It was a tiring day after their last schedule of their Hwayangyeonhwa promotions, and the boys had complained when they were told to gather at the company once again that evening. After a hard time gathering seven boys who were sweaty and whining, their manager held out a small stack of 5 yellow envelopes and waved in the air before passing it out one to Jin, Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok and Jimin respectively.

 

Their tired faces soon turned alert and curiosity filled their eyes, especially the younger two that didn’t receive the envelope. With a slight pout, Taehyung flopped back down on the floor of their dance studio in defeat.  

 

“Ah, unfair why is it only the hyungs ge--”

 

“Wait, open it, open it!” Taehyung exclaimed hurriedly cutting Jungkook off after he realized something within the two seconds of looking around. “Hurry, hyung hurry!”

 

“Daebak,” Namjoon cried. Without having to open the envelope, he already knew what it contained by looking past the slight translucency of the paper.

 

Jin slipped the piece of paper out from his envelope to find a movie ticket for 4 and also details of a reserved restaurant and he knew that it was right for his family. The smile on his face soon fades, however, when he sees Yoongi slipping the paper out of his envelope, ignoring Taehyung in front of him grinning and whining impatiently for the hyung to hurry.

 

Kim Taehyung

Daegu

05/01/2016

 

When Taehyung snatched the ticket away from the older’s hands, Yoongi swears he felt his eyes welling up with tears that sat and refused to fall just yet. Although he hasn’t seen what’s behind Taehyung’s ticket to Daegu, he already knew that his came along with it. There was a reason why Taehyung’s ticket came in the same envelope, he figured.

 

Min Yoongi

Daegu
05/01/2016

 

Jin’s face fell even more as he tried to catch the younger’s eyes but failed to. A quick flashback flooded Yoongi’s mind as he recalled what had happened and why he couldn’t just go back home. He spent a few moments imagining how it’d be like if he actually went back, however before his imagination went further, it got interrupted by Jin.

 

“Yoongi-ah,” with Jin’s soft and comforting whisper, Yoongi got up, leaving his ticket and envelope on the floor unattended.

 

“I-I left something in the studio,” Yoongi tried, but as he walked off the dance studio, Namjoon caught Yoongi’s tear fall. The younger only sighed and waited for the door to shut before telling the rest.

 

Jimin bit his bottom lip, afraid of what might happen next. The boys were nervous as Yoongi had broke down often for several reasons, whether it was the boys, his family or simply out of fatigue -- and they did not want this to be yet another time. Taehyung, of all people, looked the most guilty. He was Yoongi’s boyfriend, and for whatever just happened to Yoongi, he blamed himself more than anything.

 

“Yoongi took off like that because I literally whined to him to hurry up. I forgot his family--” he croaked but left his sentence hanging when he heard Jungkook mutter a “you think?” Taehyung clutched the ticket in his hand for a moment but loosened the grip when he felt Jimin’s hand on his, soothing him before the ticket became crushed and invalid. “I-I’ll go apologize to Yoongi hyung now.”

 

Before Hoseok could call out that it was a bad idea, the anxious boy had already ran out of the dance studio with holding both his and Yoongi’s tickets in his hands.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Silence.

 

“You can come over to mine?”

 

And entertain that perfect family of yours? no.

 

“Hyung, don’t be quiet..”

 

Once again, silence.

 

“I don’t wanna go alone,” Taehyung lied.

 

“Bull.”

 

The venom in Yoongi’s voice made the younger flinch; and the next moment he decided he should just leave his hyung alone.

~

Jimin stood by the door as Yoongi completely ignored his existence as his swift hands danced across the black and white keys. Soon, the all too familiar song flooded the room, and the sadness of the music seeped into Jimin’s body, causing his heart to feel heavy. Jimin was about to sing along to the melody of the piano playing I Need U, but his voice failed him. He was too captivated by his favorite hyung.

 

It took Jimin a whole minute to snap out of his trance, not wanting to miss this rare moment of Yoongi playing the piano so, so beautifully, he opened twitter and began recording his hyung playing. Evidently, as he recorded, he tried to control his smile but obviously failed to. His cheekbones raised, letting his eyes turn to crescents.

 

After recording, he paused and stared at the plain white box and spent a good few seconds wondering what to caption it with. Starting of with typing “My Yoongi hyung” before erasing and changing it to “Our Yoongi hyung” before entirely redoing the caption to “Everyone, this is a present for all ARMYs who cheered and waited for us throughout the entire day today. It’s my first time seeing this during our 3 years, too. #JIMIN #SUGA”

 

Just as he hit the tweet button, he noticed from the mirror that Jungkook had emerged from behind him. “Yoongi hyung, Jungkook and I will go now,” Jimin smiled as he waved Jungkook off to quickly go and the younger know well that he should move before devil yoongi shows up again. Just as Jungkook left, Jimin checked his surroundings before sliding in the small studio instead of leaving.

