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"This seat is empty isn't it?"

"Oh..." I nodded, trying to smile after picking up my purse I carelessly left there and dusted the seat a bit. The next ten minutes or so went by with us, watching another performance by one of the dance teams with other girls still sitting at the watching room. They're all wearing same looking outfits, but each of them oozing with so much charisma. Yet, the air felt too awkward that I couldn't concentrate. But even with that distraction, I still noticed how good they were.

"Say...you're from which team just now? Oh...Sejeong's team, am I right?"

My eyes felt like they could pop out any second. To be honest, I was shocked, that she would notice I was in which team. Maybe, just maybe...I did good enough?

"How did you..."

"Your outfits...same colour."

"Oh..." I smiled, embarrassed at my own silliness. Of course, why didn't I thought of that possibility. How stupid.

Of course. How else would anyone notice me? I'm very aware that I stand out in no way, though some of the girls have told me I'm pretty. But then again, everyone tells that to everyone. Without even knowing each other, sometimes, not even the name. We just move past each other quickly, trying to catch up with vocal practice, dance practice, rap practice, every other classes while trying to catch up some rest, while being worried of being captured by the camera not in our prettiest presentation. We need to rush. We need to attend it all. We need to smile a lot too. Smile, keep smiling, cry, look pretty, smile some more, without knowing the reason we smile, we laugh, we cry. There's so little time. No, there's so little time for us to appear on screen, that we need to do whatever we could to grab some time. But I'm just tired. I know I'm not trying my best. Maybe I lack fighting spirit, maybe I've just been drained of all I had, in my previous survival show with my fellow trainees from same company. It wasn't that long ago. We were drained. Some couldn't handle it. We were hurt. But we kept smiling, for whatever reason. We smile to survive. Surviving is hard. Much harder than I thought. All I want is just to sing, dance, be seen by my parents, my friends, people who love me, while I shine on the stage, singing for them, with genuine satisfied smile alongside my team mates.

But right now, I don't even know my team mates, if I have even met them yet, or if I would even have them.

I don't know if I'm even going to debut.

I don't know anymore if being on stage felt that great.

I don't know anymore the reason I smile, when to just smile once, felt so tiring.

I wonder if any of them felt the same way.

"Ommo!"

Both our heads automatically turned to the little commotion.