Chapter 7

“Ah!”

It was a long, drown out scream that woke Donghae up when the sunlight started streaming into the room, lighting everything up. With eyes only half-opened, Donghae sat up and rubbed his eyes, thankful for the abrupt silence. With blurry eyes, he looked to his right and there was Hyukjae, staring at him as if he did not know Donghae. Only then, Donghae’s sleepiness went out the window as he remembered that Hyukjae indeed did not remember him.

“Mom!”

Donghae covered his right ear as Hyukjae screamed again. He pushed the white comforter off him and got off the bed, thinking it was better to keep a distant for a while. His mother-in-law came in at the next second, looking panic as her eyes ran wild searching for Hyukjae.

She breathed out a relief sigh when she spotted him on the bed, looking just fine, “What’s wrong, Hyuk-ah?”

Donghae, who was looking at his mother-in-law, saw the finger pointed at him by the corner of his eyes. Feeling lost himself, he shrugged before he chose to look elsewhere when Hyukjae’s mother turned to him. He felt rather than saw the warm smile she was giving to him, the one that showed understanding and pity at the same time. Suddenly, an arm was wrapped around his shoulders and Donghae was made to face Hyukjae again. 

“Hyukjae, this is Donghae. You know him, don’t you?” Hyukjae’s mother asked his own son while she ran her hand up and down Donghae’s upper arm, somehow comforting him.

Hyukjae’s head was bowed slightly and he looked at Donghae from under his lashes for a moment, his thick eyebrows scrunched together. Pushing himself not to look away, Donghae cocked his head to the side and lifted his own brows, trying not to look threatening in anyway. Hyukjae, who had his lips pressed together, nodded at his mother, “He’s my… husband?”

“Right! He was at the hospital with you since you were admitted, waiting for you to wake up. And you know that a husband place is next to his partner.” Hyukjae nodded again and Donghae could see his bottom lip jutting out. Hyukjae’s mother continued, “Good. Now, I will prepare breakfast and bring it up for both of you.”

“Mom, I can come down to have breakfast at the table. You don’t have to do that,” said Hyukjae, sounding exasperated. 

“No, Hyuk. The doctor said you might feel tired for a while, so, I don’t want you to exert unnecessary energy. I’ll bring it up and you will stay in bed, are you clear?” his mother looked at him sternly. Hyukjae crossed his arms and looked away, but not for long. His mother then said, “You two can have a talk for a while.” She let go of Donghae and headed out the door and both of the occupants of the room stared at where she was a second ago. 

Donghae scratched his nape and he noticed Hyukjae was doing to same thing. He stopped his hand when their eyes met. Both looked away and dropped their hands. Obviously, there was a thick barrier between them, encasing them in heart-beating silence. None knew what to say or do. 

Donghae sat on the edge of the bed, his back to Hyukjae. The sun streamed right into his eyes, causing him to squint him them. Feeling too uncomfortable by it, he got up and went to the window. Instead of curtains, there were white faux blinds and Donghae honestly never rolled one down before. Desperate to do something, he pulled the two strings on the right side but he frowned when nothing happened. Huffing, he took one string into each hands and pulled again, yet still the blinds did not come down. He glided one of the string up and one side of the blinds came down. He pushed the other one up and the other side slid down but one when back up. It was getting frustrating.

“Tsk. Let me do it.”

Donghae heard a set of footsteps coming toward him, “No, I can do it,” he whispered to himself with gritted teeth as he tried again and still the blinds kept being inclined. 

Hyukjae wrapped a hand on top of his and started tugging the string out of Donghae’s hand. Donghae did not want to let go, though. He would not be embarrassed like this. They tugged between them, both staring at each other’s face with a scrunched up look as the tug war continue. Donghae exerted one hard tug downward. Then, the string broke and laid limp in their hands. The blinds came down and covered the entire small window, only letting a few lines of light passed through in between them. The room was in a shadow state and Donghae and Hyukjae stayed staring at each other, a line of light on each of their faces. Only their eyes were illuminated and Donghae stared as if he was in a daze as both of their features softened.

