Heaving a deep breath, Jaebum momentarily closes his eyes as he walks out of his department's faculty room. Clutching hard on the sheets of paper, trying his best not explode, he continues to walk slowly. It infuriates him that his professor refuses to accept his term paper all because he was late by ten ing minutes.

 

All the months' worth of research and hard work is in that paper. He's even pretty proud of what he has come up with, but no, Mr. Lee still refuses to give him a chance. 'Calm down, Jaebum.' He whispers to himself as he puts his steps on a halt.

 

No, he can't give up just like this. His term paper isn't pretty good; it's ing great because he really poured on his effort to it. Compared to his usual performance, he definitely added a hundred more percent to it. So, no, he will try to convince his professor to take his paper. Even if gives him a low grade, Mr. Lee has to see his works, that's all he wants.

 

Then, he breathes in deep, closing his eyes in the process as he turns around. But, bam! He's suddenly soaking wet from a cold beverage. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" the guy who owns it says in English, frantic and surprised with what happened. Seething in anger, Jaebum finally opens his eyes and sees a foreign looking guy trying to wipe him with his handkerchief.

 

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking at where I was going." He speaks again in English. And for some reasons, it infuriates Jaebum more. So, he flinches when the guy tries to wipe him again which obviously was taken aback. "I'm sorry." He says again and to this, Jaebum finally explodes.

 

He takes a step closer to the guy and speaks in a slow but piercing voice. "Stop speaking in English." the guy blinks at him profusely, slowly backing away from Jaebum. "Mianhaeyo." This time, he says it in Korean, but judging by how awkward his accent is, Jaebum can tell the guy isn't really fluent.

 

Jaebum glares at the guy who immediately bows his head when he refused to acknowledge the apology. He is a little shorter than Jaebum; he's also much skinnier than he is. His skinny jeans aren't really skinny at all; it is still too loose for his legs. Then, the guy looks up to him again.

 

As he is about to let it pass, he sees something that made him smack his own face. "." He mumbles and juts out his chin, and then he repeats it three more times. His term paper is now designed with brown wet spots and the letters are slowly fading. " it!" He says louder, this time, making the guy wince in fear.

 

Jaebum then walks towards the nearest trashcan and throws the paper in there. But before he leaves, he bumps the guy's shoulder harshly and glares hard at him too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"So, what's with the look?" Yugyeom asks as he sits in front of Jaebum in the cafeteria. Jaebum slowly looks up to his friend only to groan louder. "I thought you hate sodas?" his friend adds, trying to get the smell of the stains on his white shirt. "Coke?"

 

Jaebum groans again, wiping his face with hands. "Am I gonna talk to myself?" Yugyeom asks again with a snicker, but Jaebum still refuses to utter a single word. "Seriously, though, what happened hyung?" And just he is about to answer the younger, he sees his food on his tray.

 

With utter disgust, he pushes Yugyeom's tray farther from his. "What the ?" This time, Yugyeom raises his voice and totally ignored the fact the Jaebum is two years older than him. "What the are you eating?" Jaebum fires back, imitating the younger's voice.

 

To this, Yugyeom leans back on his chair, sighing audibly. "I'm eating burger and fries." Yugyeom answers calmly, but he knows too well where the conversation will lead. This isn't the first time. "I know, but why are you eating that food?" With his brows raised, Jaebum asks back, looking at Yugyeom's tray distastefully.

 

Yugyeom then shakes his head slowly and savors the fry in his mouth exaggeratedly before he replies. "Why do you hate western food so much?" Jaebum looks down on his tray, a bowl of ramyun and egg rolls. "I don't hate western food, but I don't like them. There's a difference."

 

The younger shakes his head again, laughing a little. "I know." He says and then he points the fry to Jaebum. "It's you who doesn't know the difference. If you 'do not like' it, why are you so disgusted by it?" It has been a bad day for Jaebum; he doesn't have any left energy to argue with his friend, so he shuts up and ignores him.

