It was hell. Absolute hell. You were so tired of being on crutches. So tired of being in pain. So tired of being in bed all day. And so tired of having to rely on everyone else. Despite how much everyone said they didn't mind helping you out, you still hated it. You felt like a burden. Hoseok hadn't left your side other than for small group activities that were mandatory despite being on an eight week break. They were mainly just press conferences from commericials you all shot, and you said you were up for going, but your manager insisted you rest and not leave the house, especially with the dating reveal not having died down. 

You were lying in bed, home alone, as the boys left for a magazine shoot hours ago. It was close to two am and you wanted to stay up until they got home. You played with the dangling charms on your bracelet and sighed, throwing your head back in defeat. You were about to give up and go to bed, when your phone rang. It was Hoseok. 

"Hi." he said before you could even greet him. "I'm sorry we're getting home so late. I'm driving home right now. Are you hungry? You must be. It's been hours."

Typical Hoseok. Always worrying about you. 

"It's okay. I'm starving really." 

"Mmm. Let me pick you up something. Anything you want."

"McDonalds." It had been forever since you had something from the popular fast food chain. 

You could hear Hoseok laughing on the other line. "A McFlurry does sound pretty good. I'll pick us up something and be home soon okay? The others should get there before me. Have them get your medicine if you need it, okay? And tell Jimin to stop playing with your crutches." 

A chuckled escaped your lips. "Thank you. And i'll be sure to tell him. See you soon."

"See you soon, baby."

Your heart thudded in your chest as you hung up the phone. Hoseok didn't call you pet names too often, but it wasn't uncommon either. Just enough to still make your heart flutter every time he did. You didn't realize you had been sitting there in silence until you heard the front door open and the boys all pour in. 

Jimin walked in to your room and laid face first down on your bed beside you. "I'm so tired. Please pet my head." 

You gave a small chuckle, but complied anyways, just glad to have human interaction again. "How was the shoot?" You asked while running your hands through Jimin's styled locks. 

"Long. I'm never shooting a makeup spread again. My face feels raw from all the brushes and the scrubbing and redoing." He burried his face deeper in to your blankets. "But your blankets are soft on my face. How was your day?"

"Boring. As usual." 

"And the pain?" 

You hesitated for a moment. Truthfully, it hadn't gotten any better and it had already been four weeks. Your follow up appointment was the next day. "It...it still hurts." you confessed quietly. 

Jimin propped up on his elbows, and put his chin in his hands. He could sense the worry in your voice. He was like your little brother. Annoying, but always knew when you didn't feel right. "Don't worry about it. Knees take time to heal. You still have four more weeks left. You'll be okay."

"I hope so." 

"Are you in here bugging her again?"

You whipped your head towards the doorway where Hoseok stood with a smile, and a large and McDonalds bag in his hand. Your face lit up. 

"No. I'm keeping her company. What did you get me?" Jimin pointed to the food bag.

"Nothing. Now go on to bed. I got it from here." Hoseok sat down on the bed beside you where Jimin had previously resided. He leaned in and gave you a small kiss on the lips. "Hi." he said softly. 

"Hi." you repeated back. How he was still able to take your breath away with the smallest things, you weren't sure. 

Hoseok held up the bag. "I got us nuggets

"No ice cream?"

"In the freezer so they don't melt why we eat." 

"This is why you're going to win boyfriend of the year award, you know that right?" 

Hoseok chuckled as he set out the greasy fast food cartons. "Why? Because I bring you food?"

"Exactly." 

You both indulged on the treat as you watched whatever odd shows came on at 3 am. You were snuggled up, just barely dosing off in Hoseok's arms when Yoongi opened the door. 

"Guys, you have to see this. I don't know whether to laugh or roll my eyes." He walked over to the bed as you sat up, trying to wake yourself up. He handed you his phone and it took a couple of seconds before you read the headline displayed in black bold letter.

"IS BTS (Y/N) PREGNANT BY FELLOW MEMBER J-HOPE?! WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS THIS?" You screamed, not caring who you woke up. You face was visibly red. 

"Keep reading."

"'BTS member J-hope spotted walking in to McDonalds around 2am and reportedly walking out with a to-go bag and ice cream. Netizens infer that he may be picking up late night cravings for pregnant girlfriend.' ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? WHO WRITES THIS? HOSEOK AND I HAVENT EVEN-" you stopped mid sentence as you now saw that other members had crowded around your doorway wondering about the comotion. You hid your face in your hands. "I'm pregnant. I swear. This article is bogus. Goodnight everybody. Sorry for causing a rukus." 

