Out of pure habit, Kris’ feet led him to a large concert hall. Before the crash, it had been his favorite place with its lofty stained glass windows, modern look, and most importantly, his favorite grand piano. The way those notes sounded while echoing off the ceiling made the blood surge through his veins and heat to a dangerous temperature. Piano was his addiction, his ecstasy. He used to crave feeling the warm light on him while his fingers floated across the ivory keys, but now he felt nothing but insulted as he approached the building. It stood just as glorious as he remembered, making Kris’ stomach tighten.

A few measly rays of sun had broken though the dark clouds by this point, causing his expression to become even more sullen. The weather was mocking him, and it only became worse when he entered the hall. Iridescent colors danced on the floor when he entered the building, quite opposite from his pure black attire. Kris breathed out, looked up through the windows one last time, and walked to the other door. Through that door was his favorite place in the whole world: the grand hall. Rows upon rows of seats all lined up to face the lit up stage. Once he saw this sight, memories came flooding back to him. In his young, and more vulnerable days, back when he had first come to Korea, this was the original place where it all began. Someone had seen him perform one of Beethoven’s Sonatas in China and offered him the chance to be the pianist in an upcoming performance led by a very talented composer. Being a young, somewhat sought after musician made him feel invincible. Little did he know that that trip would be the beginning of the end. Love as first sight was a joke to him. You couldn’t possibly feel such a strong emotion for a person before you properly meet them. And yet, Kris Wu was proved wrong.

The first time he ever saw Kim Joonmyun, it was…unexplainable. He’d heard about the young composer making his way up the ranks, that was it. But the moment his eyes fell upon Joonmyun’s, everything came to a screeching hold. Time stopped, his heartbeat seemed to halt, and the world around them was completely craved away. It was just the two of them standing in the void. A feeling started brewing in the pit of his stomach, rose up like a fire into his chest. Kris honestly had to look away from fear of the hot feeling forming in his cheeks, and yet he still felt the gaze of the man, which made him flustered. He never felt that thing in chest beat as hard it did that day, and knew he'd probably never feel it again. Meeting Joonmyun changed his life forever.

Now, in the pain of spring, filled with nothing barrenness and self-loathing, Kris had no feeling whatsoever. Before the accident, waves of different kinds of emotions would crash over him with each step he took in the hall. No longer was he happy to be there, he didn’t desire to be there either, but honestly Kris had nowhere else to go at this point. Staying home was pointless when his torture because his was still filled with Joonmyun’s things, friends weren’t really existent for him, and his family was in another country. It’s not like he couldn’t make friends, but he devoted most of his life to one focus, you become sort of uncomfortable around things that actually respond when you make comments to yourself. Apparently talking to yourself isn’t a normal thing normal people do.

It surprised him that the light were still on in the performance hall, but to his luck it seemed like no one was in there. In the past months he’d come to despise performing in front of others. Kris detested playing at all, and he couldn’t even play at all. Despite that important fact, the man pushed the stage door open and walked backstage to face the huge grand piano. From a distance he could tell it was still in it’s perfection state. Moments passed, and he was about to turn around and go home when a voice inside his head told him to play a song, a song for Joonmyun. It seemed like the least he could do to keep his memory alive (ironic since the thought of said man never left Kris’ mind). Taking a step, his eyes gazed into the empty audience. With the bright light on the middle of the stage, he couldn’t tell if anyone was there, but it didn’t really matter.

What Kris Wu enjoyed playing were nice, relaxing pieces that could soothe a crowd. Not today though, it was very different today. From the moment he sat down, all that came to him was gloom and hate. With a small chuckle, his fingers rested lightly on the keys. A deep breath in, and now he began. Kris’ playing style today wasn’t animated, nor happy, but dark, sad, everything that consumed his insides. He dragged his hands along keys while trying to overcome the unhappiness, the pain, and the tightness in his stomach, mainly the pain. Schubert’s Sonata in A Major wasn’t the most challenge piece, and still a burning sensation made the bone in his left wrist feel like it was going to snap if he continued. Although Kris wanted to continue, the discomfort in his hand became too great and caused his hand to slip with the unwanted bang of different keys. It happened every time he tried to play, and still each time he was met with sorrow and disappoinment.

A loud noise came from the crowd followed by words. “Please keep going.” That someone said and Kris jumped. “You play very well. I want you to continue playing.” A random stranger had the audacity to tell him keep playing after displaying such ungraceful form. The hot lights from the stage were preventing him from really seeing this person, but he knew only the janitor would be here on a weekday afternoon. The man wanted to scream, yell, and tell the person out there that they didn’t have any right to be saying that (Kris didn’t know why he wanted to say that, it just felt certain). That same voice in his head convinced him that it wasn’t worth it so pulled the cover over the keys and walked off stage furiously.

Why did he get so angry back there? Was it because that person’s words reminded him of everything he used to be before the crash? More importantly, did they remind him of things Joonmyun used to tell him? Kris Wu didn’t have any answers, just a lot of questions. 



- Hello! Here's chapter 2. If anyone was interested in the pieces/dances I have and will mention in this story, I will link them to youtube performances so you can see what I'm talking about. Please enjoy!