else is going to be confident in me if I’m not even confident in myself?”

A smile cracked onto Jihyo’s face and I knew that my job for today was done. The auditorium was at ease and my mind was at peace. “I’m going to head off now then” I grabbed my backpack and headed off after getting Jihyo’s nod of approval for my dismissal. The last thing I heard before I closed the auditorium doors behind me was a “take care” from Jihyo. She really was such a sweetheart.

It seems like I still had some time to spare. The sun hadn’t set yet and light breeze was awfully comforting. An empty school had a particular sense of beauty to it that could only be appreciated after seeing the bustling crowd of students running around and yelling at each other throughout the day. I could almost imagine where the students would be if the scenery before me were to be during lunch or the morning. There was a sense of nostalgia to it even though I had never left. I found it oddly comforting. I liked it.

I headed towards the main school building after deciding that standing there being mesmerized by an empty school’s scenery wasn’t the most productive thing to be doing right now. Our school wasn’t the biggest school out there but it sure wasn’t a small one. There were three major buildings that the school was composed by: the main school building (where all the classrooms were located and consisted of three levels), the gym, and the auditorium. A few little sheds and storage rooms were scattered around but there was no need for students to use those unless a teacher had asked us to put something away or to get something that had been put away.

Who would’ve thought that strolling along the corridors of the main school building would be so relaxing at this hour? Most people either rush back home or rush to their cram schools. I preferred staying back a little bit. Get some fresh air after rehearsals before heading home. It became a part of my routine for every school day.

I took in a deep breath and as I was about to exhale an ugly chord interrupted my little ‘moment’ of calm. It was hard to ignore as a pianist and high achieving music student. It was also hard to not be curious. Clearly, some had stayed behind to play around with a piano and clearly they also happened to have no clue what they were doing. I fastened my pace and made my way in the direction of the music rooms. I peeked into the room that had the door closed more than any other room, but it wasn’t sealed shut. It was just ajar.

Carefully, I softly entered the room to find a student with shoulder length hair sitting at the piano. She seemed to be contemplating about something before playing another random sequence of notes. The urge to make my presence known became more and more intense so, I reached out and tapped the girl on the shoulder. She jumped at the light touch and let out a little yelp. It was hard to contain, so I had let slip a chuckle. The girl didn’t move for a good five seconds before abruptly turning around wanting to leave, as she picked up her backpack that had been resting against a leg of the piano.

What a waste, I don’t want her to leave yet. I didn't even catch her name. “Why are you leaving?” I asked immediately, before she had fully exited the room. She didn’t even look back as she answered in a hurry.

“I need to go.”

I couldn’t help but release a chuckle again. This was just too cute of a sight. “I know, but I’m asking you why. If it’s because I interrupted you, then I apologize” I paused to see if I’d get a reaction but all I got was a flushed face, “You can stay. I should be the one leaving.”

“I don’t know how to play anyway. Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

There was no instant response I could think of because I was too busy watching her fiddling around with her fingers. She must be a little nervous. Did I scare her? I probably did, that was why she screamed right? I saw her starting to turn away again and on reflex my first reaction was to stop her. Again.

“You should drop by the music club,” I blurted out without much thought. Anything would do. My main goal was to keep her here for as long as possible. No, at least until I get her name and she gets mine.

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you’d be interested in joining” I must seem like such a weird person right now. First I scare her and now I’m speaking as if I know her. Why would she be interested in joining? Good question. But, let’s look on the bright side. She stopped to listen. Again. That must mean something. I must be tolerable to some extent.

"I can't play any instrument, in fact. I'd be no use for your club."

“I can teach you” now, that was the most reliable thing I’ve said to this girl throughout this entire conversation. Yes, I’m on the right track.

Even though this conversation could be classified as ‘running smoothly’ it wasn’t difficult to notice the sharp tone the latter was giving. She seemed like quite the impatient soul.   

“I’ll be late if you keep me here. I thought I made my position clear.”

I smiled at the girl’s slight temper. I found it more endearing than anything else, “Just hear me out.”

“You have two minutes… and twenty seconds, to be exact.”

My smile widened as I saw her glance at her watch. She was counting. “I play the piano so I can teach you, that’s all I wanted to say” I explained. It wasn’t the original plan but the whole situation kind of led me here so it was best to just go with the flow of events.

“Just so I'd join the music club?”

I shrugged, “Why not? What, you scared you won’t make it that far?” For a moment I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me as I had just witnessed a faint smile appear on the latter. Sure, it was faint but it was better than nothing. I mentally noted it down: the first time I had seen her smile. It was beautiful.

“Are you saying I’m incapable?”

I like how this was progressing. Had I triggered the inner fire in her? Was she feeling challenged? If this was what it took to get her attention I’d gladly it do it over and over again. “Then… are you saying you’re capable?” I asked back.

“I am perfectly capable.”

