Rain falls lightly from the sky and a breeze blows in from whatever direction Joohyun can't even comprehend right now. The weather girl’s been going on about monsoon rains and thunderstorms all week. Even the app on her phone says it’s going to pour out today. What will pour out, she’s not really sure. There's just too much going on in her head at the moment. Mostly thoughts about how she really shouldn't be doing this to herself.

But what can she do when Seungwan calls her at six in the morning to ask for a favor (a favor that, she should've known, meant seeing her off at the airport)? This is emotional suicide. This anxiety is something she’s never felt before. Now, it just feels so much like she's on the taxi ride to her doom when she’s actually just going to the airport.

Joohyun lifts her head up for the first time since getting on the cab. She doesn’t want to look at Seungwan beside her, doesn’t want to look at her knowing that she won’t be seeing her for a long time after this. Joohyun doesn’t want to look at her. But when she hears her sniffing, she can’t help it. She sees her wiping away tears with the edge of her sleeves.

“I yawned.” Seungwan says, when she sees her looking, laughs. “I’m still so sleepy.”

Joohyun doesn’t say anything, looks down on her hands again.  

Their cab pulls over by the entrance. Seungwan hands the driver their fare before getting off while Joohyun busies herself with Seungwan’s luggage, hoping that it could distract her but it doesn’t. If anything, Seungwan’s heavy luggage just adds to the heaviness in her heart.

"I'm sorry about this, unnie. You were just the only person I could think of." Seungwan says to her, smiles apologetically. “It’s so early in the morning and I’m bothering you.”

She only shakes her head at her, wants to say that it's okay. But that would be too much of a lie even for her because nothing's okay. If Seungwan weren’t leaving, then it’s okay. But she is.

They walk inside the building without talking. The sound of the wheels of Seungwan's carrier bag gives off a feeling of dread. Every step feels like a walk to the gallows for Joohyun. When Seungwan starts to babble, she feels her heart break even more, slow and one hundred thousand times more painful.

"Seulgi doesn't want to say goodbye. She's still a bit raw on all of this." She laughs nervously. Joohyun smiles bitterly. "It's charming, really. Her stubbornness. But it's good that we didn't fight anymore. We finally found a common ground of a sort."

Her voice is cheery but Joohyun knows it's a front. How can she not when Seungwan looks so much like she would break down any moment? If she closes her eyes, will it help?

"Long distance relationship. Do you think it'll be difficult like everyone says it would be, unnie?"

But even a simple task as that is not wise. Contrary to what she felt minutes ago in the cab, she’s afraid that Seungwan might disappear if she blinks even for a second.

"Seungwan," It’s unavoidable. Joohyun has to take things head on.

"Yeah?"

"You know that you don't have to pretend to be anything when you're with me, right?" She frowns.

"Of course." Seungwan nods, enthusiastic.

"So why are you pretending to be all right?" She watches that smile falter, sees her eyes shake.

"I just thought it would make leaving easier." Seungwan replies with a shrug. "But it doesn't. I'll stop."

They become silent again. Seungwan walks up to the counter to get checked in. Joohyun wanders by the huge windows that overlook the tarmac. She purses her lips, frowns at the airplane outside the window. It looks back at her with its pointy nose high in the air, mocking her. How despicable.

"Just to get it out of the way, you know that I ing hate you, right, Mr. Airplane?" Joohyun says. "I really do."

Seungwan comes up behind her, throws her arms around her in an embrace. Joohyun sighs, wants so much for the time to stop right here, right now. Can't she live in this moment forever? Can't Seungwan just stay?

"This is it. Thanks for everything, Joohyun unnie." Seungwan pulls back, grips the handle of her carrier. "Take care of yourself. I'll take care of myself too." She smiles. Joohyun frowns.

Does Seungwan really expect her to be all right with hearing those words? 'Take care of yourself. I'll take care of myself too'? That's what she has to say when this very well may be the last time they will see each other? Joohyun can’t take it anymore.

"Okay, stop for a moment." Joohyun feels herself breaking, piece by a piece. A tear falls. She wipes it away. But then another one falls, and another one, and another one until she's completely crying.

"Look, Seungwan. Don't... don't go." Seungwan looks down on her shoes. She's crying too, a little less intense than Joohyun is, but still crying.

Joohyun wills herself to calm down enough to say the next words.

"Let's go back to the dorm and unpack, huh? I'll even take you to see a movie later! I'll let you pick. I don't care if it's French or German or English or ing Latin. Please?" Joohyun looks at Seungwan but Seungwan can’t even look back at her. She can’t even say anything.

"It's raining and the wind's pretty strong too. It'll be dangerous for you to go now. Do you even have to leave now? I mean, you're still young. You have all the time in the world. You have tomorrow too. So don't go now. Don't go now."

At this point, there is no denying it, no mistaking it - Joohyun is terrified of being away from Seungwan. She doesn’t even care anymore about this thing called pride that she so much wanted to protect when Seulgi told her that she was confessing to Seungwan, when she found out that Seungwan was leaving. She’s done pretending to be strong and uncaring because she’s not strong and she needs Seungwan because she’s in love with Seungwan. In that moment of pure desperation, she stares out the window. She would say anything to get Seungwan to stay, even if she would sound crazy.

