“Honey, I’m home~” Jaehwan singsongs as he enters the apartment, taking off his shoes and leaving his bag on the floor. Only Wonshik is home, since his shoes are on the foyer. Hongbin is out for his shoes are not and he’s a neat freak incapable of leaving a mess; he’s been gone a lot these past days. It has come as a surprise that the youngest of their group is so invested in this bet.

No, enough thinking about this bet. His skin is stretched too tight and his mind is a whirlwind of betbetheartbreakbetit’snotworthitbetheshouldbetstop. It’s affecting him beyond limits, like he’ll explode at any minute.

Obviously suggesting the end of it won’t work; they will think he’s giving up because Sanghyuk the Director is too much to him, not because he’s starting to form a genuine bond with the boy and does not agree with what they’re doing anymore – he is a bad, bad person, who didn’t care about hurting someone until he started to care for them.

“Wonshikkie, where are you?!”

Wonshik swerves from his bedroom on his ergonomic chair – which Jaehwan steals when he’s on a binge – and shoots him a smile. “Here, sweetie~.” His voice sounds strained, though.

“What are you doing home so early? Weren’t you like, having lunch almost every day with alluring Hakyeon?” Jaehwan doesn’t need to be a genius to know something went wrong with precious, please I’m so beautiful and false Hakyeon. 

No one in the B1 can say Hakyeon has ever done something to them directly, not with the constant façade of gentleness and helpfulness he kept on most of the time. Jaehwan though, he knows who the beautiful dancer truly is, with how he practically reeks of condescension, the shine in his eyes putting everyone around him on a position below him. Each and every smile he gave away so carelessly was fake, so ing fake he wondered why no one could see it, Wonshik included. Wonshik, who is unexpectedly insightful and attentive.

Wonshik isn’t one to be fooled by such acts. Wonshik shouldn’t be falling for it; even worse, shouldn’t be seeing parts of the real Hakyeon and liking it.

“’Was supposed to, before he stood me up.”

“Poor baby Wonshikkie.”

He tries not to sound so satisfied by the situation and if Wonshik’s face is anything to say, he fails pretty badly at it. 

“Don’t sound so ing pleased,” Wonshik complains, crossing his arms, “you still got no chance of winning, .”

Oh yes, the ing bet. For a second he had forgotten about it.

“Watch me, .”

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Like he had thought, Jaehwan always makes things better.

Just this small exchange is enough to take his head off the frustration of having waited for forty minutes for Hakyeon to answer his goddamn phone, instead simply firing up his competitive spirit, make him want to try harder.

Honestly, he expected this bet to have progressed more than it has. When he took Hakyeon’s name two or something weeks ago, he thought as an already won situation; the friendly dancer, compared to the cocky director and the unreachable composer? Easiest thing ever; up his game, take him on a few dates, make out a little, have Hakyeon do the whole confession thing and voilà!, bet won.

He didn’t expect the dancer to play so hard to get, or for Jaehwan and Hongbin to manage the unmanageable, Hongbin especially; hell, he had never even seen the Ice Prince from close, never mind heard his so famed voice. How the hell he had made the dude search for him in the B5 – he asked around like Hongbin told him to do and , was he surprised – defied the laws of the universe. 

“Since you’re doing oh so well with the brat, leave us losers to plan another strategy.”

A shadow crosses over Jaehwan’s face for a second, it comes and goes, yet he sees it. “Humpf, good luck with that guy, I guess.”

“Who needs luck when I have these,” he flexes his arms, “and this?” he touches his face, “Hakyeon will be begging for a piece of this,” and finally, he points to himself.

He fights a blush when Jaehwan’s eyes scan the whole expanse of his body, taking his sweet time on his arms, shirt-covered abs and… uhum... crotch. 

Opening his mouth to hide the way he suddenly feels hot all over, Wonshik is taken aback when Jaehwan seems to notice what he is doing and turns to the right, entering his room and shutting the door with a little too much force.

This is something he does not understand; his hyung is someone who can lift any of his bad moods and brighten any room. He’s a bit hard to truly open up and tends to hide his bad moods from people around him, yet…

Wonshik thought they had gotten over that years ago. He and Hongbin moved to their apartment in their sophomore year, and were welcomed by a bowl-haired, glasses wearing Jaehwan who wore a shark onesie and neon pink socks. The oldest of the three had showed them the place and told them about the rules: no eating what’s not yours – something Jaehwan still didn’t follow – no mess on the common area – another thing Jaehwan didn’t oblige – and no bringing friends, girl or boyfriends or one night stands during the weekdays. Back then, Wonshik had been charmed by Jaehwan’s bright smile, waving hands and maybe, just maybe, had tried to initiate something… more, with the other boy.

It took Jaehwan an hour to notice his intentions, and another four to corner him against a wall and threaten to destroy his life beyond repairing; while Wonshik was sure he could handle him, the look on Jaehwan’s eyes convinced him to stop. It was months before they could be called roommates – Jaehwan always played with him and they went out as a group to drink after tests, yet Wonshik wouldn’t be able to say anything about Jaehwan past his happy-go-lucky persona and weird taste in clothing. They only became friends after Jaehwan thrashed his whole room after failing an important subject and Wonshik spent three days at his door with food and words of comfort. At that point in life, Wonshik had done his best to be seen as someone with no second intentions beyond the lines of friendship.

