blood flowers

Kim Jinhwan, 28 years old, standing at a height of 165cm. Youngjae knew he looked amiable in his photo but he hadn’t expected that the man would be so gentle in his mannerisms. Coupled with a petite built and soft features, he comes off as cute.

Youngjae remains staring at the man squirming in his seat. Daehyun is running late as he was out doing a delivery. The elderly man who made the order wanted Daehyun to help surprise his wife.

At promptly 4 o’clock, a polished black sedan had pulled up outside the flower shop. Out came Jinhwan first and then, a tall man who promptly held Jinhwan’s waist. The boyfriend was distinctly well-dressed, clad in a suit with his hair gelled back, as if he’d just came from an executive meeting.

They were bickering a little as they stepped in, Jinhwan murmuring that he didn’t want to have blood flowers made after him. His boyfriend reassured him that blood florists were experienced and so the procedure was practically painless and uncomplicated—what Youngjae direly wanted to disagree with.

Packing away his half-finished lunch, Youngjae straightened up and quickly did the admin work. He phoned Daehyun and Daehyun spluttered for him to apologise on his behalf, promising he’d reach in 15 minutes. In the corner of his eye, Youngjae discreetly watched as the couple talked.

Let’s go to your favourite restaurant for dinner, the boyfriend had placated, squeezing Jinhwan’s hands. They exchanged a couple of sweet nothings and kissed shortly. Jinhwan then nudged his boyfriend away, eyes darting to Youngjae in hesitation.

They seemed very much in love, Youngjae thought. He made some tea for Jinhwan and here they are now, waiting in an awkward quietness for Daehyun to arrive.

Youngjae rubs his shoulder, debating on whether to speak. If he does, he may be overstepping boundaries. Eventually, he decides it’d be rude not to at least make some small talk.

“Are you excited?” Youngjae asks, smiling despite the words stinging on behalf of Daehyun.

Jinhwan perks up. “Ah, not really,” he wryly smiles, voice soft. “My boyfriend was the one who insisted I do this. He said he wanted flowers of me.”

“Oh, that’s quite sweet,” Youngjae hums. “You don’t think so?”

Jinhwan rubs his shoulder. “I’ve… grown Hanahaki flowers before. Being sick like that didn’t feel good, especially being in an unrequited love, so I don’t want to put someone through that.”

He tilts his head. “My boyfriend tells me blood florists don’t feel the same kind of pain, though… That’s the only reason why I’m here. Is that true?”

Youngjae parts his lips, blinking for a moment. He shuts his mouth and churns out a smile. “I’m not sure. You’ll have to ask Daehyun.”

“Oh no, I really hope it doesn’t,” Jinhwan frets, anxiously fiddling with his hands. “If it does, I’ll definitely pull out. I’m really sorry; I just… can’t think about doing something like that to someone.”

“But I can pay the full sum, still!” Jinhwan hastily assures.

Before Youngjae can answer, Daehyun barges in hurriedly, panting like a mad man. He darts his eyes towards the petite figure in the corner and straightens up, bowing slightly.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes, neatening out his hair and settling down in the chair opposite Jinhwan.

“Coffee—” He glances to the table and then to Youngjae, eyebrow raised. “Youngjae?”

“Oh, it’s okay, I didn’t want coffee.” Jinhwan timidly smiles, nervousness dripping from his posture. “You must be the blood florist.”

“Yeah.” Daehyun lets out an awkward laugh out of politeness. “Sorry. One of my customers wanted some help surprising his wife.”

“It’s perfectly fine. I’m sorry to bother you.”

“No,” Daehyun quickly assures, somewhat taken aback. “I mean, we had an appointment and you’re here for blood flowers.”

“Still, I’m sorry that you had to run here.”

Youngjae watches, fingers curling over his mug of green tea. Jinhwan’s the exact type Daehyun fancies. From his shy mannerisms to how he apologises for minor things, it’s evident that Jinhwan is overly kind and reeks of a delicateness Daehyun loves in flowers.

His kindness isn’t superficial either, like that born from nervousness; he’s one of the very few clients who care about how the blood florist feels and the only one offering to pull out if blood flowering does cause hurt.

