To be loyal and faithful p.1

The Code of Chilvary

Jackson slumped into bed, pulling up the covers only for a few moments before kicking them aside with a huff. It was getting too warm as the heat was really reaching its nigh with the summer solstice looming around the corner. Rolling unto his back, he held his breath and stretched his arms and legs as far as they’d go before releasing all tension with a loud sigh. He didn’t have to worry about waking others up, not when he had been given a room to himself.

He glanced around, noting the small table, closet and washstand that he had to himself just because he was a visitor to this kingdom. They treated visitors well, really well. It was really different to the guard’s quarters he usually slept in – a group of four men in four beds squeezed into a room with just enough space to give them the illusion of personal boundaries. It was much better than a squire’s quarters that he grew up of course. To have a room of his own gave Jackson an odd sense of place and he should be happy and enjoy it while he could. And he tried. Sometimes he was happy but in the dead of night when he found it difficult to sleep, his mind would drift across the many, many fields, streams and forests to the kingdom he belonged to. At times, he wishes he was home. However, whenever thoughts like that cropped up, he’d chastise himself. He had been given a great chance to prove himself and bring honour to his kingdom so he should shut up and give his all to the task given to him.

Still, said a small voice at the back of Jackson’s mind, there was no denying he missed home.

It wasn’t that he felt uncomfortable in this kingdom. Jaebum in particular had gone out of his way to make sure Jackson was comfortable and had everything he needed. The other guards were also welcoming and quick to make friends with Jackson. Plus, it was a different place after all with different ways of life which Jackson did find interesting to learn about. It wasn’t only everyday objects that interested him but also the history of things. For example, he loved learning the history of the horses used for training such as when they were born, what they’ve been through, their little quirks. It all felt like he was making connections in an unfamiliar place so it would seem less strange.  There was bird watching as well and although Jackson hadn’t met anyone who shared the same fascination for the feathered creatures that he had, he still stored information about the birds he saw so that he could tell his prince all about them later.

His prince.

His prince was probably the main reason why he would sometimes gaze off into the distance, always to the west. Jackson had expected to miss being his prince’s guard but not to this extent. He would find himself wondering if his prince had taken his meals or whether he was holed up in his study with a newly procured book. He would imagine his prince going about his daily routine that would have returned to normalcy now that there were no longer visitors to take care off. How would he look? Would he be smiling or serious? A part of Jackson liked to fancy that his prince would probably be smiling less without him around but that would be an extremely selfish thought. He was no more and no less just a friend to his prince. A friend. Who would have taken over Jackson’s duties? He was gone for a long time so maybe they chose someone to replace him. There’ll always be others. There would be others to make his prince smile. Was that what troubled him?

Sighing again, Jackson rolled to his side and after more tossing and turning, he fell asleep.

And so day after day Jackson’s routine stayed the same. He would wake up, get ready, head down to the mess hall for breakfast with the other guards and then proceed to training for the rest of the day until sundown. He would like to think that he was a quick learner, Jaebum already acknowledging that Jackson was getting very skilful at using the parrying sword. Jackson was working extremely hard so that him being selected for the task would not disappoint anyone. Just like that, a couple of months went by and the season crept towards autumn with its copper-toned foliage and earlier sunsets reminding everyone that winter was on the way. Shorter daylight meant shorter training times which also meant that Jackson had more free time on his hands, time that he mostly spent with the other guards, swapping stories and dreams about the future, or, occasionally, he would spend it alone, birdwatching or wrapped up in his thoughts.

It was during one of these solitary escapades that Jaebum found Jackson at the stables along the edge of the training grounds. Jaebum had wanted to invite Jackson to his family home out in the country where he would be spending the weekend. He searched high and low for the visiting guard until a giggling and blushing maid told him that she had spotted Jackson by the stables.

“Jackson!” called Jaebum as he neared the trough that Jackson was leaning against, ankles crossed but hands preoccupied with a stalk of wheat which Jackson seemed to have been absentmindedly picking at.

“Oh, Jaebum,” Jackson greeted with a quick smile and wave of his hand when he recognised who it was.

“What are you doing out here all by yourself?” Jaebum was quick to notice that Jackson’s smile had faded and the mood was noticeably heavier.

“Just…” was all Jackson said, his voice trailing off with a shrug of his shoulders.

