I’ve always hated the rain…
Every time it rains…
Never hadn’t I shed tears…

In the midst of the cold night, covered by rain, a girl stood covered in blood. Not hers, but others. In front of her, lies 3 bodies covered in bruises and blood. Not dead, just a loss of consciousness. The girl grins devilishly. Bruises and some scars on her body, she doesn’t feel it anymore. The people who gather around her to watch the fight was in awe at the sight of a girl beat up three large men.

“It’s your fault for not apologize to me.” She mumbles to herself

Ignoring the groups of people, she turns back and makes her way through the crowd. Not long after that, a police’s siren is heard from afar. She doesn’t worry about being chased since she’s already far away from the scene. Already feeling safe, she sits on a bench in some unfamiliar park ignoring the rain that drenches her wet. The cold rain drops that wash her body makes her finally felt the bruises and scars. Some of it isn’t new. She opens the leather jacket she uses and opens the bandage that covers her hand.

“Damn…it’s swelling.” She curses

She lifts her head and look up at the dark sky. Tears dropping and blend with the rain. Why does she cry? What’s behind those tears? She wipes the tears and takes a deep breath. Why is she sitting here in the middle of the rain? Does she like it? No, she never likes the rain. In fact, she hates it the most. Every rainy day, she’d always shed tears. There’s never a rainy day without her shading tears.

What has made her like this? Hatred? Revenge? No, none of them are right. Only one thing that has made her like this. It’s LOVE. But not because she receives many love, but loveless. Born in a well-known family, she’s demanded to dedicate her life for the family and must make a very bright path. All her life until now, she always demanded to be a perfect girl. She does what they say but as she tries to impress them, they would never have enough. Every single award, medals, or nice score she gets, never there’s a onetime they praise her because they always thought that a girl can never be the successor of the family. But the girl was so innocent and thought that if she did more then they’ll be pleased. She never stopped trying until everything suddenly changed. At her 15, on that rainy day, her brother was born and was pointed as the successor of the family right at that time. Right then, she felt that the world was unfair. After all of her effort to get here, now was all in vain just because of her brother’s existence in this world. Why? Why must she deserve that? She was in rage and almost killed her newborn little brother. Because of that, she was kicked out from the household and live as an outcast and a garbage of the family even though she still get funded by the family. But she never notice it herself or rather, she doesn’t want to admit the reason why she became like this.

Being betrayed and left out alone, she doesn’t know where she must go. She has an apartment of her own but she doesn’t know what to do there. She has school to attend but always slack class because she doesn’t know for what she does it. Besides, she always hated by the other student since she often involved in a gang fight. Why does she do it? Because if she doesn’t, her head will blow out. It’s her only way to keep her existence in the world. Sometimes she thought to herself for what she live if she had nothing more to fight for. Maybe it’s better if she never existed in this world.

With her body still in pain, she put on her leather jacket again and walks to her apartment which is just a few minutes away. Tired and fatigued, she throws herself to the bed right after arriving at her apartment letting the bed wet with her drenched clothes. She doesn’t care about anything anymore now. She shuts her eyes and drift into sleep. Who knows will she be going to school tomorrow, or gets in a gang fight again?

The rain will never stop…
Sunrays will never shine this dark place…
Eternal darkness covers me…
But still I sometimes wish for a small light to shine this cold prison…

The alarm on her bed’s left desk rings endlessly disturbing her peaceful time in the dream land. How she would wish to sleep forever so that she wouldn’t have to live this rotten life of hers. With eyes still half shut, she hits that alarm causing it to stop ringing. The time shows 6:30 am. Gathering her strength, she lifts her body from the bed and yawn. She grabs a towel from her cupboard and goes in the bathroom to take a shower. Undressing, she observes the bruises that are still left there from the fight last night and old scars. It’s not usual and un-normal for a girl to have that much wound on her body. She smiles vainly looking at it and just goes straight into bath.

After finishing her bath, she dresses up and goes to school. What for? There’s nothing she must study about? Even though she often slack classes, her grade is worth to be amazed of. Many of the students want to approach her but she always put on a wall. She doesn’t want to be betrayed again. She arrives at school and put down her bag on her seat. The students look at her with a really cold look. She ignores them. She’s accustomed to those eyes.

Not long after that, the bell rings and the teacher get in the class. He was first shocked by the girl’s attendance but still try to keep his coolness. Ignoring his surprise, he then announce to the students, “Everyone, I have a good news for you. We’ll have a new student here.” The students exclaimed in happiness except for the girl. She stays still and doesn’t care about that silly announcement.