Slowly, Jaehwan began to open up to him. He spent hours by his side using that brilliantly creative mind of his to help him with his essays and took care of him when he got a nasty case of flu. He taught him how to act cute – there’s no such a thing as not having cute features, Ravi-yah – and gods, taught him how to hold his liquor. 

This feeling of something amiss bothers him. Jaehwan is bothering him with his way of acting!

Grumbling in frustration, Wonshik heads to his own room. He has readings to do.

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He thought the loud bang of the door would satisfy him, but it only makes him feel bad for suddenly flipping his on Wonshik.

He needs to put himself straight; doesn’t matter if he’s having an inner debate with himself. Wonshik has nothing to do… No, he has everything to do with all the that’s happening.

Argh, Wonshik is so goddamn infuriating. Why did he have to start this bet? Why had he agreed to it?

He’s never drinking again, even though he had already broken this promise by getting drunk few days after they made the bet. Of course he didn’t expect to, like, truthfully get involved with Sanghyuk. It’s not every day one gets to talk with the fearsome – ah! What a load of bull, the boy is like a giant chihuahua, a lot of bark and some bite – Director without the thought of all the nasty rumors that come with him. Even if they were true, who doesn’t have a skeleton or two in their closet?

Jaehwan certainly has his fair share of them.

Everything makes him remember the past; the intrigues of love, the wickedness of people… Oh, those were the turbulent times of his life. 

He glances at his end table, where a mirror lies disdainfully; his contorted expression stares back at him. 

“This, Jaehwan, is the past catching up on you.”

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A week passes and Hongbin is ready to throw the towel and accept his loss.

One entire week and no sign of Taekwoon, none, nada. 

A week ago Hongbin felt that victory was knocking on his door, with the whole Ice Prince appearing on his building in search for him, but now? He can feel the hole on his wallet and the snarky smirks of his hyungs. 

His luck was faded to end; no one had ever done – and partly succeeded, may he add – what he did. He approached the unapproachable compositor, talked to him, listened to his voice and had the amazing opportunity of hearing his angelic singing; seeing his beautiful face wearing something different blankness, the true and intense care he had for all the small kittens and puppies. For all that’s sacred, he got to touch Jung Taekwoon, more than once. 

Not only he had done all that, he still managed to get close to wonderful Youngji, had gone on a date with her. 

But now, seven days later, all felt like a fever dream. While he still talks to Youngji on the phone, the texts are few and far in between. He keeps waiting for her to give him a tip – girls are so complicated, they have too many unnecessary enigmas,’ nos’ that mean ‘yeses’ and he always trusted his face for the wooing part, not his ability – that she’s inclined to go on another date. 

Most of all, he waits for a sign of platinum hair and cat-like eyes, plush lips and long limbs. He stays behind every day to wait for Taekwoon, Caramel in his arms, eyeing the door for the college’s makeshift pet daycare expectantly. 

Maybe he’d forgotten Hongbin’s available days? He could have searched for him and failed to find him– No, it couldn’t have been this, last time he had waited and caused a huge commotion on the B5.

Had he gotten tired of Hongbin and decided it wasn’t worth it? It’s not like they had developed a beautiful, intense relationship in the very few meetings they had, despite what Hongbin thought.

“Mwrrooow~” Caramel meows, as if agreeing. She’s getting bigger as the days pass. 

“That’s some weird meow you have here, little Mel,” he runs his hand over the length of her body, chuckling when she sprawls all over his lap, a mop of orange and white fur, belly up. “Our Ice Prince is missing quality time with you.”

Caramel simply purrs like a mini truck, yawning.

“Don’t you miss him?” it’s not weird, okay? Everyone talks to an animal or two “me too, you know? Our Ice Prince is very hard to find.”

The kitten doesn’t seem to bother with his confession, rising to her paws to walk in circles on his lap; she kneads her little knife-like nails on his jeans and lays down to curl on it, closing her eyes. Hongbin watches her with a smile on his face.

Yet his mind is far from there, thoughts spinning around Taekwoon.

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“I’m thinking of changing my hair, wanna come with me?” 

Taekwoon lifts his eyes from the book he’s reading to meet Hakyeon’s. Then they move to Hakyeon’s bangs, the well-kept light brown and the light green highlights; it’s a pretty recent hairstyle, and he doesn’t see any need for it to change. His own hair is another story. Keeping the blond almost white is troublesome and expensive, and frankly, its length is starting to bother him. He’ll have to eventually change it anyway, with his role on the musical and so this is a good opportunity.

“Ok.”

Hakyeon claps his hands excitedly. “Great! I was thinking of doing something new, extravagant! Maybe dye it silver or blue! What do you think? Wouldn’t hyung look y with silver hair?” he bats his eyes in an attempt to look y, and fails miserably. “Like a vampire people will beg to their blood?”