“… just?” echoed Jaebum as he also leaned against the trough, mimicking Jackson’s posture.

“Life is funny, isn’t it?” mused Jackson after a lengthy pause, his fingers picking at another grain of wheat to roll it about between his fingers until the kernel’s skin fell off.

“Well, depends on perspective I think. Funny in what sense? Did something happen?” asked Jaebum in a light tone, trying to ease the atmosphere. He wasn’t used to seeing Jackson sombre like this outside of training. When in training, Jaebum admired the utmost seriousness and passion Jackson exuded and it had not been easy as Jaebum was trying to squeeze as much as possible into the months they had to prepare for the tournament. It was credit to Jackson that no matter how hard Jaebum had driven him, Jackson never complained. He’d just clench his jaw and work harder. Outside of training, however, Jaebum had gotten used to Jackson telling his little stories and to hear his distinct high-pitched laugh punctuating conversations in the mess hall. Really, Jackson had adapted so well that Jaebum sometimes forgot that Jackson did not belong to his guard.

When Jackson remained silent as his fingers played with the stalk of wheat idly, during which time Jaebum began to drum his fingers on the wooden trough as he studied their surroundings, Jaebum wondered what put Jackson into this state of mind. “Jackson,” Jaebum tried again, “what’s on your mind? Really?”

Huffing a little, a small smile slipped unto Jackson’s lips from Jaebum’s persistence. “It’s just… it’s funny isn’t it? I mean, it just so happens that I call another kingdom home and you call this one home? It’s almost seems like chance. For all we know, if I had been born here, I would have been a guard here with you and serve Prince Jinyoung instead.” Jackson paused at that before sighing because he was a little embarrassed at voicing such thoughts.

“And… does that make you feel… sad? Relieved? Happy?” asked Jaebum who was also struck by the novelty of Jackson’s train of thought.

“Just… seems strange, really,” said Jackson, looking off at the distant trees through which the last rays of sun blazed deep vermillion. “It got me wondering what life would be like if I hadn’t met Captain Paul, if I hadn’t met-” Just as Jackson was about to mention his prince, he stopped, unable to get the words out because that was too personal a sentiment to share. Not when he himself was unsure of how he felt about the situation. Clearing his throat, Jackson tried to clarify, “I guess what I’m saying is… it’s as if we can be replaced. Someone else would have been a squire in training. Someone else would have been his royal highness’ guard. Someone else would be here talking to you. Someone other than me.”

Jaebum was silent for a while, trying to shift through Jackson’s musings to identify the core reason why the younger guard seemed so unsettled. “Are… are you saying that you don’t matter because it could just be anyone else?”

“Yeah,” said Jackson with a wry laugh at Jaebum’s succinct summary, “somewhat. Something like that.”

“Those are very abstract thoughts, Jackson. I would have never expected it of you,” Jaebum teased as he gave Jackson a light punch on the shoulder.

“You saying I’m not capable of such things, Jaebum?” challenged Jackson playfully, glad for a distraction from his questions.

“I never said you’re not capable,” replied Jaebum with a lopsided grin, “just not expected.” Then he lapsed into silence, mulling over what seemed to be worrying Jackson. After a while and as dusk settled in around them masking everything in shades of grey, Jaebum spoke up. “It never could be anyone else though.”

“Oh?” asked Jackson, shaken out of the deep reverie he had fallen into once again.

“For instance, have you met anyone who is similar to me? With my character? My behaviour? In how I respond to things and situations with my likes and dislikes? Even physically, have you met anyone who looks like me?”

“Well…,” answered Jackson hesitantly, twisting the stalk of wheat around one of his fingers, “… no.”

“And there’s your answer. There isn’t another Jackson. You being you is what makes the life you lived yours. No one else would go through the same experiences you did in the same way. So there is no replacement in that sense. In fact, no one even laughs like you, you know that?”

Jackson answered with the very laughter Jaebum was referring to. “That’s true! No one else can annoy you like I do.”

“Right,” laughed Jaebum. With his eyes disappearing into crescents accompanied by a very board grin, he clapped Jackson on the shoulder. “Want to meet my family? I’d like you to have dinner with us.”