 

 

 

"Hey, hey, heeeey!" Jaebum and Yugyeom simultaneously look up and see Jackson walking towards them. He's with Bambam, Youngjae, Jinyoung and another guy Jaebum couldn't see from his position. "Hey, Jackson Wang!" Yugyeom greets in his faux American accent, which of course didn't go unnoticed.

 

Jaebum raises his brows quickly to acknowledge his friends then he looks down at his food again. "By the way guys, I'm introducing you to our new friend." Jackson says in his heavily accented Korean, sometimes it still makes Jaebum cringe.

 

"Just like me and Bambam, he's a foreigner too, so be nice to him, okay?" To this, Jaebum low key rolls his eyes and refuses to look up to the 'new friend'. He has enough with two foreigners, he doesn't need another one.

 

But there, in front of him, Yugyeom seems so happy and excited. To be honest, Jaebum doesn't really know why his friends make so much fuss with the foreigners in their school. And as Jackson introduces the new friend, whose name is Mark Tuan to Yugyeom, he feels a strong stare at him. And as curious as he is, he looks up and sees the reason why there are brown spots on his shirt.

 

"It's you." The guy, Mark, says in English quietly. He’s still looking scared and apologetic to Jaebum. It's really getting on his nerves, now he has to avoid his friends to avoid interacting with him. "I'm sorry." He says again and it's in English again. Jaebum then violently scratches his head then stands up.

 

"Why are you apologizing to him?" Jackson asks, wide-eyed, looking back and forth to Mark and Jaebum. "I accidentally bumped into him earlier and I spilled my drinks on him." Mark replies and it suddenly earns an 'aaahhh.' from Yugyeom.

 

"So you're the reason why Jaebum hyung is so pissed." Yugyeom states casually which he receives a yell from Jinyoung. "What? You know how much Jaebum hyung hates sodas. And I also heard from someone who saw them that Jaebum hyung got his term paper wet because of it too."

 

To this, Mark bows his head. "I'm so sorry." He says but Jaebum can't take it anymore, him speaking in English and him ing up his day. "I'm really-"

 

"Can you stop speaking in English? No, just, shut up!" Jaebum yells and then he leaves them without looking back. Even after Youngjae and Jinyoung called him a lot of times.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So it's safe to say that for the next weeks, Jaebum avoided his friends. He would hang out with Youngjae sometimes since he's the one who understands him most. Sometimes with Yugyeom too, but he always brings up Mark. Jinyoung, on the other hand, is always with Mark, so he hadn't talk to him in a while.

 

Jackson and Bambam are the same. And since they're both foreigners they give Mark more time. It is also because, like Youngjae once told him, "they don't want Mark to feel uncomfortable in Korea."

 

"You know what, I don't get why you're so mean to Mark hyung." Yugyeom says finally after he decides to spend the lunch with him, but he's definitely regretting it now. Yugyeom and his endless questions about Jaebum ignoring Mark. "Tell me, why?"

 

Jaebum shakes his head and refuses to answer. Mainly because he doesn't really know it either. Three days ago, he was stuck with the whole group and Mark came with take-outs from McDonald's. And as soon as he smelled the fries, he stood up and goes to leave the room. He did after saying, "disgusting." when Youngjae tried to feed him with a fry.

 

"I get it, you don't like, or should I say ‘hate’, western food, but hyung! There's no reason for you to be so rude to him. He actually bought us food with his own money and you acted like that to him?" Yugyeom continues roasting him and all he could do was listen and keep himself calm.

 

"Is it still because of your term paper? Or is there another reason for your hostility?" To this, Jaebum stiffens and stop eating for a second. "Is it because he's from LA?" Jaebum then looks up to Yugyeom's eyes and he sees utter disgust. "It is because he's from WEST?"

 

So before Yugyeom can come up with his conclusion, Jaebum leaves him alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ever since then, Yugyeom stopped talking to him. The others are too busy; therefore, here he is, walking into a ramyun shop alone. Nobody likes Korean food more than Jaebum and his friends know that very well.