This was it, if she doesn’t agree then I’d just have to accept reality and let her go about her day and probably never see her again. “Prove it.” She gave a little scoff in response and looked me in the eye for what seemed like the first time during this conversation (maybe she had before, but it slipped my mind). The last thing she gave was a nod before turning back around again and finally managing to open the door to leave. And, I let her because my job was done. I knew I’d get to meet her again.

But there was just one last thing, “Kim Dahyun” I called out to her, “That’s my name.”

I still needed her name.

“Son Chaeyoung” she called back.

I smiled as I watched her disappear behind the door. Son Chaeyoung, I repeated her name in my head. 

Nice to meet you…

Amidst my excitement for scouting the most adorable piano student I could ever teach – by chance – I had completely forgotten about my solo performance. Now, here the members of my club in the music room bombarded me. It was actually the exact room I had my fated meeting, but unfortunately that wasn’t the important part of what was happening right now.

“So… Kim Dahyun.”

I shuddered at the voice. Jihyo sure was scary when she was serious, and maybe just slightly mad. I flashed a sheepish smile as I prayed to God that I would be able to return home in one piece today. My plan was to wing it. Yes, it wasn’t the most complicated and well thought out plan but it would have to suffice.

“Why is it that on the day of your evaluation for your solo performance, it is also the day you decide to lurk in the music room trying to convince me that you’re sick?”

I coughed. Yes, I coughed. It wasn’t the most perfect cough, nor was it very realistic but I had decided to be brazen today so I must stick with the original plan. “Well… I am sick, technically” I let out a little cough again, hoping it would add some sort of credibility to my act (although I knew very well Jihyo would never buy into such a lame act).

Jihyo sighed, “Fine. Let’s assume that you are sick, it shouldn’t effect your evaluation in any way.”

She had paused and I swear I saw the most evil smirk appear across her face. If I were to die in her hands today, I only had one dying question: why were we ever friends? How did it happen? Every time I try to remember, it seemed like a lie. She was such a saint back in the day. People sure change fast.

“You’re the mighty pianist Dahyun. No one can beat your talent” Jihyo exclaimed, “What’s a little cough to a genius?”

I smiled, “True.” Wait, what did I just say? I just had to be weak against compliments. If only I was the type to grow from criticism, then maybe I wouldn’t be getting myself into these kinds of mess. It seemed like it was too late to back out of my act. I just needed to it up and play a song from the top of my head, “I’ll do the evaluation now then,” I said confidently.

Jihyo raised an eyebrow, “Sure. We are in a music room after all.”

I looked at my friend and club mates as I walked over to the piano and sat down carefully at the bench. Everyone’s eyes were on me and I knew I had to prove myself. The younger members looked up to me so much, I couldn’t let them down.

I took a few steady breaths as I placed my fingers on the piano keys. I closed my eyes and pressed down strong, accented for the first chord. The first song to pop into my head this particular day happened to be Pathétique 1st Movement, Opus 13 No. 8. It was a fun piece and personally I loved playing it. There was a certain atmosphere this song brought about that I simply enjoyed. I found comfort in the piano, in music. It was able to express emotions and convey messages no languages could ever. The more I was immersed in the music, the more I realized how much the piano had done for me. Maybe I was lucky because of the piano. People were naturally drawn to me ever since I was a little girl, knowing that I played the piano. Everyone found it fascinating, and whenever someone else also played we’d bond quickly simply because we both played the piano. But, I was never sure whether people liked me because of my talent or, pretended to like me because they felt they could never win against my talent and preferred not to make fools out of themselves.

I played the last note and let it resonate as l heard timid claps. I turned to Jihyo with a big grin, “See. I told you I was ready.”

Jihyo definitely opened to speak but I completely disregarded her words as I caught a familiar figure in the corner of my eye. I turned to see her. Chaeyoung. It was Chaeyoung. She had been watching from behind the door. I stood up without much care for Jihyo’s reaction and walked towards her. She seemed alarmed as she turned away, so I picked up my pace. “Sorry but I need to go” I said in a hurry as my fast walking gradually became a jog.

She hadn’t made it very far down the corridor, so I caught up in no time. I reached out and grabbed her wrist in order to stop her in her tracks. “Why are you leaving?” I asked the words that tasted awfully familiar. “Is this how our meetings are always going to be? You leaving?” it came out way more serious than anticipated that it even surprised me.

Chaeyoung turned around, “Hey about the piano… can we just forget I ever agreed?”

“Why?” I let her wrist slip out of my grasp due to shock. How could she agree and then just chuck me to the side like this? I didn’t understand. Did I do something wrong? I really must’ve scared her. Now that she had a few nights to think about just how creepy I was, she must’ve been regretting her decision. My panic heightened as I heard a sigh escape the shorter girl’s mouth.

“I’m…”

I waited. I understand. She just needed a moment to gather her thoughts. Okay. No, this pause was going on for way too long. “You’re?” I edged on. I couldn’t handle this suspense. It was too much.