“Please come in.” The teacher order to someone outside the class

Entering the class was a rather short girl with brunette hair. She’s rather beautiful in the girl’s opinion. The girl still hasn’t use the school’s uniform yet and still uses her old ones.

“Okay everyone, please calm down. She’s Kim TaeYeon and she just moved from Busan to Seoul. Everyone, please be nice to her.” The teacher explained

“Anyeonghaseo everyone, I’m Kim TaeYeon, you can just call me TaeYeon. Nice to meet you and please be nice to me.” TaeYeon introduce herself

“Okay now, your seat is…” He browses for an available seat “Oh, unfortunately only the seat beside Tiffany is available. You can sit there.” He said to TaeYeon

Unfortunately? A very nice way to treat your student, the girl or Tiffany thought. TaeYeon walk through the students’ seat and reach the seat beside Tiffany. She pulls out the chair and put her bag then sits on it. She looks at Tiffany and smiles, “Hi there, nice to meet you umm….Tipany?” She said hesitantly

“It’s ‘F’ not ‘P’.” Tiffany reply coldly

“Oh, sorry, my bad.” She puts a hand on

“Okay class, we’ll start the lesson now.” The teacher exclaimed

Class starts and there Tiffany is, being at class, learning for nothing. Sometimes, because of her no reason to study, she would fall asleep and she does it now. TaeYeon who was confused told the teacher about Tiffany but the teacher said to just ignore her. She does like her teacher said and ignore her. But she still doesn’t get it why the teacher doesn’t wake her up. Ignoring her curiousness, she stays to the lesson.

After finally the break’s bell rings, everyone marches to TaeYeon seat and ask several questions to her. It’s a usual thing since she’s a transfer student but it disturb Tiffany’s sleeping time. She wakes up and grunts which make the students around TaeYeon suddenly freeze in silence. Tiffany gives a glare to all of them which send chill down through their spines. She lifts her body and left the class. TaeYeon was left confused.

“What’s wrong with her?” TaeYeon asks

“Oh, she’s just like that. 2 years ago she wasn’t like this. Now, she often slack class and get into a gang fight. Oh, be careful with her, she’s temperamental. If you do anything that’ll makes her mad, you won’t survive.” Explain one of the students

“Yeah, and yesterday, she almost killed 3 people. I see her beating up 3 large men all by herself. She’s so scary.” Exclaim the other student

“Hmm….” TaeYeon respond

On the other side, Tiffany is laying on the rooftop enjoying the breeze that swept her face. She raise her hand like attempting to grab the sky and watch her hand as it move through the thin air, grabbing nothing. Her eyesight is empty, her mind is empty, her heart is empty too. An empty existence indeed.

“I think there won’t be rain tonight…” She said to herself

“Yeah, the sky is so clear.” A voice come and forces Tiffany to look for the source of the voice “So you’re here. Say, I…I’m sorry that the other kids disturb your nap time. They don’t mean t-“

“Leave!” Tiffany demanded, cutting TaeYeon’s word

“Oh….sorry.” TaeYeon feeling guilty “I disturb you again didn’t I? Sorry….then…I’ll be leaving.” TaeYeon bowed and leave Tiffany alone

Tiffany is feeling rather guilty to shout at someone she just knew. Why? She was never like this. She always does and act all she wants to but why is she feeling guilty to shout at TaeYeon now? She shrugs her head and lay there again.

What’s this inside me?
What’s this aching feeling?
Who…are you?

Days passed by, don’t know why, Tiffany’s feet would always bring her to school. It all happened since she met that transfer student, TaeYeon. TaeYeon has become loved by her classmate and that’s the reason why Tiffany now often goes to school. She’s interested in her or rather, maybe hates the fact that TaeYeon can blends easily with the others. Seeing it makes her remember of something that she really hates. She feels like she wants to ruin the smile on TaeYeon’s face.

Then one day, on a rainy day that Tiffany really hates, class is going on as usual. It was English and the teacher chooses TaeYeon and Tiffany to read a dialog from the textbook. With a sigh, Tiffany just follows the teacher’s order and read the dialog with TaeYeon. Suprisingly, the two reads it well and accept praise from the teacher. But, the students’ praise are all only for TaeYeon. TaeYeon just smiles and said, “No no, Tiffany is better. She deserves all of your praises.” And look at Tiffany with a smile. But Tiffany doesn’t feel the same. What is it that she felt? Why’s she so disturb being cared by TaeYeon.

