Chapter 6

The next day, it was obvious he didn’t remember anything. He walked into the practice room, bleary-eyed, holding an extra-large cup of coffee from the coffee machine downstairs, and shuffled towards the others who were already listening to their manager, reciting the day’s schedule from a sheet of paper that was so filled with tiny scribbles, it almost looked black. He didn’t even look at me as he walked by, and had his eyes closed half the time while people talked around him, organizing his fate for the day.

Later that day, the boys were taking turns doing a photoshoot for some Japanese magazine, and I was sitting on a chair in the back of our waiting room, looking over some videos that I’d just taken of Jimin, Tae and Jungkook acting silly and lip-synching to PSY’s new song, when a red cup of Starbucks coffee materialized between the camera and my face. I looked up to see Hoseok holding the cup and smiling at me.

“What’s that for?” I asked, dumbfounded, as he took a seat on the chair next to mine. He only smirked and said nothing looking at the cup and then back at me. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion and took a sip.

“Gingerbread latte!!” I exclaimed in delight, making him laugh.

“I know. Your favorite.” he replied, leaning back and giving me a little wink that made my insides churn involuntarily, though I tried to ignore it.

“For taking care of this poor idiot above and beyond the call of duty.” he added, jokingly, but with a sincere smile, and I felt my heart soften.

“You got that right.” I scolded him, “Don’t go out drinking alone at night again.” I wagged my finger at him, trying to look threatening, though I doubt it worked.

“I promise.” he said, like a good little boy, clasping his hands together in a prayer motion and bowing his head, which made me laugh. “I won’t.” he smiled, and then added “I’ll call you first.” and winked again.

I aimed a punch at his head but he evaded it easily, laughing at my weakness.

“J-Hope-sshi!” someone called from the other end of the room and both of our heads swiveled up in that direction. A man with a clipboard was standing in the doorway, flanked by Suga and Rapmon, waving at him. Hoseok sauntered over, without even turning around to give me any form of goodbye.

I watched him go, bemused.

The man explained something and Hoseok nodded, listening seriously, then Rapmon said something, and Suga chuckled and smacked Hobi, who burst out laughing, in his over-the-top J-Hope way, with his whole body and an eye-smile that shines for days. His whole presence really did brighten up the whole room when he acted like that. Even the man with the clipboard sported a little smile. I smiled too, even though I still wanted to sulk that he’d ditched me so carelessly.

I sat, observing him as they talked, and let my thoughts wander. When had he gotten this cute, really? He was tired, that was plain to see from the bags under his eyes that hadn’t been camouflaged by the makeup artist yet, but he still looked so good in the outfit he’d been styled-in for this photoshoot. That low-cut, form-fitting black t-shirt especially, paired up with skinny old-fashioned jeans, held up by suspenders, and that carefully tousled way his hair had been styled, to make him look as if he’d just woken up like this… it was all really flattering on him. And that shirt really did look indecent without the bomber jacket it was meant to hide under… and did he really have to wear a choker???

When I realized what I was doing, I forcibly turned my head away and gave myself a little shake. ‘What are you doing, Kang Nari?!’ I scolded myself mentally, ‘You’re being an idiot.’

It was all because of that one stupid comment. One stupid comment he’d made while drunk, which he probably didn’t even remember… yet I felt my cheeks heat up in remembrance…

“Noona… you’re pretty.”

I shook myself up again and bent down to grab my camera from the floor to distract myself. It was just drunken nonsense anyways.

That’s what I tried telling myself.

*

After the shoot, we all headed over to Mcountdown for the live show. The atmosphere and the boys were high on energy since it was going to be their last live promos before heading to Japan for their first set of HYYH concerts. It was also the last time they were performing without the pressure of being up for 1 with the new song, and they just acted silly and playful the whole time – the best kind of Bangtan. And whenever they didn’t sleep much, they tended to act a little crazy, so it meant there was a lot of fodder for my camera.

I took several videos of the maknae line playing antics on Suga, who was trying to rest; an especially funny one of Namjoon trying to dance to EXID’s newest song, and one of J-Hope and Kookie roleplaying as each other. Kookie imitating Hobi was especially hilarious and on point, but got even funnier when Tae joined in, pretending to be a monster and Kookie ran off shrieking like a little girl. Hobi got all offended, whining that he wouldn’t be scared of a monster cuz they aren’t real, and Jimin came over and put an arm around him saying “Ahh… it’s ok… we know you’re a manly-man, Hobi-hyung.” and Hoseok acted delighted that he had Jimin’s love, but then Jimin said, “but you’d totally be ting your pants if there was a monster.” and Hobi snapped “Ya!” and tried to punch him on the arm while Jimin ran off, cackling. That was going to make a good bomb.

After the show, it was back in the van and off to not one, but two more TV stations to do pre-recordings for the shows they were going to miss while doing their concerts in Japan. Honestly, I’m not sure whose bright idea it was to go abroad in the middle of their first week of promos, but there you have it. It’s not like they had a choice. It was well past 2am by the time they were done, and someone drove them back home, to pick them up again a mere 5 hours later for their flight to Japan. Needless to say, we were all sleeping on the plane.