 

And as he walks closer to the counter, he sees the guy that he has been avoiding for almost a month now. Mark is queuing in the line, looking up at the menu hanging from the ceiling. Jaebum glances around and sees none of his friends, which is a surprise, they never leave him alone.

 

With the force that he doesn't know, Jaebum walks up behind him and he tries to see what Mark is going to order. "Kim... ji- chi, ji... gi- gae. Kimchi Jigae." He hears Mark reading the menu and he quite couldn't help but grimace at it.

 

When it's Mark's turn, he visibly grew anxious and distressed. "Um.. Ah. Um." Mark tries to read the menu, but he can't read the other hangul yet. "You should order Jajangmyeon and kimbap." Jaebum cuts in and Mark, who seems like he didn't notice it was him (thanks to his cap), nods and tells the staff that he'd order it.

 

"Make it two orders please." Jaebum adds up after the staff repeated Mark's order. And then, he hands his card and paid for both. "Excuse me, you don't have to pay for mine." Mark says in his poor Korean, even stuttering a little bit and placing the stress on the wrong syllables.

 

"It's okay." Jaebum replies, tucking back his card in his wallet. Mark then bows to him multiples times. "Thank you." He says and then he bows again. "I said it's okay, you can stop bowing." Jaebum states a little annoyed. He should really start working on his temper.

 

Mark bows for the last time, but when he looks back on Jaebum's face, he freezes. Slowly, unsurely, he lifts his hand and takes Jaebum's cap off and then it falls off. He gasps and takes a step back, now Jaebum feels bad at it. He must have scared Mark so much that he has to be on a defensive stance even when Jaebum's not angry at all.

 

Luckily, before his cap reaches the floor, Jaebum catches it without breaking the eye contact with Mark. "Jaebum." Mark mumbles and then Jaebum nods at him, placing his cap back on his head. Then that's when their order comes in. Jaebum takes it and looks for an empty table, which happens to be beside the window.

 

He makes his way there not at least before motioning Mark to follow him. "Why are you alone? Shouldn't you be with Jinyoung or Jackson and Bambam? Or anyone at all?" this is the longest sentence Jaebum has ever said to Mark so the latter can't contain his smile.

 

"What?" Jaebum asks as he transfers their food from the tray to the table. Mark shakes his head, still smiling. "I wanted to explore around alone today." He replies, but then Jaebum stops in his tracks and turns to him fully. "Should I leave you then?" He asks, which makes Mark shake his head frantically.

 

"No. no. no. Please stay." Mark replies immediately, unknowingly holding Jaebum's wrist too. "I'm sorry." He says when he notices how Jaebum froze with the sudden contact. Jaebum dismisses it starts digging in his own food, keeping quiet until he's done.

 

Mark, on the other side of the table, keeps on glancing at him. He's probably trying to initiate a conversation but he's not quite sure on how to do it. He isn't really much of a talker and Jaebum's not someone he could call a friend. So, after his fifth attempt to do it, he gives up and eats his own food in silence.

 

 

 

 

 

"Did you like the food?" Jaebum asks as they walk out of the shop. Mark lights up as soon as he hears Jaebum's voice, he then walks faster and keeps the same pace with the latter. "Yeah, I like spicy food so I really enjoyed it." Mark answers, nodding to himself.

 

"That's good, I like Korean food the best." For whatever reason, Jaebum tells Mark about it and feels like it's nothing. Well, you see, he's not an open person; it would definitely take time before he opens up with people. Sure, he's everybody's friend, but that doesn't mean that everybody is his friend.

 

Mark smiles at him while nodding like he knows it already. "Yugyeom told me that." He says a little later and then Jaebum is suddenly hit by a particular memory which involves the guy and a food. Thinking that Mark is thinking of the same memory, Jaebum nods his head and keeps his lips in a straight line.

