Jihoon is not the most expressive when it comes to feelings, emotions, or sentiments. He tends to keep things more to himself, cautious of every word that might come out of his mouth and unintentionally offend or hurt someone else's feelings. This is also the reason why most if not all of the people around him regard him as cold. It's a rare occasion if Jihoon so much give an inkling of interest in a subject matter other than music. But this is where people are wrong.
Jihoon is not cold, insensitive, or overall unengaged in anything. Jihoon is actually pretty sensitive. He's observant of the things around him and takes note of every single detail. Nothing gets past Jihoon and it's a big mistake whenever people think that Jihoon doesn't know, much less care, about everything.

It's just that Jihoon stumbles in his words whenever he tries to convey what's inside his mind. It's a whirlwind inside his head, but nothing much of a gust is produced when he tries to speak of it. And so Jihoon decided to keep things to himself.
Well, so long as he can keep them in.

It's a given that Jihoon comes into the knowledge that Seungcheol is greatly shipped with their fellow member, Jeonghan. He also knows that the pair had been dubbed as the mom and dad of the group and Jihoon himself was actually considered as one of the 'children' of the 'couple'. It would've been cute, tracing up the family tree, if it wasn't for the fact that Jihoon is actually the one Seungcheol is dating, and it's just so wrong to be considered as a 'son' of his own boyfriend by their fans.

Seungcheol had talked about it to him once, he asked Jihoon if he wasn't comfortable with all the staged skinships he's playing with Jeonghan and that he's readily able to put a stop to it. Jihoon, being the 'cold' person he is pegged to be, coolly brushed it off aside saying that he doesn't care, as long as he and Seungcheol knows that by the end of the day, they still belong to each other.
Seungcheol, thinking that he'd already gotten Jihoon's approval, carried on with his stage plays with Jeonghan. It was okay, at least Jihoon thinks, because it's what the fans want, what they want to see, what is more viable, desirable.
Jihoon really thought it was okay, that it was bearable.

Until it isn't now.

It comes to the point that the fans are screaming for Seungcheol and Jeonghan during fansigns or wherever the group may go, to sit together, take a picture together, make a heart together, hug each other and all other things fans want in order to prove or establish that the ship is real and sailing. Jihoon could've brushed it off, really, he can take as much if it is for the fans, if it wasn’t for that particular event in their fansign just this afternoon.
Jihoon and Seungcheol were sitting together, the latter with his uncontained smile as he holds Jihoon's hand under the table, unknown to any other's eyes. They had been busy for the past month, not having enough time for each other because of the rigid schedule in preparation for their comeback and it's just pure bliss for them to spend time together even if it's just to sit next to each other and secretly interlace their fingers together. Jihoon tries to keep his mouth from tugging into a smile when his boyfriend's thumb the skin of his hand, but all the butterflies in Jihoon's stomach are flushed down the drain when the fans start to call for Seungcheol to change seats beside Jeonghan. Jihoon freezes in his seat and he also felt Seungcheol's thumb still from his hand. Seungcheol shoots the demanding fans a practiced smile, hand squeezing Jihoon's and said, "this is today's seating arrangement, I just can’t change seats."
Fans whine some more and Seungcheol's hold in Jihoon's hand tightens. Jihoon pretends to scribble on some sheet of paper in order to block himself from the numerous chants of Seungcheol and Jeonghan's couple name and some fans reasoning against Seungcheol like, "how can the dad sit away from the mom? You're supposed to be always beside each other."
Jihoon squeezes his eyes shut when he felt Seungcheol's fingers slowly disentangling from his own.
For the first time he can hear his own heart breaking.
Seungcheol heaves a playful sigh before rousing from his seat beside Jihoon. Jihoon didn't dare to look up Seungcheol, he didn't want for his boyfriend to see the stricken look on his face.
Junhui is ushered by one of the staffs to occupy the seat Seungcheol vacated. Jihoon still hasn’t budged from his position, pretend-scribbling on a piece of paper. He feels a comforting tap on his leg once Jun seated himself. The other must've noticed all along but still Jihoon didn't face anyone until the event finally started.
For two whole hours Jihoon had to force himself to smile and postpone his own feelings that's eating him slowly on the inside.

