A/N: I owe y'all a lot for not updating for a long time. Please do forgive me. - Bluekimchi

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Joohyun feels empty. Is there any other way to put it? It's been over two weeks since their club went to that trip. This is probably the longest time she hasn't seen either Seulgi or Seungwan since they all became friends.

Sooyoung tells her that the two have been hanging out at the club room more often than they did before. She doesn't really know. She hasn't been there for what feels like ages. She's been busy with rehearsals. Well, that and she's not really ready to see Seulgi and Seungwan and see them as a couple (assuming that things worked out well with the former's confession). That should be enough reason for her to stay away from the club room.

But today she has to go to exactly there because she can't risk getting yelled at by the director again for not having her script with her. The stage manager did give her a new copy but her first copy has detailed notes and highlighted parts she went over with the director before. So she needs that copy and that copy just happens to be in the club room. Oh, what luck she has (she’s being sarcastic, of course).

There isn't anyone there when Joohyun comes in. That's good, really. However, she sees a familiar black Jansport backpack, open and spewing out books and papers, on the table and she knows that Seungwan is around. Probably using the bathroom or something. So she hurries because she has no plans of staying around for a chat. She looks for her script and finds it on one of the end tables flanking the battered couch she, Seungwan and Seulgi spent so much time sitting on. She's just about to leave when the klutz in her kicks in and for some mad twist of fate, her script ends up flying, lands on the table, right on top of Seungwan's backpack.

She mutters under her breath as she walks to pick it up again. And that's when she sees the thick envelope emblazoned with the Maple leaf of Canada stuffed in between the pages of a book inside Seungwan's bag. She places her script down for a moment and pulls the book out, opens it to the page where the envelope is wedged in like a bookmark. But the envelope isn't the only thing there, there's also a photo of her, Seungwan, and Seulgi (the one that went missing from the wall of photos weeks ago). Nervous, she proceeds to open the envelope.

Joohyun swallows hard. Talk about a Pandora's box moment. All of the evil in the world to Joohyun is in this plane ticket, Incheon to Toronto, set for exactly one week from now. And no hope comes with this one; no return flight or something, bringing her to the conclusion that Pandora was one lucky .

The door swings open and she puts the envelope back inside the backpack just in time.

"Joohyun unnie!" Seungwan's smile is unnerving. She actually looks happy to see her that it hurts.

Joohyun's mind clamors for her to run, to get away from here as fast as she can. But her feet won’t move.

"H-hey there, Seungwan." She waves her hand a little, shoves it in her pocket when she notices that she's shaking.

"You haven't been here in a while." Seungwan’s voice is gentle, almost as if she's longing to say that she missed her. But it could just be her heart playing tricks on her.

"I've been busy with rehearsals." Joohyun manages to say. "I actually have to go there now. I just dropped by to get this." She picks up the manuscript, shows it to Seungwan.

"Ah, I see. Well, you better get going then. I won't keep you." Seungwan smiles once more. Keep you. How ironically cruel because that’s all that Joohyun wants right now. For Seungwan to keep her. For Seungwan to tell her that what she’s thinking isn’t true. That she’s not leaving.

But it’s complicated so just Joohyun nods, walks past Seungwan and out the door and doesn't look back. Her hand covers in an attempt to keep herself from crying but what good will it do her? Seungwan is leaving and she's leaving in a week, in seven days, in 168 hours.

Joohyun starts to feel dizzy that she has to sit on the sidewalk as soon as she gets out of the building. Her breathing becomes heavy. And at this point, she doesn't even care anymore if she's in a public place. She lets her tears fall.

This cannot be happening. Wasn't it enough for Seungwan to fall for Seulgi while Joohyun watched in denial and discomfort? Now she has to leave too?

A small part of her tells her that she should have detached herself sooner then maybe she won't be hurting like this because she feels even emptier than she did just minutes ago. But then again, that part is too small and it's drowned by the bigger parts, parts that are scared of losing Seungwan, parts that are scared of living without Seungwan.