Jackson nodded, his mood already much lighter as what Jaebum told him sank into his understanding. That’s right. There isn’t another Jackson. He was who he was and the thought comforted him. It’s just… Jackson wondered if his prince thought the same.

 

 

The harvest festival was coming and for the first time, Jackson was celebrating it outside his kingdom. Alas, with the harvest festival came a reminder that his prince’s birthday was coming and for the first time since he met his prince, he would not be able to wish the prince happy birthday. Not when he was so far away and could not return until the tournament was held in the coming spring.

Every year, Jackson waited for a chance to wish his prince in person and he always succeeded, sometimes in hilarious situations, but he never ever gave the prince a gift. How could he? He did not have the money to buy anything he deemed worth giving as a present. Neither did he have the skill or craftsmanship to produce anything that could pass off as one worthy of his prince. He did try though. Once, he had tried drawing but that ended horribly because instead of a hawk, the result was an indistinct shape that could only be described as a nondescript bird. Another time, he had tried moulding a small pot that would serve as a place to rest a quill but that did not work out either. It had simple been too rough and uneven to really be called a pot and Jackson certainly shuddered at the thought of it placed on his prince’s desk. Such it was that every year, Jackson tried to think of something that he could do but never did he present his poor attempts to the intended individual. All that was why all Jackson ever did was to wish his prince happy birthday verbally.

But that was impossible this year and it troubled him. He did consider riding all the way back to his kingdom but he knew it was wistful thinking. Even passing messages through a messenger did not seem a good option because it was quite personal. He wanted to wish his prince happy birthday, not through the mouth of others.

It was during one late autumn afternoon that he realised that there was something he could do. Jackson and the guards along with Jaebum were helping with the preparations of the harvest festival that would be celebrated at the end of the season. Jackson leaned back on his spade and surveyed the pit they had dug with satisfaction. It would be the foundation for multiple earth ovens that would be used to bake bread for the festival.

“We finished first,” declared Jackson with a smirk at Jaebum and Sungjin who were just finishing theirs. Wonpil, who had been teamed with Jackson, grinned as well.

“You owe us two pints of beer,” Wonpil added, reminding them of their earlier bet.

Jaebum glared at the two as he stuck his spade into the ground, “Yeah, yeah. At least I still beat you in sparring.”

Jackson bristled, “Hey, the last time I almost had you! Almost!”

“Almost doesn’t matter, Jackson. I still won,” said Jaebum, a contented grin made his cheeks puff up in a manner that reminded Jackson of a well-fed chipmunk. Watching Jaebum preening also did nothing to ease Jackson’s response.

“Well, if I hadn’t-” but Jackson’s rant was cut short when Prince Jinyoung approached the group. The guards bowed immediately, all talk ceasing. Jinyoung had come out to have a look at how preparations were going and also to greet the townsfolk. The mounting excitement leading up to the festival seemed to make everything more enjoyable, more purposeful and altogether more joyous so the prince had not wanted to be cooped up in the castle. Moreover, he had a message to deliver.

“How are the preparations?” asked Prince Jinyoung.

“Very well, your highness,” answered Jaebum, head still ducked in a bow.

It was a little startling for Jinyoung to receive such a formal response with strict posture from Jaebum. He had gotten used to having his guard more relaxed around him ever since they had returned from Mark’s kingdom. It seemed like the barrier between them had disappeared and Jaebum was beginning to interact more with Jinyoung in a manner that Jaebum would never have attempted as his guard. When Jaebum made one or two jokes here and there, it had initially taken Jinyoung by surprise but after months of it, he had grown so accustomed to their banter that to have Jaebum revert back to the formal guard was jarring.

“At ease,” said Jinyoung and the guards relaxed, looking up with polite smiles as they broke their rigid stance. “I am glad to see you helping out. The townsfolk are grateful for it,” continued Jinyoung with an approving smile.

“Thank you, your highness,” the guards chorused.

“Resume your duties,” and with that Jinyoung dismissed the guards and they turned away to go about their business. Jackson had approached Jaebum, still intent on finishing their earlier ‘discussion’ when Jinyoung motioned for Jackson’s attention as he approached where the two friends stood.

 “Yes, Prince Jinyoung?” Jackson asked.

“I have a message for you from Mark. He wishes you well and asks that you take care of yourself.”

