This story is the sequel to my JinYoon fic TRANE that was written for the third round of the tiny JinYoon FicEx. I was considering writing another one-shot as a sequel to it but I figured I might as well make it multichap and add all the other WINNER members in it. To those of you who have NOT read it yet and would like to read it, you can click this active link: TRANE

DEFINITION: changed in form, nature, or substance. (Past Tense)

Jinwoo waits until he’s certain that Seungyoon is asleep, when his breathing finally evens out and his arm around his waist goes heavy and lax. For a while, Jinwoo lies still, comforted by the rhythmic sound of Seungyoon’s heart beating as his head rested against his chest. It’s these nights that Jinwoo wants to keep forever, these nights when Jinwoo stays up in bed just watching his serene face.

While he sleeps, Jinwoo reaches out - brushing Seungyoon’s locks away from his face as his fingers gently ran over his features. Deep sorrow hangs over him, Jinwoo knows just how damaged he is, knows just how sick he is, knows just how wrong this is - wanting Seungyoon in the way that he does. He gently feels along his cheek, tracing Seungyoon’s jawline, desperately fighting the urge to replace his fingers with his lips.

It’s okay, Jinwoo tells himself, Seungyoon is asleep and would never know just how twisted and just how defiled he really is. He takes one last look at Seungyoon, cupping his face in his hands.

“Thank you for loving me.” He murmurs softly, running his thumbs on the rounds of Seungyoon’s cheeks. Jinwoo pries his arm off him slowly, careful not to jostle the bed too much as he slipped out of his warm embrace.

.

.

.

He can still remember that man’s words, how he cooed his name in a way that made his insides squirm as they coiled in anger, in hate, in frustration. And then there were his hands (reminiscent of Seungyoon’s but lacking its warmth and gentleness) moving inside his thigh, calloused and rough, as his mouth twisted into a sinister grin that he dreaded.

“Be a good boy. I’ll be done with you soon enough.”

Jinwoo wanted to scream but his voice dies down in his throat when Seungyoon’s face flashes in his head - smiling at him, calling his name, holding him and telling him everything will be alright. But it wasn’t, not this time, there was no way...not when his tears can only silently slide down his face at the burn, the intrusion, at the gasp that falls out of that wicked man’s lips.

“Move.” He orders, shoving himself deeper in him, his grip on his thigh tightening. “Hurry up.”

Jinwoo reels at the recollection, hissing as his fingernails dug deeply in his arms. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. He muttered repeatedly as he clawed at his skin, his head filled with dark memories too many for him to count. Seungyoon would never hear them, Seungyoon should never know.

The razor drags across his skin and Jinwoo had to grit his teeth to stop himself from screaming. He hasn’t done this since the day Seungyoon kissed him and told him he loved him. The pain heightens, so much more than it did back then but Jinwoo doesn’t stop, he couldn’t. Blood oozes from the bright red slash, dripping down into his legs and into the cold tiled bathroom floor. There was pain but there w