“You’re staring again,” Jeonghan sighed heavily. And indeed, Seokmin was burning holes in the pretty, blonde head belonging to Soonyoung, or “Hoshi” as he was called in the club circle. He didn’t even bother denying and instead, he exhaled loudly into his beer, making a humming noise.

“I know. I’m pathetic,” he answered, and sent Jeonghan a smile that was meant to be apologetic, but came out as far too bright.

“You’re just shy. Stop being shy and just go chat with him. He’s been stealing glances the whole time.” Jeonghan fixed his hair, following Seokmin’s look, and gave Soonyoung a very obvious once-over just in time to see him turn his head and look in the direction of bar, where they were sitting. He stole a glance at the whiny Seokmin, and then interlocked eyes with Jeonghan, and quickly looked away, embarrassed.

“Everyone knows you have a thing for him, so just hit him up,” Jeonghan added, turning back to Seokmin, who lifted his face from the counter and pouted.

“He’s famous. I can’t just walk up to him and talk him up.”

“Yes you can! He’s not even famous. Just… Sorta known. You’ve talked with him before,” Jeonghan opposed, and Seokmin groaned. It was true, Hoshi had a couple of fans, and his dance group, the OMG Team, had more than three hundred subscribers on their YouTube channel. But their fame barely exceeded behind the city and some specific YouTube circles. Now, after they had won yet another dance-off organised by the Pledis club, they were sure to get more popular.

“Maybe, but he’s got heaps of fans now,” Seokmin whined, knowing he was exaggerating.

“Untrue. Besides, look. Seungkwan is talking with him just fine, you can go there too.” Seungkwan, their mutual friend, was indeed sitting in the booth with the rest of the OMG team, chatting away, making jokes and laughing loudly.

“Seungkwan is the club MC! He’s almost famous himself.” Jeonghan couldn’t help but laugh.

“The most fame he ever got was when he won the karaoke contest,” He retorted truthfully.

“Are you saying Seungkwan isn’t liked? Everyone loves Seungkwan!” Seokmin pretended to be outraged, in a successful attempt to change the topic, exaggerating his gestures but keeping his gummy smile full-blown.

“Ah, you know it’s not what I mean! I love Seungkwan too, that kid is too bright,” Jeonghan fussed, laughing his awkward laugh.

“Aish, Jeonghan, I should tell him you can’t stand him,” Seokmin kept bickering, smiling brightly. He took another swing of his beer, despite not even being old enough to drink. It was Jeonghan who bought him the bottle, under a promise that he wouldn’t drink any more today. After all, when the club was celebrating OMG’s victory, he had to make the toast somehow. Quarreling playfully, they didn’t notice someone approaching them.

“Hey, can I join?” Upon hearing the familiar warm, but unexpectedly deep voice, Seokmin turned his head around so fast he almost snapped his neck. Unaware of the reaction he caused, Hoshi calmly slipped onto a chair next to Seokmin.

“Ah, of course, please join us!” Jeonghan smiled widely and wiggled an eyebrow at Seokmin. Half of the bar knew about Seokmin’s big, fat crush on Soonyoung, but Jeonghan was one of the people who had to listen about it all the time. Seokmin only nodded, hoping his redness could be blamed on the alcohol. Only after Hoshi ordered a beer Seokmin gathered the courage to speak.

“Hey, congrats on winning. Your performance was really amazing,” Seokmin muttered shyly, as Jeonghan stayed suspiciously silent.

“Ahh, thank you! I didn’t think we’re gonna win with our choice of song,” Soonyoung admitted with a slight blush. Most of the groups chose trap, beat-heavy mixes, or hiphop songs shooting for the tough and strong concepts. OMG however chose a popular bright, bubbly pop song with fast rap, deep bass and high octave vocals. Their performance was powerful as usual, even if their upbeat song and choreography didn’t suit everyone’s tastes, they still one-upped everyone in terms of dancing skills.

“But you totally rocked the stage!” Seokmin smiled and hit Soonyoung’s arm lightly. “But it was a bit of shock when you came up in this,” he said, tugging at his hoodie.

“Ah, I know. It was Chan’s idea, actually. But I guess it paid off, huh?” The entire OMG Team was dressed in matching outfits - various shades of ripped jeans with bright ribbons tied to the belt loops, comfortable dancing sneakers, and white mesh tops. The only thing they all had different was sleeveless hoodies, Hoshi clad in bright lemon yellow, while the other members rocked hot pink, cyan and lime. In the middle of the performance, they zipped the hoodies down revealing the mesh tops just as the uv light , making it really pop with their sneakers and the glitter they had dusted on their cheeks and hands.

“It totally did. Even if you’re making everything sparkly now,” Seokmin laughed, and used the topic as an excuse to touch Soonyoung’s hand, scraping some of the leftover glitter off, and smearing it on his arm.