Jackson blinked in surprise. “From his royal highness? But how? When? Is he here?!” asked Jackson hurriedly, getting more frantic with each short question. Could his prince really have come? Maybe? Jackson couldn’t go to his prince but there was nothing stopping his prince from coming to this kingdom. Maybe he was returning Prince Jinyoung’s visit out of courtesy. Maybe he’d get to see his prince and wish him happy birthday after all!

Jinyoung watched the wild hope blossoming on Jackson’s countenance and immediately moved to quench it, having guessed that Jackson had misunderstood him and perhaps, he hadn’t explained the situation enough. “I received a letter from Mark today regarding matters between our kingdoms. It’s just that he mentioned you and asked me to pass his wishes to you. That’s all.” He felt a little guilty at how Jackson’s gleam of hope died but there really wasn’t much he could do. In fact, it seemed that Mark could barely bring himself to write about Jackson for the prince had left mention of the guard in guise of asking about tournament preparations towards the very end of the letter with a brief request of telling Jackson to take care. That was it. Just to take care. Jinyoung wondered why Mark’s message to Jackson had been so sparse but decided that Mark probably had his reasons. If it had been Jinyoung writing the message, he would have included detailed instructions of how Jaebum was to ‘take care’ of himself – making sure he ate well, slept well, got enough rest, made time to socialise, so on and so forth which was why he found Mark’s tight lipped response a little unfeeling. Especially in light of how much Jackson yearned for something more.

“Jackson,” Jinyoung waited until the guard whose gaze had fallen to the ground at his feet looked up. Jackson’s eyes were sad and a little disappointed which made Jinyoung want to comfort him. “Mark means well. He does want you to take care of yourself. You will, won’t you?”

Jackson nodded, uncharacteristically subdued.

“Alright then. Remember, anytime you need or want anything, please don’t hesitate to tell Jaebum or I. We really want you to feel at home here,” said Jinyoung before gesturing a good bye with a brief nod and left to head back to the castle.

Jaebum watched Jackson carefully, noting the droop in the visiting guard’s lips and downcast eyes. “Hey,” Jaebum said, interrupting Jackson’s thoughts. Jaebum slipped his arm around Jackson’s shoulders before hitching it around the other’s neck, “Let’s go get dinner. I owe you beer, remember?”

It was only later that night just as Jackson was about to drift off to sleep that an idea occurred to him – an idea that was so simple and yet so wonderful, it boggled Jackson’s mind how he had never thought of it before! Springing upright in his bed, Jackson grinned into the darkness at the brilliance of it all! However, it did involve overstepping a particular boundary in the social hierarchy but Jackson was confident that he’d be able to get someone to help him and that someone was none other than Prince Jinyoung. After all, Prince Jinyoung did owe him a reward.

The next morning, Jackson did not hesitate to request an audience with the prince who was in his study as per his usual morning routine. Jinyoung granted permission, of course, and looked up encouragingly at Jackson who had sank into a bow.

“Good morning, Jackson. No training today?”

“There is training, Prince Jinyoung. But I asked to be excused for a while. It is quite urgent,” explained Jackson, rising to stand up straight. When he had told Jaebum, the guard had only hesitated for a moment before allowing Jackson to go.

“Urgent?” echoed Jinyoung, leaning forward a little as he sat on his chair by the table in his study. “What is the matter?”

“It’s…” Jackson began to say, his fingers twitching out of nervousness before he clenched them into fists and placed them firmly behind his back. He needed to wish his prince happy birthday and that was all that mattered. Taking a deep breath, Jackson’s words gushed from his lips. “Prince Jinyoung, do you remember that you offered me a reward last time and I said I’d tell you when I think of something? Well, I have thought of something and it’s something that isn’t exactly permissible to a person of my social standing but it would mean a tremendous deal to me if you’d be willing to agree. I mean – that is – of course you can refuse and reject it because it’s not right for me to ask this of you anyway but, you see, I really have no other choice and you’re the only one I can ask and-”

After listening to the desperate rambling, Jinyoung had no choice but to hold his palm outwards to stem the verbal outburst. A slight frown had appeared on his brow because he had had to concentrate to process what Jackson was saying and the speed at which the guard to talk was no laughing matter. “Jackson, what is it that you’re asking?”