“You… broke it,” said Hyukjae before he snorted, “Why am I married to you?”

Donghae blinked once, and then twice. For some reasons, he felt a hand wrapping around his heart, the same hand he had felt on his skin moments ago, and he felt squeezed. He inaudibly gasped, his breath hitching for half a second before his heart was let go and air came back to his lungs.

Donghae sneered, “As if I wished for it.” He turned away and headed for the bed, somehow not feeling strong enough to keep staring.

***

Hyukjae swore he saw a flicker of something in the man’s – yes, okay, his husband’s – eyes, especially when his husband’s lips parted slightly without any sound, and suddenly he heard back his own words. He realized how his words could have hurt someone and a blanket of guilt cloaked him. Then, the man’s words got to him.

He waited until Donghae sat on the bed before he said, “You… didn’t? We… didn’t?”

“No, we didn’t,” said Donghae, not looking at him.

Hyukjae scratched his head as he walked to the bed and sat, one leg folded under him and the other dangling off the bed as he faced Donghae, “Then, why are we married?”

Donghae crossed his arms on his chest as he glanced at Hyukjae for a brief moment, looking impassive. Sighing, he said, “Our parents. They planned it.”

“Arranged marriage?” Hyukjae’s jaw dropped and he covered his cheeks with his hands, “But I am so young.”

Donghae chuckled a little, “You’re not really young, remember? You’re twenty-eight this year.”

Hyukjae pouted slightly as he copied Donghae’s crossed arms, “No, I don’t remember. Amnesia, remember?”

“Fine, but do keep in mind you are actually not nineteen now, alright?” without waiting for Hyukjae’s response, Donghae proceeded to tell him what actually led to their marriage. Hyukjae listened whole-heartedly, nodded enthusiastically at some points, as he needed to know what happened. He was sure he would not betray his L.D.H. after all these waiting for him to surface again. In the end, Donghae’s story did elaborated on why they were married but not why Hyukjae accepted it. That part, Hyukjae guessed, only he himself would know.

“So, my dad saved your father. Oh! Your parents always come here to have dinner with my family! I remember them. They’re nice unlike – ” Hyukjae cut himself off.

Donghae looked at him, seemed skeptical, “Unlike who?”

Hyukjae looked around the room, clasping his hands together as he whispered to himself the word ‘you’. He looked at Donghae and grinned.

At that moment, mom walked in with their breakfast. Hyukjae saw the two plates, “Mom, I will eat here. He,” he pointed at Donghae, “can eat downstairs.”

Mom placed the food on the side table before she placed her hands on her waist and Hyukjae knew it meant trouble, “Lee Hyukjae, don’t be like that. He is your husband. Do you want to be chastised by me until your ears turns red like in your teen years?”

Hyukjae shielded his ear with a hand and shook his head. Out of the corner of his eyes, Hyukjae could see Donghae turning away and covered his obviously amused face with his hand, “Mom!”

Mom dropped her arms and smiled, Hyukjae noticed the tears beaming in her eyes, “I miss you, Hyuk-ah,” she said as she held Hyukjae’s head tenderly in her hand and kissed the crown of his head, “Eat and get well soon, alright?” Hyukjae watched as she caressed Donghae’s hair and he saw what a sweet smile his husband actually had – when he smiled and not expressionless.

They ate the breakfast after mom left the room. Just as they finished, dad came in to greet the both of them. He too kissed Hyukjae’s head, though Hyukjae had to bend to make it easier for him. Dad reminded him to get enough rest and not to think too much about anything. He also whispered to them, after telling them that mom had went out, that he allowed Hyukjae to rest downstairs while watching some shows he loved, “Donghae can help you get downstairs. You are not going to work yet, right Donghae?”