 

As they make their way to the streets, the skies become a little darker. When Jaebum went out earlier, he heard from the news that there's a high chance of raining. (Which he was pretty skeptic with earlier because it was so hot.) "So, where's your next stop?" Jaebum asks nonchalantly, he still has his eyes up in the clouds.

 

"I don't know yet." Mark states with a bit of excitement in his voice. "I will probably eat ice cream?" Then, he looks at Jaebum who is already looking at him. Mark's face suddenly feels warm; having Jaebum's eyes on him somewhat makes him feel weird.

 

That is especially after the latter steps closer to him, taking his cap off in the process. Then, he places it on Mark's head; he also adjusts the snaps to fit perfectly. "Good luck then." Jaebum says, patting Mark's shoulder softly. The latter nods with his eyes suddenly forgetting how to act normal. He can't even look at Jaebum's eyes directly.

 

And before Mark even gets to notice it, Jaebum hails a taxi and leaves him alone by the street. Feeling like he's too stricken with what had just happened, Mark stays at his spot. The taxi's long gone now but the smile on his face is still present.

 

He looks at the direction where Jaebum headed to before he turns his feet around and walks to the other side. But it didn't take long after he reached the bus stop when it starts raining. He can still eat ice cream even with that kind of weather, but getting to the ice cream parlor is kind of hard.

 

The rain then starts pouring hard and it also starts soaking Mark's clothes. The waiting shed is doing a poor job on keeping him dry, but he couldn't really put the blame on it. He should have brought his umbrella with him before he left his apartment.

 

As he looks for his handkerchief in his pocket, the drizzle from his right side suddenly stopped. And when he tries to find out why, he clearly wasn't expecting a soaked Jaebum panting hard in front of him. "Are you okay?" Jaebum asks between takes of breaths. Mark blinks his eyes, couldn't form a sound because he's too surprised.

 

So, he nods his head as he unconsciously reaches his handkerchief to dry Jaebum's face. The latter lets him for the first few seconds, but after realizing what is happening, he gently pushed Mark's hand away. "The bus won't come until five." Jaebum says quietly, looking at his watch and showing to Mark that it's only three in the afternoon.

 

Then, he takes his jacket off as he walks closer to Mark. He places his garment above their heads before he says "But it shouldn't stop you from eating ice cream." Mark, all the while, is too puzzled, but after realizing what Jaebum is offering him, he nods his head and grins at him happily.

 

"On three." Jaebum whispers, maneuvering Mark to get in deeper into his personal bubble. "On three." Mark repeats as he bites his smile away. "One. Two. Three-" Mark almost has his back on Jaebum's chest, but all the latter could think of is how fun it is.

 

They are laughing and giggling while the rain mercilessly drenches their clothes. When Jaebum spots another shed, he motions Mark to go there. But they only spent a few minutes there as Jaebum's only intention is to shake off the water from his jacket. After he's done, he places it over them again and urges Mark to run again.

 

They were supposed to get to the nearest ice cream parlor, but they end up squeezed together as they run to wherever their feet take them. Then, they found themselves inside a convenience store. They are both equally drenched in the rain and equally high from happiness. "Don't worry, they sell ice cream here." Jaebum mumbles as he tries his best not laugh.

 

"I can't believe I did all of this to eat ice cream in seven eleven." Mark tries to reply seriously, but he's obviously having a hard time when Jaebum gives him the look. Then, they break into a full laughter. It's like Jaebum has totally forgotten that few days ago, Mark was getting on his nerves.

 

As they both sobered up from their high, their eyes meet and Jaebum literally felt his insides warming up. Mark, instead of looking away, smiles at him wider and his eyes turn into cute crescents. So, Jaebum is supposed to look away because Mark refused to do it, but not a single atom of his body complied.

 

"Go on, buy the best ice cream in Korea." Jaebum can only snicker, having been betrayed by his body. Mark nods at him and walks towards the counter. After finally getting a hold of himself, Jaebum looks away, drying off his jacket and shirt. They should buy a shirt after this so they won't get sick.