“Ah, don’t get me started on the glitter!” The other laughed, wiping his cheekbones, only spreading the makeup further instead of wiping it off.

“It looks great, come on, Soonyoung,” Seokmin laughed again. He didn’t even realise how non-awkward he felt until Hoshi’s smile faded down a bit and he got anxious all over again. “Ah, sorry, should I not call you that?”

“No, no! Please. Soonyoung is great,” he reassured Seokmin quickly, with a slight blush. “I was just surprised you know my name. Everyone here calls me Hoshi.”

“You don’t like it?” Seokmin asked, confused.

“I do. But from you, I think I prefer Soonyoung.” Seokmin wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean, but he felt his cheeks heating up. He took another swing of the beer, thinking that it was either going to his head much faster than before, or Soonyoung’s presence affected his thought process severely.

“Aren’t your friends waiting for you?” he asked after the silence drew on far too long for his liking.

“They aren’t. They’re doing fine.” Soonyoung looked over to the booth where the team was laughing and playing. Only when he saw Jeonghan laughing with them he realised he never noticed him leaving. Thanking him inside his head, he turned back to Soonyoung.

“Hey, want to go somewhere quieter?” Soonyoung offered suddenly, already getting up from his chair. Seokmin nodded. They both grabbed their beers and left the main room.

It was already November, so a stroll around the park was out of question if they wanted to talk comfortably, without their fingers freezing. The smoking room was also filled with not only smoke but also people. Ultimately, they found a quiet place near the toilets, a small staircase leading to some employee only room. The stairs were of questionable comfort, but the music wasn’t drowning out their words anymore. It was Seokmin who first broke the silence.

“Aren’t you tired after all this?” Seokmin gestured to the club scene behind them with his beer.

“Nah. In fact, I think I’m gonna go dance more,” Soonyoung answered cheerfully, but he leaned back as if against his own words.

“I heard you also sing?” Seokmin inquired. He heard that from Seungkwan a long time ago, and it had been bugging him ever since. He didn’t want to pass up on an opportunity to finally ask Hoshi himself. Before, they had only exchanged fistful of words, and this was their first time properly talking.

“Ah, who told you that? Seungkwan? I bet it was Seungkwan.” Seokmin almost denied that, but Soonyoung didn’t wait for an answer. “I kind of do, but not that much. I prefer to dance.”

“If I asked you,” Seokmin started awkwardly, and downed half of what was left of his beer to gather the courage to ask the rest. “If I asked you, would you sing for me?” In the back of his head he realised he had no right to ask for something like that, but he blamed the bravado on the alcoholic buzz.

“Only if you sing for me first,” Soonyoung answered with a wide smile, and wiggled his eyebrow slightly. Seokmin thought that under sharp, white light he looked extremely different. The white glitter on his face wasn’t as mesmerising anymore, standing out less. His complexion seemed pale now, veins visible where his arms flexed.  His mesh top was suddenly very revealing, showing a very muscular, but surprisingly not thin stomach, with a pale trail of hair leading to his groin. Seokmin prayed to god the older didn’t notice him passing a glance in that direction, and just to do anything, he nodded.

“Fine, but don’t be disappointed.” Soonyoung mock-hit him and whined in reply.

“Come on, I won’t be. You’re Mr Karaoke!” Seokmin giggled. He was called that sometimes because of his notorious solos at the Pledis karaoke nights.

Seokmin panicked. He tried to come up with a different song, he really tried to. But the only tunes he had in mind were the embarrassing love song that always made him think of Soonyoung, and music from the second level of Mario Bros.

“To be honest, from our first meeting, saying I like you wasn’t an easy thing for me to do. If I don’t approach you first, I’m afraid I’m gonna lose you. I wrote a message and erased it, I keep doing this repeatedly,” He gave in and started singing the first one, hoping that Soonyoung won’t take it for the confession it was. He couldn’t bring himself to continue, knowing how lyrics would go from there, so he forced out a voice crack, and laughed. “Ah, I guess that’s it. Your turn now.”

“Ah, that was such an old song… Okay, so…” He looked indecisive for a second, and then his expression changed to a playful one.

“Wife, dear, baby, what should I call you? What is my love doing right now? Did she eat? Did she sleep well? All day I only think about my princess!” He sang in the characteristic trot voice, and Seokmin couldn’t help but laugh out loud, almost knocking his beer over.

“Yah! Don’t laugh! It’s serious!” Soonyoung gushed, but he was laughing as well.

“You have a great voice though,” Seokmin stuttered between outbursts of laughter. He was thankful for Soonyoung’s song choice. It not only made the atmosphere lighter, he was sure that if Soonyoung had decided to sing anything else, Seokmin wouldn’t be able to hide how much harder it made him fall in love.

