song: Everything I Didn't Say - 5 Seconds of Summer

"This is everything I didn't say..."

Jaebum put his microphone down. The lights dimmed until they were all turned off. He walked back to the dressing room where everyone was - his family, friends, manager, staff, and former members. 2029. They all thought they would go as far as the others. They thought they would live forever. Jaebum guessed forever is only a word.

Everything fell apart on that winter of 2025. Everyone was surprised when Jinyoung announced his departure. GOT7 celebrated their 10th year just last year, how could Jinyoung drop the news so calmly? They didn't say anything. Jinyoung walked out of their dormitory with only a luggage of his clothes.

"They will only bring memories."

Jinyoung said when Mark asked him if he would go back and get his other things. Mark knew there are so much more clothes than just that one luggage Jinyoung went out with. He shook his head, but respected the younger's decision nevertheless. With Jinyoung's departure, GOT7 can never be changed to GOT6. JYP Entertainment held them for a three-hour long meeting. In the end, they were put on hiatus indefinitely. For the members, that only means there will never be GOT7 again.

Jackson went on his variety shows, being the next top MC and running for the "National MC" title. Bambam and Yugyeom got admitted on universities again. Mark went on with his normal life before GOT7 started. Youngjae sings for OSTs most of the time. Jaebum debuted with his solo album. Thus, the concert.

Everyone was there - his family, friends, manager, staff, and former members, except one. Except Jinyoung. They all knew Jaebum and Jinyoung shared intimate years together. They all knew when it started. They didn't know when it ended. They didn't even know it will end. Jaebum and Jinyoung were just so perfect together. They had their off moments whenever both or one of them gets stressed out (mostly, it was Jaebum), but never once they had fought to the extent of break up. Until that winter of 2025. Until today, they do not know the cause of the fight - the cause of the break up, the cause of GOT7's end. No one blamed them. Everything's bound to end anyway. Even perfection cannot last forever, they concluded.

Jaebum sighs. He has everything - money, friends, fame. But everything just seems so useless. It was all useless, because Jinyoung is not beside him. That one person he thought he will last forever with left him. No one blamed them, but he blames himself. He blames why GOT7 broke up, why Jinyoung left. It was winter of 2025. Jaebum could never forget.

Under the covers, they were cuddling for the weather was cold and it was the only day off for the month. They were talking about life, about love about them. They stayed together under those covers, saying sweet nothings, telling how much they love each other. Until Jinyoung noticed, he was the only one talking. He turned around from Jaebum's hug and looked him in the eye.

"Why aren't you saying anything?"

Jinyoung smiled lovingly. Jaebum's stomach flipped. How could he do those things to this man he loves for so long? How could he? Jaebum contemplated if telling the truth is right. It was a two-time thing. Jaebum would never do it again. He loves Jinyoung. He only loves him.

"Jinyoung..."

He started. Jinyoung's smile faded, and his eyes show worry. Jaebum felt guiltier than ever.

"I love you. I'm sorry. I had an affair."

Jinyoung's eyes widened. His eyes watered. How could Jaebum do that to him? How could he tell him he loves him, then tell how he had an affair the next second? It was an act of pain. It was an act of anger. It was an act of misery. But the only thing Jinyoung has in mind is to walk away from there. To walk away from Jaebum. So he did. He packed his bag and went out of the dormitory. He left the dorm, GOT7, and Jaebum. It was hard to walk away from everyone and everything he dearly loves, but the pain is unbearable. And walking away is the only thing he could do to ease it.

He regretted it a month after. He regretted it the moment the news came out that GOT7 will be on hiatus indefinitely. He knows it means that GOT7 would have to separate ways. He called all the members, except Jaebum. He asked for forgiveness and time to heal his wounds. The members knew what happened. They all know it's just a phase from Jaebum and Jinyoung. Everyone knows they cannot stand not being around each other for very long.

But four years had gone. Never did Jaebum and Jinyoung crossed paths. If not for Jinyoung's parents, they will never know how their member has been living all these time.

"He's still healing. It won't be long. He'll be ready in a couple of months. GOT7 will be back."

Jinyoung's parents assured them. As much as they want it to happen, for GOT7 to happen again, they could not risk the hurt and pain that will reflect on each other's eyes when they finally see each other again. They knew all too well. Jinyoung cannot be not in love with Jaebum until now. They knew all too well. Jaebum never fell out. He steps on the stage alone everyday, wishing he has Jinyoung beside him, wishing s are together with him. He carries through everyday, thinking about Jinyoung who he never had any news.

The regret he is holding inside him eats him up everyday. He wrote it on a song, and his first solo track came out.

Taking every breath away
With all of the mistakes I made
From all the letters that I saved
This is everything I didn't say
I wish I could've made you stay
And I'm the only one to blame
I know that it's a little too late
This is everything I didn't say

He wishes he made Jinyoung stay. He wishes he didn't just stare out on the door when Jinyoung left. He wishes he said everything he has to to Jinyoung. He wishes it isn't a little too late.

Jaebum put his microphone down. The lights dimmed until they were all turned off. He walked back to the dressing room where everyone was - his family, friends, manager, staff, and former members. Except one. Except Jinyoung.

"Congratulations Jaebum! You're the best!"

His parents kissed him and told him how proud they are of their only son.

Is Jinyoung proud of me too?

His friends baked a cake to congratulate him on his first solo album. They sang for him, and had him blow the candles off.

I miss Jinyoung's cakes and pastries. How would it feel if I could go home and eat this cake with Jinyoung? I love his foods. I love the way he makes the foods. I love the way he cooks. I love him. I love Jinyoung. I still love him.

"Brother! Congratulations!" Mark, Jackson, Youngjae, Bambam, and Yugyeom all congratulated him with a hug. He returned the hug and smiled to each one of them. He counted in his head, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. He smiled to himself bitterly. He bowed his head down, tears threatening to fall. How could the strong Jaebum be this weak in front of these people? How could he be weak in front of Mark and Jackson? They'll call him sissy. How could he be weak in front of Youngjae, Bambam, and Yugyeom? He is their hyung, he should be strong for them.

Jaebum still had his head down. Brown boots stepped between his black shoes. He felt a hug, a tight embrace. Jaebum knew all too well he need not be worried if he cries. He need not be afraid to break down the facade he held for four years. Because finally, he's there again. He might not had the time to tell everything to him before. He promise to tell him everything starting today.

"Six."

"And seven."