Letting Go

“Don’t,” I can feel the pain in his voice, it’s radiating off him. All I can do was look away because after all, it’s the first thing to do when you know you’re never coming back. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say it twice.” Or maybe you will come back but the thing is, just like what everyone says, change is the only constant thing in the world… everything won’t be the same anymore.

“Mark…”

Even though I’m not exactly looking at him, I know he already turned his back on me. “Don’t,” I can’t do this. This is just too much. “I’m okay.” I’m crying now which is funny because I shouldn’t be the one crying. I chose this. There’s no turning back.

“Are you…sure?”

“I’m always sure.”

“Right.” I tried wiping my tears but they just keep on falling.

“Wendy…”

“Yeah?”

Suddenly I’m enveloped into a hug. That familiar hug that I will always long for. The hug that I never have ever again after this day. “I’ll miss you.” His cracking voice is enough to make me cry harder. “Don’t cry, please.” He’s my hair now and this, for sure, is just one of the many things that I will miss about him. “Please don’t cry.” He pulled away just to wipe my tear-streaked face.

“I can’t stop.”

“But—”

“Yeah. I… I know. I finally have my decision. And this time it won’t ever change.”

“Stop crying.” He said.

“How?”

“I don’t know.”

“Maybe… maybe you should go.”

He looked away and he didn’t even say anything. After all these years, I never thought about being away with him. But maybe you will always end up doing things that will make you sad and regret at first but will make you a better person in the future. “Maybe.” And I’m not saying that not being with him will make an awesome person one day… I’m just saying that there are things that you will learn from one person alone. And I can keep on learning from him, and with him, but maybe we’re just really supposed to take different paths.

“Go now.”

“Stop saying that.”

“Come on,” I tried smiling but maybe I’m failing miserably because I can still feel his pain mixing with mine, “Just go.”

“Why? Are you going to come with me just in case I stay for another day here?”

“Who knows?” And what’s even weirder is that he’s the one who’s talking—a rare seen indeed. “But seriously, Mark, you should go.”

“Right. Okay.”

“Go now.”

He looks like he’s about to say something and… I just don’t want to hear it. I know I’ll be crying for the next days and I don’t want more reasons to cry. “Wendy…”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know…” but he grabbed my hand and hold on to it so tightly, “I just…”

“You just…?”

“I just want to tell you that I’ll be waiting for your debut. I’ll be waiting for your concerts in LA with your future group and you can expect me on the front row. I told you, right? That I will always be your fan…”

“Of course.”

“Don’t you dare forget that.”

“I won’t.” I won’t. I know I won’t. “Gosh, Mark… you’re still here and I’m already missing you.”

“I will miss you, Wendy.” He kissed my forehead and I know I will always try to remember the feeling of his lips against my skin. His scent that I surely love will always be at the back of my head and when I smell the same thing, I will remember him. A lot of things about him.

Time will pass and my memories about the past will only last for so long because I have to make new memories. And things won’t ever be the same again but sometimes decisions are made for a reason. It’s not that dreams are bigger than love, it’s just that there are things that you really have to let go in order for you to be able to take over the new things. But I know… I know that at the back of head, I will always remember this boy who made me feel like no other. He’s the only one.

“Bye.”

“Yeah.” He finally, finally walked away.

After few minutes, my phone beeped. I know who it is from even though I already deleted his contact information. And as I lay in my bed, I keep on repeating the words flashed in my phone.

Maybe one day I will meet someone who’s a whole lot better than him, someone that I will love more than I did to him. But like I said, I will always remember him. Always.

“Good luck, Wendy. I know you’ll do great. We’ll be waiting for you here. And I just want to remind you that I will always, always miss you.”

xxx

(obviously inspired by DAY6's Letting Go so​ if you haven't listened to that song yet, you better check it out... and check the whole album out)
So I'm not really planning to write this but too much feels you know? And I'm still tired because of GOT7 (asc + the show + sukira)... but here I am! And I was really supposed to write a short fic about Gabrielle Aplin's Home for someone (I hope you're reading this! ><) but I just can't think of a good plot so I'll just explain it to you here why I always think of MarkDy whenever I listen to that song. It's hard to explain it through LINE because I use a lot of words when I explain something so...

:::Both Mark & Wendy are from different countries and they're far away from home but you will notice that there's a part in the song (chorus) that's like.. because they say home is where your heart is set in stone, it's where you go to rest your bones... it's not just where you lay your head, it's not just where you make your bed.. as long as we're together does it matter where we go? So MarkDy's solid ground are each other. They are each other's home. As long as they're together, does it matter where they go? Just like the famous quote: "Home has a heartbeat". So there.. :):::

And I'm not entirely satisfied with this one, it also lacks in emotion. I'll try to make another one!