"You're not just killing yourself.
 

...You're killing those people, too."

It's half past six in the morning, and Jongin has been awake for twenty-six hours straight now. His body wanted to rest, but his mind won't let him do so. He has been replaying the same lines in his mind for hours now, and he can't explain the massive imprint it has left on his now damaged perspective on death.

Death.

Everything that has happened last night seemed surreal; almost being superficial. He did not know until then that he was capable of doing such thing: of actually attempting to end his life.

His plan was well-thought of; it was easy. Count to three, then jump. Done. As easy as that. It could have happened so fast, if not for the woman who has shamelessly intruded his could have been properly executed plan.

Damn her, he thought.

Damn her for making everything so difficult.

Thirty minutes of silent pondering and Jongin has finally decided to get up. He stood in front of the mirror just beside his closet, and he could not have been more surprised.

Dark circles were found surrounding his once, breathtaking eyes. His once pink, healthy lips, are now just a few shades shy of being white. He touched his cheeks briefly, and he could not deny the weight he has lost since he started feeling like .

His once, camera-perfect face and body could now easily pass for someone who has been damaged by an uncurable sickness for years.

Turns out not even the most expensive make-up could hide the blemishes in someone's soul.

He smirked at the thought.

He showered for a couple of minutes, changing into his clean, comfortable clothes afterwards. He went to get his gray hoodie when an aqua blue note fell on the floor.

He lowered himself to pick it up, his legs hurting a little. And that's when everything became so vivid.

The woman from last night left immediately after intruding his personal space, very instantly that she has barely noticed her personal note dropping from her slightly oversized coat. 

He remembered picking it up and putting it inside in his pocket, the very reason why it's found on his bedroom floor.

He had a slight mental battle whether he should open it or not, but decided that it will be just fine. She had the nerve to invade his personal life last night, and he thought this might as well be the least possible revenge he could have on her for ruining such a plan.

His eyes scanned through three long paragraphs, his eyes wandering. He could not believe the words etched on the very paper he was holding. He took his time internalizing what he just read, before noticing the name and signature of the author of the note a few inches below, with a slight smudge of the blank ink she used, one clear evidence of her tears.

His skin turned ice-cold when his gaze finally darted on her name.

Kang Seulgi.

Seulgi.

Bloody hell, he thought.

*****

Rehearsals at SM Entertainment usually end late at night, most of the time lasting until 3 AM, especially if a certain group is preparing for a comeback. Training and being in the same company for years, Jongin has grown accustomed to some of the groups in his company's practice schedules.

For some reason, he knew that Red Velvet is currently preparing for another comeback scheduled next month. He arrived at the familiar building at 2 AM, heading straight to the practice room. His timing was undeniably perfect, for the group's rehearsals just ended. 

He overheard their manager instructing them to head home straight, so he might as well take his chance now. He waited impatiently for the other members to leave. Fortunately, Seulgi was the last person to fix and gather her things together. He wasn't sure if this group follows a certain order, because he barely does that with s, or she was just the slowest among them to move (Is she that exhausted?). He heard Wendy screamed "Hurry!" at Seulgi before making her way across the hall. He waited until he was not able to see the last trace of Wendy's figure before making his way inside the parctice room.

She was fixing her hair into a high, tight, knot, with her back facing him. She briefly adjusted her shirt, which was slightly lifted on her back when she raised her arms to fix her hair, revealing some of her skin. Jongin's jaw was locked, not sure on when to speak. He was gathering all the courage he had left when Seulgi abruptly turned to leave.

Their eyes met.

Seulgi's mouth was open in shock, not knowing how to respond. Just how would you react if someone suddenly barges in the room you're in without prior notice, especially when you barely even know each other, and the only interactions you have were mere greetings in the hallways?

"Jongin-ssi." Seulgi muttered weakly, eyes still stunned, attempting a very awkward bow.

Jongin bowed briefly in return, moving a few steps closer, eyes still not leaving Seulgi's.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" Seulgi inquired, unsure of what to say.

"More like, what were you doing there?" Jongin inquired back, emphasizing the words "were" and "you".

"I-I don't understand." Seulgi stuttered while regaining her composure.

Jongin made a playful grin, exhaling the breath of nervosity he kept to himself for a minute or two before speaking once more.

"Apparently, it wasn't just me who needs saving."

He caught a sudden change in her gaze the moment those words left his lips and that only meant one thing:

Bull's eye. 

"Bull."

Jongin was caught off guard by the sudden escape of an unpleasant word from Seulgi's lips. This only triggered him to press even more.

"Think about that. Headlines, articles everywhere. EXO's Kai and Red Velvet's Seulgi found dead. Bodies found next to each other. Cause of death: Suicide. Detectives Hypothesis: Jumped off the bulding together. Netizens hypothesis: Must be dating, can't handle dating scandal pressure, led to depression. Wouldn't that be grand? We'd be topping newspapers and searches like hell. SM Entertainment would go down. Damn, Soo Man must be ed by then. God, that must have been epic." He finished with a little laugh before fixing his stare back at her.

"You think that's funny, huh? Besides, who told you that I was planning to jump there, too? You don't have any solid evidence to show. You must be grateful, at the very least. If not for me, you would be nothing but a lifeless body now." Seulgi can't help but be angered by his choice of words.

"Evidence, you say?" Jongin paused briefly, rummaging through his pocket, retrieving the aqua blue note, showing it to her. "Until now, I am not quite sure if you did this on purpose, but well, suicidal people would have left some kind of note somewhere logical, like somewhere it could have been read by people who cared for them. And for your case, it's on the same place I'm in. Just a few feet away from your supposed death spot."

Seulgi's reflexes were fast, but Jongin's was undeniably faster. She wasn't able to grab her note. Jongin smirked a little and playfully asked, "Hmm, what would your members say? Just a few weeks before your comeback, and there you have a suicidal girl right here? More like, do they even know?"

"They don't. And you won't speak a thing about last night."

"Woah, stop right there."

Seulgi raised her left eyebrow in inquiry.

"You really think this mouth would just shut up without asking of something in return?"

"I thought saving you was more than enough." she replied with the thickest tone of sarcasm, her head shaking in disbelief.

"Well, I'm just gonna ask for a little favor. Don't worry, it isn't too much." Jongin offered a smile, but was greeted back by an expressionless Seulgi.
Seulgi pondered a bit, weighing the pros and cons of her possible decision. She's left with no choice, so she just nodded in agreement.

"Good. I just wanted you to do something easy for me just for a little while."

"Just say it." Seulgi replied impatiently.

"Look after me. Make sure I don't die like that." Jongin's eyes were full of sincerity despite his nonchalant attitude.

"And what do I get in return?" Seulgi asked, arms crossed.

Jongin thought for a moment before answering back.

"Aside from keeping your little scene a secret for life, since you're doing me a pretty good favor...I might as well look after you, too."

*********

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