*

As soon as we landed in Japan, the boys were shipped off, bleary-eyed to their first interview of the day, while the rest of the crew and I headed to our hotel, to unpack. We were given the afternoon off, and I chose to use it for a nap, but the boys had no such luck seeing as they were expected to record several appearances for their Japanese promotions in just that one day. I joined with them again around dinner time, while they were giving an interview for a teen magazine in one of their hotel rooms. It was past 10pm when the journalists finally left and they were actually allowed to eat something. You’d think that they would just choose to kick all of us out and sleep, but instead, they were so excited about the upcoming arena show that they ordered room service and stayed up dicking around til the wee hours of the morning.

That proved to be a considerable lack in judgement when they could barely keep their eyes open during rehearsal the next day. Still, the boys were pros by now and went through the motions without complaints. That said, the dressing room was an incredibly quiet place in the hours that followed since they were all passed out in various states of embarrassment all across the room. Even Taehyung, who usually couldn’t stand still before a show, was snoring away in a corner, sitting on a couch with his mouth open.

The first show was good, if not really the best they’d had... The boys were tired, and if it didn’t show in their performance, it did in their ability to remember the Japanese sentences they were supposed to have memorized; or lack thereof. Still, something did happen that would end up making that show memorable.

Normally, there wasn’t much for me to do during concerts so I usually either helped whoever needed an extra pair of hands, or hid away in a corner, watching something on my phone and trying not to be a hindrance. That day was one of the latter. I was scrolling down my twitter list absentmindedly when something popped up that nearly made me drop my phone. “oh my god!!” I gasped, standing up in my chair, eyes wide with shock.

“What?” asked Jiyoon, who’d been quietly cleaning her make-up brushes a few paces away. I looked up at her, dumbfounded and showed her my phone.

“Oh my god!!” she repeated my words and we started screaming in delight.

Our cheers soon attracted one of the managers, who demanded to know what was going on, so I showed him the picture. “Oppa! We won!!”

He looked down at my phone and it took him a few moments to realize what we were talking about. Through all the stress and excitement of the boys’ very first arena concert, I think all of us had forgotten that today was also the first day that Bangtan was up for number one on a music show, and they had done it. The boys and ARMY had done it. They were number one again. A tiny look of pride crossed his features, but then his constant scowl was back on as he instructed us to absolutely not tell the boys until the show was over.

Jiyoon and I both narrowed our eyes at him, party-pooper that he was, but nodded, before continuing to squeal, trying to look up videos, as he walked away.

By the time the boys finished their encore, word had spread through the entire staff and everyone was giddy with excitement. I was waiting right behind the stage with everyone else, and as soon as the boys came running off – all sweaty, tired and elated – let my streamer go off with everyone else as we shouted “CONGRATULATIONS!!!” and then I brought up my camera.

Rapmon smiled good-naturedly, thinking they were being congratulated for finishing the concert, but then his eyes widened as the saw the sign Jiyoon was holding. It was a crude thing I’d made in 5 minutes, on the back of a cardboard box I’d found in the storage room, but it said “Bangtan RUN no.1 on Show Champion!!!” and then he started jumping up and down, and shaking Jimin next to him and pointing at the sign, and soon they were all jumping and screaming and being complete children in their delight, which was beautiful to behold.

We’d won.

Even though I had nothing to do with it, I couldn’t help feeling proud.

You might think the reaction was a little bit excessive… after all, it wasn’t an award show, and it wasn’t the first time either… heck, it wasn’t even one of the big3. But I know that a lot of the boys were worried that I Need U had somehow been a one-time thing and that it wouldn’t happen again. But no, they had done it. ARMY had done it. It was real. Bangtan was becoming a group that people paid attention to, and that, my friend, was why it meant so much. They cried this time. Suga and Jimin cried first and everyone was super emotional long after the show had ended. I filmed more behind-the-scenes things, but it felt so wrong somehow, like I was intruding on their private happiness, but I knew the boss would want me to, and that fans would be dying to see this, so I filmed it all.

I put my camera away when a bottle of champagne materialized in the hands of one of the managers, and they fought over who would be the one to open it, Jungkook finally winning over and popping it, splashing nearly half its contents on his fellow members in the process, though no one complained. Everyone laughed and took a cup and we all toasted to their victory, laughing and hugging each other. It became one of the best memories I have of working on that team.

It took a lot longer than usual to pack up and leave, but finally, we did and all drove back to the hotel, where a manager announced that we’d be having a victory party at some izakaya in about an hour. All I wanted to do was crash into bed, and I’m sure the boys did too, but there was no way that missing such an event would be considered acceptable, so I got into the van with the rest of the staff girls and we were driven off to a nearby izakaya.