Seungwan can't go. If she goes, Joohyun would... she would... she doesn't really know what would happen to herself. And maybe that's the point. Seungwan is a hundred and one reasons important to her. A hundred and two if she admits her feelings but that would just complicate things even more. Does Seulgi even know? What about her? Was Seungwan even planning to tell her? Would she know of this if she hadn't seen the plane ticket for herself? Regardless, she can't just let Seungwan leave.

So Joohyun stands up and runs back to the club room, pulls herself together for this. Just enough for one attempt to make her stay. She stops at the door, left slightly ajar. She freezes in place, hearing voices from the inside.

"Okay. So you're going home to your family. I understand that… but you're coming back, right? When?" Joohyun recognizes Seulgi's voice despite all the shaking.

"Yeah, of course, Seulgi." Seungwan isn't any better off than her.

"When? When are you coming back?"  

"I wasn't meant to stay this long here and there still so many things I have to do over there-"

"Please just answer my question, Seungwan." Seulgi's voice sounds desperate and it cuts Joohyun into pieces knowing that they're sharing the same pain.

"I don't know, Seulgi." Seungwan finally says but it sounds so much like a death sentence. "I don't know but I will come back for sure and when I do nothing will change, right?"

Silence weighs down on the room but then Seulgi, Joohyun thinks, starts sobbing.

"Please say something." It's Seungwan, Joohyun thought wrong.

"Is that what you expect me to do? Wait for you without knowing when you're coming back and then pretend that nothing happened even though you were gone?” Seulgi’s voice rises one octave higher and then she drops it to mere whisper like she was running out of breath.

“Seungwan, how is that fair? You and I... we...we're just getting started." Seulgi sounds so helpless, maybe as helpless as Joohyun feels.

"I know, Seulgi, and I'm sorry. I don't want to leave too, but I have to." Seungwan cries.

"And I don't want to be the one to keep you from your family, Seungwan, but... can't you stay?"

"Does this mean that you won't wait for me?"

"I don't mean it like that. But you leaving means that we have to breakup indefinitely and I don't want that. I don't want you to go. I don't want to lose you." Seulgi begs.

"It doesn't have to be like that, Seulgi."

Seulgi doesn’t answer.

"Seugi, please-"

"I think I'm going to need some time." She says.

"We don't have time. I'm leaving in a week."

Somebody throws something and it makes a really loud noise in the room. Joohyun doesn't even flinch. But her instincts tell her to move away from the door but she couldn’t.

The door opens fully and she's standing face to face with Seulgi who pushes past her without sparing her a look. Now, some may argue that the right thing to do would be to stop her. Others will say, let her go. But what's right here when all of this is just so wrong?

Joohyun moves away from the door and slides down to the adjacent wall to sit on the floor. A weakness grips at her, rendering her unable to keep herself up. And as a price for this weakness, she suffers the pain of not one but two as she listens to Seungwan cry like she's lost the entire world.

--

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but… you look terrible, unnie.” Yerim’s eyebrows are all knotted up and she looks at Joohyun with eyes full of pity. Joohyun hates it because she knows she’s being pitied on.

“It’s just because I’ve been really busy with the play.” She says in her defense. “Did you bring what I asked for?” She changes the topic.

Sooyoung scoffs over the maknae’s shoulder.

“Unnie, we’re busy people too, you know. You shouldn’t be asking us for errands like this.” She says, frowning. “If you need something done, you should do it yourself. Asking us like this… it seems like you’re avoiding going to the clubroom on purpose.”

Yerim turns to Sooyoung, pulls her down to sit next to her, opposite of where Joohyun sits. Being the youngest, she doesn’t exactly like seeing her older friends fight. However, she does want to find out for herself what is going on.

“But… did something happen, unnie? Did you and Seulgi unnie and Seungwan unnie fight? We don’t see any of you together anymore.” She asks, careful.

Joohyun looks away. “It’s not like that, Yerim-ah. We’ve just been busy with our own lives.” She grips her coffee cup, takes a sip.

“Yeah, whatever you say.” Sooyoung says in that usual sass. She stands and pulls Yerim up to stand too.