Jinhwan shifts in his seat. He looks up and parts his lips, before averting his gaze. “I’m… especially sorry for…”

He churns out a wry smile, making a vague gesture. “If you’re uncomfortable, please let me know.”

“About what?” Daehyun confusedly returns.

“Well…” Jinhwan bites his lip. “I’m a guy and all.”

“Not at all. I take clients who are men too.”

“That’s a relief. Still, I’m guessing it’ll be difficult. I hope you don’t feel pressurised. I won’t demand for a refund if it doesn’t work.”

“No, you have all rights to a refund. And I’m confident it will. I’m, uh… open to both men and women.” Daehyun’s voice shrivels as he spouts his confession.

Youngjae stares at his back in disbelief, jaw slackening. Immediately, something heavy stirs in his guts, leaving a sour taste in his mouth. He knows it’s ridiculous, but he feels a little betrayed Daehyun so easily confessed it to Jinhwan. He thought he meant something to Daehyun for him to reveal his preferences—after 3 years, too.

Youngjae clenches his fingers, willing away the thoughts. He’s acting incredulously to be upset over something like this. What more, this is something deep and personal to Daehyun; how can he be so petty and self-centred to make it about himself?

“Oh!” Jinhwan widens his eyes. The change is almost instantaneous; the timidity in his expression dwindles into a thankful comfort.

“But…” Jinhwan laughs, rubbing the nape of his neck. “Honestly, I think it’d be hard to fall for me. I’m really boring.”

“You really don’t have to worry about whether it’ll work,” Daehyun tries to pacify. “I’m sure it’ll be easy to fall for you. You’re really nice; you’re actually my type.”

Daehyun’s eyes nearly bulge out at his careless spiel. Jinhwan flutters his lashes and his cheeks redden somewhat, letting out a lighthearted chuckle.

“I really doubt that, but thank you,” Jinhwan returns, clearing his throat slightly. He gazes around the shop and sets his eyes in wonderment at the array of flowers. “Wow, flowers are really so gorgeous. So many colours.”

A few of them are newly brought-in. Those freesia flowers, the white ones in the corner, just this morning.” Daehyun leans back to point, melting into a radiant smile at someone expressing at his beloved flowers.

“They’re really so lovely. It’s sad that some people think of them badly.”

“Yeah,” Daehyun heaves, still persisting in his smile. Youngjae can discern the look in his eyes—the same gaze he held when he spoke to Sunhwa, as if a layer of his walls had been broken down just by the common love of flowers. In fact, when Youngjae had applied to join the shop, Daehyun was stunned to hear he wanted to learn more about flowers.

Let me be honest with you. The pay’s low and it’s not exactly fun to work with flowers. I’d like to pay my helpers more but I don’t have the means to right now. So, yeah. You can back out right now. I suggest you do, actually.

Youngjae remembers Daehyun barely paying any attention to him, rearranging his sunflowers while Youngjae awkwardly stood some steps away. Daehyun seemed wary, cold, distant—like Youngjae was a threat to him and his flowers.

It’s okay. I want to learn, too.

Daehyun spared him a glance. Learn?

To grow flowers, take care of them, their names… stuff like that.

Daehyun stopped in his ministrations, fully focusing on Youngjae at this point. Youngjae shrunk back.

Why?

Why? Youngjae blurted, parroting Daehyun. He was definitely intimidated; he’d gotten a little upset too that this guy was the one who had posted up a sign looking for an assistant, yet he was so unwelcoming, like Youngjae randomly barged in and asked for a job.

Um, because… I like flowers? Youngjae softly replied. I always see there’s a lot of kinds in your shop, and they look really pretty… so I wanted to find out more.

He answered as honestly as he could, but Daehyun remained staring wordlessly. Youngjae stepped back, and sensing he wasn’t wanted, he said, I’m sorry to bother you. I think I’ll search for a job somewhere else.

Wait. Youngjae, right? Daehyun put away the sunflowers and stepped forward.

If you’re alright with the pay, I can teach you. His voice was gentler and so was his gaze. Youngjae could only nod, quite taken aback by the sudden transition.