“I’m embarrassed okay? I can't just go in there and pretend I can play the piano. I heard you playing just now and I can’t do that. People are going to make fun of me, and I don’t want to be a walking joke.”

Wow… that was fast. She should be a rapper. I took a second to really digest what she had just said and chuckled at her concerns, “Of course you can’t. I haven’t even taught you anything yet.” She really didn’t seem convinced. I gave an assuring nod, “How about this? Just try me out. Give me a chance to teach you and I’ll make sure you’ll make it.” Our eyes met, and for a second I thought I had been sent to another world. There was so much depth behind those eyes. It inspired me as a musician and as a person in general. I could stare into those eyes all day.

“Where and when?” she asked quick, “I need a time where no one is around…”

I smiled. She really looked embarrassed, “You’re such a cutie.”

“Forget it, I’m heading home now. This is stupid.”

There she goes again, turning around and leaving me. I wouldn’t be surprised if I ended up recognizing her back better than her face. I stopped her again, reaching out to take her wrist for the second time. She needed to know her timetable, “Same music room every night at seven.” I gave her a little grin, “No one’s going to be around at that time. That’s totally your style, am I right?”

“Pretty much… thanks.”

The first lesson with Chaeyoung went smoothly, which was always a good sign. I managed to convince her to learn the song I had chosen out for us: Waltzes Opus 22 No. 6. It was nice little duet that went for about two minutes or so. Of course, she protested at first, saying it was too hard for a beginner like her. I must admit, it might’ve been a little hard but – as selfish as it may sound – I preferred it that way because it meant she’d be stuck with me for longer to learn the piece.

I’d say we’ve somewhat warmed up to each other a lot more now after a week or so of practice, well at least she had loosened up a bit more compared to her previous stiffness. So, as usual, I was stoked for tonight’s session like every other day. I’d never get sick of Chaeyoung. She was exactly my type.

I ambled through the corridor with a big smile across my face ready to greet the little beauty waiting for me inside the music room. Arriving at my destination, I peeked in before opening to enter the room, noticing that Chaeyoung had placed all of her attention onto what seemed like a little notepad. I saw the pen Chaeyoung was holding move from side to side, up and down, in little circles, and all kinds of odd directions. She definitely wasn’t taking notes.

Slowly, I opened the door and quietly made my way over to the girl who had been sitting on the piano bench scribbling something non-stop into a notebook. I looked over her shoulder from behind and saw the scribbles to be artistic doodles. I smiled, “Is that me?” I asked as I noticed a doodle on the side of a girl playing the piano.

Chaeyoung abruptly shut the notebook so fast that her hair lifted a bit from the wind, “What?”

I simply laughed as I placed my bag down and sat beside her. She was clearly embarrassed about me witnessing her doodles, but I saw no problem in me seeing them. “Why did you close it so fast? I wanted to see more” I commented glancing down at the notebook she had tucked away on her lap beneath the piano.

“Why did you enter without saying anything?”

I shrugged, “You looked like you were concentrating on something and I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Chaeyoung let out a frown as she placed the sheet music on the stand, “Hurry up. Let’s start.”

I looked over at her as I placed an elbow on the piano key cover, preventing Chaeyoung from opening it. She turned to me, obviously annoyed at what I had just done. “Yah… how can you draw me like that though?” I asked faking offence, “I look way better than that don’t you think?”

“No” Chaeyoung looked away and attempted to slide open the piano key cover for the second time but the effort ended up in vain, “You look stupid” she said out of spite.

I let out a sigh of disappointment, “I go out of my way to teach you the piano and stay back because you prefer an empty school… and this is how you treat me?” I shook my head, “I’m hurt Chaeyoung. I’m hurt.”

She turned back at me with furrowed eyebrows, “You’re the one who insisted!”

I couldn’t help but grin at her little outburst of frustration, “You like to draw?” It seemed like my jump in topics took her off guard. It was a little out of the blue, considering what I had been blabbing on about just a second ago.

“I guess… yeah.”

My grin widened, “Wow… imagine how artistic our children will be.”

Her face scrunched up at the comment as she shoved me off the bench, “Who said I’d have children with you?”

I laughed as I crawled back onto the piano bench, “I know you will. You’d hate not having me in your life.”

Chaeyoung scoffed as she finally slid the cover over the piano keys open, “Hurry up with the lesson.”

I nodded but before I started to teach I just had to give Chaeyoung one last glance, and I saw it. She had cracked into a faint smile as she shook her head a little. I doubt she even realized she had faintly smiled just now, but I knew and that was all that mattered. I made her smile, and it was the best feeling ever. My new hobby was making Chaeyoung smile.

This particular lesson had been pretty productive. I had also seen a visible change in Chaeyoung these past few days. She was a lot more willing to chat now and wasn’t as guarded as before, which definitely made me feel better about myself, and the role I played in her life. But, one couldn’t ask for too much at once. I shared a lot more about myself than she had ever