“Are you guys leaving already?” Joohyun wishes that she didn’t sound so desperate in asking because she might as well have begged them to say with her tone. It’s hard not having anyone to talk to.

“We have somewhere we need to be.” Sooyoung says, not the least bit regretful. “But can I say something? I think that it’s time to for you all to stop this - you, Seungwan unnie, and Seulgi unnie.”

Joohyun frowns at her cup.

“Seungwan unnie’s leaving soon, in case you forgot.” Sooyoung says, even glares a little at her. She could feel every bit of judgment the younger girl has for her. She’s become a disappointment to the younger ones. How sad.

“Yeah, I don’t need reminding.” Joohyun says, bitter.

“Good. So come back to the club room, please. Your friend needs you.” Sooyoung says. “Come back before it’s too late.” The last part, she need not really add.

Joohyun watches her two younger friends walk away from her and she can’t help but feel like she’s seen this somewhere before. She must be going crazy. Well, it’s either that or this is just a really ed up world. How can it not be when all that she’s ever been feeling lately is resentment, anger, and fear?

She hates being wrong and admitting that she was wrong, on top of so many things. But this is something she can’t keep on avoiding. She was wrong and she has to admit it now because Sooyoung is right. Seungwan’s departure is looming nearer with each passing day. Pretending that it isn’t, pretending that nothing changed will not change the circumstance into something more favorable. The reality is that Seungwan’s going back to Toronto and nobody knows when she’s going to come back. The only thing they can do about this is to spend the last days together and not waste it.

It’s true that she’s been so afraid of the fact that Seungwan is leaving and even she thought that it was best to make a clean exit on her own so she won’t have to feel bad about being left behind but she’s not the only one having a hard time here, is she? There’s Seulgi who feels wronged about this in every way. And then there’s Seungwan too. Joohyun realizes how selfish she has been. It’s not right to desert your friends when they need you the most.

What was she thinking? Run away to not get hurt? They’re all hurting already. They should probably just hurt together. There’s a bitter feeling to it, but there’s also some sweetness that comes with it. So she finishes her coffee and heads out.

--

Joohyun finds Seungwan exactly where she last saw her, in that exact same spot in the clubroom; smiling at her like she was waiting for her to turn up this whole time. It’s as if the past few days didn’t happen. It’s as if Joohyun is just finding out about Seungwan leaving now. It’s as if she had just put back the plane ticket inside Seungwan’s back pack.

It doesn’t help her and instead makes everything more difficult.

“Joohyun unnie,” The way Seungwan says her name makes her feel like nothing’s wrong and at the same time, like everything is wrong. Because she can see, can feel, Seungwan trying her best to sound and look okay.

“Oh, Seungwan-ah.” But the moment she decided to walk in the door, she knew she would have to do something like this, go along with whatever front Seungwan puts up. If it helps her carry less of the burden, Joohyun will do it. Anything to make Seungwan hurt less.

“Did you leave something behind again? What about rehearsals-”

Seungwan was the one she left behind. But that’s not exactly something she can say so she just closes the distance between them and pulls her in for a hug. It catches the younger girl off guard.

“Just stay like this for a bit.” Joohyun whispers as she closes her eyes. “And what you said last time about keeping me... I want you to keep me so don’t send me off to rehearsals, okay?” Forget about her complicated feelings for this girl right now. There’s no way she’s going anywhere today without Seungwan. She feels like that’s something she should know about, at the very least.

Seungwan chuckles softly. “Okay.”

Joohyun pulls back so she could see her face, tries to see if there is any hint of sadness in there. And she finds that there’s quite a lot.

But when Seungwan asks, “Do you maybe want to get something to eat?” Joohyun pretends that she doesn’t see it, pushes the thought aside and just thinks about spending today with Seungwan like tomorrow won’t come which might be the case here, because without Seungwan, there won’t be anything like a tomorrow for her.

“Yeah, let’s do that.” Joohyun says, puts on the best smile she can muster.

“Ddukbokkee?”

“Mhmm. Ddukbokkee.”