Donghae nodded, “Y-Yes. I might not go to work for a few days.”

“Then, just come down.” 

When dad left the room, Hyukjae turned to Donghae, “Shall we? I want to watch Intimate Note,” he looked at his watch, “It will start soon.” He stood up quickly, too quickly. His eyes blurred and he was thankful for the hands that held him up. When his vision once became clear, Donghae was standing in front of him, staring at him with something akin to concern.

“Careful. You are still weak despite you feeling differently. And, sorry to burst your bubble, but Intimate Note ended years ago. It’s 2016.”

Once again, Hyukjae was slack-jawed, “It ended? Why?” 

Donghae shook his head, “I didn’t watch it.”

Hyukjae shrugged off Donghae’s hands and headed for the door. He could hear his husband walking behind him. Hyukjae stopped right at the top stair and gripped the handrail, feeling his head heavy and so did his limbs. He was about to take the first step down when a hand grabbed his while an arm was wrapped around his back. Hyukjae looked at Donghae who was by his side now.

“Come on,” Donghae nudged him slightly and they walked down the ramp at the side of the stairs made specifically for dad. It seemed like his parents actually chose someone decent to be his husband, judging by how Donghae was treating him. His husband held him until they reached the sofa, and even then, Donghae made sure Hyukjae had sat first. He watched Donghae went to turn on the TV and he nodded to himself, actually approving Donghae to be his husband.

Then, suddenly, his mind wandered to L.D.H. who he had imagined to be a decent man as well. Maybe someone quiet and did not talk much, a loner most probably if L.D.H. remained as that shy kid Hyukjae met before. But Hyukjae still thought of him as a kind, soft-hearted boy yet vulnerable. Hyukjae could feel a smile stretching on his lips. He hoped, wherever he was, L.D.H. would be doing fine and living well. It was 2016, so L.D.H. must have grown as well. Hyukjae imagined what he might look like but before he was able to envision anything, he noticed a hand waving in front of him and as he focused, he saw a face. His husband's face.

“Hey, done daydreaming?”

Hyukjae cleared his throat and snatched the remote control from Donghae who held it out in front of him. Donghae sat on the couch as Hyukjae kept flipping the channels, seeing shows he never seen before. The more he pressed next, the more he felt forlorn. He recognized none of the shows. He finally stopped his searching on a show about fathers and their small children, giving up on finding anything he used to watch.

Mom came home and Hyukjae grinned at her as she shook her head when she saw them. She chased them both back up and asked them to shower and only to come back down for lunch in a little over an hour. Once again, Donghae helped him went up, this time using the stairs. There was only one bathroom and they fought on who should go in first. They argued and Hyukjae could see he was winning as he said it was his bathroom.

Donghae pulled his hidden card, though. He smirked and cocked his head, “Then, shall we just go in together?”

Hyukjae was honestly horrified yet at the same time, “What? No! Ew! No! Get away from me!” He went to the bed and hid under the comforter. He heard Donghae’s deep chuckle before the bathroom door was shut. He only came out when Donghae pulled the comforter off him half an hour later. Hyukjae sneered at him before he stomped his feet on his way to the bathroom. 

They ate lunch at the dining area along with Hyukjae’s mom and dad. 

“Hyukjae’s cooking and yours are really similar, mother. Both taste so good,” said Donghae before he took his second bite. He seemed genuinely liking the food.

Hyukjae raised his eyebrow while he looked at Donghae, “I cooked for you before?”

Donghae’s spoon stopped mid-air for a second before he brought it back down onto the plate. He nodded, “Yes.”

A grin started forming on Hyukjae’s face and he turned to his mom, “You hear that, mom? I can cook as good as you!”

Mom looked at Donghae and smiled at him. Hyukjae was puzzled by the act, especially when Donghae gave her a fake one back before he continued eating. “We’ll talk after dinner, okay?” Hyukjae nodded, feeling the almost sad atmosphere surrounding them all. He ate his food and then went back to his room after he yawned quite a number of times. Donghae did not join him and when Hyukjae woke up, he was not around.