It's almost three in the morning and Seungcheol is tossing and turning in his bed. He already sent numerous text messages to Jihoon but the latter hasn't replied once. Seungcheol know his boyfriend can be workaholic at times but as far as he knew, Jihoon isn't particularly working on a song right now since their next comeback won’t be for the next six months. Jihoon also, despite of his busyness, always finds time to reply to Seungcheol's messages, and so Seungcheol's now bothered why Jihoon hasn't replied or asked him to fetch him in the company building.
Seungcheol checks his phone again before he's jumping out of his bed and looks for his coat and keys and goes straight out of the door to drag his boyfriend home.
As expected, the only lighted room in the company building is Jihoon's recording room. But instead of finding Jihoon hunched before his computer, like the usual whenever Seungcheol comes to get him, Seungcheol finds his boyfriend on the tiny couch instead, arms around his legs and head buried in between his knees. Seungcheol approaches him slowly, the other boy might be asleep despite the uncomfortable position, but Jihoon jerks from his position when he felt the dip beside him.
"Oh, I thought you were asleep." Seungcheol says softly. He notes the redness of Jihoon's eyes and also his nose. Was Jihoon crying?
When he tries to thumb his boyfriend's cheek, the other shifts to dock away from his touch.
Now, Seungcheol wonders if something happened.
"Hey, baby." despite earlier's rejection, he shuffles to move closer to Jihoon and wrap an arm around him, "What's wrong? Did something happen?"
He tries to coax Jihoon some more but the other wont lift his head from where he's tucked it in between his knees.
"Jihoon, baby, tell me what's wrong please?" he whispers softly against Jihoon's neck as he enclose him in a tight hug. "Please, you know i don't like it when i see you like this."
Jihoon tries to wiggle out of Seungcheol's embrace and the latter lets him. Jihoon paws at the tear tracks on his cheeks and collects himself before staring at Seungcheol dead on the eyes.
Seungcheol waits for his boyfriend to speak, snaking again an arm around the younger's waist, but instead of an explanation, Seungcheol feels a warm palm against his cheek and Jihoon's soft lips against his. It's one of the rare occasions where it's Jihoon who initiates a kiss and Seungcheol's head is whirring, but before Seungcheol can move to deepen their kiss, Jihoon moves away, eyes setting on anything but Seungcheol.

Seungcheol is still in a daze but he's knocked off of it when his boyfriend suddenly asked him, "Do you want to break up with me?"
Jihoon's voice is so soft and Seungcheol can feel the affliction in it, but he wracks his mind for a reason why Jihoon suddenly brought up the idea of breaking up.
"What?" Seungcheol almost chokes, "Why would I even think of breaking up with you?"
He brings Jihoon's body closer until the latter is almost sitting on his lap. Seungcheol knows whenever his boyfriend's insecurities act up, he fidgets everytime and won’t look at Seungcheol and would suddenly question his worth being Seungcheol's boyfriend.

People think that Jihoon's all tough and confident, but when it comes to his relationship with Seungcheol, there are cracks within him that are full of doubts and what ifs. Seungcheol hates it when those cracks resurface.

"Wouldn't it be better if you actually date Jeonghan hyung?" Jihoon twiddled with his fingers and it all suddenly clicked with Seungcheol. How foolish of him not to check on his boyfriend with all that's happening lately. "I mean, you look better together. Fans love to see you together, everyone thinks you'd make a great couple. You can just tell me if..." Jihoon strings off and doesn't finish his sentence. His throat his scratchy and there are tears gathering in his eyes again. He hates moments like this. Hates it when he's so weak and vulnerable. But god, he's the weakest when it comes to loving Choi Seungcheol.
Seungcheol heaves a deep sigh and holds Jihoon by his shoulder so that the other will finally look at him in the eyes. "Jihoon."
He sees the other's lips tremble and how his eyes are reddening from the impending tears. He can’t help but kiss his boyfriend, pressing his lips firmer this time against the other so Jihoon can feel the love that no words can translate.
How can someone so beautiful be so insecure?
Seungcheol pulls away softly, lips hovering against Jihoon as his fingers curl against the latter's neck. "Jihoon, I love you." He presses another kiss and Jihoon whimpers against his lips, "God, I am so in love with you. I wouldn't want to be with anyone other than you."
Jihoon lets the tears fall and Seungcheol readily hugs him tight.
"You’re beautiful, and smart, and amazing. Jihoon do you even know how lucky I feel that I have you by my side? I'm crazy in love with you. Please never doubt that."
He hears Jihoon's broken apologies in between hiccups against his neck. But he feels Jihoon's hug around him tighten and he knows his message has come across.
He rides his palm up and down Jihoon's back until the other calms down. When Jihoon has finally collected himself, he detaches from his boyfriend's neck and gives him an apologetic look.
"I'm sorry that you had to deal with my insecurities again."
Seungcheol just smiles softly and kisses him on the cheek. "It's okay. But I just hope that you'll tell me if anything's bothering you, okay?"
Jihoon nods meekly, fingers curling against the fabric of Seungcheol's coat. "Seungcheol.."
"Yeah baby?" He Jihoon's cheek and the other leans on it, a soft smile playing on his lips.
"I'm crazy in love with you too."
Seungcheol just smiles but his heart is about to burst.

Everyone else might never think that Jihoon actually have a soft side, and Seungcheol's goddamn elated that he's the only one who can see it. He is ing in love with this boy and he doesn't care what everybody else think.
"Let's go home?"
Seungcheol stands up and offers his hand to the other. Jihoon smiles and they know everything's going to be okay.
"Okay.''

//wheezes i am in love with jicheol cryyyy