The boys all arrived together maybe 30 minutes later and we all cheered for them again. We ate a lot, and drank a lot, and I knew that I would regret it in the morning but at the moment, it felt right to celebrate.

We had a whole room to ourselves and, as the evening wore on, people separated in little clumps, chatting here and there and others making rounds around the room, pouring drinks for their elders and all that. I was glad that, being one of the oldest girls on staff, I was spared that kind of waitressing duty, so I just stayed in my seat, leaning against the wall, sipping on my beer contentedly, while my dongsaengs ran laps around the room.

“Noona,” I looked up to see Hoseok crawling up to me with a big bottle of Sapporo beer in his hand. He motioned at my glass and I brought it forward towards him so he could fill it up.

“I should be the one serving you, you big star.” I teased, after taking a sip.

He flashed me a huge heart-shaped grin, but then looked down in half-embarrassment.

“Nah…” he answered, “not yet.” he gave me a little wink and then put the bottle down on the long, low table in front of us, before settling against the wall in a position similar to mine, and then he gave a big sigh. But it was a sigh of contentment, and he closed his eyes and smiled. “I can’t believe we won.”

“Believe it, kiddo.” I said, tipping my glass at him as he opened his eyes to look at me.

He smiled again. He was really the cutest when he smiled. And this was a real smile, devoid of any snarkiness or flirtatious intent. It was a pure smile, and that’s what made it so beautiful. I took a large gulp and pointed at the bottle again, trying to distract him from the blush creeping over my cheeks. He grabbed it and filled my glass again.

“Nah but seriously… I mean, we were confident that the song was good but… after I Need U…” he let his words trail off, looking down at the bottle in his hands.

“You were afraid it was a fluke?”

He looked up at me and nodded.

“It wasn’t a fluke, Hoseok-ah,” I told him, and he gave me a weak, shy smile. I didn’t know why I’d called him that. Usually I just called him Hobi, or some much less flattering qualifier, but it had just come out, and it made me feel all weird. Like it was too intimate. I mean it wasn’t strange for me to call on him so affectionately, considering how long we’d worked together, and how close we’d gotten over the years, but somehow it made my insides churn. Maybe I was just drunk. I interrupted my dangerous train of thoughts and decided to violently ruffle his hair instead. Treating him like a child would help remind me that it was the one and only way I should be looking at him.

“Yah!!” he chided me, trying to restore order to his hair while I chuckled, but then when he looked back at me, he was grinning.

“You always seem to know what I’m thinking.” He smiled a rare smile that reached his eyes.

“Oh trust me I don’t.” I replied, “In fact, I hope to never EVER know exactly what’s going on inside that dirty mind of yours…”

He let out a loud, mirthful laugh and looked back at me, wiggling his eyebrows ily, and I nearly spit out the sip of beer I’d just taken. He opened his mouth to say something, but just then someone shouted his name from across the room.

“Hobi-hyung! Come here!” we both turned around to see Jimin’s bright orange head waving him over.

“Ah well, I suppose we’ll have to continue this conversation next time,” he said, hopping into a squat and giving me a little wink. Then he ran off to his friend without another word, leaving the bottle of beer right there on the table.

I watched him go, bemused, and chuckled, trying to understand what it was that he and Jimin were trying to demonstrate – and failing – to one of the tech guys.

“Watch yourself, girl… you don’t wanna become just another number on his list…”

I looked up to see Eun-bi sitting in front of me and staring pointedly.

“Excuse me??” I asked, pretending not to know what she was hinting at.

“You remember Dara?” she asked me, pouring herself a drink from the bottle Hoseok had left there.

Dara was one of the girls who used to do the boys’ makeup before Jiyoon came around, and of course I remembered her. We’d actually been on good terms before she quit.

“Why do you think she quit?” she asked, raising her eyebrows pointedly, looking across the room at Hoseok who was laughing and acting silly with Jimin.

“No way. Dara quit because she got a job that paid 3 times more on Running Man.” I disagreed, shaking my head, and looking back at her like she was talking crazy.

“She got that job AFTER he got into her pants and turned her into a silly, whimpering fool.” She went on, matter-of-factly, taking a large swig of beer and smacking her lips in satisfaction.

I peered at Hoseok again. His whole demeanor was so carefree, and there was something in just the way he held himself that was so attractive…

I couldn’t believe it, I wouldn’t believe it… Dara had been the youngest in our group, and arguably the prettiest. She had a different boyfriend every month, and yet… Yes, she had seemed rather sad the last few weeks prior to her departure. Oh dear god, could it be true?

“But…” I stammered, “He stopped sleeping around though… he’s been good since that pregnancy incident…” I retorted, unsure why I was defending him.

“Sure… let’s see how long that lasts…” she told me, in a deeply unimpressed manner, “We’ve all got a bet going in the prep crew. I give him til Christmas before he cracks.” She chuckled as if she was telling me a secret.

“Omg, that’s horrible!!” I exclaimed, but she just barked a laugh and poured me another drink.