Jackson inhaled, willed himself to be direct, and said “I ask that you teach me how to write.” He then tensed his shoulders, steeling himself for rejection because guards were not supposed to learn how to read and write. That was left to those of higher social standing, those who needed to govern the country. They were the ones who had to labour to be literate while those like Jackson relied purely on muscle and brawn in their station in life. That was enough. In fact, there were those who believed that literacy should never be shared beyond the top few classes. First of all, it was believed that those from the lower social classes were simpler with lower levels of intelligence so teaching them how to read and write would be a waste of time. Secondly, they’d have no use for those skills in their lives anyway. It was a scholarly pursuit for a chosen few which was why Jackson had been fairly certain that Prince Jinyoung would argue against it but Jackson was determined to persuade the prince to say yes.

To say that Jackson’s request surprised Jinyoung would be an understatement and the prince barely avoided gaping openly at the guard. “To write? Why? For what purpose?” Jinyoung questioned a little hesitantly, wanting to understand and also curious about Jackson’s intentions.

Jackson debated for a moment. Should he tell Prince Jinyoung his intentions? He would certainly have to, considering what he had in mind but at the same time, it was so personal that Jackson wanted to keep it to himself as much as possible. However, he could trust Prince Jinyoung couldn’t he? Prince Jinyoung wouldn’t… laugh at him. Well, time to find out.

“I want to write a message to His Royal Highness,” Jackson told the prince, adding “it’s for his birthday,” in hopes that that would be reason enough.

Jinyoung watched as a blush crept unto Jackson’s cheeks. While the guard did not drop his gaze, the firm set of his lips and clench of his jaw implied that he was nervous to say the least and most likely expected Jinyoung to reject him. It took Jinyoung less than a moment to realise he would never really reject Jackson, not when the guard was so earnest and sincere. He was one of the few individuals that Jinyoung was drawn to and thought of as someone akin to a friend.

Jinyoung’s lips curved in a gentle smile, “Of course I’ll teach you.” However, the slight frown that had been wiped away at the heartfelt request returned to Jinyoung’s brow, “but writing is not an easy task to master. It takes years.” Once again, Jinyoung had to watch the hope in Jackson’s eyes die at his words and it tugged at Jinyoung’s heartstrings. There was such disappointment in Jackson’s face that Jinyoung felt he had committed a terrible wrong, as if he had snuffed out the life of something pure. “But I can still teach you,” assured Jinyoung quickly, “There are ways around it because I don’t think you have to learn everything. You can choose and focus on what you have to learn to write the message rather than learning to write proper. Of course, I can still teach you but considering Mark’s birthday is not too far off, perhaps we can concentrate on specific things?”

All too eager to believe that his wish was possible after all, Jackson nodded with enthusiasm, “When can we start? Soon? Please? I promise I’ll work extremely hard and be a good student.” Jackson’s earnestness made Jinyoung smile and between them, they worked out that Jackson would have lessons with Jinyoung in the evenings after training was over. They had to begin quickly as time was of the essence.

Jackson’s first task was to decide what he wanted to learn first and he would rather take another lashing or stand under the hot sun for the whole day than to tell Jinyoung what he wanted to write to his prince verbatim. So he had to devise a paragraph that would contain all the words he wanted to use in his message but buried in a dull bed of seemingly disconnected sentences. Call Jackson ambitious but he wanted to write the message and not just copy it out from an example.

 

Jinyoung found planning lessons for Jackson quite an interesting experience, especially with a student as eager as Jackson, the prince found that he dwelled on the lessons more than he could have. They began with the alphabet and Jinyoung tried to get Jackson to recognise the sounds that each letter made.

“Mark, for example, has an M, A, R and K because that’s how you say his name,” Jinyoung explained when Jackson had wanted to start straight away with the paragraph. The prince tried reasoning with Jackson to show why learning the alphabet was important.

“Can’t I learn that later?” whined Jackson who was beginning to slump on the stool positioned by Jinyoung’s table in his study.

“No,” said Jinyoung decisively, “You learn this first or no more writing lessons.”