You said you can start anytime, right? Come in tomorrow. I’ll see you at 9.

“Would you like a stalk? Just pick any you like.” Daehyun stands and walks over to the display.

“Oh, no, I couldn’t,” Jinhwan stands politely, hesitating by his seat.

Youngjae darts his stare to Daehyun. He hopes to meet his eyes, but Daehyun has his attention on Jinhwan.

“It’s alright, honestly. Take one. Which do you like?”

Jinhwan steps over unsurely. He looks around and points to the freesia flowers. “Those actually caught my eyes first.”

“Here.” Daehyun hands one stalk over and Jinhwan marvels at it. Warmth reeks from Daehyun’s grin and Youngjae feels a little sick, for some reason.

It looks like a scene straight out of a drama. Youngjae blinks once, twice, as Daehyun eagerly shares with him the names of his beloved plants. When Daehyun finally looks over, Youngjae can only churn out a grin at how happy Daehyun is.

Nodding in encouragement, Youngjae goes back to his lunch, eyes trained hard on the bento set Daehyun bought for him. He was pleased with it just now—especially since Daehyun remembered to ask for more mayonnaise without being reminded. He feels stupid for being happy over something so trivial.

“Um, actually, I have something to ask.” Jinhwan fidgets.

“My boyfriend was the one who wanted me to do this. I didn’t want to,” Jinhwan says. “Not because I think you’re not good,” he hastily clarifies.

Lowering his head, he meekly admits, “I’ve had the Hanahaki disease before. I know it hurts. But I don't know much about blood flowering and if it's different.”

Surprised, Daehyun replies a beat too late. “Oh, you’d like to know if it hurts when I grow your blood flowers?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind sharing. I’ll pull out if it does. But I’m not going to ask for a refund! I just… I’d really rather not do that to you.”

Daehyun parts his lips, astonishment dripping from his expression. He quickly recovers and says firmly, “Yeah, it's different. It doesn’t hurt when growing blood flowers. Well, for me, that is. I’ve been doing it for a long time so it really doesn’t hurt. Don’t worry about it.”

Youngjae locks his jaw, boring his eyes through Daehyun’s skull. What a ing lie. If he could show Jinhwan just how much Daehyun suffers for those stupid blood flowers, how different he looks from before all because some people find a twisted enchantment in Hanahaki flowers, Youngjae would.

But Daehyun’s nice. He always is. That’s why, even when such a rare client comes by that offers him payment without the suffering, Daehyun still stupidly declines.

“Are you sure?” Jinhwan asks unsurely.

“Yes.” Daehyun’s gaze softens and he smiles with the blue of a hyacinth. “Thank you, really. You’re kind to care about this.”

Along with the anguish, Youngjae finds his throat tightening. God, Daehyun’s the biggest ing idiot to walk the earth. He could have saved himself 3 weeks or so of torment, of not coughing out flowers for once in the middle of the month.

Why would Daehyun choose voluntarily to suffer? He’s really out of his mind. Is he some masochist? Does he like to suffer?

Youngjae balls his hand into a fist.

“Don’t the Hanahaki flowers hurt? When I had mine, I felt horrible for weeks.” Jinhwan squeezes his hands together, trying to broach the topic as carefully as he can. “I kept coughing and just couldn’t stop to it.”

“You get used to the pain after having them again and again. It’ll feel like nothing. Just a small cold that’ll be over in a week or two,” Daehyun says confidently.

Youngjae rolls his eyes, clenching his jaw bitterly. Seriously, Daehyun treats himself like rubbish. Not only that, he treats Youngjae, Hanbin and Jiwon like fools—because the concern they shower him clearly doesn’t mean a damn thing.

“But… what about the emotional pain? Doesn’t it hurt not to be loved back?” Jinhwan whispers. “I don’t want to put you through that.”

Daehyun flutters his lashes. He parts his lips and takes a while to form the sentence he wants.

“You get used to that too,” Daehyun chuckles. “It becomes nothing after you get used to it. Besides, even if it hurts, it’ll only be for a few weeks.”

Jinhwan nods slowly, some of his unease dwindling away. “I see. You’re a strong man. Maybe it’s just me that was weak,” Jinhwan laughs quietly. “The Hanahaki disease felt really bad for me.”