That evening, they did talk after dinner in the living area, all of them. All of them sat down except Donghae who was outside the sliding glass door behind the sofa Hyukjae was sitting on. Mom did not seem to mind so Hyukjae did not either.

Hyukjae was told about him being a chef. It was explained to him how he became one starting from nine years ago, the last thing he remembered. Hyukjae almost could not believe his ears as his mom told him all about it. He knew it had been his dream to be a good chef just like his mom. Being told that his dream was fulfilled made him both thrilled and sad. He could not remember it, his experience as a chef or before that. He could not remember the time he went to the academy. He could not remember his first signature dish. He could not remember the first time he cooked at his mom’s restaurant.

Hyukjae turned and looked at Donghae with a smile on his face yet his eyes were burning; Hyukjae could not remember the first dish he had made for his husband.

It saddened him knowing that they were chances that he could never remember them again. It all hit him hard but he held back his tears. His mom and dad hugged him, assuring him with his words that it would be alright. 

Hyukjae grinned at his parents as he saw the tears in their eyes, “Hey! Of course it will be all right. I will remember again, definitely. Why are you two so worried?” He was always the cheerful one, the one with the bright smile all the time, the mood maker. He could not cry in front of his parents.

That night, in bed, Hyukjae had lied down first. When Donghae got onto the bed as well, Hyukjae immediately placed his bolster and pillows between them, “Do not cross this,” he warned before turning to lie on his right side.

“I don’t intend to,” he heard Donghae’s soft answer.

Slept came late for Hyukjae, though. He felt restless and he was half-sure it was because there was someone else – his husband to be specific  – next to him. Still facing away, Hyukjae pressed his lips together before he said, “I’m sorry… because I… forgot you.” Hyukjae did not know what he was expecting as an answer, or if he was even expecting one.

“It’s okay. Maybe it is a good thing.”

“Why do you say that?”

Silence.

Right when Hyukjae thought to give up waiting for an answer, he got one.

“Just because.”

They left their conversation there, opened for both of them to contemplate.

When morning came, Hyukjae woke up alone in bed, the pillows still taking the middle space of the bed. He did not find anything weird about waking up with no one by his side. He stretched his limbs before he got off the bed. He felt better and did not yawn as much as he did the past couple days. Probably because his oxygen level had risen up nicely. He went downstairs, his stomach grumbling. Just as he was about to enter the kitchen area, he heard his mom’s voice and another man. Hyukjae’s eyes widened, only then remembering Donghae. He smacked his own forehead.

He did not mean to eavesdrop on them but when he realized what they were talking about, he could not help himself.

“So when are you leaving?”

“Maybe after dinner?”

Hyukjae’s mom nodded, “Alright. If you think that’s the best, I won’t stop you,” Hyukjae saw her caressing Donghae’s cheek, that smile Hyukjae was puzzled about once again on her face, “It’s hard, isn’t it?”

“No, mom. It’s fine.”

Hyukjae ran back to his room after that and waited. He did not know what would happened but he waited in the room, waited for Donghae. It was worth it as Donghae came in soon after. Hyukjae, who was pacing, stopped and dropped himself onto the bed.

Donghae looked at him as if he was weirded out, “What?”

“You’re leaving?”

Donghae released a long sigh before he snorted, “You eavesdrop?”

“Not the point.”

Donghae cocked his head to the side, a smile adorning his face, “I said that to you before.”

Hyukjae blinked before he shook his head, “Why are you leaving?”

“I’m not leaving.”

“I heard you, remember?”

“I’m going back to our house. It needs to be taken care off.”

Hyukjae was so bewildered – like wow how long had they been married to even have a house together! – his jaw dropped, “Our house? Our very own house?”