 

Mark comes back with two ice creams and a wide grin on his face. "Thank you." He says before he hands Jaebum the other ice cream. "Thank you?" Jaebum repeats, hesitantly taking the sweet food. "What for?" Mark sits beside him urges him to do the same thing. Then he shrugs and happily eats his ice cream.

 

 

 

 

 

It's already past five when the rain stopped pouring, but, at least, Jaebum and Mark get to change clothes. There was a boutique shop right across the street. So, now they're clad in a couple looking collared shirt. It was the last pair the shop has and neither of them wants to get sick so they compromise.

 

Jaebum has his wet clothes inside the plastic bag that came in with their shirts. Mark has his too, but despite the smell of the new clothes (which he hates), none of them seem to mind. Not when they're both too busy talking to each other.

 

"There's another restaurant I am frequent. And mark my words; they have the best ddokbokki in town." Jaebum states, not really giving a damn that the back of his other hand has been brushing against Mark's. "Then I would like to try it soon." Mark says enthusiastically.

 

Of course, Jaebum would be lying if he were to say that he has totally forgotten why he hated Mark in the first place. But hey, the guy's willing to explore his culture and is pretty enthusiastic about it too, so why not give him a chance? That's what he tells himself.

 

And then the next moment, they're back at the same bus stop. The tiredness finally taking on their bodies, so then comes a comfortable silence. That is until Mark's bus appears from the corner of the street. "Hey, it's my bus." He says, calling Jaebum's attention who seems to have drifted into his own world.

 

Jaebum turns to him, nonchalantly nodding. "Goodbye then." He mumbles. Then Mark raises his hands, about to take Jaebum's cap off his head. "Oh. No, keep it. It's yours." Jaebum cuts him off and then motions to the bus after. Mark pats his own head and says, "Thanks." before he climbs into the bus.

 

Jaebum, on a normal occasion, wouldn't wave at his friends whenever they ride their buses. Let's just say that he forgot that and actually did it along with a warm smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mark is already slightly feverish when he reaches his apartment. But he definitely felt better after receiving a message from an unknown number.

 

 

 

From: Unknown Number

 

If you want to, I can accompany you to the restaurant I was talking about. Next weekend would fine, I mean if it's fine with you. - Jaebum.

 

 

 

There are just too many questions popping in Mark's head. First, how did Jaebum got his number? (Not that he's complaining, though.) Next, why is he texting him that? Is he asking him out? Then, should he be happy about it? But before he drowns with his questions, he types in a quick reply.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From: Mark Tuan

 

Sure sure. :)

 

I hope you got home safe.

 

 

 

Comes in Mark's reply. Jaebum has just finished showering, afraid that he would catch a fever. Well, at least after bribing Youngjae to give him Mark's number. And he might want to add that he's thankful that he has Youngjae's loyalty and he's certain he wouldn't make a fuss about it.

 

 

 

To: Mark Tuan

 

Okay. It's set then.

 

Yes. You too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next week passed by quickly and then the next too, and the next and next and next until they've lost count. And even though they have been getting along fine, Jaebum can tell how cautious Mark is. He never once tries to purposely speak in English unless he doesn't know it in Korean.

 

And Jaebum too, has been pretty welcoming to him. Every time they're out on what they call 'Mark's exploration', he also teaches him Korean phrases here and there. It also ends with Jaebum sending Mark home with their hands clasped together. He can’t even remember how it happens every time, but by the end of the day, he knows he doesn’t want to let go.

 

That’s the farthest they went, holding hands and probably leaning at each other shoulders during bus rides. Or maybe the most intimate action they did was stare into each other’s eyes while laughing without even feeling awkward or wanting to look away.

 

 

"So, what's the real score?" Yugyeom asks as he slips in beside Jaebum in the cafeteria.  The older glances at him, his brows raised, not really knowing how to answer Yugyeom's question.