“Not at all. You’re not weak. My first few times hurt badly too. It takes practice.”

Jinhwan smiles a little at the words, some hesitance in his expression. Of course, any sane person would find it abnormal to hear that someone practises falling into an unrequited love?

Youngjae rolls his eyes and noisily pushes his flask aside, wolfing up his lunch. In his periphery, he sees Jinhwan and Daehyun glance at him.

"Let me explain how this works," Daehyun says, returning his attention to Jinhwan. "Today's our first meeting--just to get to know each other. Find similarities. After that, we'll have more meetings and doing activities together. It can be just things like talking or going out for a movie.

"Like dates, right?" Jinhwan asks.

"Yeah, but don't worry, we won't be intimate with one another. Think of it like an outing with a friend. Once I start growing flowers, you won't have to go out with me anymore. It's strange so take the time you need to warm up to the idea. If you're not comfortable, let me know," Daehyun hums.

Jinhwan shakes his head. "My boyfriend let me read about your services, so I'm prepared for this." He smiles a little. "But yeah, it is a bit weird. To go on dates with someone other than my boyfriend."

"It is." Daehyun tucks his hands into his hoodie pockets. "Do you want something to eat? We could get something outside or stay here."

Jinhwan presses his lips together as he considers his options. "Um... Okay, I don't mind going out for a snack."

"Sure. What would you like?" Daehyun asks. A drizzle begins at this moment, rain drops pelting against the glass window.

"If you don't mind, I saw a Copie Chicken outlet a few blocks away," Jinhwan sheepishly says, ransacking through his tote bag. "I have coupons for both you and me. They're going to expire..."

Surprised, Daehyun chuckles, nodding along. It's extremely rare to see such filthy rich clients act like this; Youngjae has seen some get exaggeratedly offended when Daehyun suggests getting a meal at some fast food restaurant.

"Shall we go?" Daehyun grabs an umbrella, opening the door and putting a hand out. "The rain's light."

Daehyun holds out the umbrella much like a gentleman, Jinhwan scooting under. As Daehyun joins Jinhwan, Youngjae feels something drop in his stomach, and the confusion only serves to double his upset.

Daehyun turns back to Youngjae. "Take care of the shop." He shuts the door without a second glance.

Youngjae's gaze drops to his food. Suddenly, he doesn't feel like eating.

--

It's past 6 o'clock when Daehyun finally returns to the shop with Jinhwan. Youngjae stops sorting out the flowers and turns back when the bell rings, the two stepping in. As Daehyun meets his eyes, Youngjae stands, offering a small smile to Jinhwan.

"Next Tuesday, right? I'll note it down." Daehyun winds over to the counter and takes out his tattered diary, jotting down the date quickly.

"Mm. I'll be free the whole day. Sorry to take up your time."

"It's okay. You're paying me," Daehyun chuckles.

Jinhwan twiddles with the stalk of flower, brushing it against his own cheek. "How long will it last?"

"2 weeks. Take care of it well and it can live up to 3." Daehyun grins and beckons to his array of flowers. "Want another?"

"No, no. I feel bad just taking such a pretty one from you," Jinhwan murmurs, gently tapping the flower's petal.

"You shouldn't. Take whichever you like."

"No, it's really okay. Thank you for today. It was really nice."

"My pleasure. I'll see you on Tuesday." Daehyun shuts his book and walks back to the front, towering over Jinhwan. They look like they match well.

Jinhwan presses the freesia flower to his chest. "Is it easy to tell Hanahaki flowers from normal flowers?" He asks.

"Kind of. They're more vibrant in colour. Why?"

"Well..." Before Jinhwan can say another word, he notices the Mercedes pulling up to the store. Jinhwan's boyfriend steps out of the car, waving slightly with a warm smile.

Jinhwan's eyes light up with a joy hard to feign. He bows slightly to Daehyun and bids, "Ah, my boyfriend's here. Thank you for the meal and the freesia lower. It was really nice meeting you."

"Same. See you." Daehyun opens the door for Jinhwan and smiles cordially to Jinhwan's boyfriend. He shuts the door with his wide smile persisting, evidently jubilant about this client.