Jackson stopped himself from pouting and reluctantly nodded. Thus, he concentrated on writing each letter over and over, again and again. Most of them were alright but the letter ‘S’ was giving him problems. It was such a swift curve that whatever he produced ended up looking extremely clumsy. His arms and fingers were used to sweeping and large movements so these minute, careful and all together refined pressures and tilt of fingers were frustrating. It was such a delicate task. He wanted to move his whole arm to do it but Jinyoung was firm. Only his fingers could move for they were to control the quill. Jinyoung was adamant that whatever Jackson learned, he’d be able to do it properly.

“Try again,” Jinyoung encouraged Jackson and with a huff, Jackson bit his lip in concentration and glared hard at the nib of the quill on the piece of parchment. The first curve was fine but when he was required to change direction, the drag of the quill once again produced a misshapen S. Seeing the failed result made Jackson growl under his breath. He much preferred the letter L, even A, and M. Anything that did not require intricate curves. For some reason, Jinyoung found Jackson’s frustrations adorable for it made Jackson crinkle his nose, stare daggers at the harmless quill, bit his lower lip and at one point, Jackson even stuck his tongue out to concentrate. Watching Jackson throwing all of his effort into this also made Jinyoung sympathise with the guard.

“Here,” said Jinyoung as he pulled his chair closer so that they sat side by side. He placed his hand on Jackson’s and gently guided him into the movements necessary to write the letter with practised ease. “See,” Jinyoung remarked as their hands and fingers moved together to trace the letter on parchment, “it’s not that difficult.”

“Hmm,” Jackson hummed. With the prince’s hand guiding him in the unfamiliar , it really didn’t seem as daunting as he thought. “Again, please?” asked Jackson and Jinyoung consented, using the pressure of his fingers to guide Jackson’s own in the shift of movement needed to accomplish the task. “Maybe, maybe I can do this,” murmured Jackson in hushed amazement, this time moving his fingers on his own though Jinyoung’s hand was still placed encouragingly on his.

Jinyoung had been watching Jackson closely thus far, their heads now only a palm’s length apart. They were so close to each other that Jackson’s every eyelash was defined and Jinyoung could certainly feel the air stir as Jackson breathed. Then, all of a sudden, Jackson turned his head with a bright smile on his face with an enthusiastic declaration of “I can do this” but it wasn’t Jackson’s grin that made Jinyoung take a sudden intake of breath. It was the revelation of the myriad glints of brown that overlapped and mingled together to form the depth of Jackson’s eyes that were now wide and staring back at him. The moment seemed to linger, his eyes searching Jackson’s and Jackson’s watching his own, bewildered. Quickly, Jinyoung’s mind worked to find an excuse, for something that would tide over such an awkward situation and the prince blurted out the first thing he could think of, “You’ve got some crust in your eyes.”

Jackson blinked and hastily yanked his hand out from under Jinyoung’s grasp to wipe at the corner of his eyes. Great, just great. There he was, stunned by the sudden proximity and intent gaze in the prince’s eyes and all the prince was doing was staring at his lack of hygiene. He really should wash his face more carefully. Not knowing what to say, Jackson turned back to the parchment, picked up the quill again and executed a much finer S than he had accomplished thus far.

“I think this is fine. What’s next?” he asked, quill poised and expectant. His eyes flickered to Jinyoung’s hand, indicating that the prince should pick up his quill and continue the lesson. Jinyoung marvelled at Jackson’s single-mindedness. When the guard had a task at hand, he was bound to carry it through which began to help Jinyoung make sense of things, especially in regards to Jackson’s relationship with Mark. Could it be? Jinyoung had his suspicions and made a mental note to find out if it were true.

Over the next few weeks, Jackson worked diligently to master the sentences that he had meticulously planned for his purposes when Jinyoung suggested a test. Jackson would transcribe sentences that Jinyoung fashioned based on the words he had learned and Jackson agreed to do it for it would be a validation of the work he had put in all these evenings. He studied for it, writing the words over and over again with a quill but on the wooden surface of the small table in his room. He practised on any surface for that matter because he hadn’t wanted to waste parchment. They were expensive and meant for actual usage, not for a guard to scratch out words which Jackson did believe were getting more and more acceptable in terms of appearance. Of course, it had none of Jinyoung’s elegant hand.