"Hey, Mr. Airplane! Tell her not to go, won't you?" Seungwan still can't say anything, just sobs into her hands. "Just for one more day. Just for one more hour. Can't you?"

Out of the craziness of it all, Seungwan laughs. She stops crying and just laughs. She's laughing at Joohyun's attempt. It's not meant to be cruel. But why is it?

"Unnie, you sound like Seulgi." She says, smiles weakly. Joohyun doesn't know what to say to that. "This is exactly why I didn't want Seulgi to see me off. "

"So why did you ask me?" Joohyun asks because, clearly, it's not so she could stop her.

"I knew you'd give me another reason to come back." She replies as if it's simple. As if Joohyun will be all right after hearing that.

Can Seungwan really leave after all the pleading and crying Joohyun did?

Apparently, she can. It's cruel. And tragic. It really is.

Joohyun’s mind is blank and it’s as if her soul has left her as she watches Seungwan go after giving her one last hug.

She feels empty as she walks out the doors of the airport. She feels nothing. She can't feel anything. Numb and lifeless. Her feet drags as she walks, walks without looking where she's going. It's only a matter of time before she bumps into someone and sure enough, she does.

A pair of hands grips her by the shoulder and she looks up.

"Joohyun unnie," The voice sounds relieved but urgent at the same time.

"Seulgi..." She softly calls.

"Seungwan... did she...?" Seulgi looks hopefully at her and she hates to be the one to let her down but there’s no helping it.

Joohyun nods slowly and Seulgi's face falls. She drops her hands to her side, takes a deep breath but as she prepares herself to say something, Joohyun loses it.

She falls to a sitting position on the ground, hugs her legs tight, and just weeps. She cries her heart out – tears, snot, and so much more. Seulgi’s heart breaks at the sight because she knows what Joohyun is going through. It even feels like Joohyun is reading her mind and saying things out loud for her because she feels the same thing – regret.

"I should have done everything I can to stop her." Joohyun lifts up one hand and hits herself on the head once, twice.

Seulgi catches that hand and pulls her up with it, embraces her and rubs her back to soothe her. It works to some extent because Joohyun falls silent and stops. Seulgi keeps quiet and waits for her to say something, anything to let her know that it’s okay to let go now.

"I should have told her..."  Joohyun mutters. "You were right, Seulgi."

"Hmm?"

"You were right. I like Seungwan too." She says, loud and clear this time. Seulgi just smiles.

“I know, unnie. I’ve always known.”

--

Seungwan. Son Seungwan with her warm smile, steady concern, and unbelievable kindness. She must’ve been the glue that kept Seulgi and Joohyun together because since that the day at the airport, Seulgi’s never around anymore. Joohyun can’t possibly blame her. It’s probably really awkward being around someone who admitted to liking your girlfriend. If it were her, she’d do the same which says a lot about their relationship.

Graduation comes but not fast enough for Joohyun. There was too much drama for it to be fast enough. She quit that production she was supposed to star in and never found the drive to do other productions after that, focusing only on other requirements like exams and term papers. Where was the drama in that? It was in the hours spent crying, in the days that have gone by without talking to anybody and in the nights waiting and waiting for sleep to come over.  Seungwan kept her sane. Without her, she’s just a mess of emotions. She wished she knew that sooner. If she had, she never would have let her leave. She would have at least told her how she felt. But there’s no point to that now, six months later. It’s cruel how time can change everything.

Now, it’s three months into the new semester. Joohyun was able to get a teaching gig at her department and she’s still around, much to Sooyoung and Yerim’s delight since the travel club has been struggling since they can all remember and they all have to make do with what they have (in terms of friends).

And so today is one of those days when Joohyun just can’t help but miss everything. The corridor leading to the clubroom seems welcoming, not lonely. Her footsteps echo all around the place and make her heart race at the thought of finding her friends inside. She reaches the door and pushes it open, it does so with a creak.

Ah. This room. This is where she felt the happiest and the bravest. It’s also where she felt the complete opposites of those. Thinking about it now, this room was the only thing that didn’t change - the battered couch pushed to one side, the discolored bean bags, the table at the center of the room, and the photos on the wall. Joohyun finds herself gravitating to that side of the room.

Her eyes scan every picture there. Pictures that were there before she was in the club and pictures that were taken after she joined. Pictures of her and of her seniors and of her juniors. But her eyes stayed on one particular photo.

In this photo, she stands next to Seungwan who stands next to Seulgi and they have their arms linked together. She has to blink twice, knowing that this picture is supposed to be with her.

The door to the room opens wider at same time she spots the golden necklace with a tiny airplane pendant hanging by one of the hooks on the wall. She isn’t left with time to think. Not when Seulgi’s already leaning against the door frame and standing next to her is Seungwan.

“Joohyun unnie,” She feels her heart start to beat wildly in her chest. “How have you been?”

-------------------------

A/N: I'm really sorry for taking so long to update. In a way, when I started this story, I felt like I was biting off more than I can chew. I'm really sorry for not delivering through. I may or may not write another chapter. So sorry. - Bluekimchi