Youngjae goes back to sorting the flowers. Daehyun shuffles up to his side, leaning against the wall.

"This client's nice. Never met someone as nice as him."

"Oh," Youngjae returns. He tries to muster some enthusiasm. "Wonder what he was trying to say before his boyfriend came."

"Probably wanted me to just give him regular flowers in place of the blood flowers. He suggested calling it off a few times while we were out," Daehyun remarks, tucking his hands into his jacket pockets. He lets out a gruff sigh. "Seems like his Hanahaki experience was pretty bad that he doesn't want to put anyone else through it."

Youngjae forces a short laugh. "Nobody would find it good," he hints, stacking away the pots.

"He's a really nice guy," Daehyun says again. "To care about me like that."

Youngjae pauses. "He is." He moves to the other side of the store, getting a little irritated when Daehyun follows behind.

"Even wanted to pay me the full sum still. You really don't meet this kind of people easily. Almost like an angel, don't you think?" Daehyun chuckles. "Wonder if these people are just born with a pure heart."

"You should have taken his offer, then," Youngjae wheezes.

"I can't. You know why," Daehyun returns.

"No, I don't know why." Youngjae glances up at Daehyun with a hardened gaze. "You could have just said yes. You wouldn't have to grow another batch of blood flowers and you could have had it easy for a month, but you lied to him and said it didn't hurt."

Daehyun furrows his brows. "Youngjae, it's a business. You know I can't just take his money without giving him blood flowers."

"Why not?" Youngjae retorts. "He's rich. He says it's okay. Are you a masochist?"

Daehyun rubs his forehead. "Youngjae," he grunts, "I'm not going to take advantage of his kindness. Besides, it doesn't hurt that much."

"Oh, really? That's why you always look like you're on the brink of death whenever you grow." Youngjae shoves in the pots harder than expected, inciting a loud clunk.

"Hey, be careful with those," Daehyun chides.

"You didn't have to," Youngjae persists, not wanting to let the topic steer like usual. "He said he can still pay you."

"And I said I'm not going to scam him out of his kindness," Daehyun states.

Youngjae grits his teeth. "You are the stupidest person I've ever met. Someone offers you $7000 for free and you say no." He swivels on his feet and storms to the pantry. He hears Daehyun sighing in exasperation.

"You wouldn't do that to someone either. Look, can we not fight for one day? This has been going on for months now." Daehyun tails him, annoyance scribbled into his grimace.

"It's either you stop and I stop nagging, or you continue and I continue." Youngjae clenches his hand. "And no, I would. You say you don't earn enough. He's willing to give you the money even without the blood flowers. He's filthy rich, probably; you saw what his boyfriend drove. It'd barely make a dent in his fortune.I don't understand-"

"I can't take his money without giving anything in return. It's not a good thing to do." Daehyun glowers. "It's basic manners."

Before Youngjae can hit back, Daehyun continues, "Look, truthfully, I've already taken a liking to him, alright? That's why I didn't take up the offer."

Youngjae blinks in astonishment. "That fast?"

"Yeah. You can tell, can't you? He's the type I like. Really nice."

A potent sourness churns in Youngjae's guts. He always thought that when Daehyun said he was open to falling in love with men, he meant that he leaned towards girls primarily, but could see himself liking a guy. If Daehyun could spend just a day with Jinhwan and fall for him, Youngjae wonders about the years he's spent by Daehyun's side. He must really be of no interest to Daehyun at all. Why? Is his personality that terrible?

It's childish. It's so childish and it shouldn't matter. He knows it, but why does he feel so upset?

"So, you didn't take up the offer because you already liked him. How nice," Youngjae hums, the sarcasm chewing into his words.

Daehyun stares at him. "Yeah.”

Youngjae can't stop the bitterness in his voice. "I'm so happy for you. That you fell for him so quickly. Won't be long before you're growing the blood flowers."

"He's such a nice guy, huh? Maybe you'll grow a lot. You should be careful since you fell for him just a few hours after getting to know him; you might fall for him straight away after seeing him after the operation. I should deliver the flowers for you."