“No,” Taekwoon rolls his eyes. He can be objective and admit Hakyeon is pretty in an exotic way, but he’d never feel attraction for him; just the thought of it makes him nauseous. Hakyeon is his brother.

So it’s because Hakyeon is his brother that Taekwoon knows something isn’t quite right. Years of being by his side made him an expert in all things Hakyeon and one of the oldest more prominent characteristics is without a doubt his perfectionism. He always wants to do his best and be the best among others. He was born to dance, but that never meant anything for Hakyeon: if he wanted to be the best, he had to work harder than everyone else.

Never to this extent, in which bags make themselves visible underneath his eyes and his complexion seems washed out, sickly. He’s never home anymore, and all he talks about is how he had to dance better, better, better.

“Is Hyuk-ah coming with us?” he asks, knowing it will hit a nerve.

As always, he’s right; Hakyeon loses some of his over the top – fake – enthusiasm, his smile going wan. “Hyukkie is… busy with a project.”

Oh, what will he do with those two? Seems like all they can do is fight and make up, fight and make up again. This time not even he is aware of what made the oldest and youngest of their little group fight, yet it is as obvious as the sky is blue that it is affecting Hakyeon the most.

Jealousy burns hot in his gut; is he Hakyeon’s second choice, the one who’s left? Why every time he feels like he’s in the middle of a lovers spat, the one friend that is used as a comforting shoulder or a willing ear? Neither of them comes to look for him anymore, not until they have a problem they need to complain about. He’s no fool, Taekwoon is counting down the minutes it’ll take for Hakyeon to start talking nonstop about Sanghyuk. Before he understood Hakyeon; Sanghyuk was indeed someone in need for all the attention he could spare, but now?

Now he doesn’t feel like he belongs with them. Not in the way they promised each other years ago: till the end of days.

“Oi, Earth to Woonie!” he startles when Hakyeon claps his hands in front of his face, “where were you, my prince?”

Taekwoon doesn’t answer, simply closing his book and getting up. He goes to his room to pick a coat and when he goes back to the living room, Hakyeon is already at the door, waiting for him.

He sighs, walking towards him; in his mind, he thinks of Hongbin and his undivided attention, and how he misses being the sole focus of someone’s eyes. It’s been a week since they’ve seen each other, and maybe the other boy has already forgotten him. With how things are, he doesn’t doubt it.

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“Hey, Sanghyuk-ah, can I ask you a question?”

The boy’s eyes bear into his, intense, but without aggression. “You’re already asking, dumb Ken.”

“Are we friends?”

Sanghyuk splutters and starts to cough after probably choking on his own saliva; he’d think it funny, but he’s in an especially somber mood today.

Jaehwan looks up, watching as leaves shake with the blowing wind. It’s been colder these days, and he regrets putting on just a light jacket over his sweater. 

“W-What kind of question is this?!” 

At Sanghyuk’s spluttering, Jaehwan feels a light smile stretch his lips. “Answer the ing question, Hyuk-ah, don’t be a coward.”

Sanghyuk leans back on his seat, crossing his arms in front of his body and putting on one of his more menacing scowls; it’s a very clear defensive posture. “’Suppose so.”

Coming from Sanghyuk, it’s almost like being given a friendship bracelet, Jaehwan imagines. At the same time the terse words warm something deep down inside of him, they twist his gut. Nausea crawls up his body and suddenly the cold wind doesn’t bother him that much anymore, grounding him to the moment, keeping his head clear. 

This is monumental. No, it’s ing monumental, okay? This is the Director from the B1 trio, a group of people considered untouchable, surrounded by outrageous rumors, and their own distant ways. This is a menacing boy who can make both his seniors and juniors do whatever he wants with merely a glare thrown in their way, someone that has barriers erected all over him. 

Him, Lee Jaehwan, has just broken into one of them.

“O-Oi, don’t let that go over your head, dip,” Sanghyuk seems to think that offending him is going to distract Jaehwan from the way his cheeks are ever so slightly pink. Boy, is he wrong, “What?! Stop looking at me like that!”

Jaehwan can’t stop the smile that stretches his lips, despite the pain in his chest. “You’re cute, Hyuk-ah.”

Sanghyuk splutters in indignation, losing his defensive posture to bang his hands on the table; from the corner of his eyes, Jaehwan sees some people flinching and getting up, too intimidated to know Sanghyuk is a drama queen over every minor thing. 

“Am not.”

“Is too.”

“Am not.”

“Is too~”

The younger boy growls at him, and Jaehwan adjusts his glasses with his middle finger, showing him his tongue.

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Hello everyone, how are you?

I don't have enough words to express how thankful I am for the words of comfort and kindness everyone shared with me. I've been better, but there still days in which I can't stand to think of much more than simply keep going.

This chapter refused to be written. I knew what I wanted, but the words wouldn't come. I'll get ahead of myself and apologize for mistakes of general bad writing. It's been a long time.

Like always, I can't promise I'll update soon, but know everyone, that I won't give up on this. I can't.

To be honest, I love every single one of you for not giving up on me and understanding what I'm going through. Your comments were an endless source of comfort on difficult days. Currently I'm going to therapy and taking some meds that help.

Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I hope to see you all soon~