Everyon bid their goodnights, leaving just you and Hoseok. 

"I'm so embarassed I can't even look at you right now." you confessed. 

You heard the light chuckling beside you. "Why? There's nothing to be embarassed about?" 

"I literally just told the rest of our group you and I haven't...ya know." You couldn't even bring yourself to say it outloud. 

"(Y/N) I'm about 99% sure they already knew that. For one, it would be a bit difficult with your knee. For two, they know you. They know us." Hoseok ran his hand soothingly on your back. 

"Does it bother you?" You asked meekly.

"That we haven't had yet?"

You couldn't even speak. So you just nodded. 

"It doesn't bother me one bit. I know now is not the time. Is it something you're not interested in doing with me though? Because if not, I would be okay with that too."

You shook your head. "No, of course it's something I'm interested in...at some point. Just like you said, now is not the time for it. We've known each other for a while but we've just started dating not long ago. Plus my knee issue is worrying me and stressing you out probably. I can't even think about doing that right now." 

Hoseok pulled you in closer to him. "I'm only stressed out because I'm worried about you. I'm worried about your health and your well being. Not because you're stressing me out. And we can wait as long as you need, alright? Don't feel pressured. Lets get over this little speed bump in the road first, then we'll talk about it some more. For now, lets get some sleep. It's almost 4 in the morning and you have a doctors appointment later." He reached over and flicked off the table lamp before making sure you were comfortable. He settled in beside you before throwing an arm across your body. 

"Thank you Hobi." You said when everything was quiet. But he had already fallen asleep. 

 

You sat on the doctors table waiting with a pounding heart for him to come back with test results. you were staring off in to space, unaware of Hoseok looking at you. You originally told him he didn't have to ocme with you, but after hearing what the doctor just told you, you were glad he was there for moral support. 

Hoseok stood up and hopped onto the doctor table with you. His hand found rest in yours. "Take a couple of breaths. It's gonna be okay." He said calmly as he could manage, but if he were honest with himself, he was a bit nervous too. 

You took in a deep breath before facing him. "You don't know that. You heard the doctor. I shouldn't be in this much pain this far along in to recovery." 

"I know. That's why they stuffed you in that metal tube so they could do some better tests and figure out what's wrong. So they can fix it." He leaned his forehead on yours. "Remember, no matter what, I, and Bangtan, are here for you."

The doctor walked in no sooner with a large manilla folder in his hands. He walked over to the xray light board and clipped your MRI scan results to it so he could explain. 

"Unfortunately, these results are not good. The sprain in your ligament was infact not a sprain, but a tear. Those take much longer to heal than 6 weeks." The doctor began. You could feel Hoseok squeeze your hand a bit for reassurance. "Also, if you look here, you can see that your meniscus disk is torn in acouple of places as well. This would explain all the excess pain and lack of mobility."

You didn't like the sound of that one bit.

"Now, here's how we fix it. Your ligament will eventually heal on it's own, but will require another 6-8 weeks and physical therapy to strengthen it back up. Hoever, your meniscus will be a bit more complicated. Surgery will be necessary." 

Your heart stopped for a second. Tears began to stream rapidly and silently down your face and you turned it away from the doctor and immediately hid in Hoseok's chest, relishing in his comforting arms around you. You didn't like the sound of surgery. It scared you. And it meant more time away from Bangtan. 

"What happens after surgery?" You heard Hosesok ask. You were glad he was asking the questions you couldn't manage at the moment. 

"Well, we will schedule that in about a weeks time. Then it will take anywhere from 6-8 weeks before starting physical therapy for that too. Therapy will last 3-4 months." 

"Will she be able to dance after therapy?" Hoseok asked the question you really didn't want to know the answer to. 

"Well, it depends from patient to patient. If therapy goes well, I'm sure she can get back to dancing. But it will take a while before she's able to dance as much as she was before. And even then, it will likely give her trouble again down the line resulting in a possible replacement surgery. Do you have any other question?" 

You couldn't life your head up. You couldn't speak. And even if you could, you had nothing to say. You just clutched Hoseok's shirt tighter. 

"No, we're okay. Thank you, doctor."