"You're happy for me?" Daehyun intones, thinning his lips.

"Very. You fell for him so quickly. That client didn't have to worry at all since you took such a huge liking to him pretty much instantly. I shouldn't have worried that you would be uncomfortable either. This client charmed you so easily, it's amazing," Youngjae hums. "Congrats. I made all that fuss for nothing."

Daehyun locks his jaw. "Youngjae, if you're annoyed with me, say it straight."

"What does it matter?" Youngjae seethes, finally breaking with his voice raised. "I don't get what you ing want from me! You get mad if I'm mad. I try to be nice and you get mad too. I'm sick of you. I'm sick of you and your stupid blood flowering. Go ruin yourself all you want."

"You "try to be nice"?" Daehyun repeats, tone harsh. He's about to spout more when the tears well up in Youngjae's eyes. Immediately, the anger snaps into surprise, draining all traces of indignation out. It's ridiculous.

Daehyun steps closer. "Youngjae-"

"Don't touch me." Youngjae's voice shakes and he heads for the door. "My shift's over. I'm going home."

Daehyun grasps Youngjae's arm and his voice drops to a soft, remorseful tone. "Youngjae, hey, I'm sorry. Please don't cry-"

Youngjae shoves him away. "Leave me alone. I mean it, Jung Daehyun," Youngjae grits, his voice pathetically shattering into a sob. "If you follow me, I'll never come back here again. I swear it."

Daehyun tries to grab hold again. "No, I'm really sorry. It's my fault. I-"

"I said leave me alone! I'll quit right now if you follow me," Youngjae hisses, the teardrops streaking down his cheeks like a broken faucet. "I'm done with today's shift so I'm leaving now."

Just then, the bell rings, a gust of wind pulled in as an elderly lady steps in with her small grandson. Youngjae brushes past her with an apology while she glimpses at him in bewilderment.

Youngjae steps out and briskly walks down the road, wiping at his tears in embarrassment. God, he didn't mean to break down like that. He doesn't even know where that came from. All that anguish from before just burst at the seams suddenly--and he doesn't even know why he's so upset. Sure, he's pissed because Daehyun could have taken up the offer. But he knows it's not a good thing to do to a client, no matter if he has all the money in the world to spare. So, why did the whole situation irk him so much?

Youngjae sniffles, embarrassment overwhelming him as he gulps down his tears swiftly. He lowers his face so the passers-by don't see his tear-stained face. He's shocked that Daehyun fell for Jinhwan so fast. He hadn't even fallen for Junhee that abruptly, and Junhee was another unbearably nice client, though perhaps not to Jinhwan's extent.

Does it mean he's not nice enough for Daehyun's standards? Youngjae hadn't know he was so horrid of a person that Daehyun wouldn't take an ounce of interest in him. He was capable of falling for Jessica, and clearly, he's not as averse to dating men as Youngjae assumed. So, it must mean Youngjae's a pretty bland person in Daehyun's eyes, or basically not at all qualified to even be considered romantically by Daehyun.

Youngjae lets out a thin breath, patting his face to rid the remaining tears. He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated by how shallow he's being. How can he genuinely be so offended to burst out into tears? He's in a relationship with Jisook, so why the hell does it matter that his friend doesn't see him as anything more than a friend? If he was single and a girl he knew considered him undateable, then yeah, he'd feel pretty insulted. But it's not like Jisook broke up with him and called him the most unlikable scum on earth.

Youngjae sighs. He must have freaked Daehyun out of his wits. He'd better apologise later and blame it on his hormones or that he had a crappy morning. The bleakness still stirs in Youngjae's chest, however, despite the rational thoughts chewing him out for his overemotional outburst. Daehyun doesn't deserve it, he knows that, but he can't help feeling upset still.

His phone vibrates in his pocket. Youngjae hesitates upon seeing Daehyun’s contact and ultimately rejects the call. He sees a couple of messages from Daehyun but doesn’t open them, checking the time. Jisook should be awake now.

He calls her, hoping to hear her voice for some comfort. Jisook picks up after several rings, her greeting slow.

“Youngjae.”

