"Sehee ssi."

The only answer I received was her piercing cold gaze that somehow could cut.

"Are you...umm, I just want to say...we..I mean, I...I mean...your brother, I'm sure he's proud of you."

"What are you? You...sneak. You eavesdropped?!"

She was strong. But then again, there's a reason me and Shiyoon have always tried to avoid the Kconic trainees. Don't get me wrong. They're cool. But they definitely have this intimidating aura surrounding them. Especially Lee Jinhee ssi. She's nice but... a little eccentric, that often left me not knowing how to respond. Minji ssi's a little more approachable, she always smile and wave at us and probably to everyone she locked eyes with. I've never spoke to Sehee ssi though. But it didn't feel right to know something about her and keeping it from her. Not that I knew what to say, if not for the little mind opening conversation with Sooyeon ssi whom I spoke to for the first time as well. A conversation that left me thinking, and thinking, something I'd never done. And left me wanting to have more first conversations. While there's still time. Something I've always taken for granted, thinking I had no choice however I thought.

"I'm sorry...we didn't...I mean, I didn't mean to."

"Just forget it. We're nobodies. Certainly not worth for you to remember."

"What? You're not nobody. Your My Best performance just now. It was so moving. Probably the most moving performance I've watched so far."

"Well, that's all thanks to Sira unnie."

"No...it's teamwork. No matter how small a contribution, it's still a contribution and makes a whole lot of difference."

"You think so?"

Surprisingly, I found it difficult for my own head to nod. Does being a small part really make big difference? I felt like choking at the thought of an answer that would hurt. But all these years, I've survived, still being able to smile everyday, because I make myself believe...things otherwise would be difficult to believe. I've always been a small part, and I never felt like my absence would change or give any impact. And that thought...just hurt.

"Yes..."

In the end, since my head would not cooperate for a nod, I stammered the single word, hoping it didn't come off forced, as it really was.

"Well...thanks...I guess." She shrugged. As expected of the Kconic trainees' reputation, she maintained her tough facade.

"And don't worry. I know he meant well, I'm just disappointed I couldn't show a cooler side of me, but maybe I never even tried that hard enough. Going here...everything is just...sudden...haywired...different than what we've prepared for...we felt like losing ourselves. At one point, I don't know what I'm doing or what I want. Don't you feel that too, Chaekyung ssi?"

"I'm...I never..."

"Ahh...I forgot...you're trained to be girly girlgroup right? So, there should be no such identity crisis problems with you..."

"I guess..."

"Well, I better get going. See you...maybe some years later."

She smiled briefly. She owns a pretty smile. But the brief smile made me wonder if it's also part of her identity she's afraid of losing.

"See you next mission, if not next day, Sehee ssi."

Somehow I wanted to say something that could make someone feel good about themselves. Because...doesn't it feel good to have someone to say something nice to you? To give you hopes? Whether or not it can be fulfilled?

This time she gave a brief snicker and lightly shook her head, as if I had just said a ridiculous thing before giving a repeated nod with her eyes closed, and then she left.

"By the way...Chaekyung ssi..."

I turned to the direction to see her looking back to me as well.

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