Jinyoung looked back on the lessons with the satisfaction felt by a mentor. He took pride in how much Jackson had learned, how painstakingly he’d make sure that every fit, how Jackson had cursed at the similarities between C and G as well as O and Q because all that differentiated them was a small tail. Jinyoung remembered how Jackson complained about W because it was more a double V than a double U. Seeing all this, Jinyoung had decided not to bother with lowercase letters because it would only confuse Jackson further at this point. Apart from all that, it often brought a smile to Jinyoung’s face when he recalled how Jackson reacted when the guard found out that his name and Mark’s shared similar letters.

“We both have A and K! In the same places!” exclaimed Jackson who seemed as excited as a five-year-old who had been given his favourite dessert in the entire kingdom. He insisted on learning Jinyoung and Jaebum’s names after that as well though they were not in the list of sentences he had planned. “All three of us start with J! What are the odds of that?!” cried Jackson, eagerly practising their names to commit them to memory.

Needless to say, Jackson passed the test though there were a few errors here and there but all in all, Jackson felt ready to write his prince a message. After requesting for a piece of parchment and eliciting a promise from Jinyoung to include Jackson’s message in the next letter he sent to Mark, Jackson prepared himself to write the letter.

Sitting at the small table in his room, parchment all ready, a quill loaned to him by Jinyoung dipped in ink and almost touching the parchment’s surface, Jackson took a deep breath. The candle at his table was the only source of light in the room and for a long while after Jackson first wrote the letter T, there was only the sound of controlled breathing and scratching of the quill’s nib on parchment.

TO HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS PRINCE MARK

(Jinyoung had insisted that Jackson address Mark by name because that was the format of writing letters. ‘You need to write the name of the person you’re sending the letter to,’ Jinyoung had said. Jackson was still reluctant because once again, using his prince’s name spoke of a familiarity that he had no part of. Jinyoung argued against Jackson’s wishes, persuading Jackson by suggesting that just using ‘His royal highness’ could refer to anyone, even to Jinyoung. Jackson had to make it clear. And so Jackson came to terms with it. It was still an odd feeling to write M A R and K but at this point, Jackson just took pride that he could spell his prince’s name. It was an accomplishment that he found satisfaction in)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

(Jackson grinned, knowing that he spelled that with absolute accuracy)

I AM SORY I CAN NOT TELL YOU IN PERSON BUT IN WRITING,

(Jackson was still unsure about fullstops because Jinyoung’s explanations about sentences confused him. What would be a full sentence? How would he know? And it got even more complicated thanks to things like commas. Jinyoung’s advice to put a comma in places where he’d paused in speech and full stops for longer pauses did not really work because of Jackson’s natural speech just went on and on. It was complete when whatever he wanted to say ended so that’s what he stuck with)

PLEASE FORGIVE MY WRITING,

(forgive was so much easier to remember than ‘excuse’)

ITS NOT PERFECT WRITING BUT I REALLY WANT TO TELL YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY,

IM TAKING CARE OF MYSELF HOPE YOU ARE TOO,

I HAVE A LOT TO TELL YOU LATER I HOPE YOU ARE WELL,

SINCERELY JACKSON

After what seemed like ages, at least long enough for the candle to be reduced to a mere stub, Jackson reached the end. Letting out a loud groan, Jackson’s tired and strained fingers dropped the quill and flexed. He rolled his shoulders that had probably been tensed the entire time. His back hurt and he had to blink multiple times to focus after staring at the parchment so closely that his nose almost brushed the page.

He picked up the parchment and except for a few crosses here and there because some words that he had trouble spelling but overall, he was satisfied. He had only dared ask for one piece of parchment for his intentions and though not perfect it will have to do. At least the S’s looked like the letter S even though he had tried his best to avoid them. He laid it carefully on his desk for the ink to dry completely. He’d fold it in the morning and pass it to Prince Jinyoung as soon as he could. He didn’t want others to read it, let alone get the prince in trouble because he had taught Jackson how to write. It was to be a secret between them. Only Jaebum knew what was going on because he had cornered Jackson in the visiting guard’s bedroom one night and demanded to know what he was doing in Prince Jinyoung’s study so often. Jackson told him readily because even though others were not meant to know, Jaebum was different. Moreover, Jackson wanted to share his excitement at being able to write a little with someone he now regarded as a brother. To Jackson, it was something to grin about but he had no idea why an expression of blissful relief blanketed Jaebum’s face. When he asked, Jaebum merely shook his head saying it was nothing and then had told Jackson that he was glad the visiting guard had found a way around his worry.