“Jisook,” Youngjae lights up, feeling soothed already. “Did you just wake up?”

“Mm. It’s evening for you, hm?” She sounds tired, Youngjae notes, probably because it’s still morning. He feels bad for bothering her.

“Yeah. Did you just wake up?”

“No, I woke up at 8. Did you want to say something important?”

“Oh, no. Just felt like calling you. Do you want to video call?” Youngjae asks hopefully.

There’s some silence over the phone. “Sorry, I’m kind of in the middle of something right now,” Jisook softly answers.

“Oh, okay. Sorry for bothering you.”

“It’s alright,” she hums, coughing shortly

“Let me know when you’re free. I’ll call you then.”

“Sure.” Jisook falters before remarking, “Remember to eat your dinner.”

“You too, remember to eat your breakfast. And wear warmly. I checked the weather; it says it’ll be raining for the whole week in London.”

“Yeah. I will. Thanks.”

Youngjae cuts the call, exhaling in disappointment. He decides to take a walk instead, regaining some composure as the faceless breeze past him in a hurry of footsteps.

Night falls into a heavy blue, city lights peppering the ambience as the traffic rushes to get home. Youngjae paces back to his apartment block and walks up the stairs to his unit.

He notices a figure loitering outside his door. As he makes out Daehyun’s silhouette, Daehyun notices him, turning to face him.

“Youngjae,” he calls out. It’s just a name, yet Youngjae can sieve out the excruciating consternation.

Youngjae dips his head, embarrassment clambering over him. He merely nods and walks over, fishing out his keys.

“Hey, I’m really sorry,” Daehyun breathes. “You’re right. I’m an idiot. I should have accepted it. I’ll call him tomorrow and ask about it.”

“No, don’t,” Youngjae mumbles, shame forcing his gaze to the floor. “I was being pissy and I overreacted. I… didn’t mean to cry and make it a big deal. Sorry. Just go ahead with it.”

“No, you were looking out for me. Sorry. Shouldn’t have lied to the client and said it didn’t hurt,” Daehyun insists. “I’ll call him tomorrow.”

Youngjae bites his lips. He isn’t sure what’s worse—the embarrassment over dramatically wailing his eyes out or the fact that Daehyun cares so much to give up any reason just to make sure Youngjae isn’t upset.

“No, I’m really not mad anymore,” Youngjae murmurs. “I don’t know why I reacted like that. Seriously. I know you can’t just take his money like that. So just pretend like all that didn’t happen, okay?”

He unlocks the door and kicks off his shoes. Faltering for a second, he turns back and asks softly, “Are you leaving now?”

“Uh, do you want me to go?” Daehyun breathes.

Youngjae squirms. “You can come in if you want.”

He leaves the door open behind him as he steps in. Once he turns around, he bumps into Daehyun’s chest. He wants to step back but Daehyun envelops him in a hug, nestling Youngjae into his chest.

“Sorry,” Daehyun wheezes. “I’m really sorry. Didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“Mm. I said it’s okay,” Youngjae whispers, uncomfortably squirming in Daehyun’s grasp. He eventually relents and rests against Daehyun, indulging in his warmth.

“Sorry for overreacting. I don’t know what came over me.”

“You were tired,” Daehyun fills in hoarsely. “Of having to always worry about me, yet I’m still like this. I’m sorry. I know it’s tiring for you.”

“Maybe,” Youngjae faintly answers. He remarks with some pettiness, “When you were sick, you said that you tell me not to nag because it bothers you to see me mad. But it’s actually because it’s annoying, isn’t it?”

“I’m annoyed because I don’t like fighting with you,” Daehyun stresses. His arms tighten around Youngjae’s waist. “I’m sorry. I’m really such a bastard.”

“You’re not. I’d be annoyed too.”

“Youngjae,” Daehyun expels a lengthy breath. He leans back and locks eyes with Youngjae, conflict blatant in his expression.

“I… just want things to be like before. Before this whole blood flowering thing.”

His breath tickles Youngjae’s lips. “We keep fighting all the time. I don’t want you to be burdened by my blood flowering. I just want us to be the same.”

He rests his forehead against Youngjae’s shoulder. “It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.”

