Chapter 1

J-Hope strolled into the waiting room all chipper and peppy as I was delivering coffee that I’d just fetched from a nearby Starbucks. He grabbed one off my tray, calling “Thanks noona!” as he kept on walking towards the back of the room.

“It’s not for you!” I shouted after him, but he just turned around, spreading out his arms in a helpless manner and flashing me his brightest smile, without stopping in his stride. As charming as it was, it left me terribly infuriated and I sighed loudly.

“Ah it’s ok, I didn’t want coffee that much anyways.” said Jin, looking at me with a kind smile. I smiled back but shook my head. The poor boy shouldn’t have to go without just because Mister Sunshine decided to come in late. “He probably needs it more than I do anyways, he never even came back to the hotel last night.”

“Again?!” I exclaimed, and Jin nodded at me. I sighed sitting down next to him. Namjoon came over to pick up the last coffee on my tray and butted-in the conversation. “How does he even do it, though? Like, my Japanese is much better than his!” he sulked, sitting down next to Jin, shaking his head.

“That’s because you’re a nice guy, Namjoonie… unlike THAT PLAYBOY OVER THERE!!” I added the last part really loudly, to make sure that he heard, and though he didn’t bother looking at me, I saw his grin widen and he waved from his spot in the makeup chair.

It was summer 2015. We were in Japan for a week for a series of fanmeetings, and so far, J-Hope had managed to go home with a different girl every single night. One of them a member of the venue audio team, whom I’d spotted looking incredibly forlorn on my way over. I sighed again and got up, as Kookie was waving me over to take his picture in a ridiculous pose on the couch. Later, Hobi came over to join him and they started pretending to sleep in weird positions. I thought it was pretty funny and turned to go fetch my camera, but Jimin was already on it, telling them to start over.

“Yah, Jiminie, I’m gonna be out of a job if you keep doing that!” I scolded him, rather fondly, and the kid flashed me an adorable smile and continued filming the two idiots.

I laughed a little at their antics and went to sit in a corner, checking my phone for messages. A while later, Hoseok came over and sat down next to me.

“Noona, you shouldn’t be jealous. You know I love you more than all the other girls.”

I nearly choked on my coffee and he looked pleased with himself.

“Jealous of what exactly?”

“My mad pulling skills.” he grinned.

“Please, I’m just afraid you’ll end up hurting yourself. You boys already sleep little enough as it is.”

I saw him flinch at my use of the word “boys” and felt a slight flicker of satisfaction. He liked to pretend that he was a big “sangnamja” but in reality he was just a 21y.o. kid who knew -all about life.

“Well anyways, you should try it sometimes.”

I snorted. “Dating you? Or casual ?”

“Both?” he suggested, without missing a beat.

I went to smack him upside the head and he raised his arms up protectively, laughing the whole time.

“Come on, I’m not bad!” he added, laughing.

“I’m sure you’re an amazing stallion.” I said, sarcastically, making him laugh loudly again.

“That’s why they call me J-Horse!” he joked and I rolled my eyes, not even dignifying his comment with a comeback.

“Come on, Nari, just date me for one day?” he asked, putting on the slightly pouty face that seemed to work so well on all of his victims.

“No.” I said, firmly, not even looking at him as I scrolled through my emails.

“Why not?” he whined, again with the excessive aegyo.

“Who wants to date anyone just for one day?” I answered, finally looking up from my phone to let the irritation on my face show.

“Well, all the past candidates have been super satisfied with the transaction.” he replied with a little click of his fingers and a wink, instantly switching back from “J-Hope mode” to normal Hoseok.

“They were your fans. Of course they were.” I retorted, flatly.

“Not all of them!” he exclaimed, defensively, as if I’d touched a sore spot, “And that’s beside the point. The point is that everyone knows what to expect, so the experience of dating can be heightened to the best parts, without any of the downsides.”

I shrugged and got up to leave. We’d had this jokey conversation many times before actually, but this time, it just rubbed me the wrong way.

“What?” he pouted, surprised by my reaction.

I turned around and snapped at him.

“What about waking up next to someone? What about having someone to call on your work break? What about having someone there to hold you when something really bad happens? What about someone who brings you soup when you’re sick?”

“I have you to bring me soup when I’m sick.” he said cheekily, grinning a toothy smile at me.

I rolled my eyes and left him there. Then I turned back on my heels and pointed a finger at him as I said, “Don’t you think it’s funny that the guy who keeps telling everyone he’s their hope, doesn’t have any for himself?”

I stared at him, sorta sadly, and he stared back in shock, the dumb comment he was probably preparing dying on his lips. Then I turned around and walked away for real.

As I left, I heard him mutter, “Shut up…” like a sulky child would.

That night, he went back to his hotel room to sleep. Alone.