"I'll let you both have a minute and I'll schedule your surgery. You can pick up the appointment card at the front desk. Take your time." And with that the doctor clicked the door shut, and you instantly burst into sobs. 

"Hoseok." Was all you managed to choke out. 

His hold on you tightened. "Shhhh. I know. I know. It's scary. I'm scared too. I'm so sorry sweetie. I don't know what to tell you. I wish I did. I'm so...sorry." His voice wavered and softened. It wasn't until you heard a sniffle, that you realized he was crying too. 

You pulled back, and seeing his red, teary eyed face broke your heart even more. You reached up and wiped away his tears. "No matter what, I'll always ahve you and Bangtan, right?" 

"110%"

 

Compared to physical therapy, surgery was a breeze. When you came home from your surgery, your room was filled to the brim with flowers, ballons, and cards from all of the members and people from the company. Unfortuantely, you only had 3 weeks of post surgery Hoseok filled bliss before the boys started back with their filled schedule without you. 

Some nights you had to say goodnight to Hoseok on the phone, but it was never more than three days before you saw him again. When you were finally able to walk (hobble) again, a few weeks later, therapy started. Therapy was not fun. 

You were yanked on, pushed on, pulled on and forced to do things that hurt for a couple of hours three times a week, and then again at home where you had to do your own exercises. And therapy was not going well. You were fianlly able to walk more or less without a limp, but your range of mobility wasn't quite all there, and you still had frequent aches. 

Your first public outting with Bangtan was two months after therapy and you were able to walk again. There was a mid year awards show, and the manager decided it would be good for you to go since Bangtan wasn't performing anyways due to not having produced an album for the year yet. You were ecstatic to get out of the house and back in to the public eye, but also frightened. It was your first time back since your injury. Since everyone found out you and Hoseok were dating.

You sat in your makeup chair getting touched up and resting before you had to walk the red carpet. You were in a hi-low gown, that did nothing to hide your knee brace. You felt it was ugly and in the way, but Namjoon said it just made you look like a badass. Thankfully heels were out of the question, and you were able to wear a pair of flat strapy sandals instead without compromising too much beauty of your look.

"We have to go. Are you ready?" Hoseok asked you as he offered his hand to help you up. You gave him a thurough look over.

"You look very handsome in the suit." You said sincerely as you took his arm so he could you down and outside towards the carpet lined with awaiting fans and photographers.

"And you look very beautiful in that gown. Are you sure you're ready?" he asked once again right before you stepped around the corner and to the carpet.

You let go of his arm and took you spot in line behind him at the back. "I'm sure. It's been way too long."

No sooner did those words come out of your mouth, Jin led the group onto the carpet.

The cheers were deafening for the boys as usual. You watched as they quickly filed out in a line, waving and smiling. You were next. You had to move, and suddenly those weeks of therapy left your brain and you momentarily forgot how to walk. You took in a deep breath and began your first slow, steady step out. Fans cheered, and the flash of the cameras intensified as no one knew you were going to be there that night. 

You slowly caught up with the boys and smiled with them for more rounds of photos. As you all moved to a tent to sign some memorabilia, you manager told you that you needed to have an interview with a certain journalist on the carpet, and pointed you in his direction. You made your way over with a smile.

"It's so lovely to see you again. It's been almost months now since you've made an apperance. How are you feeling tonight?" The journalist asked as he held a microphone to your mouth for the interview. 

"I'm so glad to be back, thank you. I'm feeling good! It feels good to be out here seeing every one." 

"We understand you underwent surgery a few months ago after your onstage injury. How are you healing up?" 

"I'm doing well. I'm able to walk better now, and therapy is really helping with my range of motion. I'm ready to be back in action!"

The journalist asked a few more questions before asking for some lone shots. So you agreed and stepped back a few paces and smiled.

After a couple of minutes of photos, suddenly you were pelted in the forehead with a small, but hard object. Before you could process what happened, you were being hit with them in a quick succession. When you covered your face from the assualt, you looked down at your feet. Rocks. People were throwing rocks at you. You immediately screamed out.

"Hoseok! Namjoon! Yoongi! Someone!" Your arms were stinging from taking the brunt of the hits of the rocks to protect your face. You heard angry yelling and were suddend surrounded by bodies and the roack stopped hitting you. When you looked up, all seven boys were circled around you, and leading you off as quick as possible in to the building. 