“It’s not. I’m sorry. I know you can’t help it,” Youngjae whispers. He runs a hand down Daehyun’s back soothingly.

“If I could just stop, we wouldn’t have to be like this,” Daehyun croaks, despondency writhing through his words. “Wouldn’t have to fight like this everyday, and you wouldn’t have to be so sad about my Hanahaki disease.”

“But you can’t.” Youngjae gingerly embraces Daehyun, melting into his hold fully.

“Yeah. I can’t. I really wish I could.” The sheer misery from his voice crumples Youngjae’s heart.

“I can work for free,” he offers. “Hanbin and Jiwon… they can stop by whenever. Get jobs elsewhere but still come over to visit.”

Daehyun laughs lowly. “I want it to be the four of us together.”

He shifts back and gently cups Youngjae’s face, thumbing the dried tear streaks. “Your eyes are swollen. You look like you got beaten up.”

“Thanks,” Youngjae deadpans. They chuckle in unison, both holding on despite the intimacy stretching for too long. Youngjae’s pupils fall to Daehyun’s lips and he pulls his stare back up to Daehyun’s half-lidded eyes.

“Sorry for reacting like that. I really don’t know what came over me. Guess it was hormones.”

“You talk like you’re pregnant,” Daehyun snorts. He coughs, pressing a hand to his chest in discomfort.

“You really are growing fast. You must like this client a lot, hm?” Youngjae says feebly. He churns out a smile still, despite the way his chest seems to plummet.

Daehyun shrugs. “It’ll be over in a few weeks. The faster, the better.”

He pats Youngjae’s shoulder and drawls, “Don’t burst out into tears again, alright? Nearly scared me to death. I closed the shop early for you once that lady left.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry.” Daehyun tugs Youngjae’s cheek and delicately twines his arms around Youngjae’s waist. He pulls him close, pressing his face against Youngjae’s hair.

“We’re always so sorry to each other. It’s funny,” Daehyun chuckles. “Let’s try not to do this again, alright? No more apologies.”

“I guess.” Youngjae nuzzles his face against Daehyun. “What about Jiwon? I thought he was coming tonight.”

“Told him not to. Thought he’d celebrate but he actually called to check up on me. They’re learning from you.”

“They’re little ‘me’s. I’m the naggy wife and you have naggy kids.”

“Gross,” Daehyun feigns throwing up. In his attempt, he breaks out into coughs, stumbling a little.

“Are you okay? It’s the flowers, isn’t it?” Youngjae mumbles.

“Yeah. I wonder what kind will grow.” Daehyun smiles tiredly. He ruffles Youngjae’s hair and angles his chin towards the door.

“I better get going.”

“You don’t want to stay?”

“It’s alright. Get some rest, you crybaby. I have to finish up some stuff at the store.”

“I’ll come. I’ll take Jiwon’s shift.” Youngjae moves to grab his wallet, but Daehyun stops him.

“I said it’s fine. Honest. Think it’s more stressful having you there.” He opens the door and slips into his shoes.

“Sorry,” Youngjae murmurs. He’s startled when Daehyun puts two fingers to his lips.

“Didn’t I say we should stop apologising to each other?” Daehyun grins, eyes crinkling into a breathtaking pair of crescents. He looks so weary now, for some reason.

He brushes Youngjae’s cheek tenderly, eyes glassy. The touch has Youngjae’s throat tightening.

“Rest well, alright? I’ll see you tomorrow night. Don’t be late.”

“Okay. You too.”

Daehyun nods and saunters down the hallway. He disappears round the corner.

Youngjae stares after him and cups his own cheek, trying to decipher how fast his heart’s pounding.

SLOWBURN.......

im sorry everyone for not replying comments, i really read everyone of them and they mean so much to me but life is hectic cuz of uni and being overseas ;; thank you so muhc for being so patient and always leaving feedback, you guys are so precious TvT<3 (and yes we are reaching the end soon somewhat)

ON TO LOVELY THINGS

Thank you so much to @shutupdaehyun on twitter for this GORGEOUS ARTWORK <3333 daehyun looks like he's pining and youngjae is just oblivious TT and the pretty flower details ;___;