“Thank you, thank you!” Soonyoung mock-bowed.

“Seriously, just how many talents do you have?” Seokmin slapped Soonyoung’s knee lightly, getting careless with his actions now that the buzz was hitting him better.

“I can also do taekwondo!”

“No way.”

“Yes way! I was a child prodigy! I even won district championships once!” Soonyoung answered, and punched the air a couple of times to prove his point, while Seokmin hollered in excitement. Just as he stood up and kicked the air, two girls walked out of the toilets and passed him a judging look. He rushed back to the stairs embarrassedly, while Seokmin laughed so hard he was pretty sure he was going to pull something.

The girls walked away to their own business, and Seokmin finally calmed down. Still smiling, he looked over to Soonyoung, but the other was suddenly not bright and happy at all.

“What happened?” Seokmin asked hesitantly, and instead of answering, Soonyoung grabbed Seokmin’s left forearm.

Seokmin felt his guts turn and twist into a knot painfully. He realised he had got too careless and pushed the sleeves of his cardigan back, revealing his forearm, currently covered with very visible shallow, brown scars and even more visible maroon scabs. He realised that Soonyoung must have seen this. A number thoughts rushed through his head. About how now Soonyoung would be disgusted, make fun of him, or maybe pity him. Tell everyone, too. But then Soonyoung softened his grip and pulled Seokmin closer, and when he spoke up, his voice was smooth and soft.

“I didn’t know you’re a cutter.” Seokmin shivered at the word. He didn’t like it, he didn’t think of himself as of a cutter. He just occasionally had no better way of letting the emotions out than by scratching and slitting his skin. He didn’t want it to define him.

“This is nothing. Please, ignore it.” He tried to pull his hand away, but Soonyoung’s grip, however soft, was unrelenting.

“I guess it’s true, what people say. The ones who smile the brightest are those who suffer the most.” Soonyoung couldn’t turn his eyes away from the scars, now grazing them gently with his thumb.

“Ah, don’t be so overly dramatic. Please.” Seokmin was desperate to downplay the issue while he still could.

“Listen, Seokminnie… Can you do something for me?” Finally, Soonyoung released Seokmin’s hand, and reached to his pants to untie one of the ribbons he got attached to the belt loops. Seokmin moved away instinctively, and only nodded in answer, seemingly forgetting how to speak. He picked a cobalt blue one, and then gestured at Seokmin to give back his hand. Hesitantly, the younger obeyed.

Slowly, with a stern expression, Soonyoung wrapped the ribbon around Seokmin’s wrist, and then tied it into a secure knot, finishing with a bow. He seemed to hesitate for a while, but then gave it a peck.

“This,” He said, grabbing Seokmin’s attention.

“Hm?” He answered, trying to shake off the confusion and embarrassment.

“Do not open before Christmas.” Soonyoung tried to smile, but it was only a faint shade of his trademark 10:10 smile.

“What do you mean?” Seokmin stuttered out.

“If I could possibly see your wrist intact, it would be a great Christmas present for me,” Soonyoung said with a shy smile, as if understanding Seokmin’s silent plea and also trying to make the whole issue less serious.

“So don’t open it, untie it, cut it open, or slip it off until it’s Christmas. Okay? Then I will give you something better.” He didn’t say the exact words, but it was obvious what he really meant. That it didn’t matter if it was on the wrist or somewhere else, Seokmin wouldn’t hurt himself.

“It’s just two months. Can you do it for me?” Soonyoung asked, looking Seokmin deep into the eye, and that’s when he realised he hadn’t said anything for a long time.

“What if people ask me about it?” Seokmin gestured to the ribbon with his eyes. Soonyoung wanted to answer that if nobody asked about the scars, nobody would ask about the ribbon, either. Instead, he untied another ribbon from his pants, this time a light green one, and tied it around his own wrist, using his teeth to pull the knot tightly.

“Here. Now we both have it. You can say it’s the latest fashion trend.” Hearing this, Seokmin couldn't help but chuckle.

“Yeah, we’ve got such good fashion sense.” He already pulled his sleeves back down, but the blue ribbon was peeking from underneath, somewhere between blending seamlessly into his outfit and catching attention.

“So, do you promise?” Soonyoung was persistent.

Seokmin already knew his answer before he opened his mouth to speak. How could he say “no” when his crush was staring him right into the eye with such a concerned look? He didn’t ask Soonyoung why he cared, why that one particular wrist was so important to him. He didn’t ask Soonyoung why he thought they were going to still be talking after two months time. He was worried the answer would not be one that he’d want to hear. Instead, he just sighed heavily.

“I promise.” Seokmin smiled faintly, but honestly, before changing the subject to something much more light.