As soon as you were in the lobby of the building, you were sat down in a chair as bodyguards rushed to get medics. Hoseok was knealt at your feet with your hands in his as all the other boys still stood around your protectively despite being out of harms way. When you looked up, you began to cry. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. i shouldn't have come tonight." 

"Don't say that. You deserve to be here. We're tightening security on you tonight for the remainder of the ceremony if you want to stay." Namjoon's voice was stern and authoritive, indicating he was in leader mode again. 

You nodded your head. "I want to stay. I need to stay." 

Yoongi handed you a tissue. "Your bleeding. On your forehead." 

Your hand automatically went up to the stinging spot on your forehead, and when you removed it, your fingers were coated in blood. Hoseok's eyes met yours, and you saw something in them you had never seen before. Anger. 

"Guys, look after her. I need a moment." Hoseok gave you a quick kiss on the top of your head before storming off in a direction you were unsure of. You didn't see him again until it was time to take your seats, and then he didn't leave your side for the rest of the night. 

 

After the fiasco at the awards ceremony, your apperances were kept minimal with security around you constantly. You continued on with therapy, and you continued on with being frustrated with it. You went most days without pain, but you still couldn't move your knee like you needed to. You began dancing lightly again for rehabilitation, but it was never pain free nor how it used to be in longevity or skill. 

You had an extra two months of physical therapy added and you were currently on your last appointment with your doctor. Except this time, the boys were preparing for a concert, so you were alone. 

"You've come quite a long way and your movement is good, but unfortunately, with the extensive traetment and rehabilitation taken, I don't think you will improve any more." The doctor said reading over notes. 

"What do you mean." 

"I mean, I think where you at is where you will be from now on. Day to day life doesn't cause you pain but when you dance it does tend to flare up, correct? And it's been like that for the past two months without any improvement?" 

You nodded slowly. 

"I think it's time you consider hanging that part of your life up. You can dance for fun with your limitations, but I'm afraid the extensive dancing you do with the group will have to be eliminated. Even with a replacement surgery, you would still have a limited mobility like now. I'm sorry. But sometimes when a knee goes bad, it never goes back to normal. Give us a call if you have any problems or questions. I hope I don't have to see you in my office anymore." and the doctor left the room. 

Your drive back was silent. you kept the radio off, thining about what the doctor had said.

"The dancing you do with the group will have to be eliminated"

You slammed your hands against the steering wheel in frustration as you whipped in to the company's dance studio parking lot. "Eliminated. I'll be DAMNED." you yelled at yourself in the full length mirror as you stepped in to the familiar dance room you have spent many of hours in.

Familiar tunes flooded the room at full volume as you pushed through the pain song after song after song. You screamed in frustration as you just weren't able to hit the moves you used to. "WHY CAN'T I DO THIS? I DONT UNDERSTAND!" you slammed your fists against the wall as angry tears slid down your face. 

The next song that played had the rage bubbling in your gut at full force. You listened as the line you fell at played through the speakers, and you cried as your knee begged you to stop. When you failed another move, you crumpled to the floor in defeat in a mess of sweat and tears. You weren't sure how long you laid there screaming and crying and being angry while the music played on until it finally stopped. You didn't bother to even look up. 

It wasn't until arms were being wrapped tightly around you that you looked up. 

"(Y/N)! What are you doing? Have you been dancing?" It was Hoseok. His voice was laced with concern and you couldn't dare look at him or answer him. "What's wrong?" he asked frantically. 

You curled up tighter against him. "I...I can't dance anymore. The doctor said I HAD TO GIVE IT UP. HE SAID I CANT ANYMORE HOSEOK. I CANT. IVE DISSAPOINTED YOU. IVE DISSAPOINTED BANGTAN. IVE DISSAPOINTED EVERYONE!" You were full on screaming.

"Oh. Baby. You haven't dissapointed anyone. I'm so sorry. I'm so absolutely sorry." All Hoseok could do was hold you tighter and tighter as you cried and screamed harder and harder. 

 

It was much later that evening when you, the seven other boys, and your managers were all sitting in the living room. The room was dead silent as they all tried to listen to the head manager speak on the phone. By now, everyone was made aware of what happened at your appointment, and a meeting was announced. Hoseok's hand was laced tightly in yours, not daring to let go. 

The manager walked back in to the living room where everyone was waiting. "I just got off the phone with the CEO, and he's been making some important decisions. He's told me that...(Y/N) unfortunately, you are no longer to be a part of Bangtan."