 

"Real score? Of what? Is this about my term paper?" Jaebum asks back, moving over to make space for Yugyeom. The latter, upon hearing Jaebum's questions, rolls his eyes. "No." He says and then he rests his chin on his palms as he looks straight into Jaebum's eyes.

 

"You and Mark hyung." To this, Jaebum stiffens and moves back a little. "Why do we have to have a score? We're nothing." He says smoothly, no maybe he stuttered here and there which obviously makes Yugyeom smirk. "Oh, nothing? That's why you two go out on a date every other day?"

 

Yugeyom leans back and starts eating his food.  He might not have been getting the answers he wants, but he's definitely seeing the reactions he wants. "Yugyeom, if you're thinking that Mark and I are a thing, you're definitely wrong. I don't like Mark that way. And I'm certain I will never like him that way." Jaebum states a matter-of-factly like he has been practicing the line for ages.

 

The younger then turns back to him with one of his eyebrows raised. "Why?" He asks, making sure to add a provoking tone to it. "Because I cannot love him." Jaebum says what came into his mind first even though it's really illogical and stupid. "And why?" Yugyeom asks again even though he seems like he already knows the reason.

 

"Because he's not Korean." There, Jaebum says it, then he expects the younger to throw a rebuttal, but all he Yugyeom did was shake his head. Since he doesn't like the topic, he doesn't probe deeper into it and focused on his food as well.

 

And maybe waits for Mark's text. They were supposed to meet and the foreigner was supposed to arrive few minutes ago, but he's still not there.

 

 

 

Little did he know, Mark had been standing few feet away from them. And he, in fact, heard everything. So, instead of going to Jaebum's table, he runs off without even saying hi.

 

 

 

 

 

"Is there something wrong?" Jaebum whispers to Mark, which takes the latter by surprise. Jaebum is the least person he wants to see in the moment, that's why he's been hiding in the library. But alas, Jaebum has finally caught him.

 

"No." Mark replies, walking farther from Jaebum, pretending to read the books' title. "Then why have you been ignoring me?" Jaebum then holds onto Mark's arm. Surprised again at Jaebum's boldness, Mark turns and looks into Jaebum's eyes.

 

He has creases on his forehead and his eyebrows are almost connecting. "I'm not ignoring you." Mark tries to wiggle his arm out, but Jaebum only tightens his hand. Then he pulls him out of the library, dragging him all the way to the secluded hallway.

 

"Then why have you been ignoring my messages?" Jaebum still refuses to let him go, so Mark doubles his effort to shrug the other off. "Can you please let me go?" Mark whispers, pushing Jaebum's hand off him, but still, the latter refuses.

 

"I'm not letting you go until you explain it to me." Jaebum firmly says. Considering that in the past week he's been good dealing with his anger issues. But now, everything seems to go back the same. He can feel himself getting mad at little things again.

 

"Jaebum-ah, let me go." Mark says in English, which is definitely wrong timing because it doubles Jaebum's anger. "Dammit!" Jaebum can't hold it in anymore so yells at Mark. Then, another figure appears beside them.

 

"Is there something wrong here?" Asks the guy in English. Jaebum isn't friends with the guy, but he knows he is Korean who grew up in the US. "No, not really. We're just talking, Jaehyung. Don't worry." Mark replies fast as if he's afraid to explain things to the guy which infuriates Jaebum more. For some reason it really did.

 

"Are you sure? This doesn't seem okay to me." Jaehyung follows up, walking closer to them. But Mark motions him to stop. "Don't worry about it, we're just talking. We're-"

 

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop speaking in English!?" Jaebum suddenly yells, louder than earlier. Then, he also abruptly lets Mark's hand go. "Jaebum-ah." Mark tries to reach to him, but Jaebum flinches away. "What the is wrong with you dude?" Jaehyung advances and stands right in front of Jaebum

 

"No, Jaehyung, st-"

 

"You knew very well that Mark is a foreigner and more importantly, he isn't born and raised here in Korea. Why would you ask him to stop speaking his language? That's pretty rude. No, that is so ing rude." Jaehyung states, keeping a defensive stance in case Jaebum tries to punch him.