Donghae sat down next to him, “It’s your house. I moved in on our wedding day. Right now, I’m going home to take care of it until you – ” Donghae abruptly stopped, hesitating, and blinked a few times before he continued, “Until you come… back.” 

Donghae was not looking at him, but Hyukjae knew just by his tone that Donghae was not sure of something. It seemed like he was not sure if Hyukjae would come… Home? If it was home, then definitely Hyukjae would come back. There would be no reason for him not to do so. Before Hyukjae could say anything, Donghae got up and went to the bathroom. A moment after that, Hyukjae heard the water running. 

Throughout the day, it felt as if Donghae was avoiding him. Right after he finished getting ready and packed the few clothes he had, Donghae left the room, not waiting for Hyukjae who was drying his hair with a towel. Breakfast was also a solemn occasion with Hyukjae’s mom being silent all the while, same as Donghae. When everyone was done, Donghae excused himself and probably was outside at the backyard since Hyukjae could not find him anywhere inside the house. When dinner approached, even Hyukjae did not feel like talking. His mom chastised him for playing with his food.

Hyukjae did not anticipate the time everyone had finished their food. 

Donghae was the first to got up from the table, followed by Hyukjae’s mom and then only himself. Hyukjae helped pushed his dad’s wheelchair as they all walked to the door to send his husband off. Donghae thanked his parents for being hospitable to him and bowed at each of them. Mom kissed Donghae’s hair after she told him she was glad to have him there.

It took a lot of effort for Hyukjae to look at Donghae, “Take care.”

Donghae nodded, “You too. Remember, try not to go out of the house unless you really have to. The police officers are around but you still need to take care of yourself, okay?”

“I know. Thanks.”

Donghae smiled at them before he walked out the door and went to his car.

“A husband place is next to his partner, Hyukjae.”

Hyukjae turned to his mom who addressed him, “What?”

“Aren’t you supposed to follow him back home? He is your husband.”

Hyukjae could not believe his ears. He pouted at his mom, “Yah, you don’t want me here anymore?”

A hand grabbed Hyukjae’s and he looked at his dad,  “It’s not that that, Hyuk-ah. Your mom and I are saying this for your own good. You are married, you have a husband, a responsibility. You haven’t even remember him as your partner. Can’t you see how sad your husband was feeling while he watched you in this state, son?”

Hyukjae stood there, contemplating. No, he did not think he saw a wave of sadness on Donghae’s face. There was something else that he saw but Hyukjae could not put a finger on what it was. But, his parents could be right. He might have made someone sad and Hyukjae hated doing that to someone the most.

“Then, what should I do?”

His mom placed a hand on his shoulder, “Do what is right, Hyukjae.”

***

Donghae walked to his car that he parked by the roadside. His steps felt heavy, as heavy as his heart was feeling. It felt like his heart had plummeted down to his stomach for being so heavy. No matter what, he still had to go back to the house. He did not feel right, sleeping and eating with Hyukjae again when he knew his husband was mad at him. Actually, the Hyukjae that remembered him might even feel disgusted by Donghae. It would be another betrayal from his part if he let himself live that way with this Hyukjae.

Yet, as Donghae got into his car and started the engine, his heart was still dragging him down, asking him to stay put. He gripped the steering tight in frustration. He needed to pull himself out of this state before everything got deeper. That was why he needed to be away from Hyukjae. Donghae felt as if he needed to learn to live without anyone caring for him again, needed to learn to live alone again. He did not want this heavy burden on him. It was getting too much for him to handle.

Donghae hurriedly rubbed at his eyes that were itching. He released the leg break after changing the gear to D4, ready to move away from there. Then he saw something and his foot stomped on the break to halt the car. Someone was waving at him and it was none other than Hyukjae.

Donghae was so dazed by the fact that Hyukjae waved at him, he gaped as Hyukjae got into the car and put on the seatbelt. He cleared his throat.

