I've Never Liked You(But I Always Loved You) by Ohluhan101

Title [7/10]

The title is longer than the average titles here on Asianfanfics, so it may be harder for people to remember it. However, it did capture my attention. Also, the correct grammatical version should be “I Never Liked You (But I’ve Always Loved You)”. I can see how the title relates to Sehun’s distrusting personality when it comes to love, so good job on that!

Description and Foreword [6/10]

The description is similar to many others fanfics, so it doesn’t immediately pique my interest. The foreword catches my attention more than the description because it gives me a better glimpse of what the story may be about than the description. The description is also a bit too general for my liking. You could hint at Sehun’s fear of falling in love as it is a big part of your story. It also has some grammatical errors which I’ve fixed below:

“Luhan had a terrible past and he seems to struggle with his present, and maybe future too. He is now in XoXo High School with his childhood friend D.O He is and is a target by of the two most popular bullies in school; : Oh Sehun and Kai. Struggling with his Life life, Luhan doesn’t know what does the future holds for him and his friend.”

Plot [8/15]

The plot is actually quite similar to many other fanfics, so I was expecting more twists or additions to make it stand out more. You manage to do so with the added comedy as well as with each character's back story, though I do wish the flow of the story would have been a bit slower at times. For example, although they are minor characters, I would have liked to see how Suho and Lay eventually decided to get engaged.

Character Development [6/10]

Besides Luhan and Sehun, the rest of characters seem two dimensional because we don’t get a lot of information on them besides how they interact with each other. Luhan’s personality is very childlike and he gets hurt easily, and although I love how you stuck with that, I do wish that there was some development on his character, like showing how he grows stronger with the help of his friends and Sehun. However, I really do like how you show Sehun growing from having this cold facade into someone who's willing to show his emotions and weaknesses. His speech towards the end of the story is just amazing and well done. Also, although it may be a minor part of the story, I also like how Baekhyun learns to deal with his jealousy of Luhan's and D.O's friendship and learn to be more accepting and open minded, so I'm hoping you can add on to the rest of the characters' personalities as well.

Writing Style [17/20]

Your writing style is mostly good, although it can be choppy at some parts. You do a wonderful job relaying the emotions of the characters, especially whenever Luhan reminisces about his mother and when Sehun spoke his speech. The raw, unfiltered emotions really shine through at these moments, and it just adds so much to the story. The only thing is that I would rather you describe the settings of each scene instead of putting pictures so that I am still able to visualize what each place looks like without images. By doing so, you'll also be able to enrich the reader's experience while still achieving the effect of letting them know what each setting is like.

Spelling, Grammar, and Diction [19/25]

Unfortunately, even with a beta reader, your story still has some minor grammatical errors, some of which I believe might simply be typos. I recommend that you carefully read through your story again to catch any mistakes. For example, I see that you use "your" a lot when it should be "you're", so just watch out for these mistakes. 

Personal Enjoyment [7/10]

Hunhan is one of my favorite otps, so that already added to the enjoyment factor, but I also like how this fanfic is both fluffy and angsty. There's a balance between the two, and that just adds to the enjoyment. Overall, this was a nice, fluffy read for me. 

Final Score [70/100]