Exhausted from his efforts, Jackson fell asleep and the next day, gleefully handed the folded piece of parchment to the prince. The carrier pigeon to be used for the mission was ready in the prince’s study as well as Jinyoung’s own letter to Mark.

“Thank you so much for offering to send this. I am truly grateful, Prince Jinyoung,” Jackson said.

“It’s my pleasure, Jackson,” replied Jinyoung as he offered some wax to the guard.

Jackson glanced at the red stick in Jinyoung’s hand. “What is that?”

“Why, don’t you want to seal your letter, Jackson? So that others won’t read it?”

“Oh!” uttered Jackson in surprise, his eyes wide. “Is that how it’s done?”

Jinyoung had to laugh at Jackson’s innocent wonderment. “Yes. And since you do not have a seal, you could carve anything you want on it before it hardens. Do you know what you’d like to mark it with?”

Jackson only had to think for a little while, “I do. I’m ready.” Jackson watched as Jinyoung melted the wax, eyes following the drops of red molten liquid as it formed a blotch where the parchment fold lay.

“Quickly,” urged Jinyoung after flattening the pool of wax with a blank seal.

Jackson quickly picked up the quill he had in his hands and scrawled the letter J in his first attempts at embellished handwriting. The result was not as elegant as what he had in mind but he felt a sense of ownership in seeing his mark on the letter intended for his prince.

Once the wax had hardened, Jinyoung picked up Jackson’s letter, tied it with string together with his and secured it to the homing pigeon. At Jinyoung’s invitation, Jackson held the bird together with the prince and at the window, released it into the air at the count of three. Jackson watched as the pigeon flew off and with it, Jackson whispered a prayer for safe travels so that his message would arrive in time for his prince’s birthday.

Jinyoung glanced at Jackson’s hopeful eyes and unlike him, slipped his arm around Jackson’s shoulders. “Mark will be very happy,” Jinyoung commented to Jackson who turned to look at the prince.

“I hope so,” replied Jackson, his eyes quickly returning to the pigeon that was now only a speck in the sky, “from the bottom of my soul,” continued Jackson in a hushed murmur, his eyes adorned by a bright glitter that tugged at Jinyoung’s heart.

 

 

 

___________________________

 

author's note:

 

this chapter is basically jackson's point of view. Mark's will come in the next chapter :) sorry there isn't much markson here though.....

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Quotezdaily
#1
Chapter 12: Please don't abandon this story please. This is one of my favourite fanfic ( I have read all Markson fanficitons ) . Your writing style , the plotline everything is so good. Also take care of your helath ^_^
Cawito #2
Chapter 12: What? No more chapters? Why?? This fanfiction is really good!!!
blueandgrey_ #3
i was on a six month hiatus, and i came back recently...this fic was one of the first stories i looked for because it had been one of my absolute favourite markson fics ♡
i hope you haven't decided to not continue this story or something, (though if you have, that's completely your call if course). as a writer, i do know how hard it is to find the time to write and actually be motivated to write and find the right words and stuff...but as a reader, i really do wish you decide to update soon (no pressure haha) :)
Joker_hyphen #4
Chapter 12: I miss this story so much that I came back to read it all over again ahah happy new year author-nim and readers!!
Red_Panda
#5
I miss this story! I hope you don't give up on it! Best wishes
Dichromatic #6
Chapter 12: I love your story with how much detail you put in and your writing style is just great! I didn't think there would be an update this soon. You are awesome! Thank you.
petshopxoxoxo #7
Chapter 12: Jackson, I'm sure that Mark misses u as much as u miss him. It might be because u didn't write him any letter for weeks. It might be because of his prince image in public. Fighting Markson!
Nachtice #8
Chapter 12: Good start to the last arc authornim!
Fighting Jackson! I'm sure Mark's got a lot on his mind.
W-in-the-stars
#9
Chapter 12: Ugh lord I was so close! So close to seeing that Markson interaction. You're cruel to me T.T but I'll take what I can get. Thank you <3
klollipoper #10
Chapter 11: this story is so good im so happy i found it ?? just how you write is beautiful and detailed and i love their personalities especially jinyoung's and jackson's omg