“Why?”

“Because it is the right thing to do. Let’s go back to our house now.”

Donghae drove out and headed for home. He was on auto-pilot mode. He could see the road and drove smoothly but his mind was in havoc.

Fortunately, they arrived at the house safely and gradually, Donghae’s thoughts and emotions calmed down. He watched Hyukjae got off the car and stared in awed at the house, his head nodding.

“Right, this house is definitely my style,” said Hyukjae as he waited for Donghae to unlock the door. He went in first and grinned as he looked at the living hall that was furnished with lots of white furniture. He sat on the white sofa, one arm thrown over the back of it, “Definitely my house.”

Donghae with his head once in peace after entering the house, sat on the other end of the sofa, “You still need to tell me why you suddenly want to come with me.”

Hyukjae’s grin widened as he looked at Donghae, “Because…” Donghae knew he purposefully dragged the word, “Just because.”

Donghae stood up, planning to have a nice, long and soothing bath before going to bed, “Well then. Good night.” Before he could walk away, though, a hand wrapped around his wrist and pulled him back down onto the sofa. He scowled at Hyukjae, “What?”

Hyukjae cleared his throat, “We have something to discuss about,” he paused for effect, “You know, I haven’t figure out how to address you yet. Don’t know if you notice, but I have not once called your name.”

“Just call me by name.”

Hyukjae giggled, his gums showing, “Well, that’s the problem. Hmm… How should I explain this? Hmm… You see, I have a thing about respect the elder. It is some sort of a complex where I just can’t forgive myself if I don’t show respect.”

“Not the point. Get to it.”

Hyukjae glared at him, “I am getting to it. The point is, despite you or anyone telling me I’m not nineteen and is actually a lot older, I feel nineteen. I only remember myself as old as nineteen. For all I know, I have only been born for nineteen years. So…”

Donghae cocked his head to the side, waiting impatiently for him to finish. But, this ‘I’m nineteen’ Hyukjae seemed to love dragging things out, “So?”

“So…” after a pregnant pause, Hyukjae said, “Can I call you Donghae hyung?” 

It took all Donghae’s will to make sure his jaw did not drop indignantly, “What are you crapping about right now?”

“Or maybe just Hae hyung?”

Donghae clapped his hand in front of Hyukjae’s face, making his husband focused on his, “No! I mean it.”

Hyukjae’s bottom lip was jutted out slightly, “But, you’re older.”

“Ha ha,” Donghae laughed mockingly, “In reality, you are actually older than me by a few months.”

Hyukjae stood up and leaned closed to his face, “Ha ha. In my current reality, that is not true. You are definitely older than me right now.”

Donghae got to his feet as well and stared deep into Hyukjae’s eyes, “I said no.”

“Too bad, Hae hyung,” Hyukjae stretched a wide smile before he sat back down on the sofa and the TV.

Donghae balled his hand and gritted his teeth. He huffed and ran the hand through his hair as he stared at Hyukjae with a brow lifted. He could feel that his life would be more interesting now.

Sorry if this chapter is a bit more boring than previous chapters. I slowed down the pace for this one. Unlike other chapters, this chapter focuses more on their relationship development rather than plot itself. Second, I am leaving you all with a bright bright sunny sunny ending of a chapter rather than a cliffhanger because I won’t be updating for the next two weeks. My exam started last Thursday and it lasts for two and a half weeks. Unless I get really really stressed by the exam and need to get away, I won’t be able to update. 24 papers all together and that is enough to knock me out. So, sorry in advance. I showered you all with cotton candy fluff with tidbits of angst in between so don’t ask me for cookies or ice cream.

P.s. Do you like the fluff? Do you like how their relationship is progressing?
P.p.s. Can you see the differece in Hyukjae’s characters?
P.p.p.s. I just hope you enjoyed it. I will miss all of you and will go through the comments every day when my exam stress me out too much. It helps.