Hoseok hated farewells more than most people. Even if it were for something trivial like a friend changing classes because of a ty teacher. But there was a reason to this. His rational reason for why he hated farewells so much was due to the fear of people moving on, and leaving him behind in his misery. And maybe this was a little dramatic and trivial for a guy nicknamed the smiling angel but events such as these did make Hoseok feel emotions such as resentment. Then again, he always felt resentful. Of many things. Although it never appeared at the surface, his resentment was ever-present, a river barricaded by flimsy gates and it bubbled away, pushing at the barriers, in hope of crushing them and submerging his world in bitterness.

However, his world was never flooded. Even though Hoseok thought it would. Hell, he had basically fantasied about it  - day in and day out, about what would happen once he loosened his control of sanity: the people he would hurt, the people he would disappoint, and the people who’d be disgusted by his hideous self. At times where he felt the  presence of a void in his heart, Hoseok would entertain himself with their ‘reactions’, all while possessing the knowledge that such happenings were not possible. For he was a coward.

Now, normally when one hears the word coward, they would associate it with someone who spent their days hiding in the recesses of shadows, wary of any movement from the hostile, external world. Hoseok was the polar opposite. He was nothing like that. If anything, Hoseok would characterize himself as a charismatic figure, a person who got along well with everyone and anyone. No one disliked him since he was a clown, a trickster. Also known as the one guy who provoked uproarious laughter by making self-depreciating jokes.

Yet, Hoseok didn't find any of it funny, he never did. He didn't laugh either. There were no light-hearted giggles to erupt from his throat, and travel down to shake his sides until tears streamed from his eyes. Once, a long time ago, there was. Just not anymore. Presently, only a forced chuckle could be heard from his mouth, whose lonely echoes permeated through the isolated cell of his mind. And nobody noticed the musical chimes fading in his voice, and even if they did, Hoseok was convinced that not a single person cared.

Until Kim Taehyung came. 

Okay, so J-hope just having issues is an understatement.