“Liar…” she mumbles to herself

“Excuse me?” TaeYeon heard it a little

Tiffany suddenly runs away from the class causing a ruckus between the student and confusion in TaeYeon. Feeling somewhat guilty and curious of Tiffany’s word, TaeYeon chase Tiffany ignoring the class. The class gets noisier but with a word of the Teacher, they become calm again and proceed with the lesson.

“Wait! Tiffany!” TaeYeon chase her

Tiffany ignores TaeYeon and speed up, leaving TaeYeon in a large distance. TaeYeon in the other hand is losing breath and exhausted. But her will tells her to keep running. Run and run and they reach the school’s rooftop. It was raining hard at that time and the floor is slippery. Tiffany who is in full speed accidently trip is going to fall over the floor until TaeYeon jumps catching up and hold her and prevent her from a crash with the floor.

“Gotcha! Phew, that was close.” TaeYeon says while still grabbing Tiffany’s hand

“Let go of me!” Tiffany pulls her hand away frm TaeYeon “Why…Why are you chasing me? What do you want from me?”

“Nothing. I just want to ask why you are running away from class.”

“What does it have to do with you? It’s my own business. Are you trying to be the idol of the class by bringing me back? Are you trying to be some kind of a hero?!” Tiffany suddenly in rage

“I-I don’t mean to-“

“I hate you!” Tiffany suddenly said with tears that blends with the rain in her eyes

The sight makes TaeYeon very surprised. But she knows. She knows what drives Tiffany like this which Tiffany doesn’t know for herself. Innocently, she said it, “Are you perhaps…jealous of me?” Tiffany is speechless. That word that Tiffany doesn’t want to admit… “I’m right, am I not?” TaeYeon asks again

“I….” Tiffany thinks twice about her feelings again. Maybe TaeYeon was right. Maybe, she is jealous that TaeYeon gets all of that attention in a sudden and that she reminds her of her newborn little brother. She admits lose and buries her face in the shorter girl’s shoulder in tears. TaeYeon pulls her into a deep hug. “I’m sorry…” Tiffany said

“It’s okay. Can you tell me the reason behind it later?”

Tiffany answers with a nod

“Okay then. Come, we’ll get cold if we stay in the rain like this.”

The two goes back into the school building and to the changing room to dry themselves. Tiffany is still speechless. She gets shock knowing her true feelings all of this time. Yes, she actually only wants to get attention from others. But since her pain is greater and hatred fills her, it gets in her way to come back to the right track. If she notice it sooner maybe all of this won’t happen.

“So, how’re you feeling now?” TaeYeon asks breaking the silence

“Confused…” Tiffany answer shortly

“Maybe you can tell me your reason so I can help you out.”

Tiffany was hesitant. But then, maybe TaeYeon can help her to get out of that darkness. Tiffany prepares her heart and then tells TaeYeon about the whole story of herself. The reasons why she had become like this…

“That’s…sad…” TaeYeon said surprised

“Yeah… Ever since then I’ve always wonder…Why was I born? What is my purpose of living? And is there still anyone that needs me?” Tiffany paused “I’m sorry that I release my anger on you TaeYeon.”

“It’s okay. I understand your feelings.” TaeYeon smiles

“Thanks… but still… what am I going to do now? My family doesn’t need me…and I don’t have friends…no one wants to be with me…”

“That’s not right Tiffany. The other students want to be your friends but you put on a wall so they are scared to approach you.”

“Is that true?”

“Yes. Why don’t you try to blend with others like me?”

“But…I can’t.”

“You can! I’ll help you…from now on, I’ll help you out anytime when you need me. Don’t be hesitant to tell me if you have problems. I’ll be there to listen to you. Okay?”

“Why’re you doing this?” Tiffany is confused

“Because that’s what friends are for. Besides…from the start, I’ve always want to be your friend. You’re smart and strong. Even though you avoid me and everyone said bad rumors about you, you never do anything to harm me.”

Tiffany is left speechless. All this time, she has always search for someone like TaeYeon. Perhaps, she does really need her to comfort her. She feels relieve to know that there’s still someone who likes her.

“Let’s go back to class, everyone must be worried.” TaeYeon lends her hand

Tiffany welcomes it with a smile and grabs that hand. It feels so warm and soft. She feels lucky that she met TaeYeon.

The rain has stopped…
A small ray of light enters the eternal darkness…
Slowly but surely…
The darkness and the rain vanished by the small strong ray of light…