“If I die today, will you still love me tomorrow?”

Wonwoo was starting to really despise those stupid movies, the ones Soonyoung kept making him watch every weekend. The weekends where the elder would drag Wonwoo to the couch and press their bodies against one another and place a perfectly balanced bowl of popcorn between them. Wonwoo still doesn’t know how he does it but he does know that if he moves even a muscle, Soonyoung would start to whine.

Those stupid movies that Soonyoung loved always had this kind of scene but in a different color scheme. Reality had pink flowers and blue skies, a fresh green field and figures clad in black. Fiction had figures clad in black too but they also had grey skies and rainy mornings. They made it look like the whole world was in mourn. But in this moment, Wonwoo felt like the only one in tears.

“Of course I would still love you, stupid.”

Wonwoo didn’t want to look like a wuss, didn’t want to seem weak during this unplanned reunion of high school friends. So he didn’t talk, minimized his vocabulary to ‘hello’s and ‘thank you’s because he knows fully well that his shaky voice could give him away. He nodded to show false interests when his peers discussed all the changes that happened in the past (how many?) years.

     When everyone left, Wonwoo waved graciously then sat on the kitchen counter, trying to relive his days with Soonyoung.

The dancer had always claimed that he can’t cook but still made the best lasagna Wonwoo has ever tasted. Soonyoung had always let his hips sway as he chops up vegetables and even now, Wonwoo still doesn’t know if he did that on purpose. As Soonyoung waits for it to cook, he gives Wonwoo a sassy comment about how the younger would probably leave a imprint on his glossy kitchen counter. To which Wonwoo would laugh and press a delicate kiss on the dancer’s nose, grinning after.

The music then starts, Wonwoo jumps and sweeps Soonyoung in his arm. Wordlessly, they let the melodies fill up the silence of the room as they dance in the stove light.

It was starting to hurt again.

He walked away from the kitchen, merely glancing at the couch before going to bed, Soonyoung’s pillow tight in his grasp. It still smelled like him. Like a kind morning after summer nights. Wonwoo wondered how he’s supposed to wake up without Soonyoung’s kisses.

Groaning, he turned away from Soonyoung’s side of the bed. His eyes fell upon the bathroom door.

Soonyoung’s safe place.

Whenever they had their petty little arguments, the dancer would always lock himself in there, leaving Wonwoo to console his crying lover through the door.

No good, Wonwoo thought. There’s too much of him. Gritting his teeth, Wonwoo closed his eyes.

Hopefully, when he wakes up, Soonyoung will kiss him again and say good morning like he always does.

this is a trainwreck :'
my life hurts
i hope you all look forward to parts two and three yay