Donghae had decided to focus on school again. After all, he was in his senior year and didn't necessarily want to fail. It probably would be better to do nothing for a while and instead just gather some ideas and think about those about what to do next. The old lady had explained him about his alternate reality. Not much but she had told him that he couldn't go back to the old version. The version in which his parents were still married. The thought still hurt. A lot. But also the old reality which included that he had ruined his relationship with the guy he had strong feelings for. Ruined it and let him run into the arms of another guy.

"Morning." Siwon yawned as he joined Donghae walking down the hallway, Leeteuk following them. "Morning." - "Has your mood got any better? You seemed off this week." Siwon eyed him up then nudged Leeteuk's side with his elbow. "Didn't he?" But he only nodded in response. Donghae was busy with his own thoughts for a bit. Was he? "Kind of." At least now he knew what was going on and had accepted it due to having no other possibility anyway. They passed by Hyukjae who was struggling with the lock on his locker. He was about to stop and help him but got distracted by Siwon who continued talking and so they just walked to their next class.

Leeteuk was seated next to Donghae while Siwon was far away to hit on some girl. Donghae carelessly wiggled his pen letting its ends hit against the table and making clicking sounds repeatly. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Leeteuk eyeing him up all the time. He didn't even need to ask what was troubling his mind because he could guess what it was. Leeteuk was silent but noticed just too many things. "Let's do something this weekend. Siwon and you could come over and lets just.. hang out. I need to get my mind off things and feel like i'm back to normality." Donghae said leaning back with his gaze wandering off to the front of the classroom. Receiving no response was always a silent agreement from Leeteuk.

Finally he had been paying attention to the classes again and taken notes. The alternate reality thing had almost slipped out of his thoughts until one class. He was sitting at his usual place when suddenly he heard an annoyed girl. "What are you freak doing there again?" Looking up he saw Jihyun. Then it hit him. He had got used to sitting there because he had started dating Jihyun so he had been sitting next to her during this class. Dasom looked annoyed that her seat was taken by him. "I'm sitting." But he was also annoyed now.

"Get lost and find another spot." He leaned  back in his seat, staring at Jihyun while thinking about whether to do so or not. "You didn't say please." He said. Why had he decided to date that girl to waste time? Ah right, her permanent sassiness kept him busy and entertained. "Why'd I say please to someone stalking me?" But he just snorted. "Why'd I stalk you?" - "Why else would you know that stuff about me? No one does!" Now she looked rather worried again and not angry and arrogant. So he felt sorry for her. "It's not what you think." He said, his voice had softened now. "I just can't explain it though. Sorry, I hadn't known this table was taken." Donghae gathered up his stuff and moved to another table to sit there. The seat next to Hyukjae was unfortunately taken.

He had to admit, the day had passed quickly because he had been paying attention to class and talking along. He was leaning against some lockers with his back, gaze up to the ceiling. Siwon was talking about whatever while Leeteuk was taking forever to arrange the stuff in his locker and backpack. Most of the students had already left but this was something he was used to, after years of the same waiting and listening process each day. "I got practice this weekend but I'll just come over later then." Siwon said about the hang out over at Donghae's place. True, that was gonna happen as well. He nodded slightly, hair rubbing against the metal of the locker behind him and getting electric so it was pointing into any direction in the air.

"Let's go." Leeteuk said once he was done and they walked out the empty school. "Donghae, your bus-" Wonderful, his bus had just left and he would need to wait so long for the next one. Leeteuk and Siwon would take another one which just turned around the corner. "It's fine. See you tomorrow." Donghae flashed a smile then walked across the street to his stop. There was merely a bench and a bus stop sign there. He took a seat and watched the bus drive away with his two friends inside. Leaned forward he put his elbows on his thighs, staring down at the ground.

It was impossible not to think about it - the alternate reality. Should he do anything specific? Find differences, realize what chances he had missed or messed up and fix it now. That was what she had said. He tried to remember the accident his mother had had. His parents had been fighting so much and one late evening she had stormed out of the apartment and taken the car to furiously drive away. During the drive his father had called her and they had been fighting over the phone which eventually had led to her crashing into another car at a crossing. She had been taken to the hospital where she had spent a couple of weeks. 

This was how Donghae remembered it: His father had been so in shock of the sounds he had heard over the phone and due to their fight that he first called his son, wanting him to go check on their mother. But Donghae hadn't answered the phone so his father had been the one who went there and that had been where they had made up again. Once his mother had woken up they had made up. Why hadn't he answered the phone? Right, he had been with Hyukjae. They had had the other's house all for themselves and had been busy with their lovey dovey stuff.

But in this reality, Hyukjae and him hadn't ever happened. So probably he had received that call. Probably it had been Donghae who had rushed to the hospital and his father who had left to hide. That was why they hadn't ever made up again. That was why Donghae had stopped talking to his father who had left like a scaredy cat instead of being by her side. It all made sense now. But he wasn't mad at his father. It was all in the past.