 

"He's in Korea; he should have learned the language first before coming here." Jaebum reasons out, speaking as if Mark isn't just a foot away from him. But this only makes Jaehyung laugh. "For someone who hangs out with Mark all the time, you're very very rude to him. And you think he owes you and explanation for ignoring you?"

 

And that takes the cake. Jaebum lunges forward, throwing a punch on Jaehyung's jaw. Of course, the latter wouldn't let it go just like that, so he throws a punch too. But this time, Mark goes to rush to his side to stop Jaehyung from throwing another punch.

 

"Are you okay?" Mark asks and there goes his awkward accent again. He tries to wipe the blood on Jaebum's lips, but the latter pushes him off. Then, he runs away without looking back at Mark. "Jaebum-ah!" Mark yells, running after Jaebum. But as soon as Jaebum hears it, he runs faster until Mark couldn't catch up anymore.

 

"What did I even do this time?" Mark whispers to himself as he wipes his eyes. He bites his lip and runs towards the direction of his apartment. It , he thinks. If he were Korean, this would have been easier for him, for them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A week passed by and Jaebum still refuses to acknowledge Mark's presence. He even apologized a lot of times which adds more into Jaebum's guilt. Mark isn't even supposed to apologize to him; he just couldn't bring himself to do the same thing to him.

 

It's when he finally tries to eat at the university cafeteria that he received a punch in the face from Yugyeom. "You know what; I tried so hard not to say this to you, in hopes that you'd realize it yourself. But did you know that you're a ing racist?" Yugyeom says and then he leaves him as soon as he's done.

 

But he feels like he's been hit by a train. Because that's what he's been avoiding to acknowledge. That's what he's been trying to not to think of. That's what he's afraid of. That he might be a racist by default.

 

 

 

 

 

Sooner after the confrontation, Yugeyom, along with their other friends somewhat stopped talking to him. Well, Youngjae still does, but he, of course, didn't hold himself back when he told him that "I'm disappointed in you, hyung."

 

And that's also the reason why he's waiting for Yugyeom at his class. "What are you doing here? I'd be honest with you; I don't want to be associated with someone like you anymore." Yugyeom says as soon as he sees Jaebum. The older stays quiet as the younger talks, then, he breathes in hard and looks into his eyes.

 

"You might have been true. I might be a racist." Jaebum starts and it makes Yugyeom roll his eyes. "But!" Jaebum immediately follows, knowing that Yugeyom might leave him. "It's not even because I think these foreigners are lesser being than us or I feel superior to them. It's more of because I am afraid."

 

To this, Yugyeom crosses his arms and stares deeper into Jaebum's eyes. "I am afraid that I will fall in love in their culture. I will in love with their world. I will fall in love with one of them." He whispers the last sentence, but of course, Yugyeom is able to catch it.

 

"And I know it'll be hard because there is no part of that person that I know. It's basically a start from scratch. A whole new situation that I can only go through trial and error." He continues his monolog, now talking to himself more than Yugyeom.

 

"But that's not enough for me to act like this. To hate them." Yugyeom nods his head, finally smiling a little, but he's still waiting for another realization. "No, in fact, I don't hate them. I don't hate him." Finally Yugyeom smiles and then he pats Jaebum's shoulder. "I know, hyung, I know you don't and you don't 'don't like' him either."

 

Jaebum, after realizing what Yugyeom told him, breaks into a full smile as well. "Yeah, you might be right." He says, biting his smile. "I'm always right." Yugyeom cuts in and laughs, but he stops abruptly as he places both of his hands on Jaebum's shoulder.

 

"Go and find him, hyung! Fighting!" and before Jaebum can even reply, Yugyeom has already pushed him around. So, does the next step. He runs towards where Mark could possibly be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He's right. Mark is at his favorite restaurant, the place where 'Mark's exploration' all started. But he's not really inside; he's at the bus stop few steps away. So, Jaebum runs towards him, like he did when it suddenly rained that time.

