The next morning, the boys woke up before the sun had even risen. They were so used to waking up when the sky was still dark, that their bodies became their own alarming clock.  Jin was usually the one that woke up first and liked to make breakfast for the other members.  He liked to cook, so he had no problem with being the one that did.  This morning he didn’t cook breakfast, instead he got dressed in his warmest clothes and went outside.  The snow had finally stopped and there was lots of it.  It would take hours for them to shovel this all up, but he knew that they wouldn’t stop until it was all gone.  He went outside and shoveled until the other members woke up one by one and assisted him.  It was a difficult night and all the boys looked like it had been. They all look exhausted physically and mentally.

No one said a word for what felt like hours, and maybe it had been because the sun had finally risen.  Suddenly, Jungkook broke the silence, “Why do we have to shovel this?” he asked.  He put the shovel down and pulled his gloves off.  Namjoon looked down at his hands and saw how red they were.  He picked the gloves up and shoved it onto Jungkook’s chest and looked back at the house.

“Who else will do it besides us? And be grateful Jungkook. We’re staying at their home and eating their food.  Show your gratitude by doing something as simple as shoveling the snow,” Jungkook grabbed the gloves and slid his hands back inside,” You shouldn’t take those off. It’s freezing,” Namjoon said and returned to his position and continued to shovel the snow. 

The boys continued to shovel in silence until the snow was completely cleared.  Their faces were red and sore, and they were relieved when they were finished.  They went inside the house that was warm and smelled of a cooked meal.  When they got to the bedroom they took off the wet and cold clothing and replaced them with dry and warm clothing.  They still felt slightly cold, but it was better and they knew they would be warm again soon. 

“Lunch!” Jimin’s mother yelled.  The boys ran to her voice.  They were starving. 

As Namjoon left the bedroom he saw Jimin’s mother walking down the hallway with a tray of food.  He looked as his mother and cleared his throat, “Are you bringing that to Jimin, ma’am?” She nodded and looked down at the tray.  She looked at Namjoon and smiled a painful smile.

“He doesn’t leave his room to eat so we bring it to him. Still, he doesn’t eat much of it, but we bring it to him at every meal in hopes that one day he’ll finish it all.  So far it hasn’t happened. It makes me afraid of how much weight he’s lost,” Namjoon gave her a comforting smile and grabbed onto the tray.  He wanted to bring Jimin the meal.  He wanted an excuse to go into the bedroom and talk to him and he hoped he could even convince him to eat it all. 

“Ma’am, can I bring him his meal today? I would like to speak with him,” She nodded and patted his hands to show her appreciation and walked away.  Namjoon watched as she walked down the hallway and was soon out of his view.  He turned around and walked to the last room that had been Jimin’s, and hesitantly knocked on the door,” Jimin?” He called out but did not receive a response.  He turned the door knob and pushed the door open.  The room was as cold as it was yesterday.  He entered the room and placed the tray down and walked towards the window,” It’s freezing, Jimin.  You shouldn’t have the window open.” He closed the window and turned around.  He looked at Jimin who was quietly lying in bed.  He didn’t look up at Namjoon, and Namjoon had hoped that he would if even for a second,” Jimin, are you hungry? Your mother made lunch and you should eat it.  You need to eat.” He cleared his throat and pulled a chair next to Jimin’s bed.  He looked down at Jimin and placed his hand on his arm,” Can you sit up and eat, Jimin? Your mother is worried about you.  She thinks you’re not eating enough,” He said but Jimin did not respond.  He thought to himself how good Jimin had become at ignoring people,” Jimin, can you speak to me? Can you tell me what you’re thinking?  It can’t be healthy for you to stay in your room like this every single day, why don’t you come out with me and we’ll talk about whatever is on your mind?”

Jimin looked up at Namjoon,” Taehyung can’t eat.  Taehyung can’t talk.  Taehyung can’t up and walk and go where ever he pleases.  Taehyung can’t move.  All Taehyung can do is lay there in darkness under the snow.  He’s cold and it’s dark and scary for him. He’s cold and it’s dark and scary because of me, Namjoon.  I did something bad Namjoon and I have to make it right.  Taehyung can’t eat, I won’t eat.  Taehyung can’t leave, I won’t leave.  Taehyung stays in the cold and in the dark and so I will stay in the cold and in the dark.  I did that to Taehyung so it’s only right I experience the same thing he experiences.” Jimin climbed out of bed and opened up the window aggressively, “Please leave, Namjoon.  I don’t want to talk anymore. I did that to Taehyung and now I have to make it right.”

Namjoon grabbed Jimin’s wrist and looked up at him” No Jimin, you didn’t do that to Taehyung.  You know you didn’t do it to Taehyung.  It was an accident and you need to accept his death and live your life the way it’s supposed to be lived.  Staying in your room like this isn’t right.  It isn’t right for your family to see this happening and it isn’t right for you.  You need to accept what’s happened and move on Jimin.”

“It was me Namjoon!  I was the one that was angry that night.  I was the one that was angry and throwing a fit.  Taehyung followed me out of our dorms that night and got into the car with me. I was the one that was speeding and wasn’t driving safely.  I was the one that ran that red light and I was the one that allowed that truck to slam into the car.  Taehyung is dead because I was angry that my girlfriend was breaking up with me. If I had just let her go and didn’t decide to go after her, Taehyung wouldn’t have gotten into the car with me as an attempt to calm me down.  We didn’t even get down the street.  We were next to the dorms when the truck hit us.  He didn’t even know that in twenty seconds he would be dead.  I need to take responsibility for what happened that night Namjoon.  Let me take responsibility for what happened that night Namjoon.  Don’t try to make excuses for what happened because I know what happened and I know it was my fault.  Now please.  Just leave.” Namjoon let go of Jimin and nodded his head.  He knew the only thing he could do was to leave.  He knew that nothing he could say in that moment would change Jimin’s mind or make him move on from his death.  Jimin had so much guilt that Namjoon wasn’t sure what he could do or say to make Jimin heal.  But he knew he would have to try his hardest.  Jimin had to move on and Namjoon would do anything it would take to see Jimin smile again.