His thoughts got interrupted when someone took a seat next to him. He didn't lift his head but saw the familiar shoes next to his own. Hyukjae. "You look sad." He disclosed. Finally Donghae lifted his head to look at the other, a light smile to his lips. "I am fine. What are you doing here?" Hyukjae shrugged, leaning against the backrest, hands resting between his legs, his knees loosely falling to each side. He seemed relaxed. "Waiting for the bus I assume. You know... You seem to know stuff about people who don't really know you."

Donghae looked back down at the ground, listening to what the other would say. "What do you know about me?" A soft laugh escaped Donghae and he glanced at the other. "About you? A lot." Once again he rather looked at the ground. "Tell me." If the other wanted to hear, he would tell him. "Your name's Hyukjae. When you laugh really hard you immediately tear up as well and once you stop laughing, your tears don't stop rolling. You can't resist any strawberry flavored sweets and you're too shy to say so but you love being fed preferably by your partner. You love to interlace your fingers with his and hold so tightly because you're afraid of your partner suddenly leaving you when you know you're so dedicated and passionate about a relationship. Youtube and tumblr are your obsessions and you get really sparkly eyes whenever your tumblr stuff gets notes or when there's something about your favorite shows. When you talk about those you need to restart every second sentence at least twice because you stumble over your own words when spazzing due to being way too excited. You start talking so fast that it's hard to keep track." Donghae was smiling at the ground while talking, his position hadn't changed. But his smile faded now. "And you cry a lot. You cry when there's a lot of emotion in a movie. You cry when you see an animal looking sad. You cry when you hit your toe against something and you cry when you're alone at home. When there's nothing to keep you busy. When you wish to hold someones hand so tightly and be fed by them. Even if it was just friend wise. When you think about your present, about the future whether it's the next day or the next year."

Donghae turned his head, looking at Hyukjae who was staring right back with an indeterminable expression. It was silent for what seemed like ages and yet it seemed to pass by so quick. "How do you know?" Now also Donghae leaned back against the backrest, exhaling heavily. "I really can't explain right now. Maybe some day I could tell you." Silence returned. Both of them were staring off into the distance until Hyukjae spoke up. "Thinking about it, I do mispronounce countlessly while talking about shows I like." He sounded like he had realized only just now. But what made Donghae smile was that he sounded like he wasn't freaked out at all. "That's fine. It's kind of entertaining." Hyukjae tilted his head questionably. "Have we talked about it before?"

The bus arrived and Donghae stood up. "Are you coming?" - "Oh." He shook his head, not moving away of the bench. "I don't need to take that bus." True, Donghae should know. In fact, Hyukjae didn't need to take any bus. He would walk home.

He smiled warmly at the other before getting onto the bus. He had just told Hyukjae a lot of things and had realized how much he had missed talking to him like that. Just normally without the -gotta keep it friendly small talk- thought nagging at the back of his mind. Who knew, maybe this alternate reality was supposed to make him fix another mistake or take another chance but this with Hyukjae felt so good. That was what he wanted, take another chance to be with Hyukjae and to come out. 

Back at home...

"Donghae!" his mother called so he unwillingly got out of bed and to the living room. There was her boyfriend. He had forgotten his name though. "Honey, you remember how I was telling you about the thoughts of moving in with Seunghoon?" Nope, he had absolutely no idea but he would pretend he did so he nodded. "We have decided to move together." She looked happy so he should be as well.

Donghae sat down on a chair. "Where to? Where will I be?" His plans were to move out and get an apartment of his own as soon as possible but there were still some months to go till then. He had to finish high school and to find a proper job. Then find an apartment and save up money and all of that. "He has a bigger apartment so I thought it would be better to move there. And you will come with me of course. But also I thought about not selling this apartment so you could take it once you start working." He liked that suggestion. "Sounds great. I'm glad for you." He smiled but soon disappeared back in his room.

Finally replying his father's facebook message he quickly got a response with an additional question about the weather in Seoul. Now that he was thinking about it, he checked the weather for tomorrow and saw that it was supposed to rain all day. For a while he struggled with himself whether he should finally text Hyukjae or not but why was he so nervous? They had been a couple before. He went to type in something.

'It's gonna be really rainy tomorrow. Don't forget to take an umbrella with you :)'

Sent. But after he had sent this it looked so stupid. Nevertheless, he got a reply not too long after.

'Seeing how you always look so lost in thoughts and space it should be you to get reminded about an umbrella :)'

True that.

'Point for you. Sleep well. See you tomorrow hopefully'

Then he went to turn off all the lights and put his phone away. What another lovely day in this reloaded version of his life. 

His eyes opened widely. Homework! Forcing himself out of bed again he the lights to quickly do all the homework and studying he had to do 'till the next morning before he would head to sleep.

thanks everyone for subscribing and for the comments !! It really motivates me

ik the chapters are rather brief, simple and just little by little but idk. I just feel like it :)