Not Interested
Not InterestedWhen you arrived at the set of M!Countdown, you were amazed to see crowds of fans, waiting to catch the just the slightest glimpse of their favorite idol on their way from their car to the door. You took a breathe as your car– a regular looking, black SUV with tinted windows–slowed to a halt, reaching a parking space. Despite debuting just over a year ago, your nerves still had the tendency to build, and your stomach still flipped every time you walked on stage.
Your manager told you it would go away eventually, but you knew that it wasn’t likely.
The door on your side was opened and the squeals of crazed fangirls and boys rang in your ears. Another thing you thought you would never get used to; having so many people demand your attention. If you were honest, you were a bit surprised. Growing up, you were relatively quiet. Sure, you had friends, but you were never big on being the center of attention. When you announced to your family that your plan was to travel to Seoul to become an idol, you were met with laughs, but you followed through with it. After three years of training, you debuted with two other girls, creating a trio called Light.
You step out of the car, your sunglasses blocking only some of the flashes of numerous cameras coming at all angles. Thankfully, a path was cleared, making it possible for you to walk from your vehicle to the back door of the studio.
It wasn’t that you weren’t grateful for your fans. No; you loved them dearly, and you recognized the fact that they were the only reason that you were able to fulfill your life-long dream. Now, though, it was early, and you hadn’t slept well the night before, and you hadn’t even had a cup of coffee.
Really, the only reason that you got up without a fight was because your boyfriend promised you he would stop by the dorm for a while after your schedule was finished.
You were dating a non-idol. He was one of the first people you met upon coming to Seoul. Hyeonjun was man who stood at just over the six foot mark and made your heart flutter whenever you saw him.
Your group was the first to arrive, meaning you would be able to rehearse first, which provided you with some relief. Practicing always made you feel more comfortable. More prepared.
It wasn’t until you were done and making your way to your dressing room for hair and make-up that you ran into them.
BTS waited just off the stage, waiting patiently for their own turn at rehearsing. You couldn’t help but feel a bit overwhelmed. You loved these seven boys in front of you. Not in the sense that you had all their merchandise and attended every concert, but you admired them for their dedication and hard work.
Out of courtesy, you and your two other group members bowed, greeting your seniors with a nice and quick. “Hello” before moving out of their way.
As you turned away from them, making the trek down several hallways, you felt a pair of eyes watching you.
You looked back over your shoulder, finding the set of eyes just in time for you to see them flick away. Namjoon looked down at his feet, suddenly enthralled by his black and white sneakers.
You didn’t think much of it as you prepared for the performance.
________
You weren’t really expecting to win, so when your group’s name was called your eyes widened and you exchanged bewildered looks with the other girls standing on either side of you. A trophy, which looked like it would be much lighter than it actually was, was handed to Minah, the leader of Light.
You didn’t cry, but Minah was very clearly tearing up a bit, making it difficult to give any type of thanks. You took the job upon yourself, taking the microphone from her hand and turning to the studio audience. You couldn’t see anything, really, except for the shoes of the people in the first row.
Stage lights, as you had come to know, were almost always blindingly bright.
“Thank you for helping us make our dreams come true,” you started, taking a quick glance at the object in the hands of the girl to your left. “Really, none of this would be possible without you. We will continue to work hard and we will try to never disappoint any of you. Kamsahamnida!”
You received a tight hug from both girls next to you, which went on until the stage lights turned off and the studio went dark. Sure there was glow tape, leading you and the other artists off the stage and into the greenroom, but it only did so much.
You were thankful that no one looked particularly upset that a rookie group had won over them, and you were thankful for that.
Instead, you all stood around, talking and laughing with each other, despite it growing later and later.
From your experience, it didn’t matter what company these groups belonged to, as you all supported one another. Maybe it was because you were all in the same boat; stressed, tired, and overworked as hell. Maybe it was because they were all so…charismatic..
When you manager texted you, however, you knew that it was time to say goodbye and head back to your dressing room so you could prepared to go back to your dorm, eager for sleep.
You gathered Minah and Yeondoo, showing them the text. They didn’t seem too upset that they had to leave their friends. Everyone in that room was far beyond exhausted.
“I think we are heading out,” You announced, giving a small smile creating the impression that you were disappointed to be leaving. “Our manager just texted us and our schedule starts really early.”
Parting words came from all around, and you gave one last wave before leaving the backstage area.
You didn’t notice that someone else–someone who was not a member of your group–had slipped out the door behind you until they called your name and grabbing your attention.
It was Namjoon.
Surprised, you slowed your pace before coming to a complete stop, waiting for him to catch up, your eyes wide as you questioned him internally.
“Namjoon-oppa,” you murmured as he reached got to the spot in front of you.
Nervousness was radiating off of the twenty-one year old, and you became increasingly uneasy. Whatever the situation was, you knew it wasn’t going to be all that pleasant.
“(Y/N),” he panted. out of breath for having practically sprinted down the long corredor. “I’m sorry I don’t mean to keep you from leaving, but…”
They way he trailed off caused you to raise your eyebrows, anticipating what his next words were going to be.
“But…?” You repeated, dragging out the word.
Namjoon’s gaze just couldn’t keep yours. “But, I um…I have something to ask you. Will you…maybe…grab coffee, or uh…something with me? Not tonight, obviously, but..just when you aren’t…busy, I guess.”
Your face fell and now it was your turn to break eye contact. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to go out with him, but you did actually have a boyfriend. A boyfriend who you were very much in love with.
“Oh…Namjoon-oppa,” you said, treading lightly. “As much as I would love to get coffee with you, I uh…I actually have a boyfriend, so I’m going to have to um…pass.”
Pain flashed in his eyes, but he swallowed it down, trying not to look too defeated. “Oh,” he said, offering you a forced smile.
Your heart ached for him. Rejection was the absolute worst, and you knew that.
“Well..if you ever need to…get out, I guess…I’m here.”
You nodded, forcing a smile of your own. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
The air between the two of you were littered with awkwardness, making it difficult to stay, but you remained in place, fidgeted with the hem of your shirt, trying to avoid looking at the boy.
“I-I um…Guess I’ll just get….going, then,” you said, nodding a bit and turning around to continue on your way.
And as you made your way back to your dressing room, you could feel a certain pair of eyes watching you.
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