 

Carefully, in order not to shock the older, he slipped his arms around Yoongi from the back, giving him the comfort that Jimin thought he needed. Contrary to what Jimin had expected, Yoongi melted in his arms and his once tensed body started to relax. With his cheek nuzzled against Yoongi’s soft hair, and hands reaching for his, Jimin whispered, “I’m here, don’t worry. Technically I won’t be, but just call me if you need anything. Okay, hyung..?” Saying this made Yoongi close his eyes and let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “We’ll see you in a week. I’m gonna go for real now.”

 

The moment Jimin left, tears found their way to Yoongi’s eyes once again and a minute or two later, he caught a glance of Taehyung standing by the door with disbelief evident in his eyes. Yoongi looked away from the figure of his boyfriend and drops his gaze back down to the piano. “Hyung, I know you’re upset, but Jiminnie seriously?” Taehyung whined, almost desperate, but the older could tell that he was nothing but upset as well. Good. “You have me, Hyung. I came earlier and you didn’t even want to look at--”

 

“Get out.”

 

“How do you think they are going to ever want you back if you keep being like this? At least if you tried to go back, they might-- forget it, there’s no use talking to you. Maybe I should just get Jimin to come here, huh?” he rolled his eyes before turning away to walk out of the place entirely but he froze when he saw Jimin standing quietly about 4 metres away from where he was. “Oh look, your angel is here,” Taehyung spat with a scoff that followed before taking a last glance at Yoongi before walking off, bumping his shoulders against Jimin’s. Jimin, who was about to come back for Yoongi again, decided to leave as well.

 

After playing a medley of songs, he leaned forward, pressing his knuckles against his eyes. You’re not crying, Min Yoongi, he told himself. He tried to calm himself on his own this time, cursing at how weak and childish he’s being. It doesn’t take long until Yoongi recalled what had happened once again.

~

 

“What are those articles?” Yoongi’s mother screamed through the phone and he silently cursed under his breath. Like he wasn’t affected enough. Yoongi only remained silent on the other line, trying not to break down at that moment.

 

He had been feeling like utter ever since the article came out calling him gay. He wouldn’t have cared, because it’s not like it wasn’t true; but what kept him anxious and depressed was that he was bringing his own name down by the reaction and comments by the netizens, and this unaccepting culture. What was worse, is that he was definitely bringing Bangtan’s name down, and he didn’t even dare to deny it for a second.

 

Ever since that day, Yoongi had became more conscious of the things people say around him, and he had talked less in interviews as he didn’t want to jeopardize Bangtan even more. Even though the members clearly told him that there was nothing wrong. Ever since then, Yoongi grew both stronger and weaker. He was more resistant towards the things people say, yet something, anything, could easily break him down.

 

“Don’t you dare come home this winter,” his father called, the same harshness Yoongi had picked up could be heard in his father’s voice.

 

“Don’t worry, I don’t even have the opportunity to go home.”

 

Yoongi might have said it too harsh, but it was true. They were going to promote Hwayangyeonhwa Pt. 2 during winter and they’d be busy with their Japan concert and end-of-year events that they won’t have the opportunity to go home.

 

It was during their Japan concert when Yoongi out. Earlier on, the members claimed his face was pale and he looked weaker than usual, but it was overlooked since he insisted that they were thinking too much. Unfortunately, it wasn’t just that. Yoongi out an hour before the concert and woke up in the hospital -- with Taehyung by his side. Taehyung knew Yoongi would be burdened by what had happened. So he, too, acted as if he was unwell for the concert. At least Yoongi wouldn’t have to bear the guilt all on his own. At least if people out there would blame “Suga and V” and not just “Suga” alone.

 

That night too, Yoongi had received a rare text message from his hyung that he blatantly ignored. “Yoongi-ah, I heard you fell sick, get well soon, it’s cold.” Ever since he felt he wasn’t accepted anymore in the family, no one ever texted him, neither did he pick up the courage to initiate.

~

 

Taking a deep breath, Yoongi steadied himself before resting his fingers back on the keys. For a moment he did reconsider what Taehyung had suggested, to just go back home, but of course, in the end, his decision stayed otherwise.

 

After an hour or so, he managed to force himself out of that state and got up to check on the members, to see if they were still around. It was late at night and he didn’t want any of them to wait out for him. Just as Yoongi emerged, Namjoon knew what he was gonna ask, so he started to explain before the other could even open his mouth.

 

“Jimin and Jungkook already left, their flight is an hour from now. Taehyung left too, he kin--” Namjoon cleared his throat when he realized Yoongi’s change of expression from smiling hearing about the other two, to it fading when hearing Taehyung’s name. “Hoseok had left back to the dorm since he has schedule tomorrow morning and well, I’m just here with Jin, hanging out, I guess. You should rest, hyung.”

 

Yoongi nodded once to acknowledge Namjoon’s effort in explaining before letting out a whisper, “Are you guys going back too?” Namjoon didn’t have to answer to that because he knew that he was actually asking Jin, because they knew he couldn’t go home either.

 

“Um, well, I’m gonna go with Jaehwan and Sandeul,” Jin explained, sighing at the fact that he couldn’t go home either. “That makes the 3 of us, and since they gave me 4 tickets, why not you come with us?”

 

Yoongi weakly shook his head before plastering a smile on his face. “You go on, hyung, don’t worry.”

 

With that, Yoongi knew that he was all alone this holiday.