Too Much

“You know what they say?”

“What?”

“Too much of everything is too much.”

“That’s according to All Time Low!”

“They aren’t wrong, though.”

People had been calling him stupid but really, sometimes you just love someone so much that even though you know that they had been lying to your face you just endure and wait for them to tell you the truth. Not because he’s a ing saint but because he just want to understand. He’s not even trying to seek for some apology after all this madness… he just wanted to know the truth. And the reason behind the truth.

It . It big time, of course. He never really wanted her in the first place. He was all too busy sending applications to different universities and passing his exams but there she is, she shoved herself to him and literally took over his life. That was two years ago. When everything seems fine and promising and crazy at the same time.

Now it’s just sad and lonely and ed up.

Insanity at its finest.

“Why don’t you tell her?”

“I’ll wait for her to tell me.”

“Bro,” Jackson patted Mark on his back, “I know you’re not the brightest kid in class during our high school days but you’ve been a ing awesome human being in college and your professors adore you, you’ve aced your exams, taking more subjects than expected and passing ‘em all…” Mark’s brows furrowed, sometimes he might have to teach Jackson how to shut the up, “And you’re being crazy over this girl.”

“She’s cheating, alright,” he breathed hard… as if he’s trying to expel all the air in his body, “And I would be lying if I say that I don’t give a damn when I ing do. But,” he thought about the beautiful things that they had shared, as cheesy as it sounds, “But I want her to tell me why. Not by confronting her. Not by forcing her. I just want her to do it in her own phase.”

“You know what I don’t understand about Psychology majors?”

“What?”

“They’re crazier than their future patients.”

Jackson knows Mark from the tip of his hair down to his soul but at that moment, he wasn’t sure who the person in front of him is. He seems out of it. Mark could be drinking iced tea while sitting prettily in his iron throne while the world breaks down in his face. He had always been the collected one, the one who knows what to do but maybe people really change when they fall in love.

--

Things had been so ty but he never expected things to be so ty. Now she’s right in front of him with the guy she’s cheating with. Of all the times that he could’ve seen them, why now?

“You should talk to him.” The guy whispered to Wendy’s ear before leaving. Mark never wanted to make someone kiss the ing floor except that moment.

Wendy had never been so nervous in her whole life. Maybe except now. “Can we sit?” Mark asked. His voice’s stern. Just like the first time she met him.

She just followed him silently and prayed for the best. But who is she to pray for the best when she knows for a fact that she did the worst?

He took a sip of his favorite iced tea before actually looking at her. He didn’t say anything. It’s not like he always speak. But right now, his silence made her feel the chill down to her spine. “I’m sorry.” She muttered. “I really am.”

Wendy fanned herself with her hands. “I’m really, really sorry.” Things could’ve been worse if Mark is the kind of person who’s aggressive and can’t seem to control his self. But she could’ve been thankful if that’s the case. At least she’s not experiencing the silence that will make someone feel worse twice as much. “It just… happened.” But it didn’t just happen and she knows it. She’s just too afraid to tell the truth. Sometimes people lie because that’s the easiest thing to do.

“You know what?” He finally spoke. But his voice is cold and harsh and she can feel every pause cutting her skin, “I don’t need an apology.”

“What is it that you want me to do?”

“Don’t worry,” he looked away, “I won’t ask you to cut it off with him.”

“Then…?”

“Just tell me the truth.”

“You’re not going to hurt me?” she asked dumbly.

“You already hurt me, how am I supposed to hurt you?” the guilt is just too much to handle she just wants to run away.

“I was envious, okay?”

“What?”

“You’ve been achieving so much, you know what you like, you have a great mentor, great friends, your goal is already set and here I am, a piece of trash in your perfe—”

“But I have you.” He fake a cough realizing what he just said, “I had you.”

“But…”

“You’re the valedictorian in our batch, you can go to any school you wanted, be anyone you like and you’re envious of a person who failed his English class twice?”

“But that was before!”

“Then tell me what is now.”

“I don’t know what I want, I could be the smartest kid in my class and yet I only do things just because I can. I don’t know what it’s like to have so much passion over something.”

“You should’ve told me.”

“But I couldn’t,” she looked away, “And then there’s… him. He understands me.”

“And you think I wouldn’t?”

“Mark…” she tried reaching out for his hands but he moved it away before she can hold him.

“You could’ve talked to me.”

“But you’re doing so well in everything at the moment. I don’t want to ruin you.”

He looked at her with so much disappointment in his eyes. “You already did.”

“Mark…”

“I would’ve listened to you.”

“Please…”

“I would’ve tried to understand you the way I’m trying to understand you right now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t need your apology.”

“I’m really, really sorry.”

“You know what my professor said?” she just looked at her dumbly, again, but her eyes are filled with tears that she couldn’t see him clearly. “Sometimes, even when you don’t want to understand people, you have to. Even when you can’t and it’s the hardest thing to do. Apologies are not even necessary.”

“Mark…”

“What’s his name again?”

“J…jinyoung.”

“Have a great life with Jinyoung.” And then he left her inside the coffee shop that they once called theirs. He will never come back to that place again.

Wendy is beautiful and even though she did things to him, she will always be beautiful in his eyes. But sometimes beautiful things can hurt you, too. And all that’s left for you to do is to forget about them.

xxx

Okay so this is one of my faves. I really like s like this one lmao. I guess it's my genre.
I'm still a little too stressed about school and I only wrote this because, like always, I need to chill for a while and writing had always been my saving grace so