 

He almost looks the same, like he's looking for something or someone. But unlike the last time, he's frowning. "Hey." Jaebum says in English as he steps in closer to him. Mark, clearly flabbergasted, looks at him wide-eyed. "Jaebum-ah."

 

"Can I hug you?" Jaebum asks, taking another step closer to Mark. The latter, though, doesn't reply and only stares at Jaebum. "Mark, can I hug you?" He asks again, but Mark still refuses to give him an answer. So, instead, Jaebum lifts his hand and opens his palm.

 

"Then, can I hold your hand? I just need to do it so I'd find strength to say what I need to tell you." finally, albeit hesitantly, Mark places his hand above Jaebum's who slowly envelopes it. Then, the latter walks another step closer to him until their shoulders are touching.

 

"I know I've been an to you since day one and I apologize for that.  I know my reasons for being mean to you will never be valid. What I did to you will always be wrong. It probably won't appease you in any way, but I'm sincerely apologizing for it. I'm sorry." He starts but he immediately feels Mark squeezing his hand, like whenever he starts telling him about himself.

 

"But there's also one more thing I need to ask you." This time, he faces Mark and squeezes his hand too. "I want to ask you, if you'd allow me, can you give me a chance to love you?" Mark, who is completely taken aback, blinks profusely.

 

And it's all because he has just been swept off his feet. "Jaebum-ah." He says and then he slowly embraces the other, resting his cheek against Jaebum's. "Jaebum-ah." He says again, tightening his hug on him. "Of course, I would give it to you even if you don't ask for it."

 

That's when Jaebum returns the hug like he has been meaning to do for the past weeks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Why were you not mad at me at all?" Jaebum asks as he pulls Mark closer to him, nuzzling his nose into the other's hair. Mark then moves until his back is touching Jaebum's chest, interlacing their fingers on his stomach. Jaebum's definitely a certified cuddler that no one perceived him to be.

 

"I don't have a reason." Mark replies in English, and Jaebum doesn't get mad at it anymore. "Why?" Jaebum kisses his nape and then he tightens the hug. "I just don't. But I was curious." to this, Jaebum turns him around to face him.

 

"About what?" Mark settles his head on Jaebum's arm and reaches his hand on the latter's cheek. "Your English is good. Your vocabulary is even way better than most English speaking people. I was just so curious why you're so mad whenever you hear me speak in English." Mark states but Jaebum stops what he is doing. He had been rubbing circles on Mark's back.

 

"How did you know that?" Jaebum asks, and then he starts playing with Mark's hair, specifically the back part. (Which feels really nice and makes Mark sleepy.) "I took your term paper on the trash bin, read it too and..." Mark has never told Jaebum about it, not that he's keeping this as a secret; he just hasn’t found the perfect time to tell him.

 

"And?" Jaebum says urging Mark to continue. "And I passed it to your professor. I talked to him about it and what happened." Now that's the reason why even though he didn't really pass his term paper, he still passed that subject. He even got a high grade on it.

 

Jaebum then pushes Mark to his back and leans down to take his lips. He kisses him on the lips and on his cheeks, his jaws, his neck, and his forehead. "Is that all you're curious about?" Jaebum asks after kissing Mark's lips again. The latter smiles up to him as his hands found its way on Jaebum's shoulder.

 

"It's okay, I'm curious about you too." then, Jaebum settles himself above Mark. He's probably crushing him, but he hopes he isn't. "Really? What are you curious about?" Mark replies, pulling him down to him as if erasing his worries.

 

"If I say I love you, would you say you love me too?" Even though he can't see Mark's face in that position, he knows the other is smiling. He can feel it, he's radiating too. "I love you." He whispers, "I love you, Mark."

 

Then he hears a sigh and small giggle. "I love you too." Another giggle. "I love you too, Jaebum."